Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

You mean Lando and the Millennium Falcon/some new droid played by tumblrgender Billy Dee Williams doesn't count as queer representation?
PeeveTheSheev said:
The filmmaker noted that he’s always strived to find a cast for “Star Wars” that “looked more the way the world looks than not.”
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Fuck this shit, if I wanted to see how the world really looks I'd go outside. Star Wars is a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, it's not supposed to look like the world!
 
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PeeveTheSheev said:
“And in the case of the LGBTQ community, it was important to me that people who go to see this movie feel that they’re being represented in the film,” Abrams said.

So without spoiling the film, Variety asked, does that mean there will be a queer character in “The Rise of Skywalker”?

“I will say I’m giving away nothing about what happens in the movie,” Abrams replied with a smile. “But I did just say what I just said.”
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It all finally makes sense. Rey doesn't adopt the name Skywalker to honor her mentor, Luke. She takes the name Skywalker because she marries his daughter, Zorii Bliss-Skywalker!
 
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You know guys, im legit concerned Disney will refuse to let this movie properly bomb and will begin to cook the books, like they have done with Captain Marvel and Frozen 2 to a lesser extent, then bribe every motherfucker in existence to turn a blind eye to it. To them, this is far less costly than displeased investors and share holders (the bragging rights also is a bonus). I have mentioned multiple times how disney is too rich to fail and they arent afraid to abuse their monopoly status, they will literally buy a hit to keep investors happy, they are screwing over capitalism for their own neo brand.
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
there's no way PoeFinn shit is ever happening if they don't want to lose Chinese and middle eastern audience (parts of the middle east and Turkey have a major hard on for Disney Wars), then again, Disney probably plans to edit out and deceive said audiences.
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"WHY YES I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT LGBTQIAWTFBBQ REPRESENTATION "

*proceeds to censor this representation out of local versions in countries where it would give him an 18+ rating or ban*

The handsome tard said:
cook the books, like they have done with Captain Marvel and Frozen 2 to a lesser extent
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I saw Frozen II (had no choice in the matter) on holiday in the Mediterranean last week - one 40+ year old man with glasses by his lonesome self, me and my gf, three 12 year old boys with popcorn buckets on their heads, and a gaggle of American pre-teen girls and their moms. Maybe 15 people in total in a 100+ seat showing.
 
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Why would a Palpatine clone who apparently has all of the force power of the original not also inherent his ambition? Making Emperor clones is so retarded because you are literally producing a bunch of competitors. Don't give me any shit about them being compliant like clone soldiers, either. These are force users.

Fucking ridiculous. .
 
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Starscreams Cape said:
Why would a Palpatine clone who apparently has all of the force power of the original not also inherent his ambition? Making Emperor clones is so exceptional because you are literally producing a bunch of competitors. Don't give me any shit about them being compliant like clone soldiers, either. These are force users.

Fucking ridiculous. .
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I actually do have more spoilers to share, some which indicate that Palpatine also has Yoda clones ffs. But I take these leaks from Ward with a grain of salt because they're a bit too detailed, and I haven't seen a single leak in regards to Ochi in the past year aside from the dagger and ship, so I have nothing to compare these new leaks to.

For starters, according to MSW's leaks, Ochi is supposedly a member of the jawa donut steals I mentioned before that were tending the Snoke clones. Ochi appears in the beginning tending to the clones, and later appears dead on not-Tatooine 3. His face and those of his fellow jawa donut steals is said to resemble Baby Yoda's but his ears are covered (so I guess that one asshole who tricked my pals into going to IX because it ties into Baby Yoda/Mandalorian bullshit was probably right...). Again, he is the owner of the sith dagger mcguffin and the owner of the ship that becomes the nu-falcon for the crappy main characters, mainly Poe and Finn.

Luke and Lando went on a mission years ago to find Ochi for some reason (that's a story for another time), but never did. During this mission, Lando's daughter (or kids) was kidnapped by the FO. Finn's sister is in fact nu-Lando's daughter, while Finn is implied to be a shittier re-imagining of Lando Jr.... Also a major republic figure gets his kids taken and the New Republic still doesn't see the FO as a threat? Who writes this bunk? Oh right, its fucking JJ, Kennedy and Kasdan with zero creativity. Shit gets more disturbing and there's more to tell, but I'll get to that in a moment.

