Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Marissa Moira said:
Apparently both Rich and Mike are angry and are also angry at jay for not caring and jay is angry that people care too much.

The review is going to be fucking amazing.
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friendship ended with jay
now
rich
is my
best friend
​
Monokuma said:
How long until the media blames incels?
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well there's already a small group saying "the movie was made bad because of toxic fans"
 
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DSP HAS NOW OFFICIALLY OUTLASTED STAR WARS!
jazzhandsofvictory.gif

Who will he outlast next? The Queen of England? The US Banking System? Find out next week!
 
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Smug Chuckler said:
Nothing happens to Iger, KK gets a golden parachute, and JJ gets fired by Warner.
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I think there is going to be a very nasty scramble by team JJ and the Rian cult to scapegoat the other for this catastrophe. Only question is will it all be behind the scenes or will Rian's tard rage cause him to make this shit open and thus invite the wrath of the hollywood establishment for such a breach of etiquette?
 
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CheezzyMach said:
So who's going to get thrown under the bus the hardest if this bombs?

Iger,KK or JJ?
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They'll pin all this on Rian first, but then they'll remember KK is mostly to blame for this shit due to poor management, but then they'll also remember that JJ with Kasdan neutered the universe and were the ones who wanted the OT characters reduced to losers to glorify their OCs, then some fingers will point to George for allowing Disney to bitchslap his creation, but then all fingers will point towards Iger for being the head honcho who rushed shit simply for profits without caring about quality, but then everyone remembers he's too rich to be touched and he's leaving his post anyway, so they focus on Kennedy again but she's immune to damage thanks to Spielberg, so all blame will fall on JJ and Rian and they will receive the full brunt of hate from casual audiences (although JJ cultists will arise to defend him because muh nostalgia), while the few who actually know everything will realize it was a team effort of fuck ups that began as far back as 2014 with Chuck Wendig, EA and Kennedy and progressively got worse from there.

As for the future, Iger will step down in a few years regardless of what happens, and Kennedy will get "promoted" by being moved to somewhere she can't fuck things up too much, like FOX, but she'll find a way. Meanwhile Lucasfilm gets dismantled in all areas except for the Mandalorian and then they focus only on Disney+ shit for now which will go to shit when they announce the new godawful Dr. Aphra cartoon coming in summer. Elsewhere Marvel comics will make more SW shit which reveals that Luke is polygendered queer and that Han got pegged in the ass by a gamorrean, while also revealing that Kenobi is actually trans and he killed his parents for not accepting him as a kid.

That's just my guess anyway. The part about Han getting pegged in the ass might not be too far from actually happening either.
 
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Well folks, it was a good run, but I got some bad news.

I got tickets for Plan 9.

Now before you guys crucify me, I did NOT pay for these; I was gifted them by my poor ol' grandma who didn't know better, since she knows how much I enjoy the series.

I will provide first hand thoughts after the showing tomorrow, where hopefully the mental trauma will be shoved off for long enough for me to make coherent, sane statements.

Bless me God Emperor, for I am going into Hell tomorrow.
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
They'll pin all this on Rian first, but then they'll remember KK is mostly to blame for this shit due to poor management, but then they'll also remember that JJ with Kasdan neutered the universe and were the ones who wanted the OT characters reduced to losers to glorify their OCs, then some fingers will point to George for allowing Disney to bitchslap his creation, but then all fingers will point towards Iger for being the head honcho who rushed shit simply for profits without caring about quality, but then everyone remembers he's too rich to be touched, so they focus on Kennedy again but she's immune to damage thanks to Spielberg, so all blame will fall on JJ and Rian. Iger will step down in a few years regardless, and Kennedy will get "promoted" by being moved to somewhere she can't fuck things up too much, like FOX, but she'll find a way. Meanwhile Lucasfilm gets dismantled in all areas except for the Mandalorian and then they focus only on Disney+ shit for now which will go to shit when they announce the new godawful Dr. Aphra cartoon coming in summer. Elsewhere Marvel comics will make more SW shit which reveals that Luke is polygendered queer and that Han got pegged in the ass by a gamorrean, while also revealing that Kenobi is actually trans and he killed his parents for not accepting him as a kid.

