Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

King Kong, Jumanji and Rampage surprisingly enough were responsible for a smaller toy company called Lanard Toys to expand after they made enough money off of those movie franchises.

They're now producing new Alien and Aliens toys in the spirit of the Kenner originals(they're making this fuckoff huge Alien Queen figure that comes with a nest and it won't break the bank either). Lanard also puts out The Corps. toyline which was originally a GIJoe knockoff but now is the only toy line standing of it's kind and the vehicles fit Joes perfectly. They've also made spinoffs like Primal Clash which replace military vehicles for armored prehistoric animals.

The queen stand a foot tall so it's a big girl
View attachment 1052164

If Disney would stop meddling, they could easily have made Star Wars a big seller rather than a kiss of death. Kids and collectors want Stormtroopers, Droids, and Aliens of assorted types and vehicles to have the figures ride around in, it's not hard.
Lanard was a good maker of bootlegs; the thumbs of the Corps toys as well as arms were a wee bit dodgy and liked to snap off (plastic was decent quality it's just a bit thin there), but they lasted years with child me. I'm actually happy to see they're making a comeback and even getting IP stuff.

It's telling that Disney managed to nuke something that easily sold toys so hard they can't sell it, while these monster films allowed my child self's favorite toy company to come back into a new renaissance.
 
It's been a great journey with you guys but I think I'm going to have to stop reading this thread until I can finally see this disaster. I don't want anyone to spoil the leaks since I bet this movie is going to be disappointingly bland and not horrifyingly shit like the leaks imply (still pissed they took out time travel and the space Goatse). Worse, the group I was going to watch a bootleg of Rise of Soywalker with can't meet until after New Years and I don't want to watch this abomination more than once.
 
We need a catchy and upbeat 80s theme song that will help drown out the existential sadness during our coming quest to shitpost and spoil the movie into an early grave.

I vote for Miami Connection as it represents both our autist brotherhood against shitty movies, and also a shitty movie that managed to bring joy against the odds unlike the fucking sequel trilogy
 
We need a catchy and upbeat 80s theme song that will help drown out the existential sadness during our coming quest to shitpost and spoil the movie into an early grave.

I vote for Miami Connection as it represents both our autist brotherhood against shitty movies, and also a shitty movie that managed to bring joy against the odds unlike the fucking sequel trilogy
Got you covered:
Here's a personal favorite SW music video of mine by someone with talent.
 
Alternate idea:
1576292326824.png
...it's a bit much for a 2-person vehicle. I tried to give the driver more cover, but something enclosed would make more sense.
 
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All I have to say that those new jetpack troopers aren't my darktroopers.

Also it's really strange that they say "they fly now?!‽?" while off the top of my head there were 3 jetpack variants for clones, and 4 for stormtrooper.s Most I'm pretty sure are still canon. Why are they so surprised?
Also not counting almost every Mandalorian variant
 
Alternate idea:
View attachment 1052436
...it's a bit much for a 2-person vehicle. I tried to give the driver more cover, but something enclosed would make more sense.
Only things I would change is adding a turret/blaster in the back for rear cover that's either operated by AI or a second pilot. Only other thing I would change is... replacing the nu-trooper with a trooper that doesn't look like an Apple product.
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Question is, would it still need to be so long? There's also the question of how effective such a design would be at making turns? Unless the rear swerves. Personally, it would probably look and function better as a completely repulsorlift-based vehicle.
 
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Only things I would change is adding a turret/blaster in the back for rear cover that's either operated by AI or a second pilot. Only other thing I would change is... replacing the nu-trooper with a trooper that doesn't look like an Apple product.
View attachment 1052461
Question is, would it still need to be so long? There's also the question of how effective such a design would be at making turns? Unless the rear swerves. Personally, it would probably look better as a completely repulsorlift-based vehicle.
It does look better as a "heavy" speedbike like when you remove the treads. I can see the reason its heavier being it has a new model repulsor that's more reliable or something too in that design. Either that or a tougher engine.

