Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Takayuki Yagami]

I guess you could say.... "Its time to let old things die".

That’s actually one of the things that annoys me the most about The Last Jedi. Kylo having a moment of clarity and realizing how fucked all this was, even if only slightly, and taking things to a different place was a good idea. Unfortunately, TLJ fucked everything else up so bad that I wouldn’t even blink if Mike from RLM is right and they try to fix it with time travel.

 

[Dom Cruise]

That’s actually one of things that annoys me the most about The Last Jedi. Kylo having a moment of clarity and realizing how fucked all this was, even if only slightly, and taking things to a different place was a good idea. Unfortunately, TLJ fucked everything else up so bad that I wouldn’t even blink if Mike from RLM is right and they try to fix it with time travel.

Have Finn and Rose's mission actually matter (and make Rose less frumpy)
Explain who the fuck Snoke is
Leave Luke on his little island to just chill and fight another day
Have the movie end with the twist and cliff hanger of Rey and Ren joining forces.

There, I just fixed The Last Jedi.

 

[Jewthulhu]

"What if a Storm Trooper wasnt a faceless agent of evil but was human?"

That was the promise....why didnt we get that

The sequel trilogy really should have been about Finn. Imagine a story about an ex-stormtrooper who saved the galaxy despite not being a Jedi. You'd have a progressive "anyone can be a hero" story without stepping on anyone's toes, a main character that could actually have an interesting character arc, and a plot that actually has some real tension to it.

Really anything would be better than what we got.

 

[Ghostse]

Have Finn and Rose's mission actually matter (and make Rose less frumpy)
Explain who the fuck Snoke is
Leave Luke on his little island to just chill and fight another day
Have the movie end with the twist and cliff hanger of Rey and Ren joining forces.

There, I just fixed The Last Jedi.

That would have been a decent twist:
Rey gets Luke to come back and fight for the rebellion resistance, and then goes over to Ren. That'd have been an interesting ending.

Or since they're ripping off Dark Empire for 9, when Rey refuses, Luke accepts to join his Nephew and does it for roughly the same reasons he "defected" in Dark Empire: he knows The Emperor is out there again, and he thinks the Emperor has corrupted both himself and Leia via Anakin, so he wants to keep Rey far away from the Emperor.

You can then have a touching moment where Rey finds the emperor anyway, saves luke from getting force electrocuted in a horribly choreographed fight, and he finally gets to teach the casino planet ophans how to be jedi.

#butwhatifitwasgood

 

[qu_rahn]

Not having Luke in episode 7 at all (ending aside) was an incredible mistake. Imagine having Mark and Harrison and Carrie on hand and not putting them in scenes together. That is the unforgivable sin of this whole trilogy imo - they blew it from the outset

 

[Adamska]

The movie now has an official age rating on IMDB, its PG-13, and in Sweden its PG-11. Captain Sweden also confirms another one of the leaks by posting the obvious.
View attachment 1044215
"It is rated 11. As the film contains a scary scene of a spooky man stealing the souls of people"
This pretty much confirms the leak of nu-Palpatine stealing Kylo Ren's soul and trying to steal Rey's before she mind hacks him and does the same by eating all jedi souls in existence to outpower him.

Also

DAY 8! 8 DAYS LEFT UNTIL PLAN 9: THE FALL OF SKYWALKER!
View attachment 1044218

Ah, so JarJar's ripping a move from Lucas and trying to pivot to a darker tone then, again proving that he's a complete hack who can't do anything but explosions and seizure machines right.

And oh... the leaks are completely real...


I can fucking feel the exogol already when this trainwreck of a film comes out and skullfucks the eyes of all those forced to bear witness to it in its entirety. Absolutely delicious.

The passive aggressive move would be to show up on opening night cosplaying as Snoke (ie wearing nothing but a bathrobe and slippers).

Old senile man screams at film is actually pretty clever, but the Kirk one's better.

Yeah, I accidentally left out that important detail. He's 22.

I think that's the exact plan. There's no holding back once the flames rise. Maybe he will even admit how bad it is...?

Force him to watch a shit film in response at least that you like if the other revenge ideas don't suit your fancy. It's the least he could do for you given what he's forcing you to do, which is to think like him or cut him off the vine.

