Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[PeeveTheSheev]

Well, looks like Krautland Burger King just spoiled pretty much everything for the sake of a cheap publicity stunt. In an ad called the 'Spoiler Whopper', a bunch of soilords are invited to have a free Whopper, but only if they brave the spoilers on the menu.... spoilers that line up with what we already knew.

I'm no Kraut but I do speak German, so I've tried to translate all the spoilers for your convenience;

Spoiler Whopper (Spoiler Version) | Burger King

WARNUNG! DIESER FILM ENTHÄLT SCHONUNGSLOSE SPOILER. Bist du bereit, das Ende der größten Weltraum-Saga für einen gratis Whopper zu opfern? Jetzt BK App öffne...

www.youtube.com

"The young villain turns to the light side after the young woman with the lightsaber defeats him"

"The dark side has kidnapped children of the light side to turn them against their parents" (Finn being Lando's son confirmed?)

"The young villain and the woman with the lightsaber team up against the hooded elder villain"

"The parents of the young woman with the lightsaber were killed by command of the hooded elder villain"

"In a vision the young woman with the lightsaber sees the ship piloted by her parents' murderer fly off"

"The young woman with the lightsaber is the granddaughter of the hooded elder villain"

"The blonde general gets executed for freeing the heroes" (Turncoat Hux, although he's ginger - silly Krauts)

"The young woman with the lightsaber has healing powers"

"The young villain dies"

Super geil, ja! Hinter den Feindmachten... steckt der Maus.

Finally, this shows up in the companion app for the campaign.... need I translate this too, or is that last line enough to get the point across?

 

[Oaat]

But in Disney Wars there's no more room for doubt. Laser shots arc. Bombers behave literally like WWII planes. A giant kraken lives in a space storm. And now hyperspace glows red because it leads to Palpatine. It's fantasy.

Some more examples I thought of:

- Lightsabers used to be red because of a difference in components used. Now they become red when they are spiritually raped.
- The Krayt Dragon's redesign into a less alien-looking creature.
- FN-2199's electric stick (?), Phasma's Executioner's Ax (why), Dryden Vos's red glowing butter knife. More people seems to use these "futuristic" melee weapons in the new canon, which before were mainly seen used by the Jedi aka mystical space samurai. (To be fair, more people used melee weapons in the Prequels and EU.)
- Hyperspace navigation in the ancient past was now done using physical "hyperspace sextants" instead of computers.
- The mcguffin leading to Luke is a map piece, instead of a set of coordinates or hyperspace navigational instructions.
- Anakin's second lightsaber that Luke gave away in the EU is now a mystical Space Excalibur that can choose it's wielder.

Have I uncovered a conspiracy against the sci-fi aspect of Star Wars? Or maybe it's just a consequence of hiring writers with no sf experience.

7) ...what in the everliving crap...so Rey and Kylo suddenly have healing powers...and Palpatine doesn't! WHY!

Light side of the magic system.

 

[PseudoScrooge]

I guess this confirms so more shit. Including something I initially dismissed if the "healing wounds" track is anything to go by. If anyone remembers, I once posted a leak that claimed that the gang fights a sand worm and Rey discovers she has healing powers and uses them to save someone or something. I honestly that whole thing was too stupid to be true, but people are even talking about the sandworm now.

Lots of the leaks have been staggering to read about, but the presence of a sandworm being true just gobsmacks me. Was Abrams sad that Dune is still a franchise that he won't get to sodomize the corpse of, and he just had to take a potshot?

It's well known that Lucas borrowed stole quite a bit from Frank Herbert, and going through the books last year, I was shocked to learn that it was more extensive than just "spice" and "an Emperor." (In fact there are vehicles called "sandcrawlers," a chosen one whose wife dies in the childbirth of twins, and even a large slug-like ruler who obviously inspired Jabba.) Was somebody trying to add to what he'd already taken? T.S. Eliot said, "Immature poets borrow; mature poets steal," and Lucas definitely showed himself to be quite a grown-up poet in taking lots of things from different sources.

 

[America's Giggling Gigolo]

Some more examples I thought of:

- Lightsabers used to be red because of a difference in components used. Now they become red when they are spiritually raped.
- The Krayt Dragon's redesign into a less alien-looking creature.
- FN-2199's electric stick (?), Phasma's Executioner's Ax (why), Dryden Vos's red glowing butter knife. More people seems to use these "futuristic" melee weapons in the new canon, which before were mainly seen used by the Jedi aka mystical space samurai. (To be fair, more people used melee weapons in the Prequels and EU.)
- Hyperspace navigation in the ancient past was now done using physical "hyperspace sextants" instead of computers.
- The mcguffin leading to Luke is a map piece, instead of a set of coordinates or hyperspace navigational instructions.
- Anakin's second lightsaber that Luke gave away in the EU is now a mystical Space Excalibur that can choose it's wielder.