1575467766484.png

Also what kind of stance is this?
 
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Save the Loli said:
You mean Lando and the Millennium Falcon/some new droid played by tumblrgender Billy Dee Williams doesn't count as queer representation?

Fuck this shit, if I wanted to see how the world really looks I'd go outside. Star Wars is a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, it's not supposed to look like the world!
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It's funny that Hollywood thinks "the outside world" looks like a Los Angeles nightclub, with lots of dangerhair and dubious genders....when in reality it's just People of Wal-Mart.
 
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Judge Holden said:
Because the dagger is going to be the plot device used to locate where exogol is, and the tape measure is meant to be some navigation dohicky

You know im right
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fuck i hope you are wrong. It looks like a tire pressure gauge you find at the gas station pumps. I could only hope C3P0 sees this dagger, offers to translate, then stabs himself in the eye to end his misery with it.
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
Here is the recipe for Ronto Wraps.
View attachment 1035932

Even Chef Cookie's in-universe entry admits that this might not be a perfect recreation of the one in the park since that one is probably nothing but processed meat or "impossible meat" loaded with gross preservatives and salt. This recipe is just salty as fuck pork, tomato puree and onions served on a saltier pita covered in brown sugar to mask the saltiness. So it might not be too far off from the real thing. But at least if you make it yourself you at least know where the meat is coming from.
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How the fuck do you mess up wraps? It's BREAD AND MEAT. That's it, tomorrow I'm heading to the store, getting some ingredients and trying my hands at fixing this shit. If it comes out well I'll post a recipe and pictures.
 
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Judge Holden said:
New pic of the sthuper cool and totally interesting dagger plot device being held by our sour plank protagonist
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So this is Ochi's fancy sith dagger up close... Shit barely looks like a dagger and there's nothing Sith about this (then again Disney threw that out the window...). It looks like a toy klingon dagger made by Britbongs with part of a protractor sticking out of it. Seriously WTF is this? Are they trying to steal ideas from Goonies too? Bunch of dumb youths in a grassy field holding a "key" to a map? Also the damn thing is so blunt it couldn't even cut through paper. Who fucking designed this?

Maybe the leaks says more about this bullshit:

In the vision Rey sees of her parents’ death, Rey’s father and mother are in a tent of some kind, probably on Jakku from the look of it all. (Side note: Kylo did say they were buried in a pauper’s grave on Jakku.) Ochi then murders Rey’s parents with the Sith dagger–yes, the same dagger we saw Rey holding in Kylo’s quarters in the final trailer during the Force bond fight.

It seems as if either Lando and Luke went looking for Ochi himself, or they went looking specifically for Ochi’s dagger, in order to translate the text on the blade for Luke’s Jedi studies. Abrams and Kasdan did base The First Order on Nazis that fled to Argentina after World War II, so I would buy this idea of wrangling in war criminal Ochi as having at least been the story at some point, even if it isn’t the final choice made for the film. Either way though, the dagger does have important Sith writing on it with information about the outer reaches (the planet Exegol where Darth Sidious retreats to). And really, that’s what matters for this film because this dagger belonged to Ochi, and Ochi did a terrible thing with it.

See-Threepio cannot read the forbidden Sith text on the dagger. (Threepio will later attempt to sacrifice himself so the message on Ochi’s dagger can be read on Kijimi.) Later, when Rey takes the dagger her “Force Back” powers are triggered and she sees her parents’ last moments alive. When Rey sees the dagger as it murders her mother and father, this is apparently when we realize Ochi is the killer.

So this toy dagger killed Rey's parents? This stupid fucking children's utility toy? How fucking toyetic can you get? Imagine how fucking ridiculous the death of her parents will be if that's the case. Some midget Yoda clone fucking whacks Rey's parents to death with a children's toy.
 
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Judge Holden said:
Because the dagger is going to be the plot device used to locate where exogol is, and the tape measure is meant to be some navigation dohicky

You know im right
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But why does a civilization with holograms and space maps measure distance with a Tape Measure!
 
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