Hamill has being the original Luke Skywalker. They can't just cancel him out of canon, no matter what he says. Boyega actually had something to lose and did it anyway. Don't tell me you'd just flush your entire career down the toilet lightly for something silly like telling the truth.

My guess is Boyega is starting to think he's not going to be able to get much better than what he had, so he's not as inclined to care anymore about playing nice for fear of getting nothing but crap gigs. Kudos to the honesty, but bad marks because of just how much shit the Rat owns and can blackball you from.

I'm guessing his character is shunted off to the side, possibly even ignored in the next movie. He wanted to be a major and important character, in TFA it was okay, TLJ solidly put him in "comic relief" territory, and in the Plan 9 script he realized he was never going to be allowed to be the equivalent of Han/Luke/Leia tier character.

So I figure the guy has some bitterness.

I don't blame him; Finn had the potential to be a very good character with a strong arc and pathos that guides him. He gets why the First Order came into being, he has friends, brothers even on the other side potentially he must worry about facing. But what happens instead?

He becomes a minstrel show and joke. Only beaten by Binks in intensity, and he had to fight to even get third billing in the new film. What a fucking waste.

Woah nigga are you serious?

Are They Going To Pull The Face Melting Stunt?

disneystarwarsisdumb.wordpress.com

MEMBER LUCAS DID INDIANA JONES?! I MEMBER!

Boyega's character was a real misstep, people thought Jar Jar Binks was bad, here we have a visible black guy (as opposed to a black guy wearing an outfit so that he can be greenscreened with an annoying creature) playing a bumbling clown who might as well have been named something like Sleep 'n' Eat or Dusky Jones. "Aw lawd, naw Mista Poe, I aint's goin' in dat spooky place, I'ms a scairt o' haints!"

At this point, they might as well just had Boyega do his best Whitewash Jones routine.

Seriously, it's amazing how each day that's come out this last half year, Star Wars shits itself just a bit harder; the current brain trusts have that talent at least.

 

[BipolarPon]

The only way finn could of been worst is if he was played by a white guy in blackface. He's one step away from being a racist carirture.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

I forgot when it was airing lol

MEGA

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You earned that l8 but danke schoen m8

Ah, so JarJar's ripping a move from Lucas and trying to pivot to a darker tone then, again proving that he's a complete hack who can't do anything but explosions and seizure machines right.

I remember when Uwe Boll and Michael Bay were the biggest hacks in Hollywood.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

So now I have to wonder: How far past 1000 pages will this thread be before Plan 9 comes out

 

[Reverend]

What scummy thing has Bezos done?

Today or ever?

 

[PseudoScrooge]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHPZcREWP_M

I don' t think anyone's posted this yet...? This is Doomcock's video-before-last, about a source that surfaced regarding the supposed "Lucas Cut."

He says that the rumor is, Lucas supposedly shot 30 extra minutes that made the rest of ROS make sense, and introduced his idea of a "Secret Skywalker." The source tells him that this version has already been tested with audiences, and scored an 88. Also, it was supposedly "rushed" through effects houses where all of the necessary FX work and CGI was completed in 3 months. The source concludes by saying this cut wasn't chosen, in favor of the one we all know about.

So far just about all of the leaks have proven to be true, but in this case, I just don't believe any of this. This is one of those "if it sounds too good to be true" things.

 

[Ghostse]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHPZcREWP_M

I don' t think anyone's posted this yet...? This is Doomcock's video-before-last, about a source that surfaced regarding the supposed "Lucas Cut."

He says that the rumor is, Lucas supposedly shot 30 extra minutes that made the rest of ROS make sense, and introduced his idea of a "Secret Skywalker." The source tells him that this version has already been tested with audiences, and scored an 88. Also, it was supposedly "rushed" through effects houses where all of the necessary FX work and CGI was completed in 3 months. The source concludes by saying this cut wasn't chosen, in favor of the one we all know about.

So far just about all of the leaks have proven to be true, but in this case, I just don't believe any of this. This is one of those "if it sounds too good to be true" things.