The Mandalorian also shows that bounty hunting is no longer reliant on actual skills such as tracking, investigation etc. Now you just follow a beeping "tracking fob" that will lead you directly to your target wherever they are in the galaxy. So fucking lazy.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Lots of the leaks have been staggering to read about, but the presence of a sandworm being true just gobsmacks me. Was Abrams sad that Dune is still a franchise that he won't get to sodomize the corpse of, and he just had to take a potshot?

It's well known that Lucas borrowed stole quite a bit from Frank Herbert, and going through the books last year, I was shocked to learn that it was more extensive than just "spice" and "an Emperor." (In fact there are vehicles called "sandcrawlers," a chosen one whose wife dies in the childbirth of twins, and even a large slug-like ruler who obviously inspired Jabba.) Was somebody trying to add to what he'd already taken? T.S. Eliot said, "Immature poets borrow; mature poets steal," and Lucas definitely showed himself to be quite a grown-up poet in taking lots of things from different sources.

What's the betting that these DT defenders, when the film of Dune (with Oscar Isaac in it) comes out next year, will completely be ignorant of Frank Herbert's epic and will say that the concept of Paul as Muad'Dib who can never go home again, fights sandworms, and trains the peaceful natives was all ripping off the Star Wars sequel films. Bear in mind we live in a society where people unironically claimed that the vidya Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine was ripping off Gears of War because both featured well built superhumans in ginormous power armour.

EDIT: Imperial Stormtroopers being kidnapped and brainwashed at birth to be a loyal private army vs. the Sardaukar, as well.

 

[verissimus]

Some more examples I thought of:

- Lightsabers used to be red because of a difference in components used. Now they become red when they are spiritually raped.
- The Krayt Dragon's redesign into a less alien-looking creature.
- FN-2199's electric stick (?), Phasma's Executioner's Ax (why), Dryden Vos's red glowing butter knife. More people seems to use these "futuristic" melee weapons in the new canon, which before were mainly seen used by the Jedi aka mystical space samurai. (To be fair, more people used melee weapons in the Prequels and EU.)
- Hyperspace navigation in the ancient past was now done using physical "hyperspace sextants" instead of computers.
- The mcguffin leading to Luke is a map piece, instead of a set of coordinates or hyperspace navigational instructions.
- Anakin's second lightsaber that Luke gave away in the EU is now a mystical Space Excalibur that can choose it's wielder.

Have I uncovered a conspiracy against the sci-fi aspect of Star Wars? Or maybe it's just a consequence of hiring writers with no sf experience.



Light side of the magic system.

...that doesn't explain Kylo unless we're supposed to just accept he's good now. Also...we are talking about Darth Plageis apprentice right? The guy that essentially wanted to cheat death. The guy that promised Anakin (well he could of very well lied) that he could save Padme. Also...again, if Rey is his clone, why tf does she not have dark force powers then? It's a freaking mess.

 

[Secret Asshole]

Does anyone really give a shit at this point about Star Wars, honestly?

 

[PseudoScrooge]

@GeneralFriendliness, this was my first introduction to the Easter Egg of the dice, a 90's CCG card from the SW card game:

Then later I read that there were actually dice in the Falcon which can barely be seen--I always thought this was a joke of "fuzzy dice," which in the 70's adorned many a driver's rear-view mirror.

I swear I had a photo from the actual film where you could sort of see them in the shadows, but at the moment I can't find it anywhere.

 

[verissimus]

Does anyone really give a shit at this point about Star Wars, honestly?

Yes, just not Disney's Star Wars.

 

[Flexo]

When not even Adam Driver can remember the 2nd film...

.Aɔıssǝſ on Twitter

“HE FORGOT THE NAME OF THE LAST JEDI!🥴😂 https://t.co/0tXLcu3xk7”

twitter.com

 

[The handsome tard]

Company that likes to force diverted inclusion down our throats fails to stop inequality and gender discrimination lawsuit.

Disney Loses Early Effort To Stop Pay Inequity & Gender Discrimination Suit From Moving Forward

Christmas might not feel so merry for the Walt Disney Company this year after a hearing this morning on the potential class action pay equity lawsuit from 10 female employees of the House of Mouse …

deadline.com

Of course the media will stay quiet about this. The cracks are starting to show at Disney and they will hide it no matter the cost.

Good reference! So can we please make it illegal to mention him, or show/watch his films?

Also: how does one burn down a marble temple?

Wood fire cant melt marble beams...

#insidejob

Lots of the leaks have been staggering to read about, but the presence of a sandworm being true just gobsmacks me. Was Abrams sad that Dune is still a franchise that he won't get to sodomize the corpse of, and he just had to take a potshot?

