Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[The handsome tard]

Does anyone have any ideal how Rian Johnson's childhood was like? I don't know but he comes off as someone who was probably bullied as a kid for being a weakling unloyal prick by Star Wars fans. He never truly let go of that and his parents obviously didn't do enough (he does comes off as a single parent child) so now the Last Jedi was his way of getting back at them when those "bullies" had already forgotten him for years. He wants attention at the end of the day, he may never do a SW movie again but he know she that he has already won (especially with his career doing fine afterwards)....it's still Kathy's fault at the end of it, tho.

 

[Creep3r]

So we're only 20 pages away from page 1000... And we only have 7 days left of aimless griefing before the film comes out. Will this thread reach 1000 before Day 1? Also, after Plan 9's release, I figure we should take a crack at poking fun of the Kylo Ren spinoff material coming out in January which reddit fangirls won't shut up about. Also all the creepy cutesy nicknames they have for Kylo Ren is freaking me out.

 

[verissimus]

Last minute leaks from JediPaxis:

https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/comments/e8tl0v/the_rise_of_skywalker_last_minute_details/

Some highlights if they are to be believed, and he's been pretty reliable about this to date:



Thus, in one fell swoop, not only are 1-6 totally rendered moot, but 7 and 8 as well because Snoke was never a real threat even if he wanted to be. Ugh.



Yes. Searching for an uncharted planet from an island hermitage that doesn't even have WiFi or equivalent, just drinking green tard cum and subsisting on porg tendies no doubt. Did they even read each others' scripts or work together just once to make sure they had a coherent story?



Ooohhh, such a stronk wahmen character!



'Member the new guy?



That's good to know. MaRey Sue is also the Muad'Dib. Can't say I'm surprised. After all, you can't say House Atreides without Rey.



Awwww. I bet he has big sad eyes and makes mechanical sniffing noises. Ugh.



I'm sorry, but this 3PO is logically blocked from translating the Sith script reveals a further plot hole. We know that Anakin built 3PO and that he can speak over 6 billion languages. But Anakin was yet to fall to the Dark Side at that time and after the Clone Wars his memory was wiped and he was in the service of Bail Organa when we first meet him in ANH. When and where would he have met a Sith who would have programmed him to I. recognise and translate the secret Sith script, and II. insert a logical block preventing him from doing so to unauthorised users?



Kept secret how? The industrial undertaking to build a fleet of Death Star Destroyers and crew them would surely draw attention to a concomitant outflux of engineers, workers, former regime personnel, etc. How has nobody noticed why loads of people all over the galaxy are making a pilgrimage to an unknown and uncharted planet?



Worst villain ever. Seriously. From the heavy-breathing force of malevolence that was Darth Vader to that emo teen in a mask. He can't even do a heel face turn properly.



'Member Mace Windu? I thought the prequels were being memory holed.

Still, that's the worst ending I could possibly think of for Palpatine. Deary me. Jesus fucking wept.

Yet despite this, I bet you any money that if I were to go and see it the auditorium would be full of Rey stans with hipster beards all shrieking like howler monkeys when she trashes another bad guy with no effort and clapping like seals at the end.

*gritting my teeth*

1) Seriously why introduce new characters at this point ffs. They didn't do this in RotJ outside the Ewoks and people in Jabbas Palace which is sensible only just because the introduction of the new characters were incidental and they didn't try hogging up any time that should have been spent with the main characters. RotS I think only introduced Grievous and possibly any new Jedi that wasn't shown off briefly in Episode 2. That's it.

2) Yup, JJ bringing back Palpatine does crap on everything that came before it. Good job you douchebag hack.

3) FFS, are we now also going to bring healing powers into the Force repetoire? That would have been real useful for Qui Gon.

4) Now I know that they did a whole find the missing planet mini-quest in AotC, and as sort of dumb and boring that was, it still made more sense than a partially constructed map Luke left behind to find him and this crap you mentioned in these supposed leaks. Like wtf. These people can't find planets anymore? Do they not have communications with anyone? Have they not heard any rumors about say space freighters going to a certain coordinate to unload their cargo? Why is JJ et. al. so obsessed with requiring a MacGuffin to be the necessary link the main characters need to find X?

