Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

To literally nobody's surprise, Lucas gave up posting exclusively to Patreon due to lack of interest.
What does he blame?
Not having a girlfriend, of course, how silly of me.
"Just think if we sold one copy of Cafeteria Uprising. Just think if you were my girlfriend at the time that this occurrrrrrrred. OCCURR-R-R-R-R-R [video ends]"
Ok psycho.

If you had to pick 3 vids to show so.eone that had never heard of Lucas, preferably ones less than 5min each, which would they be?

Try any of his "board game unboxing" videos for an example of how he can't focus on anything and just rants about himself instead.
They're some of the worst unboxing videos ever, even worse than DarkSydePhil failing to unbox Final Fantasy Lightning Returns while a fire alarm is going off.

 

[ManbearPig]

If you had to pick 3 vids to show so.eone that had never heard of Lucas, preferably ones less than 5min each, which would they be? I'd like to think one of them is the "RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW" vid, and something that rides Sanders' dick.

Here's a classic lucas video

Listen to that fart in the beginning

 

[Particle Bored]

Try any of his "board game unboxing" videos for an example of how he can't focus on anything and just rants about himself instead.
They're some of the worst unboxing videos ever, even worse than DarkSydePhil failing to unbox Final Fantasy Lightning Returns while a fire alarm is going off.

Yeah but there's so many of those and there's a wide spectrum of how crazy his off-topic tangents get. I want the primo shit but I'm lazy.

Heress


Listen to that fart in the beginning

Men Over 35 Are Better People

Lowers your risk of cancer, depression, anger to hook up with men over 35. Conversation Our Age conversationrage.weebly.com

m.youtube.com

I do want a good telomerase exposition, but this one's a bit long and the audio is shit.

Maybe I'll flip through his channel later on my PC, but im just dicking on my phone and wanted to see what others come up with.

PS: is there a way to search for all images (screencaps) within a specific thread?

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

There's an interesting quote in this video (timestamped 5:23)
"That's why I do this. I do this because it's my dream to be able to be who I am and talk any girl out of any boyfriend in the world. Because that's better than anything else."
So it's not just about asserting power over women, it has to be about stealing women away from other men.
Not sure what to make of that, but my first impression is that it's pretty gay.
He also hates comments, calling people narcissists and saying "they should kill themselves".
Awww shucks Lucas, thanks for doing the exact same thing you say you hate Kiwifarms for doing, welcome to the family.

 

[wenttobermuda]

There's an interesting quote in this video (timestamped 5:23)
"That's why I do this. I do this because it's my dream to be able to be who I am and talk any girl out of any boyfriend in the world. Because that's better than anything else."
So it's not just about asserting power over women, it has to be about stealing women away from other men.
Not sure what to make of that, but my first impression is that it's pretty gay.

Interesting development. I supported the theory that Wern's Love Quest was driven by his reptilian brain providing his thoughts. Assumed Wern was fundamentally a semi conscious male animal in the grip of his instincts to eat and breed, and not too subtle about it. I imagined his inner monologue to be: EAT. FIND MATE, MATE, His mating call is blather about his magic jizz.

But between this video, and his threats to potential friends that he will try to "steal" their girlfriends and that's cool, he's a bit more complex. In addition to being a cretinous eating and jizzing monkey, he's very into status signaling to other men. So he's aware of dominance, in addition to eating and breeding. Revised inner monologue: EAT, MATE. TAKE RIVALS MATE, THEN MATE.

 

[Big Nasty]

Lucas: Go Out And Eat Something Explosive.

 

[ManbearPig]

Lucas: Go Out And Eat Something Explosive.

Now that's just not fair to other patrons of whatever that fine establishment may be, because eating something explosive means he will fart up the place.

