حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%
  • Total voters
    954
So to recap, Connor is gonna get his shit together...one day at a time.
Day 1: Connor says he's gonna document something he did to improve his life everyday with any missed days made up for the following day, he posts his resume which is crap (this took him weeks to make). We call him out that he won't keep this shit up. He admits the resume is half-assed. We call him out on his laziness and he leaves.
Day 2: Connor says he went shopping with his grandmother, no documented progress. He leaves saying his bedtime is 10pm (grown-ass man, ladies and gentlemen.)
Day 3 (Today) : …
 
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Connor's taking a while in his response for the Round Robin. I think we unofficially expanded to multiple paragraphs because Connor tried to take it in a really stupid direction that no way in hell was I going to entertain that garglemesh.

The story is about Connor, btw. He started and made it about himself and seems to be annoyed when I put his character through bad shit.
 
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@Connor, have you ever tried writing down your dreams? I mean beyond telling everyone and their dog about your Little Rascals mpreg fantasies. Writing them down privately. I ask because I personally am a very, very inhibited creator and writing down dreams 1) keeps me writing and 2) serves as a repository for imagery and plot points that my awake brain might have been too self-conscious and uptight to come up with. Obviously not everything you dream is going to be worth developing but some of it might be.
 
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Meowthkip said:
I think we unofficially expanded to multiple paragraphs
Click to expand...

I'm not sold on this being a good idea. If Reconfiguring Elizabeth showed us anything about Connor's writing style, it's that he can take a lot of words to say very little. I really think keeping his works short will start forcing him to use words wisely in writing. Brevity and all that, as Shakespeare said. Nevertheless, I'm trusting you're doing something to help him anyway, and that's a much bigger step than anything else on the past 200 pages.
 
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Back on track now that images have been partially repaired. My inaction is a cause for concern - if they don't get fixed we might have lost most of the Wrong Planet series. But take heart gentle readers, if that's the case I'll just redouble efforts to properly document the Connor article on the lolcow wiki. Hell, even if it does, I probably will do the same so newcomers will be able to catch up quickly.

Regardless, Part The Only of Stephen King Dot Com

This is the only verification that Connor existed before the "Connor" account. Mind you - his last activity was February 17th of 2014. This doesn't really jive with his claim this took place "during high school" or was so far back he can't remember it. Methinks Connor likes to claim he "can't remember things" in a weaselly attempt in getting out of trouble.
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1st post: "I have returned, after a hellish month of banishment, to reclaim my position as The Best Boy!"
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Oh, Connor. If only you had stayed. You could have gotten so many more likes :(
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START OF PSA​
80's synth rolls. A sweet shot of a blue grid pattern shooting into a space background. Fade in to school hallway. Coming around the corner is Smutley, carrying his jacket over shoulder.

SMUTLEY
Kiwi's, I'm just like you. I like to have fun, to joke around and make friends in a socially cool environment. But you know what isn't cool? Sociopaths. They are a problem plaguing our nations schools and forums but with diligence you too can protect yourself!​

Change to camera 2. Smutley places a foot on a backwards chair and leans his elbow on his knee.

SMUTLEY
Is this person "jovial" or "talkative"? Do they have a "twisted" sense of humor? Have they lied to you about things that don't matter, like laughing at Robocop's death as a human? Well you might be in the presnce of a sociopath. Don't worry, but take precautions!​

Change to camera 1. Smutley stands upright again, and points towards the audience

SMUTLEY
Because your life might be in danger!​
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I can't keep track of the number of different stories Connor tries to weave in to a single paragraph. Take note though, that Spring of 2014, Connor was taking TWO classes.
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I would have forgiven him the use of The Stand since he IS on a Stephen King forum, but...
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Glad he doesn't live in LA then.
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Chipmunk's Bounty said:
I'm not sold on this being a good idea. If Reconfiguring Elizabeth showed us anything about Connor's writing style, it's that he can take a lot of words to say very little. I really think keeping his works short will start forcing him to use words wisely in writing. Brevity and all that, as Shakespeare said. Nevertheless, I'm trusting you're doing something to help him anyway, and that's a much bigger step than anything else on the past 200 pages.
Click to expand...

Well, he's actually been doing the opposite. He seems to have way too much happening in his one or two paragraphs. Tonal shifts all over the place to make himself in the story seem cool and composed and important.

I needed several paragraphs to steer away from that bullshit.
 
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Meowthkip said:
Well, he's actually been doing the opposite. He seems to have way too much happening in his one or two paragraphs. Tonal shifts all over the place to make himself in the story seem cool and composed and important.

I needed several paragraphs to steer away from that bullshit.
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So one of the things you might need to help him with is pacing, I guess? Sending luck your way. Keep at it, @Connor and @Meowthkip!
 
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Smutley said:
START OF PSA​
80's synth rolls. A sweet shot of a blue grid pattern shooting into a space background. Fade in to school hallway. Coming around the corner is Smutley, carrying his jacket over shoulder.

SMUTLEY
Kiwi's, I'm just like you. I like to have fun, to joke around and make friends in a socially cool environment. But you know what isn't cool? Sociopaths. They are a problem plaguing our nations schools and forums but with diligence you too can protect yourself!​

Change to camera 2. Smutley places a foot on a backwards chair and leans his elbow on his knee.

SMUTLEY
Is this person "jovial" or "talkative"? Do they have a "twisted" sense of humor? Have they lied to you about things that don't matter, like laughing at Robocop's death as a human? Well you might be in the presnce of a sociopath. Don't worry, but take precautions!​

Change to camera 1. Smutley stands upright again, and points towards the audience

SMUTLEY
Because your life might be in danger!​
View attachment 17545
Click to expand...

Holy fuck, please put a baby in me.
 
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