5) Why couldn't JJ just have Rey see visions/premonitions of Palpatine or have Palpatine capture Finn or Poe if all he wanted to do is bring Rey to him? What's the point of sending a not-assassin assassin?

6) Why the eff does Palpatine even want and need Rey? She's a clone right? What does it matter that he needs her or is she his best clone or some dumb crap not that that matters anyway because of the whole I-cloned-myself-therefore-I'm-immortal trope? Also why the eff does all this sound the exact same as with Snoke who all the sudden didn't want Rey in TLJ?

7) ...what in the everliving crap...so Rey and Kylo suddenly have healing powers...and Palpatine doesn't! WHY!

Man these "leaks" are all over the place considering a previous one said Rey killed Kylo, but at this point I think it confirms that the movie was made to be modular which just shows how little confidence and ability they have when it comes to story-telling.

 

[AverageAnimeWatcher]

please tell, just put it in spoilers. haven't kept up with arrowverse for years but the crossovers were always the best part (for the memes alone) so I'm kinda curious how they fucked it up.

Sure. I will try to relate it as much as possible to Star Wars to keep it on topic. I'm worried someone will point out this is off-topic, but keep in mind I'm just making an exception to reply to a question.

Trust me, I know.

Remember how Luke ended up being a reclusive and depressive mess to shill Rey? Well...

That's what they did with Kevin Conroy. Basically they hinted he would be "the bat of the future" and one of the paragons that would save the multiverse.... only to reveal he is actually an insane murderer and he killed Superman due to paranoia. Then He tries to kill Supegirl with kryptonite and Batwoman kills him with a kick. Turns out Batwoman is the true Bat of the future and the best bat person. To be fair it's an alternate universe and all... but given Kevin is the biggest voice of Batman, and for many, the definitive Batman, the fact that they just used him as a villain to shill Batwoman was a huge letdown. Especially considering how much they hyped him as his first live-action appereance

As for Tom it mostly depends on your opinion.

It was fun, but he basically gave up his powers to raise his two daughters, If that's ok with you then you won't mind as a lot of people like it as a happy ending. But, many others, think it was a huge letdown given that the show was about him becoming Superman, it made the whole tv series pointless." Personally, didn't like it.

To be fair, although people expected him to suit up. Similarly to Harrison Ford being happy with Han Solo's death, Tom welling isn't too fond of the role either, so it's no wonder we only got a scene with him.

----

Anywho back to Star wars seems like Yellow Flash posted another Star Wars video claiming Disney is in panic mode:

Aparently they are planing to fire a lot of people if this movie fails.

 

[verissimus]

Then He tries to kill Supegirl with kryptonite and Batwoman kills him with a kick. Turns out Batwoman is the true Bat of the future.

I don't think I've ever wished people be unemployed until now. FU CW.

 

[Remove Goat]

Talking about this without posting images?
I am disappoint.

Spoiler: NSFW

Gotta admit, they aren't big, but they ain't unsexy.

Not to derail too much, but where did this come from? Her corpse role was on like CSI: Miami, right? I can't fathom why the sheet would be pulled back that far for primetime. Hell, when they did the closeups, they framed them just so the shoulders at most would be seen for modesty's - or the rating's sake.

TV is kinda weird, I remember seeing a gif of Jenna Coleman pulling her top down on set of Doctor Who but it looked kinda candid, like she wasn't aware of being filmed. This, though, is a full on shot that Ridley'd be fully aware of. Is that how things actually were?

Sorry if I sound exceptional, I was a huge CSI fan growing up and this just seems odd to me.

 

[RadicalCentrist]

Isn't Plan 9 releasing in two days in Japan or was that rumor a meme?

Talking about this without posting images?
I am disappoint.

Spoiler: NSFW

Gotta admit, they aren't big, but they ain't unsexy.