 

[Wernology]

There's an interesting quote in this video (timestamped 5:23)
"That's why I do this. I do this because it's my dream to be able to be who I am and talk any girl out of any boyfriend in the world. Because that's better than anything else."
So it's not just about asserting power over women, it has to be about stealing women away from other men.
Not sure what to make of that, but my first impression is that it's pretty gay.
He also hates comments, calling people narcissists and saying "they should kill themselves".
Awww shucks Lucas, thanks for doing the exact same thing you say you hate Kiwifarms for doing, welcome to the family.

I'd honestly love to see him try to talk anyone into leaving their partner for him just to see if they ended up laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. If he tried it with my girlfriend, I'D be laughing so hard I wouldn't even have time to try and be annoyed with the idea that some overweight, unmedicated, greasy looking, creepy welfare Hutt thought he'd be more desirable to anyone. Let's be honest here, if someone would leave their boyfriend for him and he's the better option, what the fuck kind of bridge troll was the boyfriend he talked her out of?

And what the actual hell is up with that drink recipe he's going to make, because it sounds foul.
Chocolate champagne, Kahlúa, and Jäger.
The fact that he thinks that's a great idea is more proof of no god than him not having a girlfriend and being poor.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

Lucas can't get a date with even the most desperate single women. There's no way in hell he could "steal" someone else's girlfriend. I wonder what it's like in his head. The level of delusion he has is pretty strong. To reject the reality that's right in his face he must be living on another plane of existence.

 

[Wernology]

Lucas can't get a date with even the most desperate single women. There's no way in hell he could "steal" someone else's girlfriend. I wonder what it's like in his head. The level of delusion he has is pretty strong. To reject the reality that's right in his face he must be living on another plane of existence.

It's like this, only instead of being creepy and weird, it's seductive and sexy in his head.

 

[Particle Bored]

[

There's an interesting quote in this video (timestamped 5:23)
"That's why I do this. I do this because it's my dream to be able to be who I am and talk any girl out of any boyfriend in the world. Because that's better than anything else."
So it's not just about asserting power over women, it has to be about stealing women away from other men.
Not sure what to make of that, but my first impression is that it's pretty gay.
He also hates comments, calling people narcissists and saying "they should kill themselves".
Awww shucks Lucas, thanks for doing the exact same thing you say you hate Kiwifarms for doing, welcome to the family.

All the actual Christians Lucas interacts with: "Here's some free food! Have a blessed day!"

All the "Christians" Lucas invents in his head: "Hahaha die in a gutter nigger incel faggot!"

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I had forgotten about him because he's not been relevant for a long time, but Shoenice is the other major homeless cow who tried to monetise their grossness. He had much more success, despite being a crippling alcoholic, and could also date women/live in normal houses. Lucas is less desirable and stupider than Shoenice, whoa boy.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

he must be living on another plane of existence.

I watched more of his dumb videos and he still says he thinks women should be able to compete in the NFL, and anybody who disagrees with him must be a misogynist.
For all of Lucas's preaching against Christianity, his belief this would work is more illogical and insane than just about anything written in scripture.
The amount of insurance needed before she'd be allowed to walk onto the field would bankrupt the entire League, for one thing.
It makes more sense to assume Lucas just wants more women to suffer traumatic brain injuries instead of assuming he's trying to promote female empowerment, like those creeps with a female boxing fetish.
Plus the fact that for any woman to want to date Lucas, her brains would have to be leaking out of her nostrils.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I'd honestly love to see him try to talk anyone into leaving their partner for him just to see if they ended up laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. If he tried it with my girlfriend, I'D be laughing so hard I wouldn't even have time to try and be annoyed with the idea that some overweight, unmedicated, greasy looking, creepy welfare Hutt thought he'd be more desirable to anyone. Let's be honest here, if someone would leave their boyfriend for him and he's the better option, what the fuck kind of bridge troll was the boyfriend he talked her out of?

And what the actual hell is up with that drink recipe he's going to make, because it sounds foul.
Chocolate champagne, Kahlúa, and Jäger.
The fact that he thinks that's a great idea is more proof of no god than him not having a girlfriend and being poor.

