Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[StarkRavingMad]

How in the HELL can the critics say that this shitty movie "panders" to the incel misogynistic Russian bots?

Rey is fucking Space Jesus in this. Squashes Palpatine like a bug, just because. This movie kills and retcons Vader's legacy for Rey just because she has a vag.

Again ... HOW?

 

[Reverend]

Laura Roslin > Avasarala

Disagree HIGHLY.

On the point of "This is how you portray a strong female leader who has flaws but pulls the literal world together in a time of crisis" yes she nails it.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Oh god, I'm starting to imagine the Disney shills going to go the route to demand Disney released the full cut after they mock the DC fans.

 

[AnOminous]

Steven Spielberg Predicts 'Implosion' of Film Industry

George Lucas echoed Spielberg's sentiments at an event touting the opening of a new USC School of Cinematic Arts building, saying big changes are in store.

www.hollywoodreporter.com

Long ago there was a prophecy foretold by Master Spielberg that there would be a major Hollywood blockbuster that would fail bringing the entire industry down with it.

Is Rise of Skywalker the ONE from the prophecy? The ONE to bring balance to Hollywood?

If not it will be some subsequent movie. Hollywood is too absurdly wealthy to be taken down by a single film. But a long series of them, with complete lunatics utterly ignoring why they failed and just screaming about Nazis as their whole industry burns to the ground, will ultimately finish even the biggest giant.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Heaven's Gate has returned in the form of The Rise of Skywalker to punish Hollywood.

Hey now Heaven's Gate's director's cut was actually good. It may have tanked Hollywood but there was something there.

There was never any hope for Episode IX.

 

[Cod of War]

"There's nothing bold about this movie."

I like Jeremy. He also dunked on Ruin in his Knives Out review, "Rian Johnson's movies aren't as clever as he thinks they are."

 

[JongleJingle]

LOL
View attachment 1056916

I love how fucking dramatic they make it. This is THE fuck up of the year. This is the ultimate "Go fuck yourself" in media history as of now.

 

[CervixHammer]

imagine giving two Star Wars movies to the guy who made Star Trek Into Darkness and being surprised when you get a huge turd in return.

 

[L50LasPak]

The franchise will never die. The Mandalorian is getting good reviews, the video games still make money and they will keep making movies. I expect them to go the Ghostbusters route and after the new trilogy's relative failure they will reboot some sort of Star Wars Classic.

Disney will never let the cash cow die.

Yeah I know they'll rebuild, just like in the Thomas Edison quote I posted. I know they'll be up and running again shortly and still go down in history as geniuses instead of corrupt hucksters.

But man. I have to admit. I'll never see a fire like this again.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

There's a subset of posters who treat this backlash like some holy crusade instead of laughing at a megacorp letting their own hubris cheat them out of practically guaranteed money, they usually out themselves by typing up spergy essays at any user expressing remote interest in a Disney Star Wars product or admitting to having seen any of them post-TLJ legally.

That sounds fucking gay, Disney Star Wars is just an incompetent mess that is hilarious. I just want to enjoy this fire burn, not righteously fight against some megacorp that is suffering more from studio infighting.

I may see it myself because some of my friends would like to see it and want to see their anger along with viewing this trainwreck for myself to find anything else stupid that hasn't been mentioned.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

So here's a dumb question.

Are the critics giving negative reviews because they legit thought it was bad or because it went against The Last Jedi, which was the progressive Holy Grail film that they gave a 90-something% to?

Maybe both? They thought it was bad, but only because it went against The Last Jedi and that was enough to activate their NPC brains?

Here is the thing:

I don't think they liked TLJ that much. I think they liked what it tried to do, or the idea of it. Also, Johnson is a bit of a sacred cow in indie/critic circles..

But, under closer examination of it: it's not a good movie. But, at that point, they were already committed to their reviews/narrative.

TROS has none of that shielding it. Plus, Disney seems ok to just take this beating and try to repair the franchise down the road. In hindsight, they seem to anticipate this with the questionable lack of marketing and merchandising to promote it. They knew this was a turd months ago, and prepared accordingly...

To be honest, this is the best thing to happen to Star Wars. Disney will know that they can wreck the cash flow without proper hands...

 

[verissimus]

@PeeveTheSheev motherfucker I said don't post Reylo shit!

 

[Hexadecimal]

Why does this whole thing feel like the 2016 general election all over again

 

[StarkRavingMad]

"There's nothing bold about this movie."

This is the most personality I've ever seen from Jeremy Jahns. Never been a fan of his.

In this video, he actually speaks like a human. And the thumbnail is actually hilarious, given that it's essentially a parody of his real thumbnails.

 

[fuckass]

Made an account just for this thread.

 

[HumanHive]

Soon you'll start hearing stuff like this:
"Rise of the Skywalker finally rips off the facade that we've been doing our best to hold up for decades: Star Wars was never really that good and always a silly story about space wizards fighting with laser swords."

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

Hey guys I got a little bit of time to hang around and...

*sees the last sixteen or so pages*

That pretty much sums up my reaction. Knowing is one thing but seeing... is fucking entertaining. God bless you guys. I'm glad I finally signed up here.

Also, that one clip that has all of the Star Destroyers falling to that planet? My main thought going through my head was: Oh look, it's the flaming wreckage of the Star Wars franchise.

 

[Rei is shit]

lmao

 

[Looney Troons]

There's a subset of posters who treat this backlash like some holy crusade instead of laughing at a megacorp letting their own hubris cheat them out of practically guaranteed money, they usually out themselves by typing up spergy essays at any user expressing remote interest in a Disney Star Wars product or admitting to having seen any of them post-TLJ legally.

This appears to be the case. Thank you. Like I said, I’m just a dude who likes movies - and obviously Internet drama, that’s why I’m here. If I’m lucky, I might even catch some live chimping at the midnight premiere I’ll be attending.

 

[cecograph]

If the incoherent mess of the Force Awakens and The Last Jedi can get 90% positive reviews, but this incoherent mess is down in the 50s, I'm guessing that making Star Wars films is a crapshoot, rather than the meticulously planned cash-grab childhood-memory raping that we'd assume.