Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Doctor of Autism]

I'm in disbelief. Is this some kind of reverse-psychology ploy by Disney to get people to spend money on Episode 9 just to see how awful it is?

That requires Disney playing some high level chess instead of being an incompetent megacorp.

 

[aricebowl]

Come and get it fast as you can, the opening scene:

So they decided that establishing the return of the main villain should be relegated to the opening text crawl and not the first scene of the movie and instead of a explanation we get “it’s the dark side, I ain’t gotta explain shit.” A* writing, JJ Abrams.

 

[MrHoneyBadger]

Spoiler: SW9 end video

Putting it here if they will delete vids on YouTube.

 

[los pepes]

I like how the reaction is so overwhelmingly negative that even the shills are afraid to pump out their usual "why star wars 9 is the best star wars ever and should generate significant oscar buzz" clickbait. Instead, seeing the entire herd suddenly turn and begin pummeling it, and being the cowards that they are, they feel compelled to jump in to stay on the winning team but are flailing around for excuses to do so. It seems the galaxy brain take they've settled on "RoS is really an alt right film, and that's why everyone hates it, and so do we!!!!!"

Trying to Friedrich Fromm their way through the crisis.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

 

[mindlessobserver]

So they decided that establishing the return of the main villain should be relegated to the opening text crawl and not the first scene of the movie and instead of a explanation we get “it’s the dark side, I ain’t gotta explain shit.” A* writing, JJ Abrams.

Want to know how unaware this movie is?

 

[Reverend]

Heaven's Gate only really took down UA, and Waterworld fucked up Costner's career.

UA was sold off for pennies and Costner was never given a blank check to produce/direct a movie of that scale again. We need events like this to burst the proverbial $$$ bubble that hollywood seems to throw at people to make something bigger,better, more X and the studios think that throwing money at things will make that happen.

Answer: In 80 years in the movie industry it does not.

 

[Love Machine]

You know, it’s kinda impressive that in one decade Star Wars went from being near indestructible and having some quite good content(although some of it was quite shit) to being hated by fans, failing at the box office and having a movie so desperately cobbled together that even the shills hate it.

Well done Disney, you fucked a 4 billion dollar investment.

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Mickey, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

 

[Sumdood]

All of you fags who shit on TLJ for two years straight yet praise The Mando at every available opportunity: how does Filoni’s balls taste that far down in your throat?

 

[Godzilla@1989]

So is Warner Bros. going to be in a tight pickle now with JJ after its pretty clear he fucked up Star Wars hard?

 

[RumblyTumbly]

And the worst part is the writers never even intended it to be that way. They were just trying to fix Rian Johnsons fuckery with killing Snoke halfway through the story and needed to replace the "big bad" with something else. And in there desperate flailing they bring back papa palpatine and make Rey his granddaughter because "she came from nothing" focus tested badly.

And it completely went over these hacks heads that by doing that it means it was Palpatine, and not Luke Skywalker who triumphed at the end of return of the Jedi. Not only does Palpatine deceive Luke, he also kills Darth Vader, later utterly destroys the new Jedi Order, corrupts Anakins grandson to the Dark Side and destroys the New Republic.

I would almost think this was some form of subversive brilliance if I did not know for a fact these hacks had no intention of writing a story where Palpatine wins. What a load of shit.

This is proof that it is possible to over-correct something into making the situation worse.

Yes, Rian Johnson blew up all the mystery box shit that JJ had established, BUT coming out of TLJ, I thought "Okay, so Kylo is the big bad now and now he's going to be in charge and is beyond redemption".

That could have been at least, I don't know, SOMETHING slightly different. Coming up with a 3rd movie after TLJ is hard after Rian bombarded everything to dust, but at the very least, I knew I could at least start with Kylo as the big bad and wrecking shit.

But now, The Emperor is back for no reason (Cue RLM "Palpatine's behind it all!" clip) and Kylo is back to being not-Vader.

So congrats. The one thing your third movie had going for it, you destroyed because your best solution to fix it was more Member Berries. Great job.

 

[Extremist Frank]

Was thinking about seeing this turd on Monday, but after seeing these leaks I'm good

 

[Zero Day Defense]

In the end, the only thing that was subverted was my will to live.

 

[Judge Holden]

Come and get it fast as you can, the opening scene:

Hooooleeeeeee shit........

This is....this is straight up Uwe Boll tier and I say this without any fucking hyperbole

 

[Android raptor]

Got some more SJW tears



These kids

 

[RumblyTumbly]

Want to know how unaware this movie is?

View attachment 1056973

View attachment 1056974

Is...is Palpatine flipping us off?

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

Come and get it fast as you can, the opening scene:

There's... a lot to unpack here.

First, I've seen media with rushed pacing, but good lord, seven minutes and I'm worried my neck's about to snap. We literally go to red planet to wayfinder to Kylo flying to Exo-whatever to Sidious handwaving his survival and saying, "Hey, I'm the villain now, go be irrelevant Ben."

Second, what the fuck are they doing with Adam Driver's character? Is he supposed to be the redeemable villain? Cause opening your film with him slaughtering nameless masses in a single minute is not the way to do that. Why would he take orders from Sidious, too? He's shown to be impulsive and trigger-happy: why not pull another TLJ move and stab Sidious the moment he sees him? Inconsistent character writing, thy name is TRoS!

Finally, talk about shitty choreography. The 90s called, Jar Jar: slow-mo stopped being cool by 1998.

 

[Fareal]

New game: other legendary IPs that JJ Abrams could “reimagine” for shits and giggles?

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

So they decided that establishing the return of the main villain should be relegated to the opening text crawl and not the first scene of the movie and instead of a explanation we get “it’s the dark side, I ain’t gotta explain shit.” A* writing, JJ Abrams.

It's hilariously disjointed, glossy and evading.

JJ knows it's shit, he just hopes the flash will turn off your brain. Not to mention. Kylo acting illogically: why not kill him? What is he offering you don't have already?

It's the the most incoherent opening Star Wars scene ever...

 

[StarkRavingMad]

How great would it be if this movie made less money than Joker?

I don't think it will happen, but given the immediate backlash this movie is already receiving from critics, then ... Hopefully that will be in the realm of possibility.