That's just my guess anyway. The part about Han getting pegged in the ass might not be too far from actually happening either.
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Bob Iger also wants to become President of the USA lets not forget. He does NOT want to campaign as "the guy who destroyed Star Wars" hanging like an Albatross around his neck as he is going around kissing babies and telling innocent little lies to the plebes. You can bet your ass he has a motivation to throw anyone and everyone under the bus to avoid that. And its not just a profit motive.
 
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I am told by a very reliable source that the RLM Star Wars Episode 9 review is 70 minutes long and has zero references to Star Trek in any form.

Mike went over an hour without referencing Star trek, we're at Defcom Zero. Someone check hell to see if a seal has been unlocked.
 
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For anyone who's interested
For the week of December 8-14, baby yoda was the #13 most searched term on Amazon US, in between "gifts for men" (#12) and "Apple watch" (#14)

"Star wars" is the #86 most searched term. This is below "Harry Potter gifts" at #54, a franchise that does not have a movie currently coming out.
 
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Not Really Here said:
That and the 479,000 hour long Mauler video.
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Once again that would require him to actually COMPLETE a project as he started on TFA and that's sidelined after he spent nearly 40 goddamn minutes slagging off some shithead that told him he was a hack. I like Mauler, he's great, but he'd rather get on live streams about fuck all and play video games than finish one goddamn project.

E;R on the other hand will put out a 5 min video and it'll encapsulate everything it will take Mauler 6 hours to spit out.
 
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mindlessobserver said:
Bob Iger also wants to become President of the USA lets not forget. He does NOT want to campaign as "the guy who destroyed Star Wars" hanging like an Albatross around his neck as he is going around kissing babies and telling innocent little lies to the plebes. You can bet your ass he has a motivation to throw anyone and everyone under the bus to avoid that. And its not just a profit motive.
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I almost forgot Iger planned that. I thought he gave up on the whole stupid idea.
 
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Marissa Moira said:
I am told by a very reliable source that the RLM Star Wars Episode 9 review is 70 minutes long and has zero references to Star Trek in any form.

Mike went over an hour without referencing Star trek, we're at Defcom Zero. Someone check hell to see if a seal has been unlocked.
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Have they seen it? Disney actually allowed them into a review screening?
 
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AnOminous said:
And they have mountains of EU shit that is mostly autistic as hell but with some gems here and there, but no, let's just flush it down the toilet because fuck the fans.

I defy anyone to tell me with a straight face that there aren't enough good novels among just Alan Dean Foster and Timothy Zahn's for two or three movie trilogies.
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It was pointed out in this thread a long time ago, and it's something I quote frequently since reading it: Disney had over three decades of market research as to what does and doesn't work with Star Wars. It's easy to point to the bad in the old EU, and even the stuff with mixed reactions could be reworked, but there was still a lot of good there. If Disney wanted to make a boatload of money, an animated Thrawn trilogy would have been the way to go (live action would be great but really only would have worked back in the 90s maybe, unless they wanted to recast everyone).

Instead, they threw it all away for JJ's mystery boxes and memberberries; followed by Rian's subverted expectations; then capped off with even more mystery boxes, memberberries, and finally JJ completely failing to stick the landing, as he always has. The result being that Star Wars interest is at seemingly an all-time low, the "epic conclusion to the Skywalker Saga" is getting savaged in the reviews, and Disney's $4 billion investment is completely failing to pay off.

I find it hilarious that after all the shit Dark Empire got, Disney basically just remade it for their trilogy. Say what you will about it, at least it had some interesting ideas like the World Devastators. Gigantic flying planet-eating automated factories are way cooler than "Death Star but it's a planet this time."
World_Devastators.jpg
 
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My fucking step-dad unironically loves TFA and TLJ and preordered tickets to this dogshit back in October. He's the biggest redneck you could think of yet has the soyest tastes imaginable. This nigga watched ANH on opening day and has watched every movie except the Ewok films at least 50 times yet is hyped beyond all belief.

He invited me to go see a showing next week at some big theater, should I even go? I haven't spent a dime on this drivel, and I haven't exactly been the biggest Star Wars fan (I think the only thing that ever really appealed to me was that one pod racing game on the N64), so there's not really any catharsis factor going for me, but I want to be nice and spend time with my folks since they rarely go out of the house to see movies.
 
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