Kinda are, man. If it wasn't for the hair, she could pass as a teen aged boy.

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

So we're only 20 pages away from page 1000... And we only have 7 days left of aimless griefing before the film comes out. Will this thread reach 1000 before Day 1? Also, after Plan 9's release, I figure we should take a crack at poking fun of the Kylo Ren spinoff material coming out in January which reddit fangirls won't shut up about. Also all the creepy cutesy nicknames they have for Kylo Ren is freaking me out.

What even is there to say about Ren at this point? Lives like a cuck to some guy in a bath-robe and slippers, dies like a cuck to save "muh one true love."

 

[Creep3r]

Isn't Plan 9 releasing in two days in Japan or was that rumor a meme?


Kinda are, man. If it wasn't for the hair, she could pass as a teen aged boy.

Just a poorly translated bit of info of a supposed screening but it was just some shitty event. The place that's gonna get it earliest is Germany and some parts of Europe.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Worst villain ever. Seriously. From the heavy-breathing force of malevolence that was Darth Vader to that emo teen in a mask. He can't even do a heel face turn properly.

It might just be a dogshit attempt at salvage. Him and Boyega are the only people of the new cast that can act and not make complete asses of themselves the way Rey does seemingly every other day now.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Isn't Plan 9 releasing in two days in Japan or was that rumor a meme?


Kinda are, man. If it wasn't for the hair, she could pass as a teen aged boy.

Flat-chested girls have no place in Hollywood.

 

[frozenrunner]

Not to derail too much, but where did this come from? Her corpse role was on like CSI: Miami, right?

It's from a BBC show called Silent Witness.

They some nice little tittays

 

[BipolarPon]

Flat-chested girls have no place in Hollywood.

Don't underestimate hollywood, they celebrate and protect child rapist like Roman Polanski.

 

[PseudoScrooge]

Last minute leaks from JediPaxis:

I'm sorry, but this 3PO is logically blocked from translating the Sith script reveals a further plot hole. We know that Anakin built 3PO and that he can speak over 6 billion languages. But Anakin was yet to fall to the Dark Side at that time and after the Clone Wars his memory was wiped and he was in the service of Bail Organa when we first meet him in ANH. When and where would he have met a Sith who would have programmed him to I. recognise and translate the secret Sith script, and II. insert a logical block preventing him from doing so to unauthorised users?

On no, now you've said it (well, typed it)....Prepare yourself for the inevitable 2 novels and 1 comic mini-series about the "lost years" of C-3PO where he encounters a strong brown butch Sith lordess.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

So we're only 20 pages away from page 1000... And we only have 7 days left of aimless griefing before the film comes out. Will this thread reach 1000 before Day 1? Also, after Plan 9's release, I figure we should take a crack at poking fun of the Kylo Ren spinoff material coming out in January which reddit fangirls won't shut up about. Also all the creepy cutesy nicknames they have for Kylo Ren is freaking me out.

I second this

We should maybe make a list of the Cringe that rumors claim is in Plan 9 and rank whose leaks were most reliable

 

[BipolarPon]

Can't wait to get suplementary material on characthers nobody likes. :') Don't complain consume product.

 

[XYZpdq]

I will give credit that the idea "the Sith figured out one way of bringing people back to life but it requires self-sacrifice so fuck that noise back to the drawing board" works kinda okay for me.

 

[The handsome tard]

*gritting my teeth*

1) Seriously why introduce new characters at this point ffs. They didn't do this in RotJ outside the Ewoks and people in Jabbas Palace which is sensible only just because the introduction of the new characters were incidental and they didn't try hogging up any time that should have been spent with the main characters. RotS I think only introduced Grievous and possibly any new Jedi that wasn't shown off briefly in Episode 2. That's it.

2) Yup, JJ bringing back Palpatine does crap on everything that came before it. Good job you douchebag hack.

3) FFS, are we now also going to bring healing powers into the Force repetoire? That would have been real useful for Qui Gon.

