Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[The Valeyard]

This video about Dark Empire just popped up in my feed for those who are unfamiliar with the story.

 

[Judge Holden]

I half expect him to hate it and enter a shame spiral.

No.

I am predicting now that the angry muttering we are seeing amongst the checkmarks will bloom into a full "JJ AND BOB IGER CAVED IN TO THE MANBABY BIGOTS AND RUINED RIAN JOHNSONS STUNNING AND BRAVE AND INSPIRATIONAL NEW DIRECTION FOR THE FRANCHISE" narrative, and both these two and all the icky toxic fanboys will be blamed for destroying such a promising franchise, and it will be declared problematic and yikes and I cant even by almost all former shills within the month....

...all except one

Movieblob has already proven himself significantly out of step with the hivemind...not due to any positive attributes on his part, but due to his autistic obsession with his wannabe objectivist and explicitly fascist masturbation being an embarrassment even to them, and I predict his obsession with loving corporate products will shine through, and once he has decided he likes it he will not change his mind no matter how much shit people throw at him for it

 

[UnKillFill]

Jesus, nearly 30 pages in less than 15 hours, you mad lads.

 

[Creep3r]

This video about Dark Empire just popped up in my feed for those who are unfamiliar with the story.

I'm usually hesitant about these guys since they're part TLJ/Disney-shillers, but I'm impressed with how they managed to make the DE comic look alive and animated like that. That's a pretty neat way of using Adobe Effects. The fact that they actually talked about both the bad and the good about the comics is surprising too. Then again, I can't help but wonder if their positive outlook towards it is only because IX is doing the same now but worse.

And speaking of videos, HelloGreedo's 10 worst things about pre-Disney canon has aged like moldy bread considering everything he listed in that video was either poorly researched or has been done by Disney but infinitely worse, especially his biggest gripe being Dark Empire simply for bringing back the Emperor which Disney has already done but worse, but he loves that now cuz its Disney and going back on his word and all his cocksucking would make him look like a jackass. Best to just stick with just looking like a hypocrite.

 

[Shield Breaker]

So is Dr. Aphra or her ship confirmed to be in the movie yet? That's the only rumor I'm interested in seeing confirmed considering every other pile of garbage except time travel has been confirmed.

Also I wonder if this is the face Emo Ren's ghost will make every time he watches Rey take a shower?
View attachment 1055464


Yep. Like I said, it was the 2014 Tarkin novel, one of the first things to be published by Disney and it was probably one of the only few good things they made because it was in production before the buyout ironically enough.


Reminder to new arrivals:
The plot of Plan IX is on page 1023.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...-about-last-jedi.32492/page-1023#post-5728521
For those interested in Galaxy's Edge info, shit's covered on page 499 and onward.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-499#post-4776843
For those interested in the worst DisneyEU novel, go to the Chuck Wendig thread, somewhere around page 10 for chapter screencaps.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chuck-wendig-charles-wendig-terribleminds.48930/page-10
For a detailed breakdown of box office info for every Disney Wars films, plus statistics, analytical shit, and China's relation to Disney Wars profits, see page 633.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-633#post-5227376
For those interested in where all the Hell of leaks starts, its on page 377.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-377

It was almost certainly approved by Lucas before the buyout. All planets have naming patterns based on a real world group or language. Naboo's was Sanskrit if I remember properly. Hence Padma =>Padme. Sheev is probably derived from Shiva.

 

[Reverend]

I asked everyone at work if they wanted to know the spoilers for the movie, all said yes even those that had tickets to see the movie. I went through and paraprhased the plot on page 1023.

This was a group of 10 people, male/female, gay /straight, married/involved or single, with people of various religious backgrounds and ethnicity.

All of them started making phone calls to cancel their tickets, get their money back, or give it to friends as they don't want to see it now.

 

[verissimus]

I asked everyone at work if they wanted to know the spoilers for the movie, all said yes even those that had tickets to see the movie. I went through and paraprhased the plot on page 1023.

This was a group of 10 people, male/female, gay /straight, married/involved or single, with people of various religious backgrounds and ethnicity.

All of them started making phone calls to cancel their tickets, get their money back, or give it to friends as they don't want to see it now.

JobDone.png

All is proceeding as planned.

 

[Creep3r]

I asked everyone at work if they wanted to know the spoilers for the movie, all said yes even those that had tickets to see the movie. I went through and paraprhased the plot on page 1023.

This was a group of 10 people, male/female, gay /straight, married/involved or single, with people of various religious backgrounds and ethnicity.

All of them started making phone calls to cancel their tickets, get their money back, or give it to friends as they don't want to see it now.

JobDone.png

Well done parson.

It was almost certainly approved by Lucas before the buyout. All planets have naming patterns based on a real world group or language. Naboo's was Sanskrit if I remember properly. Hence Padma =>Padme. Sheev is probably derived from Shiva.

Hence why its no surprise the book was good since it was already in production before Disney started tainting the well.

 

[Marissa Moira]

I'm noticing that the same people who bought Pokemon Sword and Shield and defended it as good are also buying Episode 9 Tickets in advance and also claiming that it will be good.

For you see The Fans who hate things are the real problem.

 

[Judge Holden]

Oh...my god....I just fucking realised something

Not only is Anakin made completely fucking worthless and pointless to the whole star wars story...

