KPop Stans - The round eye fans of slant eye bands

1562273051415-png.905147
1568018148169-jpg.936405
 
The funniest thing about kpop stans is seeing people react to them with feigned outrage. The denizens of Kiwi Farms Dot Net, who have spent nearly a decade trying to assassinate Andrew Dobson for being bad at drawing, or jerking off to balloons, or something, recoil in horror upon finding out that people are getting tweeted at with .gifs. Terror overwhelms them as they imagine teenage girls fantasizing about men they find attractive. Just before their life expires, with the cause of death being fear, they scream to the sky in frustration about an entertainment industry having the audacity to objectify it's participants. Between the self-aware zoomers and the poes, the internet badasses of The Kiwi Farms Dot Eye Ess are sent into a tizzy of gigantic proportions, unable to navigate the maze of obvious parody.

As we all know, solving this maze is of great importance because we must prosecute the Korean Industrial Pop Complex for the high crime of not being authentic enough. The Jew called "Lou Pearlman" clearly set the rules that pop music must adhere to and when villains like Park Jin-young and Yoo Young-jin conspired to actually teach their students how to sing and/or dance, the balance was forever shattered. In your frustration, you have been reduced to removing your coat and laying it over puddles to ensure that Dan Schneider, Simon Cowell and others with several trips on The Lolita Express don't get their shoes wet because you don't have a basic understanding of neo-confucianism, it's relation to discipline and how those things will always result in a superior form of popular music. Imagine losing your way so utterly and completely because Seo Taiji found a Roland TR-808 in a Japanese thrift store and Lee Soo-man did a week of focus testing. LMAO.

Korean pop music is wall-to-wall post-modern music majors and people who you can find footage of from when they were 7 years old practicing their art with more dedication than the average professional athlete. This is the edge of humanity. Westerners with $40,000 worth of college loans, high blood pressure, a wall of full of Marvel Blu-Rays and bad knees have endless accusations to make against the modern day Magellans. Sneer at the music made by the equals of Beethoven as they send Kering's phone calls to voicemail because they just don't need anymore Balenciaga. Mommyson sits atop the throne of intellectualism - with his mask off, to ensure that you're not in on the joke.

Never forget that you're a bunch of rubes, you're total cringe and SNSD will never die.
It's way too early to bait, man. You should wait for the K-pop fans to actually find this thread first, then start baiting to blend in.
 
The funniest thing about kpop stans is seeing people react to them with feigned outrage. The denizens of Kiwi Farms Dot Net, who have spent nearly a decade trying to assassinate Andrew Dobson for being bad at drawing, or jerking off to balloons, or something, recoil in horror upon finding out that people are getting tweeted at with .gifs. Terror overwhelms them as they imagine teenage girls fantasizing about men they find attractive. Just before their life expires, with the cause of death being fear, they scream to the sky in frustration about an entertainment industry having the audacity to objectify it's participants. Between the self-aware zoomers and the poes, the internet badasses of The Kiwi Farms Dot Eye Ess are sent into a tizzy of gigantic proportions, unable to navigate the maze of obvious parody.

As we all know, solving this maze is of great importance because we must prosecute the Korean Industrial Pop Complex for the high crime of not being authentic enough. The Jew called "Lou Pearlman" clearly set the rules that pop music must adhere to and when villains like Park Jin-young and Yoo Young-jin conspired to actually teach their students how to sing and/or dance, the balance was forever shattered. In your frustration, you have been reduced to removing your coat and laying it over puddles to ensure that Dan Schneider, Simon Cowell and others with several trips on The Lolita Express don't get their shoes wet because you don't have a basic understanding of neo-confucianism, it's relation to discipline and how those things will always result in a superior form of popular music. Imagine losing your way so utterly and completely because Seo Taiji found a Roland TR-808 in a Japanese thrift store and Lee Soo-man did a week of focus testing. LMAO.

Korean pop music is wall-to-wall post-modern music majors and people who you can find footage of from when they were 7 years old practicing their art with more dedication than the average professional athlete. This is the edge of humanity. Westerners with $40,000 worth of college loans, high blood pressure, a wall of full of Marvel Blu-Rays and bad knees have endless accusations to make against the modern day Magellans. Sneer at the music made by the equals of Beethoven as they send Kering's phone calls to voicemail because they just don't need anymore Balenciaga. Mommyson sits atop the throne of intellectualism - with his mask off, to ensure that you're not in on the joke.

Never forget that you're a bunch of rubes, you're total cringe and SNSD will never die.

So what your saying is k-pop is the new gugak?
 
