Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Marco Fucko]

Disney and Lucasfilm are calling this "the conclusion to the Skywalker Saga," and this movie does everything in its power to insult, retcon, and DESTROY the Skywalkers.

All nine films might as well be called the Palpatine Saga. It's HIS bloodline that survives all of this. The Skywalker bloodline is dead with Ben Solo; it's over. Rey can "claim" the Skywalker name all she wants; as long as she wants to pass down the Skywalker name via family, then Palpatine's blood will persist and live on. Palpatine WON. He fucking WON.

How does this inspire hope for the galaxy? This trilogy manages to make ALL of the efforts, struggles, and triumphs of the Skywalker family seem so ... Pointless! Fucking pointless!

I mean, Anakin is technically Palpatine's kid (in Disney Wars).

 

[Love Machine]

Disney and Lucasfilm are calling this "the conclusion to the Skywalker Saga," and this movie does everything in its power to insult, retcon, and DESTROY the Skywalkers.

All nine films might as well be called the Palpatine Saga. It's HIS bloodline that survives all of this. The Skywalker bloodline is dead with Ben Solo; it's over. Rey can "claim" the Skywalker name all she wants; as long as she wants to pass down the Skywalker name via family, then Palpatine's blood will persist and live on. Palpatine WON. He fucking WON.

How does this inspire hope for the galaxy? This trilogy manages to make ALL of the efforts, struggles, and triumphs of the Skywalker family seem so ... Pointless! Fucking pointless!

It's a film about family....

 

[HeyYou]

I mean seriously, what does Kylo Ren even mean? The character is basically an ugly, more unstable and more incompetent version of Anakin. People wouldn't shut up for years about how they hated Anakin's characterization in the prequels, but then here comes those same flaws again but worse on an uglier face and now everyone wants to fuck this guy. PEOPLE WANT TO FUCK THIS GUY!

It's self-aware this time, bro, that makes it good.

 

[Cuatro Vaginas]

Still disagree on that one, I mean I have no issue with them bombing Coruscant. It sent a powerful message and it rocked the galaxy to the core. But there were also planets that didn't really need to go and just kinda needlessly fucked over things and species while taking away uniqueness from the galaxy, and their destruction really didn't make an impact on anything other than taking away interesting things from the galaxy that didn't even get a chance to be fully explored. For example, the destruction of Dac by the One Sith was a shameless loss, but it was impacting and it actually had a greater consequence on the galaxy due to its important shipyards and political influence. It was also treated with the emotion that kind of shit deserved. Also the unique fauna of that world wasn't lost thanks to how advanced and widespread the Mon Calamari and Quarren were, but the loss of their homeworld was still gruesome and it made a huge blow to an important part of galactic industry.

Also, I still don't even understand what they were trying to do with this "Kylo Ren" business. What the fuck is that name supposed to inspire? Is Ren supposed to be the new Darth? Is it a corruption of Ben? Why are the other Knights of Ren called Trudgen Ben, Swoopin Ben, etc? So if Ren isn't a corruption of Ben, is Ren the new Darth? Then wtf is Kylo supposed to mean? With Darth you kind of understood that it was like a nobleman title or rank which was then followed by something evil or representative of the Darth's character, like Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Darth Tenebros, Darth Nihilus, etc. But wtf is Kylo Ren supposed to inspire? Kyle Ren sounds fairly ordinary to boot. The name Darth Caedus on the other hand inspires something and the character is a far better execution of rogue Solo son turns villain, unlike the massive bipolar emo fagboy we get in the form of Kylo Ren. Hell Kylo Ren's name gets all the more moronic when you remember that it actually belonged to a fat old pirate from the Droids cartoon called Kybo Ren. Wow, such brilliant lore digging there JJ. The cartoon in question even had a character who looked like Rey.