Not only is he denied even a split second force ghost cameo....

Not only is his entire family casually wiped out despite it being the one thing that defined him in both the originals and the prequels and the most important fucking detail of the whole franchise given how it was his love for his family that drove him to kill the emperor and save the galaxy...which in and of itself has been retconned away...

Not only all this...but Rey goes out of her way to bury his lightsaber....which at this point is his final legacy now his family is all dead....

....in fucking sand.

 

[Creep3r]

....in fucking sand.

OH NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!

This is like the biggest fuck you to poor Anakin imaginable.

 

[Commander X]

Mister Lobo on Twitter

“Proper viewing order to get you ready for "Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker": Skip Episode I & start with Attack of the Clones, Then "The Star Wars Holiday Special", "Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow", Season 5 of "Happy Days", and the Series Finale of "Lost"...”

twitter.com

Proper viewing order to get you ready for "Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker":
Skip Episode I & start with Attack of the Clones,
Then "The Star Wars Holiday Special",
"Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow",
Season 5 of "Happy Days",
and the Series Finale of "Lost"...

 

[HeyYou]

Oh...my god....I just fucking realised something

Not only is Anakin made completely fucking worthless and pointless to the whole star wars story, not only is he denied even a split second force ghost cameo, not only is his entire family casually wiped out despite it being the one thing that defined him in both the originals and the prequels, but Rey goes out of her way to bury his lightsaber....which at this point is his final legacy now his family is all dead....

....in fucking sand.

Fuck it, Anakin better call down force ghost lightning and nuke Tatooine at this point.

 

[Hugbox Kommissar]

I'm just here for the salt, but sand is acceptable.

 

[Judge Holden]

Here is a scene I like to call "Literally none of this shit fucking matters. Its all for absolutely fucking nothing"

 

[ZMOT]

The Mandalorian will want to abandon baby Yoda but Boba Fett will appear to him as a force ghost and tell him about his relationship with Jango, thus inspiring Mando to train baby Yoda as a Mandalorian warrior.

complete with mando armor. think of the merchandising potential!

The three films will be forgotten just like TMNT 3 and the Girl Ninja Turtle from the bad TV series, or Jurassic Park 3, or Alien Resurrection, or the last few Terminator movies after T2, or Ghostbusters 2016, or Batman and Robin and Batman Forever, or all the direct to video Disney movies, or the two Ewoks movies, The Droids and Ewoks TV series, and The Star Wars Christmas Special.

hey, don't put beloved meme movies in with this current year nutrash.

 

[mindlessobserver]

OH NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!
View attachment 1055667
This is like the biggest fuck you to poor Anakin imaginable.

Only redeeming thing that could happen at the end of the movie would be a fade to black and the maniacal laughter of the Emperor as he savors the completeness of his victory. All the Jedi are gone, and the legacy of his traitorous apprentice is ended and all that remains is his untrained granddaughter to remake the galaxy as she wills.

But the hack writers are probably too stupid to realize that the story they've written means the Emperor wins in the end.

 

[Judge Holden]

Sorry Anakin my Nigga, you will never fucking escape sand.

When your body is burned and armour is shattered, all that shall remain of you is your precious lightsaber...buried for all eternity beneath the sands of the very planet you were enslaved upon and upon which your mother was tortured to death...dying in your very arms as you knelt upon it.

The children you have with the girl next to you, your one true love, will die miserable and alone, and your only grandkid will die bringing a sour anorexic plank back to life after she casually renders your whole existence and everything you ever done and the sum total achievements of your entire family line completely fucking pointless.

Everything... all your suffering, all of your triumphs, your sins, your heroism, your villainy, and all your legacy....is just an irrelevant stepping stone for the real chosen one to come along and wipe away your memory and return all that remains of you back to the fucking sand.

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

And speaking of videos, HelloGreedo's 10 worst things about pre-Disney canon has aged like moldy bread considering everything he listed in that video was either poorly researched or has been done by Disney but infinitely worse, especially his biggest gripe being Dark Empire simply for bringing back the Emperor which Disney has already done but worse, but he loves that now cuz its Disney and going back on his word and all his cocksucking would make him look like a jackass. Best to just stick with just looking like a hypocrite.

Went on to check the video and found this fucking gem

7
Emperor living is number 2. I wonder if he looks back at this video in shame.

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

I asked everyone at work if they wanted to know the spoilers for the movie, all said yes even those that had tickets to see the movie. I went through and paraprhased the plot on page 1023.

This was a group of 10 people, male/female, gay /straight, married/involved or single, with people of various religious backgrounds and ethnicity.

All of them started making phone calls to cancel their tickets, get their money back, or give it to friends as they don't want to see it now.

I don't know you but I certainly like you right now.

Hence why its no surprise the book was good since it was already in production before Disney started tainting the well.

Doesn't hurt that James Luceno wrote it, either. The only Star Wars-related misfire I've read from him was the Millennium Falcon novel and even then it wasn't bad. It was just... average and a bit boring. If you guys like him or Brian Daley, try out the Robotech novels they co-wrote together under the name Jack McKinney.

EDIT:

View attachment 1055677

...Yeah. I'm trying to think of a response to this image but I cannot think of one. That guy should rethink his life.