Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[breadandcircuses]

Is it possible that it's a practice bird?

Like... my dad does that in the lead up to Thanksgiving (though mostly because turkeys are so darn cheap in November) and he'll make turkey every thursday in november until Thanksgiving and it's a full Turkey Dinner with all the Trimmings, picking the three or four we liked best in the lead up.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Edit: Found out he's smoking the damned turkey, so no deep fryer tipovers to look forward to. Also, he prepared the bird 14 days before. I'm not sure about turkey customs but is it normal to marinate/season a turkey almost 2 weeks in advance?

Sure is. Gives the meat great salmonella.

 

[Slimy Time]

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Charles seems to be able to do it fine.

Dude, this isn't hard to do.
Just look up mussel pots and how to make them. If it's local and cheap, you are better off steaming them yourself than going out and eating from a restaurant.

Behold! Jack Scalfani’s Quora account. While many of the questions he’s asked are years old, he has been answering the questions of others as recently as seven months ago. Here are a few gems, and there are a lot of gems:

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Enjoy.

So his response to everything is "look it up on Pinterest?" Hey guys, I need some exercises to do to help me with my stroke, any you can recommend? Idk, look it up on Pinterest fag.

Also, wtf is this idiot talking about with Asians having no palate for BBQ? Isn't Korean and Japanese BBQ a big thing? It's probably this idiot's fucked up palate and his lust for salmonella that makes him think this. Not caked in sugar or butter? Their palates must be shit.

 

[Beluga]

Behold! Jack Scalfani’s Quora account. While many of the questions he’s asked are years old, he has been answering the questions of others as recently as seven months ago. Here are a few gems, and there are a lot of gems:

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Does he know that Korea exists?

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

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Yeah, those god damn slant-eyes would never be able to appreciate Jack's all-American cuisine.

 

[Aaway]

We are days away from the Thanksgiving turkey shitshow. Can't wait. Fat Jack just posted this on Twitter yesterday:

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Shit's burnt on the sides and there's no dough rise. Honestly, I can't wait to see him struggle using one arm to prepare the Thanksgiving turkey - best if he does the whole deep frying thing and the vat of hot oil tips over. That'll be fun.

Edit: Found out he's smoking the damned turkey, so no deep fryer tipovers to look forward to. Also, he prepared the bird 14 days before. I'm not sure about turkey customs but is it normal to marinate/season a turkey almost 2 weeks in advance?

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another day, another disgusting crime against food carried out by jack

Behold! Jack Scalfani’s Quora account. While many of the questions he’s asked are years old, he has been answering the questions of others as recently as seven months ago. Here are a few gems, and there are a lot of gems:

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Enjoy.

LOL

jack's laziness knows no bounds. and i'm really tempted to make another youtube account (since jack has me blocked) just so I can bring up his "asians don't have a pallet for bbq" comment on one of his live chats

 

[Bad Gateway]

Behold! Jack Scalfani’s Quora account. While many of the questions he’s asked are years old, he has been answering the questions of others as recently as seven months ago. Here are a few gems, and there are a lot of gems:

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Honestly someone introduce Jack to Hawaiian food or Korean BBQ or something so we can get him the fuck out of here faster.

 

[Chamulum]

another day, another disgusting crime against food carried out by jack

LOL

jack's laziness knows no bounds. and i'm really tempted to make another youtube account (since jack has me blocked) just so I can bring up his "asians don't have a pallet for bbq" comment on one of his live chats

Please do it. I need to see it. Mushbrain wouldn't acknowledge it but I still need to see it.

 

[ScrappyLobsterchu]

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Charles seems to be able to do it fine.

I love how in Jack's head putting butter, garlic, and clams in a pan and waiting a minute is very hard.

 

[captkrisma]

"Asians have no palate for BBQ"

Meanwhile in Kobe Japan...

 

[Charlie Delicious]

"Asians have no palate for BBQ"

Meanwhile in Kobe Japan...

Char siu called. Looks like a Chinese number.

What ignorant suburban trash you are, Jack.




