حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Yog-Spergoth]

Babby is formed when you take mushroom soup, an onion, a gopher, and a tennis racquet and put them in a trash can overnight.

My parents always told me it was the birds and the bees. You see, birds build nests and plan for the long term future, and bees sort-of fly around looking for flowers to pollinate.

I don't remember the rest of it. I think they fuck in the end or something.

 

[Dr. Meme]

My parents always told me it was the birds and the bees. You see, birds build nests and plan for the long term future, and bees sort-of fly around looking for flowers to pollinate.

I don't remember the rest of it. I think they fuck in the end or something.

>Thinking about hot bee on bird action

No furries allowed

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Connor, I'm tired. Write me a bedtime story

"Reconfiguring Dr. Meme" by Connor Bible

But it's TOO HARD to write and he helped his grandma! Surely that's enough!

I love this thread.

 

[Cosmos]

Off topic, but @Smutley-sensei and @BOLDYSPICY!-senpai have followed me because of this thread. Thank you, Connor, you've done good

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Okay, Kiwis, I'm gonna draw more @Connor stuff in a sec, but first there's something I need to get off my chest.

Spoiler: *eyebrow waggle*

I feel kinda bad calling Connor Fatty Ding-Dongs, even though it's adorable & I love @Chanbob for coining it. I also feel guilty drawing him, well. . .heavy. Especially because I'm a head shorter & seven stone heavier than he is. However, I do try to stay as close to my body type as possible when I draw myself, too.

Spoiler: post-breakdown BOLDYSPICY! at work this morning

Spoiler: pre-breakdown BOLDYSPICY! at work a couple years ago

*ahem*

Dear Fatty Ding-Dongs,
I make fun of you for a lot of things, but I promise your weight isn't one of them. I may be a cunt, but I at least try not to be a hypocrite.
Love,
Fatty-Fatty Chicken Wing

EDIT: Fuck, I just realized I'm a lot paler than I used to be, & I keep coloring my skin the same tone as pre-breakdown-BOLDYSPICY!-who-actually-spent-time-outside-in-sunlight. Ah, well.

 

[Conrix]

I decided to come clean with @Connor here because he seems to be significantly improving his game, and apologize for calling him Fatty Ding-Dongs when I'm a little pudgy myself. After a recent journey into some rather lucid concepts, I've come to realize that self-awareness and action are what seperate decently functioning autists from lolcows, and if Connor is truly willing and working to take the path to recovery, then I should give some support rather than just calling him a lazy turd.

Spoiler: link to Fatty McNirxshit

https://www.dropbox.com/s/khxbjaiubtvk4ho/20150225_155043.jpg?dl=0

Also to be fair, I'm also depressed but I do try to keep myself going and think what I'm going to say through rather than letting myself stagnate by saying what I want to do all the time without showing results. I said I was going to make a Connor Bible Simulator at one point and scrapped it while all it was was just a nifty looking desk where you just do nothing. That decision was for mercy rather than laziness on my part.

Spoiler

 

[Pikonic]

We now return to…
Connor doing a thing a day to improve his life. (Working title)

Day 1: Resume (admittedly hardly anything)
Day 2: Shopping (so nothing)
Day 3: Nothing

WHAT WILL DAY 4 BRING US? STAY TUNED, SAME SPERG TIME, SAME SPERG CHANNEL!

 

[MysticMisty]

WHAT WILL DAY 4 BRING US?

Multiple masturbation sessions and if he shows his face, a major bitchfest.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I decided to come clean with @Connor here because he seems to be significantly improving his game, and apologize for calling him Fatty Ding-Dongs when I'm a little pudgy myself. After a recent journey into some rather lucid concepts, I've come to realize that self-awareness and action are what seperate decently functioning autists from lolcows, and if Connor is truly willing and working to take the path to recovery, then I should give some support rather than just calling him a lazy turd.

Spoiler: link to Fatty McNirxshit

https://www.dropbox.com/s/khxbjaiubtvk4ho/20150225_155043.jpg?dl=0

Also to be fair, I'm also depressed but I do try to keep myself going and think what I'm going to say through rather than letting myself stagnate by saying what I want to do all the time without showing results. I said I was going to make a Connor Bible Simulator at one point and scrapped it while all it was was just a nifty looking desk where you just do nothing. That decision was for mercy rather than laziness on my part.

