Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Antipathy]

New pic of the sthuper cool and totally interesting dagger plot device being held by our sour plank protagonist

How are you supposed to kill someone with that hunk of plastic? It looks less sharp than a butter knife and would probably snap in that middle bit if you tried to stab someone with it. THIS IS A UNIVERSE WITH BLADES THAT CAN CUT THROUGH BLAST DOORS, WHY ARE THEY USING THIS STUPID CHUNK OF FUCK?

I thought the Sith dagger would be sleek, red, and black, you know, like a Sith Dagger would look like. Something made out of obsidian with jagged edges and a silver or gold hilt, with ominous red runes carved in the flat, not a goddamn toy spaceship with a handle glued on the bottom.

 

[verissimus]

You know guys, im legit concerned Disney will refuse to let this movie properly bomb and will begin to cook the books, like they have done with Captain Marvel and Frozen 2 to a lesser extent, then bribe every motherfucker in existence to turn a blind eye to it. To them, this is far less costly than displeased investors and share holders (the bragging rights also is a bonus). I have mentioned multiple times how disney is too rich to fail and they arent afraid to abuse their monopoly status, they will literally buy a hit to keep investors happy, they are screwing over capitalism for their own neo brand.

Good! Let them commit fraud and hope this time, the powers that be ream them for doing it.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

why is there a tape measure sticking out of it?

I'm sure JJ/KK got their inspiration elsewhere

Spoiler

 

[Antipathy]

I'm sure JJ/KK got their inspiration elsewhere

Spoiler

View attachment 1036320

Damn, I was just about to post this

NSFW – Sex Toys For Kid’s Show About Space Wizards With Laser Swords

Hype.my reported on this back in 2017. It may provide an explanation as to why Hasbro toy sales are in a slump. The new fans aren’t interested in toys for kids. They demand a toy that perf…

disneystarwarsisdumb.wordpress.com

Take it with a grain of salt. Also Bacca has yet to respond to the assblasting he received after he chimped out at me.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

The closer we get the more shills vaguely report on story bits that are in line with leaks, of course with positive spin.

It's looking more and more like the dumbest/most depressing/baffling plot leaks are true.

On one hand I'm sad that a franchise I once valued has reached such shittastic heights, but this is outweighed by my increasing excitement about how bad this will tank/send shills into suicide mode.

TLDR Daisey Ridley has horse teeth and "Its true, all of it"

 

[Starscreams Cape]

I know people who work in VFX. They shoot stuff to help the actors have weight with what they're holding, then digitally edit it to look like something else.

I tend to believe just that, that they will pretty it up in post.

However I will laugh my ass off if that picture is what ends up on screen.

 

[Judge Holden]

Honestly the entire genre of "media based cookbooks" needs to go away and die. At absolute best they just offer mediocre rehashes of basic shit you can find in any dime store book section or five second google search, and at worst the recipes within are just straight up disgusting and inedible.

Perhaps the only halfway respectable examples are ones that are half tongue in cheek "in universe" works that function decently enough as a spinoff novella, like that discworld cookbook from ages ago which combined the aforementioned "mediocre but passable recipes" style cookbooks with a bunch of prose from the character depicted as writing said cookbook.

And before anyone mentions a certain bald youtuber cookuck, remember that any recipe attempted/adapted by him is either ultra generic or has to be heavily modified if not changed entirely to be edible.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

why is there a tape measure sticking out of it?

Don't you know? Tape measures were an ancient and long lost technology used all the way back in the Sith Wars.