I mean seriously, what does Kylo Ren even mean? The character is basically an ugly, more unstable and more incompetent version of Anakin. People wouldn't shut up for years about how they hated Anakin's characterization in the prequels, but then here comes those same flaws again but worse on an uglier face and now everyone wants to fuck this guy. PEOPLE WANT TO FUCK THIS GUY!
View attachment 1054861
This is the face that inspired thousands of crazy fangirls to start stalking one of the most weird looking fellows in Hollywood? One who jerked it to Lena Dunham of all people?! Lena Dunham?!

How the fuck did a handsome smuggler and a beautiful princess made such an ugly motherfucker son is beyond me. Driver is a good actor but as a main villian and heir of both Solo and Skywalker isn't believable, another mistake with the casting.

 

[Rotollo]

Disney and Lucasfilm are calling this "the conclusion to the Skywalker Saga," and this movie does everything in its power to insult, retcon, and DESTROY the Skywalkers.

All nine films might as well be called the Palpatine Saga. It's HIS bloodline that survives all of this. The Skywalker bloodline is dead with Ben Solo; it's over. Rey can "claim" the Skywalker name all she wants; as long as she wants to pass down the Skywalker name via family, then Palpatine's blood will persist and live on. Palpatine WON. He fucking WON.

How does this inspire hope for the galaxy? This trilogy manages to make ALL of the efforts, struggles, and triumphs of the Skywalker family seem so ... Pointless! Fucking pointless!

This is the final frontier for the whole gray force shit, they have been pushing this whole "use both the light and darkside" for a while. the end game was palpy's bloodline with the skywalkers teachings, its the weird morally gray shit.

 

[Love Machine]

How the fuck did a handsome smuggler and a beautiful princess made such an ugly motherfucker son is beyond me. Driver is a good actor but as a main villian and heir of both Solo and Skywalker isn't believable, another mistake with the casting.

Fuck You Adam driver isn't ugly!

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

Disney probably tells them to tweet something that creates hype, I also don't know who these people are but it just reeks of dishonesty. Wow... WOW and WOW! it's DSP levels of deception.

There's a thread on 4chan that's screenshotting Twitter reactions and I'm already starting to see the Star Wars dedicated shill websites kissing this movie's ass. They're going all-out but it might be too little too late.

 

[Love Machine]

Alright guys... But there is a timeline were this movie was kino though.

 

[Creep3r]

More shilling.

Nothing but pure corporate faggotry while regurgitating Disney's Skywalker Saga bs.


Uh oh. Some folks deviated from the party line.

No more free passes to Disneyland for you buckos!

 

[buying gf]

Wait, is Anakin only in this as a single voice among others, cheering Rey on? What a fulfilling ending - your sacrifice didn't make things better, and all you can do is whisper kind words into the ear the granddaughter of the guy who groomed you and used you to become the most powerful person in the galaxy.

At least Yoda got to burn something down.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

This is the final frontier for the whole gray force shit, they have been pushing this whole "use both the light and darkside" for a while. the end game was palpy's bloodline with the skywalkers teachings, its the weird morally gray shit.

I can't believe I am saying this, but ... It would have been less disrespectful if the movie ended with a Reylo wedding. That at least would have been more consistent with some of the more interesting things introduced in The Last Jedi; about creating a new future and a new generation. Both a Skywalker and a Palpatine could defy their family history and work together to create a new type of Jedi order-- a "Gray force" thing, if you will. Not saying that ending would have been fantastic ... But at least it wouldn't be such a demonstrative SPIT in the face to the Skywalker family. Ben gets to carry his family legacy in a good way, and Rey gets to "define her own destiny like a strong independent lady" by dropping the Palpatine name.

Jesus Christ. Even an ending that would fully cave in to the weird Reylo shippers would be better than what we have now. End me.

 

[HeyYou]

Holy shit, even the positive responses take the time to mention that there were several issues. And this was the shill group who were chosen to see this movie to spread hype.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

More shilling.
View attachment 1054872View attachment 1054874View attachment 1054877View attachment 1054876
View attachment 1054878View attachment 1054879View attachment 1054881
Nothing but pure corporate faggotry while regurgitating Disney's Skywalker Saga bs.