Sprinkling food dust on meat is truly an art form, guise

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

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Why even bother hiding the uncooked meat? Just eat slabs of raw pork unseasoned, like God intended.

 

[Xerxes IX]

Jack said this is Facebook's fault because it's a big security flaw on their part, and that YouTube is much better about warning you when these things happen.

Does he even know that recently very similar things have been happening to youtube accounts and last time I checked, Youtube has been as helpful as ever about it (i.e. they've done jack fucking shit?) In fact he's lucky this didn't happen to his Youtube because I bet they'd just ignore it.

 

[DuckSucker]

He thinks that because he thinks China Palace Buffet is the only place he eats asian food and he thinks it's legitimate. They dont have half racks of ribs at the buffet there so obviously asians dont understand barbeque. He probably thinks sushi is a Chinese dish since they have it there. You could feed him green curry or something and tell him it's Thai and he would be like "No, asians dont eat curry, this is Indian food."

 

[JackDavis]

Is macaroni keto?
Jack's secret ingredient is "Pepper flakes" in his pasta. What a new idea.
The "strange" item in the mac and cheese is yellow mustard. Anybody who's ever made mac and cheese from scratch before knows that mustard (usually powder, but basically same thing) is almost as common an ingredient as cheese.
"This is... the cherry on the cake." Cherry on a cake?? Who puts cherries on a cake? That cake is a lie.

Grating his own cheese! I'm actually impressed!
Cook the macaroni til it's "All Dentay" - Jack, true authentic Italian.

I'm sorry, I don't own a smoker... Is this what it's supposed to fucking look like? What the fuck it looks like SoCal.

Jack's full review: You guys MUST do crab meat. That's what makes this a homerun. Other than macaroni and cheese, that's what this tastes like. With the crab meat and the smoky flavor, it's a homerun.
So basically all he tells us is that the Smoked Crab Mac & Cheese tastes like macaroni and cheese with crabmeat and smoky flavor. Thanks Jack.

 

[Aaway]

for someone who grew up in an area as diverse in people (and food) as southern california jack sure is an uncultured piece of shit. he fits in perfectly in TN

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Good news: Jack finds a purpose for the dead fish arm
Bad news: The purpose is to be dead weight

 

[Chamulum]

for someone who grew up in an area as diverse in people (and food) as southern california jack sure is an uncultured piece of shit. he fits in perfectly in TN

That's insulting to the people there that are actually cultured. All 3 of them.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

for someone who grew up in an area as diverse in people (and food) as southern california jack sure is an uncultured piece of shit. he fits in perfectly in TN

I always forget that Jack isn't an authentic Southern redneck. He's assimilated flawlessly into the culture of dipshit Evangelical redneck boomers who don't know shit about shit.

 

[Adamska]

Also, wtf is this idiot talking about with Asians having no palate for BBQ? Isn't Korean and Japanese BBQ a big thing? It's probably this idiot's fucked up palate and his lust for salmonella that makes him think this. Not caked in sugar or butter? Their palates must be shit.

He thinks teriyaki style BBQ is inferior because it means more rice and less meat he can hork down with all the greed of a pig. That and this fuck needs either a shit ton of garlic or a boatload of spices to even taste anything anymore due to his fucked diet and palate.

I love how in Jack's head putting butter, garlic, and clams in a pan and waiting a minute is very hard.

When you have a cannibal ghost screaming to eat your family every second of the day, it must be very hard to wait a minute for food. I mean look at how fatty compensates by overheating everything so he can pretend the charred outside raw inside shit he choke-licks down is "cooked".

Char siu called. Looks like a Chinese number.

What ignorant suburban trash you are, Jack.


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Sprinkling food dust on meat is truly an art form, guise

Dry rub is more convenient, hence why Jack picked it. I tend to use them myself too, but then again I tend to bake or jacket my stuff. But wet rubs are extremely useful because you can convert them easily to marinades. It is also very useful in smoking and grilling where it loses moisture to protect what it covers. This is especially useful for dryer meats.

And on the macaroni, let me cleanse the palate: