Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Broseph]

I had a friend in high school who was stricken by a terrible streak of misfortune when he let his friend borrow his GBA and all his games, but then his dumbass friend got busted with weed and related paraphernalia later that day and was expelled from school and my friend never got his stuff back.

This happened way back when cell phones were just starting to become more widespread but it was still common for high school kids to not have cell phones yet, so my friend had no way of contacting him since he didn't know his house number either.

And then right after that my friend left his Dreamcast, PS2 and all his games over at this stupid spic kid's house who lived in the ghetto. The spic's house got broken into and all my friend's stuff was stolen, including his entire Dreamcast library that he kept in a CD binder.

 

[Lumine]

2 weeks ago, this kid told my Spanish class about a girl who was our personal lolcow. In one of her classes, she was making an ass out of herself by refusing to work on a group project. Her group had to write down her work and that's when she got into tard rage and swung the chair at the teacher while cursing the entire class. She was sent to the office and required to work in a different room the next day.

 

[Spastic Colon]

I had a teacher in school that went to high school with my dad. My dad beat him up in high school because he caught the guy peeping into my aunt's bedroom window one night. He hated me. When I forgot to bring a pencil to class on a test day, he wouldn't let anyone give me a pencil. So I took an entire history test with an eyeliner pencil. He also sent my best friend to the principal for sneezing too much. When I protested, I got sent, too. We were student body officers and top of the class and had never gotten in trouble for anything, so he just told us to go back to class. He also used to have cheerleaders in his class after school sitting on his lap. I reported him for it, but they didn't do anything. Couple years after I left, he got fired for knocking up a student. They should have listened to me. He was a total perv.

Had a friend who, when she and her boyfriend didn't have a condom, decided to use saran wrap as a substitute. Luckily she didn't get pregnant.

I got death threats in high school. I started dating this guy and someone wasn't happy about it. I got anonymous notes and even phone calls threatening me to break up with him. Had to get the principal involved. My band director suspected someone in band, so he announced/bluffed that we were getting the FBI involved and that if anyone knew who it was, they should warn them that if it didn't stop, there were going to be traces on my phone and they'd be tracked down. I never got another note or another call.

When I worked as a teacher, I had one student who wasn't taking notes. I asked him why and he said he didn't need to because he had a pornographic memory. Another student (who used to go in the parking lot and smoke pot) had an electronic device in class. When I went to his desk and held out my hand for him to give it to me, he instead reached inside his pants and pulled out some pubes and gave them to me. That was the most awkward parental call I had to make. The mom was mad at me because I talked to the step dad about it instead of her (didn't even know he had a step dad). Cunt.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I suppose I got hit on by a junior jock (he looked exactly what you might imagine from a jock) I passed by on my first day of high school since he, surrounded by his friends, went "Hey, cutie" in that gruff douchey tone, and he kept it up well until I told his brother (who was aiding in trying to be "cupid") to tell him to lowkey go to hell. When I was telling the story about it the following year, a girl from his class said he's always been a jerk and to ignore him, which I was doing anyway but she said she could talk to him about it even though I said it wasn't a big deal. The both of them still sent stuff my way even afterwards, but I brushed it off and it petered out eventually, and maybe she did tell him to knock it off or something, I dunno, never followed up with her about it. When the jock graduated, I never heard about it again, though that might've also been because I never saw the brother again afterwards due to obvious changes in our schedules.

I dunno, I wonder if having a rolling backpack throughout freshman year put a target on my back. I was an awkward social sped back then, and even to this day, I honestly still don't believe anyone legit developed a crush on me throughout high school despite the number of boys who apparently showed interest in me. If I did get "hit on", then I had interpreted it as either harassment or trickery for being unable to follow up with it (probably was a remnant from having been bullied/teased by boys throughout elementary now that I think about it). Although one boy claimed he knew me from kindergarten or first grade, while I didn't doubt him, I legit have no memory of him from back then.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

he had a pornographic memory.

So do I


You know, I haven't told any stories that involve myself and I've got plenty of cringe build up over the years. The thing I look back on the fondest is the 4th and 5th grade, when I had a friend group so autistic that I probably contracted it second-hand. One person was my dear friend Squeaky (as I'll call her) who've I've discussed here before. Squeaky was how I imagine young Chris Chan, and her main interests were Pokemon and acting out elaborate plays with eraser heads in her desk. It was actually very impressive. Her boyfriend was a guy I'll call Autistic James Bond. I could write a whole post just about him, but I'll just describe him by saying my mom thought he looked like a future school shooter. Anyway, I think Die Another Day had just come out and being a spy was like, totally cool man. The scholastic book fair had all these totally awesome and Very Legit spy gagets you could buy along with books about spy history. We were all over that shit and with our newly aquired spy technology and knowlege we decided to become spies ourselves. Autistic James Bond declared ourselves the ESF, which initially didn't stand for anything he just thought it sounded cool. I helpfully suggested that it stand for the Elite Spy League and with that we were ready for action. I was really into the whole business, coming up with cyphers to use in secret messages that we'd leave in film canisters in a specific part of the playground. 'Tism Bond was more of a "elaborate plan of action involving running around the playground in highly strategic patterns" kind of spy, so most of our ESF meetings were he and I arguing while Squeaky ate grass and pretended to talk to Pikachu.

Did I mention the ESF mission statement was to "defeat bullies"? It worked. We were so ridiculous that bullies picked on us and ignored the other kids. Galaxy brain shit right there. Unfortunatly I did let the main enemy of the ESF join in. Think Mary Goodnight allowing Francisco Scaramanga to join the British Secret Service becasue he let her use his crayons. Funny thing was he was the only bully that the ESF could ever reasonably claim to have defeated. Think Francisco Scaramanga, having now joined the British Secret Service, telling Mary Goodnight that he wanted to kill The Queen becasue she told him to put his head down when he was talking instead of doing fractions. I actually didn't even like the teacher he was complaining about, but 9 year old me found the statement of wanting to kill a teacher upsetting enough that I told my own teacher. That lead to the prinicpal getting involved and that one kid never being seen again. Good riddance, cause he was an asshole. Nice crayons though.

 

[Swagstika]

This girl in my class from grade 1-7 would blatantly masturbate on the edges of the teachers desk

 

[Jason Wynn]

Used to know a kid in elementary school who could fart on command. We'd egg him on to do it when the teacher was talking. Eight year old us thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Also knew a kid named Jimmy back then who would fly into a complete tard rage if someone called him Jimbo Bimbo. Another kid if he got mad at you would insult you by calling you a Ninja Turtle.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

We had this Croat kid in high school, who may have been a bit autistic looking back at it, who was obsessed by both Josip Broz Tito and Nazis. He was the butt of many jokes obviously. Sometimes when he'd arrive at class in the mornings he'd mimic machinegunning everyone down. We made fun of that, but sometimes I'd semi-jokingly ask him to spare me if he decides to shoot up the joint.

As told by the one guy who went to the same elementary school as Croat kid, he'd finally give in to his urges one day and sneak into an abandoned factory building to do some Hitler salutes, only to become wracked by guilt in the coming days so he went to a police station to turn himself in, only to be laughed out of there by the cops.

 

[AnOminous]

Another kid if he got mad at you would insult you by calling you a Ninja Turtle.

How is that even an insult?

 

[DrJonesHat]

When I was in elementary school, I was the first kid in my grade to get a 1st Generation Dinobot Transformer (this was in the 80s). I was hot shit for a little bit.
When I was in middle school, I made computer games, including one where you're in an attack helicopter and you blew up our school. Yeah, got called into the councilor's office for that. I used a game maker program titled, oddly enough, Game Maker. I didn't get in trouble, because this was in the day before everyone freaked out about school shootings. They just figured I hated school (they were correct).
In high school, I ran a "school sucks" BBS (look it up). I never got caught.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

i had a classmate in grade school, a fat girl who was a bit slow but nice too everyone and people liked her well enough. she loved flowers and would even make crowns with some of them and give it too people. sadly, she was in poor heath and would get seizure attacks regularly and forced to take meds that always made her tired. one night she had such a big seizure attack she was put in the hospital for a few days too check on her. after she was released, she and her dad went to buy some hotdogs and she had another seizure attack. sadly this time, she never recovered and had to turn off the life support. this was the first time i had someone i personally knew die and it shocked me that someone so young and kind could still be just taken away. the teachers went to her funereal and showed the class her photos. she wear a white dress. one night, i had a dream about her. we met at the school ground. she wear the same white dress while having a flower crown over her head and holding a bouquet of flowers. if i believed in god, i would think this was her saying goodbye but i dont believe that shit.

 

[bigoogabaloogas]

Seniors fucked up the vending machines at my school during my sophomore year. Didn't know how they did it, but apparently power tools or superglue were involved. Junior year was when someone got held back because they dug out a sapling from one of the fields out back and planted at the quad.

 

[Marceline]

I remember throwing a piece of paper at another girl’s desk in class when I was 6 or so. I got detention and had to write her a letter where all I said was

I AM SORRY I DID IT. I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN. I KNOW I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO DO IT. I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN.

and it went on like that about four more times.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I remember throwing a piece of paper at another girl’s desk in class when I was 6 or so. I got detention and had to write her a letter where all I said was

I AM SORRY I DID IT. I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN. I KNOW I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO DO IT. I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN.

and it went on like that about four more times.

Did you do it again?

 

[Marceline]

Did you do it again?

I did not do it again.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I used to cut this one class so much when I finally came one day the teacher thought I moved

My American Literature featured a classmate I'll call "Sam."

Because my school and state (at the time) were lax on underage smoking, it was permitted so long as it was done in an unofficially-designated space outdoors between the kitchen and Home Ec classrooms that was commonly known as the Burnout Section. Sam was a frequent visitor of the Burnout Section throughout his career, and he tended to visit it regularly instead of attending American Lit.

Our teacher was such a dingbat that when she'd ask him where he was the next day, he'd tell her "Oh, I had to go to the Attendance Office," and she'd accept it at face value and erase his absence from the previous day out of her class log. This happened countless times during the semester and it slowly became a recurring gag of sorts.

Eventually, the teacher wised up. One day, she surprisingly responded to his, "I was at the attendance office," reply (when everyone knew he had spent most if not all the class period in the burnout section) with a demand to see a pass. After that, Sam finally chose to come to class daily. Anyone who didn't know what was going on for most of the semester might have thought he was a new student.

The twist: Sam, despite his tendency to cut classes and smoke instead, apparently was smarter than he preferred to let on. In American Lit, he could have had an easy A had he not skipped out when we had most of our graded assignments. Later as seniors, I learned he was in the Physics class that met before my section of Physics -- a class that required a requisite amount of intelligence in order to get any sort of passing grade. I'm not sure if he was bored easily by classes that didn't challenge him enough or just preferred to put the most effort in certain classes over others. Either way, it was interesting to see because most of the people that frequently spent time in the burnout section were the type to avoid any sort of challenging class and Sam appeared to be the exception.
(E: Add missing parenthesis)

 

[Kari Kamiya]

For many years, I didn't like holding up my arms above my head because my first grade teacher (who was pregnant at the time) mentioned to some students during an off period about her getting a shot on her armpit the previous day and showed off the band-aid. Being an imaginative kid, as well as being really ticklish, thinking about how it had to have felt freaked me out. After that, I stopped wearing tank tops/really short-sleeved shirts because I had it in my head that if my armpits weren't exposed, no one would poke me with needles there.

Now that I think about it, that might've contributed to my being terrible at P.E., especially with the pull-ups, although I struggled with it regardless, so meh.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

In I think 4th grade of elementary school, we went on a .. school retreat? Don't know the English term for this. Anyway, I'm in a room with 3 other friends and all is swanky. One guy's mother is also on the retreat as a teacher's help. One morning I wake up to see that guy naked and sobbing, standing near his bed, and covered in shit. Like from about his chest down to his toes he's smeared in shit, his bed is a giant nest of shit. Liquid shit puddles on the ground. My thought was - this is it, the very apex of humiliation, nothing can be worse. The door opened and his mother came in, "Tommy, come take this suppository". Big oof.
You know kids are cruel, and I thought he'll never live this down, but somehow we showed restraint and he survived 5 more years mostly unteased.

 

[Rob_Mercury]

In my last year of high school I saw a freshman Naruto-running on his socks with a headband on.

 

[MathildaLeon]

My American Literature featured a classmate I'll call "Sam."

Because my school and state (at the time) were lax on underage smoking, it was permitted so long as it was done in an unofficially-designated space outdoors between the kitchen and Home Ec classrooms that was commonly known as the Burnout Section. Sam was a frequent visitor of the Burnout Section throughout his career, and he tended to visit it regularly instead of attending American Lit.

Our teacher was such a dingbat that when she'd ask him where he was the next day, he'd tell her "Oh, I had to go to the Attendance Office," and she'd accept it at face value and erase his absence from the previous day out of her class log. This happened countless times during the semester and it slowly became a recurring gag of sorts.

Eventually, the teacher wised up. One day, she surprisingly responded to his, "I was at the attendance office," reply (when everyone knew he had spent most if not all the class period in the burnout section with a demand to see a pass. After that, Sam finally chose to come to class daily. Anyone who didn't know what was going on for most of the semester might have thought he was a new student.

The twist: Sam, despite his tendency to cut classes and smoke instead, apparently was smarter than he preferred to let on. In American Lit, he could have had an easy A had he not skipped out when we had most of our graded assignments. Later as seniors, I learned he was in the Physics class that met before my section of Physics -- a class that required a requisite amount of intelligence in order to get any sort of passing grade. I'm not sure if he was bored easily by classes that didn't challenge him enough or just preferred to put the most effort in certain classes over others. Either way, it was interesting to see because most of the people that frequently spent time in the burnout section were the type to avoid any sort of challenging class and Sam appeared to be the exception.

Ha! Yeah I think my class was like geography or something relatively easy for me. I think back on it and I'm like "why would you do that?" It was a bad year for me at the time. Just one of those things that you don't think about until you're older.