4) Now I know that they did a whole find the missing planet mini-quest in AotC, and as sort of dumb and boring that was, it still made more sense than a partially constructed map Luke left behind to find him and this crap you mentioned in these supposed leaks. Like wtf. These people can't find planets anymore? Do they not have communications with anyone? Have they not heard any rumors about say space freighters going to a certain coordinate to unload their cargo? Why is JJ et. al. so obsessed with requiring a MacGuffin to be the necessary link the main characters need to find X?

5) Why couldn't JJ just have Rey see visions/premonitions of Palpatine or have Palpatine capture Finn or Poe if all he wanted to do is bring Rey to him? What's the point of sending a not-assassin assassin?

6) Why the eff does Palpatine even want and need Rey? She's a clone right? What does it matter that he needs her or is she his best clone or some dumb crap not that that matters anyway because of the whole I-cloned-myself-therefore-I'm-immortal trope? Also why the eff does all this sound the exact same as with Snoke who all the sudden didn't want Rey in TLJ?

7) ...what in the everliving crap...so Rey and Kylo suddenly have healing powers...and Palpatine doesn't! WHY!

Man these "leaks" are all over the place considering a previous one said Rey killed Kylo, but at this point I think it confirms that the movie was made to be modular which just shows how little confidence and ability they have when it comes to story-telling.

You see, chumps, what happened is that they thought that Star Wars could sell on name alone (and it still does to normies somewhat) but Solo bombing was the first time they have realized they would actually make a decent story for people to give them money. In fact, whole of Hollywood slowly realizing as almost all famous franchises are bitting the dust because we arent consuming like we used to back in the 80's to the early 2000's, they are actually needing to put effort and they are god damn terrified of it...since, you know, they are a bunch of talentless hacks who played life on the "Very easy" mode while taking a piggy ride on the backs of much more creative men.

Remember how Luke ended up being a reclusive and depressive mess to shill Rey? Well...

That's what they did with Kevin Conroy. Basically they hinted he would be "the bat of the future" and one of the paragons that would save the multiverse.... only to reveal he is actually an insane murderer and he killed Superman due to paranoia. Then He tries to kill Supegirl with kryptonite and Batwoman kills him with a kick. Turns out Batwoman is the true Bat of the future and the best bat person. To be fair it's an alternate universe and all... but given Kevin is the biggest voice of Batman, and for many, the definitive Batman, the fact that they just used him as a villain to shill Batwoman was a huge letdown. Especially considering how much they hyped him as his first live-action appereance

Kevin Conroy first go as a live action Batman...was just...to....push forward Batwoman....by making him an insane murderer.


I already wanted this show to burn before but now I will smile watching these fucking assholes lose their jobs (or just fail upwards as it usually happens in these things).

This shit just confirms me that they are doing all they can destroy the icons we idolize and love for the solo purpose of sticking it up to "us", the straight white males, and to push their shitty replacements forward. Its the equivalent of grabbing our toys, breaking them and then trying to force us to play the ones they are giving it to us while shouting "WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?! YOU RACIST HOMOPHOBIC BABY!"

 

[Raging Capybara]

GeneralFriendliness said in this thread some pages ago that Rey "flat chest" Sue will bury the belongings of better characters in Tatooine as a homage to them. Ok, the scene is stupid but I don't consider it to be exactly offensive... But the item chosen to represent Solo will be THE DICES!!! These stupid fucking dices again!

It's a fetish, alright? KK and JJ masturbate shoving those dices up their asses, that's the only reasonable explanation by this point. That's the most horrifying rumor to date for me, nothing tops it, not even the force kamehameha or Kylo kissing the flattest chest of the galaxy.

I want to watch only this scene now. I will download the camrip with thai subtitles of this disaster just for the final scene. I will die with the biggest burst of laugh of all time. The dices....THE DICES!!!

 

[Night Owl]

Music score and track list leaked. Though it is FYC and may not be complete.

Spoiler

http://download-soundtracks.com/mov...of-skywalker-soundtrack-fyc-by-john-williams/