This design would be better if it became a type of light patrol "Jeep" that held a small squad of troopers. Four treads, twin middle cannons or one heavy cannon as potential modules, then you have a good design for a patrol vehicle that's a bit cheaper and lighter than an AT-ST that maybe goes quicker.
 
Only things I would change is adding a turret/blaster in the back for rear cover that's either operated by AI or a second pilot. Only other thing I would change is... replacing the nu-trooper with a trooper that doesn't look like an Apple product.
View attachment 1052461
Question is, would it still need to be so long? There's also the question of how effective such a design would be at making turns? Unless the rear swerves. Personally, it would probably look and function better as a completely repulsorlift-based vehicle.
So you want the brute prowler from halo 3?
1920px-Halo3-T52ISV-BruteProwler.png
 
It does look better as a "heavy" speedbike like when you remove the treads. I can see the reason its heavier being it has a new model repulsor that's more reliable or something too in that design. Either that or a tougher engine.

This design would be better if it became a type of light patrol "Jeep" that held a small squad of troopers. Four treads, twin middle cannons or one heavy cannon as potential modules, then you have a good design for a patrol vehicle that's a bit cheaper and lighter than an AT-ST that maybe goes quicker.
Maybe something like this?
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This is something that started to effect Hollywood long before the rise of woke culture, where they started to forget basic screenwriting rules.

A real light bulb moment for me was reading the how to book "Save The Cat" which was when I realized how many tropes, even basic shit like establishing who a character is and why we should give a shit, were missing from modern movies (that was circa 2010 when I read it I believe)

I don't know if it was laziness or incompetence, but Hollywood has mostly sucked for a long time, "woke" culture just might be the nail in the coffin.

The problem with a lot of modern movies is they are more interested in subverting (TheWineTastingLaugh.mp3) the old tropes, not realizing that trope subversion is its own trope. And really subverting tropes isn't the issue so much as they fact they do so both lazily, uninimagitively, and often as a form of preaching at the audience.

The point of subverting a trope is surprise the audience; when you keep doing it, and often doing it it in stupid ways, the audience is no longer surprised. And if everyone is subverting the same sort of tropes, there is no trope left to subvert. If every disa

It also ignores the reasons tropes came into being; namely to convey information to the audience about characters without needing to spend narrative time doing so, and that some tropes are tropes because they WORK.

King Kong, Jumanji and Rampage surprisingly enough were responsible for a smaller toy company called Lanard Toys to expand after they made enough money off of those movie franchises.

They're now producing new Alien and Aliens toys in the spirit of the Kenner originals(they're making this fuckoff huge Alien Queen figure that comes with a nest and it won't break the bank either). Lanard also puts out The Corps. toyline which was originally a GIJoe knockoff but now is the only toy line standing of it's kind and the vehicles fit Joes perfectly. They've also made spinoffs like Primal Clash which replace military vehicles for armored prehistoric animals.

The queen stand a foot tall so it's a big girl
View attachment 1052164

If Disney would stop meddling, they could easily have made Star Wars a big seller rather than a kiss of death. Kids and collectors want Stormtroopers, Droids, and Aliens of assorted types and vehicles to have the figures ride around in, it's not hard.

I do remember seeing The Corps, and while I thought they looked like GI Joe knocks, they looked like good-quality GI Joe knockoffs that that some effort put in. So good to see someone's sticking to fundamentals and doing good.

Which brings me to my next point: I never argued in favor of the Empire using tracked vehicles in lieu of legged ones (well, I sorta do in this post indirectly), I was talking about hovering ones vs. legged ones. Basically, it's the debate between legged combat vehicle and helicopters.

That's why AT-ATs are awesome and track-speeders aren't, even though both make little sense.

Fair enough; helicopters/hover/repulsor craft come with thier own issues, which is by scifi rules they are less well armored. It would also be very easy to propose they would also be suspectible to some sort of jamming or interference. Also hover effects way more expensive than walkers that you can build practical models of for shots


But saying legged walkers aren't realistic is incorrect, especially with advanced technology. They've got serious short comings, but tow-cables aside, they probably wouldn't be relevant in the sort of battlefield the Galactic Empire would operate in, where they have supremency (that is, the ability to fire from an elevated position trumps being able to use terrain as protection).