Lucas has shit taste. He'll rot his teeth with all that liqueur.

He definitely has a taste for booze though. Kinda a surprise for someone who can't even handle coffee.

When Lucas is a crazy ranting street wino his evolution will be complete. Shit, he's already 2/3 of the way there.

Edit: Please, some autist with too much free time, let Patreon know about fuckin MRSA Theresa over here. Get that shit axed.

 

[mothman96]

Interesting development. I supported the theory that Wern's Love Quest was driven by his reptilian brain providing his thoughts. Assumed Wern was fundamentally a semi conscious male animal in the grip of his instincts to eat and breed, and not too subtle about it. I imagined his inner monologue to be: EAT. FIND MATE, MATE, His mating call is blather about his magic jizz.

But between this video, and his threats to potential friends that he will try to "steal" their girlfriends and that's cool, he's a bit more complex. In addition to being a cretinous eating and jizzing monkey, he's very into status signaling to other men. So he's aware of dominance, in addition to eating and breeding. Revised inner monologue: EAT, MATE. TAKE RIVALS MATE, THEN MATE.

He's been aware of dominance for some time. Remember he considers himself a silver back gorilla, the dominant male in the group and gets the pick of the females. Reality is he'd still be bottom of the barrel in the group, likely driven out and left to fend for itself or die.

 

[AmpleApricots]

Being alcoholic with the 'beetus is a quick recipe to the grave. These things don't mix. He looks pretty much permanently dehydrated and it's pretty telling if you can tell by just seeing him for a minute here and there. He must be in awful shape. I'm seriously curious how old the sore on his face at this point is and how many more he has, as random skin infections are pretty much a telltale sign of untreated diabetes. Anyone know if he ever complained about his vision in some way or made the appearance that he doesn't see well? Anyone knows if he has trouble with indigestion? It was also kinda telling that he pisses in his sink, I bet he needs to piss all the time (untreated diabetes again) and the lazy pig he is doesn't feel like going to the community toilet "just for this" when it's so often.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I am loathe to defend Lucas on anything but I don't think he's alcoholic. He's so transparent with his interests, and he acted like an excitable child when he finished that brandy over a weekend, as though it was exciting and unusual. He also claimed he'd get better alcohol "next month". He definitely splurges on his welfare immediately, then rides it out until the next month. He's also overspent on drinks at restaurants in pursuit of his IRL relations, which a drunk of limited income would never do as it's so cost-inefficient.

 

[Wernology]

I am loathe to defend Lucas on anything but I don't think he's alcoholic. He's so transparent with his interests, and he acted like an excitable child when he finished that brandy over a weekend, as though it was exciting and unusual. He also claimed he'd get better alcohol "next month". He definitely splurges on his welfare immediately, then rides it out until the next month. He's also overspent on drinks at restaurants in pursuit of his IRL relations, which a drunk of limited income would never do as it's so cost-inefficient.

When he does drink he seems to burn through whatever he gets pretty fast.

A bottle of brandy the size he's put on video would last most people, if they were the only one drinking it, a week or longer (for me, probably a month) and he powers through it in a day or two.

Might be a binge drinker when he can get it but probably not an alcoholic.

I'm not sure if the stream recording is still up or if it was the one where he went on for about 20 minutes about how hot Greta Thunberg is and how he'd like to marry her (once she turns 18 of course ) but on one of them he went through multiple empty containers from dispensaries that he'd had that month alone and even for a legal state that guy smokes more weed in a month than most people who aren't MMJ patients do in a year.

If he's not blowing his government check on bottom shelf booze it seems to be going to weed and if he does have money for food he's throwing taco bell at the homeless while they sleep, then using shelters and churches that provide free meals as an all you can eat buffet.

Even if his dropping cheap food presents near the sleeping homeless wasn't obvious desperate flailing to try and prove that he's a good guy and women should totally fuck him, and even if it's legal for him to use his EBT card that way, it kind of cancels the good deed aspect when he:

A) Only does it so he can brag about it in nearly every video he posts.

