Security checks at federal buildings

[GaryGrey]

I've had to go in and out of a federal building about half a dozen times over the last two days. Every time I go in I have to go through security similar to the airport. Now it cold here so I have a coat as well as my backpack with the basic stuff I need in case I end up waiting for hours.
Here is the routine:

• Enter and wait to be called up.
• Empty pockets of pants and coat (cellphone, wallet, keys, gloves, hat) and place into try
• Remove belt and place into tray
• Set coat on top of tray with above items
• Open backpack and remove laptop
• Place backpack and laptop onto conveyor belt behind tray
• Remove steel toed shoes and place into separate tray
• Now with everything out walk through metal detector
• Try to grab everything and carry it over to table to put back on

Now at the table there are portraits of Trump and Pence on the wall in front of the table.
The whole time as I tediously put everything on and back into the bag there is Trump looking down at me with that smug face.

In one sentence describe what that face says to you.
To me it says, "That is right this is how I keep American safe, now say Thank you President Trump."
Yes I know he didn't make the security rules.
It also makes me giggle inside to know certain types of people must be filled with rage just having to look at those pictures.

 

[Pissmaster]

What happens if you smuggle a marijuana in you're buttocks

 

[Freddy Freaker]

What happens if you smuggle a marijuana in you're buttocks

@Shiversblood gets to search your anus and tells us all about it

 

[The Reaper]

Some of those people working the machines could literally care less. Once was doing some work with two checkpoints. Someone left a stapler in the bag I was using and I didn't know. First checkpoint got dinged. Lady working the machine said there was a stapler, and just shrugged and let me through when I said it must be a mistake. Second guy took his job way more seriously and actually searched the bag. I then looked like a criminal.

The worst part was it was a 'community bag' so the idiot using it before me who didn't have to walk through checkpoints left it in there.

 

[GaryGrey]

Some of those people working the machines could literally care less. Once was doing some work with two checkpoints. Someone left a stapler in the bag I was using and I didn't know. First checkpoint got dinged. Lady working the machine said there was a stapler, and just shrugged and let me through when I said it must be a mistake. Second guy took his job way more seriously and actually searched the bag. I then looked like a criminal.

The worst part was it was a 'community bag' so the idiot using it before me who didn't have to walk through checkpoints left it in there.

I forgot I had a bottle opener in the style of a butterfly knife in my bag the first time into the building. The only reason the security guy noticed it was because he has a butterfly knife himself. They took it out to make sure it was not a knife then we all had a good chuckle. All the security officers were super friendly, honestly it wouldn't have been so bad if not for the boots, belt, and laptop.

What happens if you smuggle a marijuana in you're buttocks

Then you are getting high on crack.

 

[Token Weeaboo]

Some of those people working the machines could literally care less.

I know a few people who are TSA employees? Guards? whatever you'd call them- they talked about how they sometimes have 14 hour shifts. They'd take their job seriously until they have to skip multiple breaks due to stupid scheduling or not enough people under their payroll. I'd personally be a bit hangry if I had to stand around for the whole day just watching people walk by without anything to even snack on because "professionalism".

 

[The Reaper]

They took it out to make sure it was not a knife then we all had a good chuckle. All the security officers were super friendly, honestly it wouldn't have been so bad if not for the boots, belt, and laptop.

Yeah the people were super nice, but a few of them could make that snap to serious in an instant when they needed.

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

Yeah the people were super nice, but a few of them could make that snap to serious in an instant when they needed.

went to Colorado and got weed, threw it in my carry on and went through airport security. nobody stopped me but they made the cripple in front of me take off his cast, lol.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Recently I had to go to a local IRS Taxpayer Assistance Center to talk to an IRS employee about something. The IRS web site said that you needed to call to set up an appointment and I tried repeatedly but their phone system didn't work (it picked up the phone each time but the line was just dead) so I headed down to their office in person to see if I could set up an appointment with their receptionist. As it turns out they didn't have an actual receptionist, they just had a security guard there to watch over their ONE actual tax guy. He couldn't set up an appointment or do anything else useful at all. I doubt anyone has ever threatened their one low-level employee in that office either, so that guy's paycheck is just a complete waste of money. But don't worry, his gun will one day be good for something when he kills himself from the emptiness of his existence.