 

[ZMOT]

Luke and Lando went on a mission years ago to find Ochi for some reason (that's a story for another time), but never did. During this mission, Lando's daughter (or kids) was kidnapped by the FO. Finn's sister is in fact nu-Lando's daughter, while Finn is implied to be a shittier re-imagining of Lando Jr.... Also a major republic figure gets his kids taken and the New Republic still doesn't see the FO as a threat? Who writes this bunk? Oh right, its fucking JJ, Kennedy and Kasdan with zero creativity. Shit gets more disturbing and there's more to tell, but I'll get to that in a moment.

this can't be true, this is just too retarded. FO kidnapping the kids of the guy that blew up the second death star, a literal hero? and no one does anything? han not pulling every favor to get their location? leia not going all out politically? fucking luke skywalker not cutting a straight line through FO troopers?
and where's the mother? unless lando didn't just fuck the falcon and they're actually droids, we can assume she must have some pull else she never would've get knocked up by lando of all people.

 

[Antipathy]

And before anyone mentions a certain bald youtuber cookuck, remember that any recipe attempted/adapted by him is either ultra generic or has to be heavily modified to be edible.

Aside from the face, I don't see much cuckery from him.

For those unaware, I won't mention him by name to fuck with you.

 

[Creep3r]

this can't be true, this is just too exceptional. FO kidnapping the kids of the guy that blew up the second death star, a literal hero? and no one does anything? han not pulling every favor to get their location? leia not going all out politically? fucking luke skywalker not cutting a straight line through FO troopers?
and where's the mother? unless lando didn't just fuck the falcon and they're actually droids, we can assume she must have some pull else she never would've get knocked up by lando of all people.

Well the sith dagger leaks turned out to be true, so did Palpatine's throne, the crazy frog wannabe, 3PO's fake death, among a bunch of other confirmed leaks... So I wouldn't be surprised if this bullshit was true. I mean the FO did so much bullshit yet nu-Leia still couldn't convince the New Republic to take action. None of this shit makes any sense and the DisneyEU doesn't help at making any of it sound good or convincing.

 

[Judge Holden]

Aside from the face, I don't see much cuckery from him.

For those unaware, I won't mention him by name to fuck with you.

Bald, beard, new york....yeah I might be unfairly judging here but I have learned through hard experience this combo is a near universally terminal one

 

[The handsome tard]

Good! Let them commit fraud and hope this time, the powers that be ream them for doing it.

What part of "They have control of the senate and the courts" you didnt fucking understand? They are too dangerous to be kept alive.
Jokes aside, you get a hard "" for that. Next you will be telling me that Media and The Law will actually admit that Epstein didnt kill himself. Everyone knows that he didnt but it will never be official and thus no one will get punished for it (he wont be giving names, its what matters to those elite monsters at the end of the day).

Same goes for Disney, they may get investigated but if you honestly think something will come out of it, you are naive (and naive is the worst insult there is because it question one's intelligence). If there is something, Disney will drop a fat pile of cash on their lap to erase their memory (or make them commit suicide with two shotgun blasts to the head, they were feeling oddly suicidal as of late...). Worst case scenario for Disney, they get caught, get a slap on the wrist, their shills will defend the shit out of them and we will all be forced to move on because we have lives to run.

With that said, I HOPE you are right, I may be a cynical bastard but I want to be positive and be proven wrong so I hope to God you are correct.

 

[Creep3r]

Here's another crappy recipe.

Unlike the one at Galaxy's Edge, this one actually looks edible, but that's not saying much since that's probably just plastic much like the food from promotional pics.

It also seems to use more ingredients than the one in the park, which I remind you this is the same shrimp salad from the Little Mermaid restaurant just brought over to GE and given a different name while somehow looking smaller and less appetizing.

I've already explained this food at the park in detail before back around page 500 or 510, such as price, taste, composition, etc, and where the name Yobshrimp comes from which are an old EU crustacean from Naboo which were big and purple and eaten by Gungans in a sort of cockfight style meal where they would put two yobshrimps in a bowl and have them kill each other. First one to die gets eaten. But Disney's version even has Gungans eating them in this sterile and dull format which I'm not sure why they did it since they could just claim that humans prefer them cooked while Gungans still do it the other way.