Spoiler

oh God did I start a thing? I didn't mean to start a thing. I was just trying to clear my conscience a little, & specify that I don't hate Connor because of his appearance. I don't hate him at all, really. I simply want him to know that I don't think I'm better than he is (though I doubt he'll read this; I'm pretty sure he doesn't read any of my posts unless I insult him outright).

However.

I am still going to quietly mock him from my little corner of the internet, I'm still going to snort in derision when he posts about totes improving himself for cereals u guise, & I am still going to make snarky drawings of him & call him out on his bullshit.

We now return to…
Connor doing a thing a day to improve his life. (Working title)

Day 1: Resume (admittedly hardly anything)
Day 2: Shopping (so nothing)
Day 3: Nothing

WHAT WILL DAY 4 BRING US? STAY TUNED, SAME SPERG TIME, SAME SPERG CHANNEL!

Goddammit, Fatty Ding-Dongs better show up soon, or Fatty-Fatty Chicken Wing will not be a happy camper.

Spoiler

also I think "Fatty-Fatty Chicken Wing" is kind of cute, actually, but that's probably just me being autistic

Here's my theory---he may show up tomorrow morning. Here in Alabama, we have four inches of snow on the ground & counting. This is nothing to me, because I hail from up North. All it takes is a dusting for the entire state to declare a state of emergency & shut down. So, because we got this much, & North Carolina got hit fairly hard, too, I imagine Connor's got snow in his neck of the woods. Despite not being Deep South, SC, NC, & VA all freak out when they get an inch of snow, too.
TL;DR Connor likely doesn't have school tomorrow.

 

[Conrix]

oh God did I start a thing? I didn't mean to start a thing. I was just trying to clear my conscience a little, & specify that I don't hate Connor because of his appearance. I don't hate him at all, really. I simply want him to know that I don't think I'm better than he is (though I doubt he'll read this; I'm pretty sure he doesn't read any of my posts unless I insult him outright).

However.

I am still going to quietly mock him from my little corner of the internet, I'm still going to snort in derision when he posts about totes improving himself for cereals u guise, & I am still going to make snarky drawings of him & call him out on his bullshit.

I posted that for the exact same reason actually. I felt bad for being a massive dick to him in his thread and wanted to come clean.

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

Goddammit, Fatty Ding-Dongs better show up soon, or Fatty-Fatty Chicken Wing will not be a happy camper.

Spoiler

also I think "Fatty-Fatty Chicken Wing" is kind of cute, actually, but that's probably just me being autistic

Here's my theory---he may show up tomorrow morning. Here in Alabama, we have four inches of snow on the ground & counting. This is nothing to me, because I hail from up North. All it takes is a dusting for the entire state to declare a state of emergency & shut down. So, because we got this much, & North Carolina got hit fairly hard, too, I imagine Connor's got snow in his neck of the woods. Despite not being Deep South, SC, NC, & VA all freak out when they get an inch of snow, too.
TL;DR Connor likely doesn't have school tomorrow.

Haha, yes. I lived in Huntsville for years before I moved to Noo Yawk. The general attitude toward snow in the South is: There is two inches of snow coming! Protect your valuables! Hoarde food and water! Say goodbye to your children, pets, and the elderly for they will not survive the white death that is coming!

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Huntsville

I spent too long in the Rocket City myself.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Here's my theory---he may show up tomorrow morning. Here in Alabama, we have four inches of snow on the ground & counting. This is nothing to me, because I hail from up North. All it takes is a dusting for the entire state to declare a state of emergency & shut down. So, because we got this much, & North Carolina got hit fairly hard, too, I imagine Connor's got snow in his neck of the woods. Despite not being Deep South, SC, NC, & VA all freak out when they get an inch of snow, too.
TL;DR Connor likely doesn't have school tomorrow.

Haha, yes. I lived in Huntsville for years before I moved to Noo Yawk. The general attitude toward snow in the South is: There is two inches of snow coming! Protect your valuables! Hoarde food and water! Say goodbye to your children, pets, and the elderly for they will not survive the white death that is coming!