It's disturbing how huge the community of "writing about BTS boys doing every fetish imaginable" is on Twitter. If you can think of a fetish, chances are someone has written a 50-tweet thread about Jimin doing it.
Bonus:
View attachment 1049363
Uh...I'm pretty sure any normal dad wouldn't talk to his daughter that way. 🤢
 
It's disturbing how huge the community of "writing about BTS boys doing every fetish imaginable" is on Twitter. If you can think of a fetish, chances are someone has written a 50-tweet thread about Jimin doing it.
Bonus:
View attachment 1049363
That's the craziest part of the fandom, I think -- the fan fiction and the ships and all that weirdness. I get preteen/teen girls/gay boys fawning over boy bands but the fantasies about these groups are disturbing. I actually feel sorry for performers who have such crazy fans. This stuff is creepy all on its own but imagine reading it written about you. Ew. Terrifying.

And then there are the older fans ... some of the kpop stars are underage or barely legal. If you're in your 40's and lusting after them, it's pedophilia (or pretty much the same thing with that age difference even if they are legal age).
 
I get preteen/teen girls/gay boys fawning over boy bands but the fantasies about these groups are disturbing.
Honestly, their fantasies containing real people should be kept to themselves. These K-pop groups aren't fictional characters and other celebs have found explicit fan fiction about them and asked fans to stop (unfortunately it doesn't seem to work). I remember way back in the day, people would make websites centered around "imagine yourself fucking your favorite celebrity" and showcasing fan fictions about them. Michael Jackson seemed to get these kind of sites the most and they would go back as far as the 90's.
 
Was wondering why we didn't have a thread on these cows sooner. The best part about this thread going forward is that this could become a bit of an international thread of all K-pop fuckery, but that would hing on any multilingual kiwis knowing Korean (Or just anyone who lurks in those circles) to give us that thick, creamy milk. Because, the shippers seem to transcend language barriers, so that's a sign of something if nothing else.

I think part of the reason that people act completely insane about K-pop groups is because of the promoting groups do, which, I believe consists of videos/shows of the group members involved in daily life matters and other funny shenanigans, so that probably can give the impression they're characters rather than people. Doesn't make it any less exceptional though.

Anyways, here's just some assorted BTS (I think?) things I found that primarily ended up being about the creature known as Jimin. Yes BTS stans are a low hanging fruit, no I don't care because it's still funny to me.

help.png

(Archive)

ghgf.png

(Archive)
you are the cow here.png

(Archive)
jimin.png

I_need_to_clean_my_harddrive.png

By the way, this Jimin getting turned into Tinkerbell and getting dicked down is a popular AU from what I've gleaned.
Archives: 1, 2
hepl.png

(Archive)

exceptional individual sighte.png

(Archive)
is it the autism.png

(Archive)
By the way, a really popular attitude these people have is "if I block BTS, they won't see it! You can't bully me now!", and to get the profile from the above person on that to cement the feeling:
BITCHES.png


Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go format my hard drive, clear my search history, and apologize to my computer for this.
 
Oooh, this threads gonna be good, even if we mostly go for low-hanging fruit.

Just wanted to come into mention two things I've noticed from KPop stans in my Internet time:
  1. Before the Tumblr porn ban, I used to half-ass watch a particular user who reblogged a lot of porn clips. A decent chunk of it was gay Korean porn, and they were often tagged with two slashed names. Jimin was a common name in these, so unless that's a frequent name in Korea, I'm pretty fucking sure it was people tagging their fantasies with their idols.
  2. In the roleplaying circles I'm a part of, there's people who ask for RPs (usually sexual) of some of the members. Now, I'm pretty laissez faire on what people want to act out in their spare time, but real people are a near-universal line to stop. I've seen other requests for such roleplays, but it feels like BTS and a couple other groups are common targets when they come up.
If I can pry up anything to show off, I'll go for it. Until then, I'll be in the shadows, keeping my eyes open for more (heh.)
 
Was wondering why we didn't have a thread on these cows sooner. The best part about this thread going forward is that this could become a bit of an international thread of all K-pop fuckery, but that would hing on any multilingual kiwis knowing Korean (Or just anyone who lurks in those circles) to give us that thick, creamy tard cum. Because, the shippers seem to transcend language barriers, so that's a sign of something if nothing else.

I think part of the reason that people act completely insane about K-pop groups is because of the promoting groups do, which, I believe consists of videos/shows of the group members involved in daily life matters and other funny shenanigans, so that probably can give the impression they're characters rather than people. Doesn't make it any less exceptional though.

Anyways, here's just some assorted BTS (I think?) things I found that primarily ended up being about the creature known as Jimin. Yes BTS stans are a low hanging fruit, no I don't care because it's still funny to me.