Uh oh. Some folks deviated from the party line.
View attachment 1054870View attachment 1054873View attachment 1054884
No more free passes to Disneyland for you buckos!

I like how one of the reviews is begging TLJ detractors to like it as though Disney is trying to throw everything about TLJ under the bus.

 

[Cuatro Vaginas]

Fuck You Adam driver isn't ugly!

Psssh compared to Hayden Christensen or young Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford there's just no contest.

 

[Creep3r]

End me.

I'll try to make this quick... Someone hand me a chain.

Reminder to new arrivals:
The plot of Plan IX is on page 1023.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...-about-last-jedi.32492/page-1023#post-5728521
For those interested in Galaxy's Edge info, shit's covered on page 499 and onward.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-499#post-4776843
For those interested in the worst DisneyEU novel, go to the Chuck Wendig thread, somewhere around page 10 for chapter screencaps.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chuck-wendig-charles-wendig-terribleminds.48930/page-10
For a detailed breakdown of box office info for every Disney Wars films, plus statistics, analytical shit, and China's relation to Disney Wars profits, see page 633.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-633#post-5227376
For those interested in where all the Hell of leaks starts, its on page 377.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-377

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

I think this reaction requires the classic, or worn-out, Laugh Out Loud. From Mister Scott 'I love Disney's Afterbirth' Mendelson himself:

Scott Mendelson on Twitter

“At worst, I expected #TheRiseOfSkywalker to be a well made movie that I didn't like or whose story choices I disagreed with. I was not expecting a genuinely bad movie with video game plotting, thin characters, weak action and endless exposition of no consequence. Heartbreaking...”

twitter.com

 

[Creep3r]

I think this reaction requires the classic, or worn-out, Laugh Out Loud. From Mister Scott 'I love Disney's Afterbirth' Mendelson himself:

View attachment 1054892

Wow.... I did not see that coming. When even Mendelson, your most devout follower, can't bring himself to say anything good about it... I... I just don't know what to say.

 

[Muttnik]

I'm getting flashbacks to Lost. JJ knew what a turd that would be when the finale dropped and was acting nervous as fuck. Not even his most devoted of fans would defend that disaster.

History repeats itself. I can't wait for reviews.

 

[HeyYou]

(there is, admittedly, quite a bit of rubbish, much of it involving the always-aggravating Jacen Solo)

I can't believe I missed this post. You can't tell me that Traitor wasn't one of the most compelling pieces of Star Wars media. His insistence on saving the Vong is what drives the end of the series, too, and the fact that he achieved that goal speaks to the uniqueness of NJO.

 

[Creep3r]

BBQ representation in IX confirmed and like in Endgame, it is literally nothing. Probably two ambiguous "queers" hugging or holding hands for 2 seconds for easy Chinese editing which could probably be interpreted as simple friendship unless stated otherwise. Wew my sides at all the asshurt and damage control from the woke crowd over this.
"Truly JJ cared! Wow even a little means so much! XD"
"H-He did his best! Its better than nothing!"
"Disney acknowledged what I like to fuck! My life has meaning now!"
"I-Its not FinnPoe... b-but its something!! R-Right...?"

Bravo JJ in tricking a bunch of woke idiots into thinking you gave a shit about their dumb asses and making them give you their money. The shipper tears are so very salty.

Honestly if it were anyone but Disney+JJ these tards would be chewing them out alive over this.


Reminder to new arrivals:
The plot of Plan IX is on page 1023.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...-about-last-jedi.32492/page-1023#post-5728521
For those interested in Galaxy's Edge info, shit's covered on page 499 and onward.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-499#post-4776843
For those interested in the worst DisneyEU novel, go to the Chuck Wendig thread, somewhere around page 10 for chapter screencaps.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chuck-wendig-charles-wendig-terribleminds.48930/page-10
For a detailed breakdown of box office info for every Disney Wars films, plus statistics, analytical shit, and China's relation to Disney Wars profits, see page 633.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-633#post-5227376
For those interested in where all the Hell of leaks starts, its on page 377.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-377