It's well known that Lucas borrowed stole quite a bit from Frank Herbert, and going through the books last year, I was shocked to learn that it was more extensive than just "spice" and "an Emperor." (In fact there are vehicles called "sandcrawlers," a chosen one whose wife dies in the childbirth of twins, and even a large slug-like ruler who obviously inspired Jabba.) Was somebody trying to add to what he'd already taken? T.S. Eliot said, "Immature poets borrow; mature poets steal," and Lucas definitely showed himself to be quite a grown-up poet in taking lots of things from different sources.

To Lucas's defense, he made it his own at the end of the day. Im sure Dune has "ripped off" from some sourcee or ancient story that Frank read/heard while growing up (tho where he got the space jews from...Im not sure...). There is no issue at your working being influenced by things like the hero's journey or some famous story (as long as you make it your own of course).
Tropes and staples by themselves are just instruments and tools for the story.

Does anyone really give a shit at this point about Star Wars, honestly?

Old Star Wars? Yes, yes we do. New Star Wars? We are just trying to study the catastrophy to see how it happened and what will happen (and to watch the fireworks, the farms are all about venting out frustrations you otherwise couldnt do in other "blue" conquered sites, if you catch my drift...)

 

[Judge Holden]

So blue checkmark twitter is currently melting down in autistic fury because Boyega and apparently Ridley and JJ have been unsubtley shittalking TLJ in their press tour

Seriously, the desperate attempts to spin TLJ as some cinematic masterpiece because "MUH SUBVERSION/MUH INSPIRATION" is legitimately as cringy as when Twilight fans used to try and claim their fap material was achtchully a better fantasy than The Lord of the Rings.

Seriously, stepping away from how utterly it fucked the Star Wars mythos from the characters to the setting to the lore and just pretending it was an entirely original work of science fiction in its own right, the film is just a messy heap of cliches and hamfisted plot points poorly acted out by its subpar cast, with "lol subversion" and "omg so inspiring ;_:" slathered on afterwards to compensate.

Sure such a thing might be enjoyable to some people...in the same way shit like Van Helsing or The League of Extraordianry Gentlemen or any given Roger Corman film might be enjoyable, but to call it a masterpiece is on the same level as calling one of the Harry Potter films a masterpiece. I.e. a transparant attempt to shill something trendy as being more than a passing fad just to make yourself look trendy for doing so.

As for Rian Johnson now witnessing the meatshields he used to smear his critics as hateful nazi incelnurds turn on him for trashing the sweet gig they were expecting...

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Well, looks like Krautland Burger King just spoiled pretty much everything for the sake of a cheap publicity stunt. In an ad called the 'Spoiler Whopper', a bunch of soilords are invited to have a free Whopper, but only if they brave the spoilers on the menu.... spoilers that line up with what we already knew.

I'm no Kraut but I do speak German, so I've tried to translate all the spoilers for your convenience;

Spoiler Whopper (Spoiler Version) | Burger King

WARNUNG! DIESER FILM ENTHÄLT SCHONUNGSLOSE SPOILER. Bist du bereit, das Ende der größten Weltraum-Saga für einen gratis Whopper zu opfern? Jetzt BK App öffne...

www.youtube.com

"The young villain turns to the light side after the young woman with the lightsaber defeats him"

"The dark side has kidnapped children of the light side to turn them against their parents" (Finn being Lando's son confirmed?)

"The young villain and the woman with the lightsaber team up against the hooded elder villain"

"The parents of the young woman with the lightsaber were killed by command of the hooded elder villain"

"In a vision the young woman with the lightsaber sees the ship piloted by her parents' murderer fly off"

"The young woman with the lightsaber is the granddaughter of the hooded elder villain"

"The blonde general gets executed for freeing the heroes" (Turncoat Hux, although he's ginger - silly Krauts)

"The young woman with the lightsaber has healing powers"

"The young villain dies"

Super geil, ja! Hinter den Feindmachten... steckt der Maus.

Finally, this shows up in the companion app for the campaign.... need I translate this too, or is that last line enough to get the point across?

View attachment 1046450

My head is spinning, why would Disney allow something like this and why did they put that video online with all those spoilers in there? They could have done it and beeped over the spoilers and blurred them out in the background. I don't get it, this is the most asinine way of doing this crap, what the fuck were they thinking?

The least significant thing is that this validates the spoilers, the bigger issue is: this is giving away every major plot point in a marketing campaign tied into Plan IX.
Who does that, what the fuck is wrong with whoever greenlit this thing?

Also, one spoiler you missed, at around the 1 minute mark thefemale employee says:
"The green haired creature is killed accidentally by the young woman with the lightsabre, but it survives."
Can't make out the last part of what she says after "survives". So I don't know if she says how the creature survives... (ie: being healed by Rey). I assume this is the sandworm creature?