I live way south of that, where it very rarely snows, and it's like "???????? WAT DO???" (In fact, while north of where I live was getting snow we got rain.)
I remember back in elementary school (or was it middle school?) we had school canceled because of the possibility of snow and it wound up barely dusting the ground.

But to be on-topic, I rather hope he comes back and tells us what he's done. I'm not exactly holding out the hope he'll do something truly substantial, however.

 

[The Knife]

I'm in Alabama and am currently surrounded by almost an inch of what, according to the weather reports, is either acid or arsenic. Either way, it seems dangerous to set foot in it. I have literally nothing to do but see what surprises Connor can bring us all.

 

[Shiala]

I think the last time my city shut down because of snow was about 15-ish years ago and that was because the snow reached higher than my head. Good times...

As for Connor, I'm really hoping to see some progress with him but I'm not really holding my breath. Even with writing exercises where he's partnered up he insists on holding a narrative to his own devices without accepting a fluent change. Shouldn't Connor be saying "Yes, and..." accepting the sad parts or whatever's going on instead of going "No, because.."

 

[Smutley]

Haha, yes. I lived in Huntsville for years before I moved to Noo Yawk. The general attitude toward snow in the South is: There is two inches of snow coming! Protect your valuables! Hoarde food and water! Say goodbye to your children, pets, and the elderly for they will not survive the white death that is coming!

You better buy all the bread, milk, and bleach you can bitch, that's the only thing to get you through a southern snow storm.

 

[Silver]

I'm in southern NC, getting dumped on by some big-ass snowflakes now, and all the school systems and universities are already canceling for tomorrow. Weather.com indicates Connor's getting heavy rain but not snow, though.

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

You better buy all the bread, milk, and bleach you can bitch, that's the only thing to get you through a southern snow storm.

Haha, southern snowstorms are a really good excuse to hoarde whiskey.

I guess back on topic, it would be nice to see if Connor got anything done in his self-improvement quest, but I think I'm bothered by what the answer is probably going to be.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I posted that for the exact same reason actually. I felt bad for being a massive dick to him in his thread and wanted to come clean.

I'm not sorry for most of what I've said to him, honestly. Because he needs to stop acting like an entitled little shit. Of all his problems, his attitude's the biggest one, I think.

As for Connor, I'm really hoping to see some progress with him but I'm not really holding my breath. Even with writing exercises where he's partnered up he insists on holding a narrative to his own devices without accepting a fluent change. Shouldn't Connor be saying "Yes, and..." accepting the sad parts or whatever's going on instead of going "No, because.."

Gah, that bothers me so much. Just like acting, collaborative writing is all about saying yes. Conflict is what makes for good fiction, as @BriarHeart so aptly put. If you just have the happy story with the happy characters & nothing bad ever happens ever, nobody's gonna read that shit because it's fucking boring.

I'm in southern NC, getting dumped on by some big-ass snowflakes now, and all the school systems and universities are already canceling for tomorrow. Weather.com indicates Connor's getting heavy rain but not snow, though.

Good to know, thanks, Alti. Well, whatever. When Connor does eventually get back here, I want him to know

Spoiler: that we are all

 

[Meowthkip]

But that's all of writing, innit? Take characters you love and make terrible things happen to them. Without conflict, there's no growth and, ultimately, no story. The Odyssey would be reduced to "After the Trojan War, Odysseus got on a boat and sailed home, where he was reunited with his loving family, something something rosy-fingered dawn." And that's terrible.

I know! That's exactly what writing is. I just happen to be... harder on the characters in my stories than my peers.

Connor is too attached to his characters. In Redesigning Eva, there was not much as far as conflict went. Teachers were mean to Eva. So were school kids. She gets knocked out by an apple like Snow White. For some reason the doctor treating her is a serial killer without depth perception. There's a gorilla for no reason.

In regards to himself especially, Connor seems averse to putting his self-insert through any kind of conflict that isn't highly romanticized (assassination attempt by a shady cabal of people working for a New World Order because he's that much of a threat or something) or just self-pity (people on the Kiwi Farms are make fun of me so I'm gonna write about that and my mom being a bitch for no reason). He pretty much stopped responding to our Round Robin when I had him fall into a ditch. No response since.

Probably went to masturbate to bellybutton porn.

Also wow there's a lot of southern people in this thread. I'm in the southern-most part of the North East and welcome to winters with snow.