Regardless, I would like to see bald, bearded new yorkers with crappy youtube channels try to eat live shrimps a la Gungan.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Here's another crappy recipe.
View attachment 1036363
Unlike the one at Galaxy's Edge, this one actually looks edible, but that's not saying much since that's probably just plastic much like the food from promotional pics.
View attachment 1036365
It also seems to use more ingredients than the one in the park, which I remind you this is the same shrimp salad from the Little Mermaid restaurant just brought over to GE and given a different name while somehow looking smaller and less appetizing.

I've already explained this food at the park in detail before back around page 500 or 510 and where the name Yobshrimp comes from which are an old EU crustacean from Naboo which were big and purple and eaten by Gungans in a sort of cockfight style meal where they would put two yobshrimps in a bowl and have them kill each other. First one to die gets eaten. But Disney's version even has Gungans eating them in this sterile and dull format which I'm not sure why they did it since they could just claim that humans prefer them cooked while Gungans still do it the other way.

I would like to see bald gourmet new yorkers try to eat live shrimps.

I assuming you've seen MovieBob's atrocious cooking skills? If so, would you say some of GE's meals make MovieBob's meals look like art?

 

[Antipathy]

Bald, beard, new york....yeah I might be unfairly judging here but I have learned through hard experience this combo is a near universally terminal one

I haven't seen anything indicating an ego or much soycrap coming out of him. From what I've seen, he seems to be a fairly normal person. No diatribes coming out of him about social justice crap. He just has the bald + beard + glasses combo that's in vogue in that area, which is also infested with soy.

Back on topic, with the movie locked in now, any leaks or hearsay from here on out should probably be scrutinized further.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

So this.... is the power..... of a 1 Billion Dollar theme park;

Full Ride-Through: Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance POV at Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge

UPDATED LOW LIGHT POV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2fKzV3jDK4 Here is a full look at the ride portion of Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance at Disney's H...

www.youtube.com

The AT-ATs are the OT type (so, not the gorilla walkers of TLJ), there's an Ackbar Donut Steel, and Kylo jobs like a bitch.

 

[Creep3r]

I assuming you've seen MovieBob's atrocious cooking skills? If so, would you say some of GE's meals make MovieBob's meals look like art?

Well, in regards to MovieBob, I'm sure he would love this recipe:

Just raw eggs and lots and LOTS of oil. Also, if I'm reading this right, kosher salt exists in Star Wars now. This is I think the second time this has been confirmed since Snap Wexley (Chuck Wendig's self insert) was confirmed to only eat Kosher Melons in the new Resistance Reborn tie-in novel for Plan 9 which, I remind you, is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL for understanding the plot of Plan 9. So does that mean Snap Wexley (Wendig's self insert and fart man supreme) is jewish? Do jews have their own planet? Is it the Muuns of the Banking Clan? Is Snap half Banker?

Sad part is the name Emulsauce comes from an old EU entry showing the menu of Dex's Diner.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I think we need an updated version of the leaks, with all the new info and changes, I have lost track of the exact nature of the travesty that is going to prance around wearing the still bleeding skin of a once beloved franchise.

Also: Did Luke abondon his mission to find Ochi before or after he fucked up training Jedis and attempted to murder his nephew in his sleep?

 

[Ashen One]

this can't be true, this is just too exceptional. FO kidnapping the kids of the guy that blew up the second death star, a literal hero? and no one does anything? han not pulling every favor to get their location? leia not going all out politically? fucking luke skywalker not cutting a straight line through FO troopers?
and where's the mother? unless lando didn't just fuck the falcon and they're actually droids, we can assume she must have some pull else she never would've get knocked up by lando of all people.

Also keep in mind, the FO went through all the trouble to kidnap the kids of one of the heroes of the rebellion and then just... lets one escape and turns the other into a literal space janitor working for them that nobody in the entire First Order gives any importance to neither before nor after he defects and joins their main enemy. You would think Lando's kids would be valuable as hostages in case something went wrong or to make him cooperate but apparently not.