View attachment 1049478
(Archive)

View attachment 1049464
(Archive)
View attachment 1049457
(Archive)
View attachment 1049415
View attachment 1049424
By the way, this Jimin getting turned into Tinkerbell and getting dicked down is a popular AU from what I've gleaned.
Archives: 1, 2
View attachment 1049448
(Archive)

View attachment 1049439
(Archive)
View attachment 1049453
(Archive)
By the way, a really popular attitude these people have is "if I block BTS, they won't see it! You can't bully me now!", and to get the profile from the above person on that to cement the feeling:
View attachment 1049455

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go format my hard drive, clear my search history, and apologize to my computer for this.
These all read like an AI generated everything.
 
My experience with Kpop is largely limited to the ramblings of my younger sister which has provided me with some insight. It just amuses me that people have fallen for a cult of identical personalites that don't even pretend to not be artifical, in fact its pretty well known how fucking artifical they really are. The other thing I find intresting is how westernised the music is and how western perceptions of Asian men perminates within the music videos they produce, these guys ain't particualrly masculine and it seems to be further shaping the idea that Asian men aren't masculine. Its not that I particularly care but when a nations major cultural export is dancing twinks, I doesn't nessicarly improve the perceptions of both westerners or Koreans.
 
Last edited:
It just amuses me that people have fallen for a cult of identical personalites that don't even pretend to not be artifical, in fact its pretty well known has fucking artifical they really are.

That's what I find so weird about hardcore K-pop fans, honestly. It's just more evidence that the concept of "selling out" is no longer a thing.

Back in the day, people who hated pop music used criticize it by claiming that US pop stars were fake and manufactured by the music industry. Which was true, but the music industry, to their credit, at least tried to make it look like their fame was somewhat organic.

But with K-Pop, it's absolutely no secret that these groups are all slapped together by some executives in a boardroom for maximum marketability, and from what I've seen, their fans don't really seems to care. I get the feeling if a Milli Vanilli incident happened today, nobody would bat an eye. I'm not sure if people are just more jaded these days, or if they truly just don't care as long as the image they're presented is attractive enough.
 
When K-pop superfans turn ugly – the dark side of the Korean pop culture phenomenon, where admiration turns to obsession

Fans often adore their idols from a distance, but some sasaeng – obsessed fans – take their love to a creepy, and at times, criminal level. In one case, a groupie broke into the house of a member from K-pop act TVXQ and took a photo
Topic | K-pop, Mandopop and other Asian pop

Korea Times
Published: 10:00pm, 6 Aug, 2018
Updated: 10:00pm, 6 Aug, 2018

By Dong Sun-hwa

What makes some people get so obsessed that they turn into sasaeng – K-pop fans who pursue their idols to the point of not just offending them but making them feel threatened?

“People, especially teenagers, in Korea are lacking opportunities to enjoy cultural activities, which I believe is one of the crucial factors that gave birth to the sasaeng phenomenon,” says Kwak Keum-joo, a professor of psychology at Seoul National University.

Sasaeng means private life in Korean, but in this case it refers to obsessive fans.

“In their early days, they mostly watched television and listened to K-pop, instead of enjoying a variety of hobbies such as playing instruments and sports. They often do not have other pastimes and hence they get obsessed with their only hobby to the degree that it inflicts damage on the stars,” he says.

Kwak says the media is partly responsible for the phenomenon, as it focuses too much on hallyu – Korean pop culture – not allowing people to appreciate diversity.

Hallyu has apparently enhanced national prestige, as the case of boy band BTS shows – but it also gave rise to sasaeng and obsession, which I see as the downside of the hallyu fever.”

Some sasaeng fans chase stars all day, while others wait for them in front of their homes. Such fans have been harassing stars since 1990s, as idol groups such as H.O.T. began rocking Korea.

In one case, a fan broke into K-pop act TVXQ’s residence and took a photo, which they sent to the group. Sasaeng fans crashed the wedding of EXO member Baekhyun’s brother and took photos.

Jackson Wang of K-pop boy band GOT7 was even involved in a car accident in 2016 because of a taxi containing sasaeng following the rapper.

“Even among fans, they have competitions to stand out and to get more attention from the stars,” Kwak says. “They want to boast that they are ‘different’.”

However, Kwak adds that even though they sometimes discover private information about the stars using inappropriate means, they usually do not reveal it because it could ruin the careers of their idols.

In addition, they are also reluctant to share the information that they consider exclusive.

Agencies often fear sasaeng will reveal sensitive information about K-pop stars. But as the sasaeng are considered superfans, the stars could lose followers if agencies treat them unfavourably.

Legal action is not seen as the best solution. Stalking, one of the most common wrongdoings committed by the sasaeng, is considered a minor offence in Korea, attracting a fine of only 100,000 won (US$89).

“Stars have to raise their voices if they want to bring about changes,” Kwak says. “This requires courage and could upset some fans. But still, they need to be firm and let the fans clearly know what is right and what is wrong.”

Read the full story at the Korea Times
 
Back