With so many leaks and so much fucking up at the top, its wholly possible for a "true leak" to not reflect the final version that will be shown in theaters; even stuff confirmed by the trailers, as we've seen trailer scenes don't always reflect the final movie, so I take anything cautiously.

That said, the "lucas cut" sounds like My Uncle Works at Ninetendo & told me about the secret level in mario

 

[Mola Ram]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHPZcREWP_M

I don' t think anyone's posted this yet...? This is Doomcock's video-before-last, about a source that surfaced regarding the supposed "Lucas Cut."

He says that the rumor is, Lucas supposedly shot 30 extra minutes that made the rest of ROS make sense, and introduced his idea of a "Secret Skywalker." The source tells him that this version has already been tested with audiences, and scored an 88. Also, it was supposedly "rushed" through effects houses where all of the necessary FX work and CGI was completed in 3 months. The source concludes by saying this cut wasn't chosen, in favor of the one we all know about.

So far just about all of the leaks have proven to be true, but in this case, I just don't believe any of this. This is one of those "if it sounds too good to be true" things.

This assumes that Lucas, sometime since apparently taking complete leave of his senses in 1997 or so, miraculously discovered such a talent for screenwriting, editing, and directing in his dotage that he was able to salvage what was already looking to be an atrocious patch job attemtping to fix one of the worst cinematic misfires in genre history. I don't buy that for a second. It's fanwank, and that's it.

(Also, not to piss on the parade, but I cannot stand Doomcock's shtick. His analysis is fun, his commentary is witty, his sources are ... well, okay ... but Jesus, someone convince him to drop the voicechanger, dumbass mask, and throw Harvey Cthulhu into a bonfire, or at least smack him upside the head when he does that squeaky voice.)

 

[verissimus]

Today or ever?

Either.

 

[Adamska]

This assumes that Lucas, sometime since apparently taking complete leave of his senses in 1997 or so, miraculously discovered such a talent for screenwriting, editing, and directing in his dotage that he was able to salvage what was already looking to be an atrocious patch job attemtping to fix one of the worst cinematic misfires in genre history. I don't buy that for a second. It's fanwank, and that's it.

(Also, not to piss on the parade, but I cannot stand Doomcock's shtick. His analysis is fun, his commentary is witty, his sources are ... well, okay ... but Jesus, someone convince him to drop the voicechanger, dumbass mask, and throw Harvey Cthulhu into a bonfire, or at least smack him upside the head when he does that squeaky voice.)

He also got lazier with his production values too; it's mostly either him sitting in that one green screen room or just over a still image or something.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Marvels comics was already getting in trouble since at least 2004 (true it was only partially in trouble but among other problems Bendis wrote Avengers Disassembled which was a precursor for a lot of bad writing, hell they shit on Captain America since 2000, in some case bad writing from the 90's still fuck up comics today and I can go further but i think i made my point.
EA is never forgivable

Marvel been shitting on Captain America ever since they unfroze him in the 60ies.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Where's Ian McDiarmid? ... This is the third time he's been excluded from shit in a weird way I think. Is it because his appearance is so ridiculously brief?

Let's see, as much as Ian plays Palpatine so well that he should get some sort of award or recognition, he's also a white male. We can't have him winning awards if KK is to convince everyone "The Force is female," now can we? (/sarcasm)

Oh God. Imagine the fucking ad campaign for STAR WARS X. That will be something.

It depends.

If somehow SW eventually lands into the hands of someone who knew what they were doing and gave us a film on par with this of the OT, we could have something pretty darned good.

Unfortunately and more realistically, if we were to get an Episode X under Disney, it will likely make Episodes 7-9 look more decent than they were. That's a pretty horrifying thought.

 

[Kane Lives]

Just heard the first few Star Wars ads out on radio and TV. Took them long enough, but the apathy is real, especially compared to both Infinity War and Endgame advertising blitz.

Yet another anecdote that Plan IX will fail spectacularly.

 

[Commander X]

 

[Adamska]

I'm not going to lie, if the show turned into this, but with Indiana Jones meets Dog the Bounty Hunter, I'd happily consume product. I'm still waiting to see if the whole season can keep steady, since I will admit despite my fuck the Rat stance, I might buy a Blu-Ray or DVD for the first season.