B) Offsets it by taking resources from the homeless by sliding into the soup kitchens for free food when he could afford to buy food for himself if he weren't desperately trying to somehow prove that giving a fuckton of taco bell to random sleeping homeless people makes him Atheist-Anti-Theist-Jesus or whatever.

Buddy, since we all know you lurk here, if you have to repeatedly tell people you're a good, kind, generous person, you aren't.

 

[Da Dude123]

Personally, I am not sure he is really giving this food to the homeless. We know for a while he was leaving food trying to attract women with his notes. And the video where he left the Thanksgiving leftovers next to some sleeping hobo, I would not put it past him to pick it back up after he stopped recording and head back to the hovel to finish the food himself. And of course, he has no shame in eating at homeless shelters.

For being on a tugboat and food stamps Lucas seems to find money to eat at Red Robin and Sushi.com often. And of course his weed and cheap boose purchases. Lucas truly is the poster child for people who would love to eliminate welfare.

When he does drink he seems to burn through whatever he gets pretty fast.

A bottle of brandy the size he's put on video would last most people, if they were the only one drinking it, a week or longer (for me, probably a month) and he powers through it in a day or two.

Might be a binge drinker when he can get it but probably not an alcoholic.

I'm not sure if the stream recording is still up or if it was the one where he went on for about 20 minutes about how hot Greta Thunberg is and how he'd like to marry her (once she turns 18 of course ) but on one of them he went through multiple empty containers from dispensaries that he'd had that month alone and even for a legal state that guy smokes more weed in a month than most people who aren't MMJ patients do in a year.

If he's not blowing his government check on bottom shelf booze it seems to be going to weed and if he does have money for food he's throwing taco bell at the homeless while they sleep, then using shelters and churches that provide free meals as an all you can eat buffet.

Even if his dropping cheap food presents near the sleeping homeless wasn't obvious desperate flailing to try and prove that he's a good guy and women should totally fuck him, and even if it's legal for him to use his EBT card that way, it kind of cancels the good deed aspect when he:

A) Only does it so he can brag about it in nearly every video he posts.

B) Offsets it by taking resources from the homeless by sliding into the soup kitchens for free food when he could afford to buy food for himself if he weren't desperately trying to somehow prove that giving a fuckton of taco bell to random sleeping homeless people makes him Atheist-Anti-Theist-Jesus or whatever.

Buddy, since we all know you lurk here, if you have to repeatedly tell people you're a good, kind, generous person, you aren't.

 

[Wernology]

That was so, so, so fucking creepy when he was giving homeless women "gifts" with his social media and asking them to dinner.

I wouldn't put it past him to have gone back and pick the leftovers back up to take home.

It really bugs me that he blows his EBT and other money on things that aren't food for himself then has no shame about going to shelters to pig out. I know it's not technically welfare fraud or illegal or any of that but it's such gross behavior and it's exactly the kind of thing, as you mentioned, that people who want to eliminate welfare would cite as one of their reasons: Some greasy creep blowing his taxpayer funded check & EBT card on weed, booze, and constantly eating out until he runs out of money mid-month and ends up going to shelters to eat instead.

He really needs a case worker managing his money for him. They don't even let him live in a big boy apartment for fuck's sake, why does anyone trust him to manage his own money responsibly?

Personally, I am not sure he is really giving this food to the homeless. We know for a while he was leaving food trying to attract women with his notes. And the video where he left the Thanksgiving leftovers next to some sleeping hobo, I would not put it past him to pick it back up after he stopped recording and hear back to the hovel to finish the food himself. And of course, he has no shame in eating at homeless shelters.

For being on a tugboat and food stamps Lucas seems to find money to eat at Red Robin and Sushi.com often. And of course his weed and cheap boose purchases. Lucas truly is the poster child for people who would love to eliminate welfare.