This is mind blowing. I thought the leaks being out was bad, but this is ludicrous.
Around when TFA came out, Lego wasn't allowed to know too many details about certain things, so they didn't know the (butt ugly new) Imperial shuttle has folding wings and some vehicles that Lego made sets for were cut from the movie. That knowledge was considered "off limits" by Disney 5 years ago. Now, we have an official Youtube Channel for a fast food chain give away pivotal elements of the goddamned plot.

I just can't wrap my head around this at all and people in this thread don't even comment on it.
I mean, seriously, it's like marketing ESB with "Come see the movie where we find out Vader is Luke's father!"

Does anyone really give a shit at this point about Star Wars, honestly?

Way too many people, if we are honest.

 

[Adamska]

I popped in to do some shopping for gifts (sadly had to giftcard some things since it's my go-to and I couldn't find things that would guarantee likes for some), and buzzed by the toy aisle for one of them. Star Wars is so toxic that it's broken apart piecemeal in there, with tiny nubbins of random shit. The only things really organized were the Lego sets, and a small area where Kylo and Vader hang out with some light sabers. Will confess I bought a Vader, but this is mainly because the person I'm giving it to still kind of likes Star Wars. This was also after I seriously thought about just giving him Woody instead.

And Disney must be absolutely terrified of how this movie's going to go if they're willing to tease and release so much of the film. Either that or they've pissed off so many actors and staffers they're openly revolting against the Rat in the attempt to force a reshuffle. Either way, this production has proven to be a pretty big shit show; not the Bond or Charlies Angels film level shitshow, but still a pretty expensive one. With a lot riding on it too.

As for the Ruin defending, it really just proves these cunts weren't fans; they just used the movie to reee at people that remind them of their non-existent daddy. The actors they claim to love, the corporation they defend? Just props to hate at others for being capable of feeling happiness or joy.

 

[The handsome tard]

Guys I found my own leaks about episode 9 and for once its not stupid.
Check it out but spoilers for those who give a shit...are you ready?
1...
2...
3...!

Spoiler

 

[Dom Cruise]

Thanks for reminding me why I walked away from the AV Club.

 

[Judge Holden]

Yall want to know something sad?

At this point I genuinely have more hype and optimism for the future of the Ghostbusters franchise than I do for Star Wars after seeing that 6/10 passable reboot trailer....

....and I have never seen fucking Ghostbusters movie

Seriously. I never saw Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters 2, the Ghostbusters cartoon, or even the cringtastic shitshow of 2016. This is a franchise I have absolutely zero emotional or nostalgic attachment to, and hell even pop culture osmosis has failed to imbue any knowledge of the films onto my psyche. If you pulled a gun to my head and ordered me to tell you everything I knew about the film, I would only be able to sputter out some shit about a giant marshmallow man being at the end.

Even a franchise I have zero interest in or knowledge of, a franchise that has already been run into the ground and covered in shit by shitty #woke hacks, a franchise that I will never fucking hold any warm childhood nostalgia for....is more engaging than fucking Star Wars

Seriously disney....dafuq have you done?

 

[Raging Capybara]

Disney still hasn't given the memo to the blue checkmarks. Next week they are going to be sucking the rat's balls as if nothing had happened, and TLJ will become a bad movie out of sudden.

 

[Judge Holden]

Disney still hasn't given the memo to the blue checkmarks. Next week they are going to be sucking the rat's balls as if nothing had happened, and TLJ will become a bad movie out of sudden.

Honestly I think the answer is sadder than we thought

These people weren't even bribed by fucking swag bags to shill shit....they do so just because its fucking fashionable in their cliques to do so because it "OWNS DA BIGOT NURDS WHO HATE IT BECAUSE IT SUBVERTS EXPECTATIONS AND HAS WAMMEN".

They shill for free and because they think it improves their "brand" among other worthless twitter cunts who are emotionally invested in disingenuous woke-edgy groupthink.

 

[Oaat]

The Mandalorian also shows that bounty hunting is no longer reliant on actual skills such as tracking, investigation etc. Now you just follow a beeping "tracking fob" that will lead you directly to your target wherever they are in the galaxy. So fucking lazy.

The New Republic had everyone in the galaxy chipped.

...that doesn't explain Kylo unless we're supposed to just accept he's good now. Also...we are talking about Darth Plageis apprentice right? The guy that essentially wanted to cheat death. The guy that promised Anakin (well he could of very well lied) that he could save Padme. Also...again, if Rey is his clone, why tf does she not have dark force powers then? It's a freaking mess.

Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.

Does anyone really give a shit at this point about Star Wars, honestly?

You're killing the past too hard, keep giving Disney your money.

To Lucas's defense, he made it his own at the end of the day. Im sure Dune has "ripped off" from some sourcee or ancient story that Frank read/heard while growing up

Dune uses ideas from so many different nonfiction sources it's kind of fascinating in it's own right.