There is though, that's what the LA-AT from the Clone Wars was (kind of), it has a bunch of missiles and some big-ass laser turrets on it and sweeps over the battlefield.

LA-AT is more like an attack helicopter or strafing craft.
I mean a loitering pylon turn aircraft (that is the aircraft puts itself into a turn around its target) because of how incredibly successful & easy to use they are. Strafing attack craft are standard, but an AC-130-type craft is so effective on any sort of realistic ground battle space it would be a near must-exist for a setting (if there are flying craft and unless there are specific reasons the craft can't exist or be effective; such as effectiveness of anti-air defenses or lack of appropriate weapons for a loitering support/suppression platform)

The AC-130 history is fascinating. The predecessor as the AC-47, which was one of those experiments that was a huge success. For the first prototype, they gave the pilot a grease-pencil cross-hair (because they weren't sure if this would work and worth developing a scope for, so 'here's a rough frame of reference, good luck brah') which turned out to be sufficient for nailing fixed targets with accuracy.
 
Maybe something like this?
View attachment 1052499
That's even fucking better than the Jeep idea I had. Just put like a tail gunner, or a little evil BB-8 or another Astromech in the gun (or at least something to automate it) and then you have a good "Heavy Speeder" that can support fire and strafe along the sides of what they're chasing or shoot down pursuers or do runs against heavier vehicles. The added armor accounts for an improved repulsor and engine that makes them about as fast (though slower to accelerate) than the old model.

Then have the flyers drop from troop ships in the sky. Bam, the scene is far less dumb.
 
That's even fucking better than the Jeep idea I had. Just put like a tail gunner, or a little evil BB-8 or another Astromech in the gun (or at least something to automate it) and then you have a good "Heavy Speeder" that can support fire and strafe along the sides of what they're chasing or shoot down pursuers or do runs against heavier vehicles. The added armor accounts for an improved repulsor and engine that makes them about as fast (though slower to accelerate) than the old model.

Then have the flyers drop from troop ships in the sky. Bam, the scene is far less dumb.
Brilliant. But instead of a soccer ball, just throw in an R7 because its more practical and the triangle eye looks more evil.

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Brilliant. But instead of a soccer ball, just throw in an R7 because its more practical and the triangle eye looks more evil.
View attachment 1052531
Perfect. I did say any other astromech and the R7 really makes it work. It's amazing how randos on this website can do a better job than the "best" of a near monopoly on the movie industry.
 
Brilliant. But instead of a soccer ball, just throw in an R7 because its more practical and the triangle eye looks more evil.
View attachment 1052531

I might actually want to pirate this if there were troopers on assault hover bikes chasing the memberberries skiff, and one of the assault bikes had a turret manned by that stupid evil twin BB-8.
Just the bike pulls up beside the skift, turret rotates and their eyes optical sensors lock right before the little black bastard starts shooting. It would be hilarious without breaking the tension.
 
Perfect. I did say any other astromech and the R7 really makes it work. It's amazing how randos on this website can do a better job than the "best" of a near monopoly on the movie industry.
Now a bigger challenge would be to try and make this Porsche+Disney abomination fit into Star Wars.
1576452185008.jpeg

I mean at the end of the day, its just a jet with a Y-Wing cockpit. The only way I could see this work is if instead of making it a fighter, they make it a luxury personal transport like those in Coruscant's upper district. And if its a fighter, make it one of those ships that can only be found in some remote planet's unique design aesthetic rather than something like the Resistance secret weapon that doesn't appear in anything outside of a pointless Porsche ad. Also why is it called a Tri-Wing when it only has two wings? Did Disney run out of letters in the alphabet? I know they ran out of colors and letters for squadrons since they have a squadron called Alphabet Squadron now led by a lesbian who is possibly also a tranny.
 
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