Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Finally fully watched that leaked video of the beginning .... Jesus. Christ. On Toast.
The pacing is horrible. The dialogue is horrible. It feels like JarJar just ticked off boxes.

✔ Opening title crawl mentions wayfinder thingy
✔ Kylo is in a loctaion
✔ Kylo finds Wayfinder thingy
✔ Kylo goes to other location
✔ Kylo learns Snoke was just a puppet
✔ Kylo finds Snoke clones
✔ Kylo meets Palpatine
✔ Kylo joins Palpatine

And all this in like 3 minutes.

If the pacing in the rest of the movie is like this, where it rushes headlong down the list of shit they have to cover for the plot, then this sounds so fucking exhausting.

I'm looking forward to Dobson's reaction, he was so adamant about how Disney was showing a mirror to fans with Kylo and how important, stunning and brave TLJ was... and now we have a movie that takes a massive shit on all that.

Amazing things are about to happen here. You just watch.
 
Jeremy Jahns's review is now the #1 trending video on YouTube:

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Download and post, froggie. Those links are never going to survive long on Youtube.

THAT'S what Yoda and Windu needed, an extra lightsaber!
Just wait until Schick comes out with the Tetrasaber. They can put a wookie in the ad. They some him shaving all of his hair off, bit by bit, onyl to reveal at the end that he was a tranny CGI Supermodel Heather Locklear with the body of Jonathan Yaniv.
 
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Quick reminder that these clips confirm Anakin Skywalker, arguably the main protagonist of films I-VI, doesn't even appear physically once. He's an off-screen voice.

Jar Jar, if you're going to spam memberberries, at least do it right!

Couldn't risk pissing off the king of Hundred Acre Woods.
 
The reviews on Rotten Tomatoes seem to have balanced themselves at a still harrowing 57%, as seen hereView attachment 1057091Frankly, if this is the final score overall, just imagine what the AUDIENCE reaction will be.
"fan-focused devotion"

Lol what? What fan would like the way this movie shat all over the Skywalker legacy?
 
Sad thing about JJ is that the only good things he made were Cloverfield and maybe Super 8, and both of them were dumb monster movies so that says a lot about him as a director.
I do like Overlord, so maybe he shines on one-offs and monster movies but absolutely sucks on movies that long-established a franchise. Probably because of the staff breathing down his neck,no idea of the franchis, or both. By himself, his movies are stupid, yet a fun popcorn flick.

But to the topic of star wars: I think masked Kylo is a waste of a design in it, like he gave me a feeling like Boba Fett and then I remember its from the shitty version of Star Wars on seeing Kylo in action.
At least everyone is free from the confines of the Mary Sue for the time being until yet another retcon happens out of nowwhere by her.
 
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is probably the best public source for getting backup copies of the 'Mandalorian' series (as long as this is compliant with the terms of your streaming service).

I find this all very frustrating. J.J. Abrams did a great job of rebooting Star Trek. Any failure lies solely in the hands of Disney execs.

no he didn’t. The Star Trek fandom is as dead and nowhere near as big as it used to be.
And they have mountains of EU shit that is mostly autistic as hell but with some gems here and there, but no, let's just flush it down the toilet because fuck the fans.

I defy anyone to tell me with a straight face that there aren't enough good novels among just Alan Dean Foster and Timothy Zahn's for two or three movie trilogies.
timothy Zahns trilogy would have made Disney bank for real. Thrawn is awesome.
 
Corrections to at least Act 1 Portion

Movie opens on Exegol with star destroyers rising from the ground (I dont remember this happening) ,
we get cut to Kylo talking with Vader's helmet and then he says that now he knows what he must do (same here),
he enters a castle and finds a chest (I dont remember a castle, just a chest lying in the open)
tells the troops to come after him after he sends them a message that they can go. (false)
Sidious doesn't deny his death yet he says he is still here as proof.
(Kinda true, he literally says:
"The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be...unnatural.")

Sidious tells Kylo he needs to find a dagger of an assasin he hired telling him it's the key of turning Rey to darkness and winning the war forever. (I remember just him saying to turn Rey to the darkside nothing about the dagger)
Before Kylo leaves Sidious tells him to rebuild his helmet to complete his training and become a Sith, he tells him the past is the key to the future. (false)

Poe and Finn arrive and they tell Rey they found out Kylo Ren is searching after a dagger which has the key to win the war,
(False, the information they got from the traitor states that the Last Order will attack in 16h, Palpatine is alive and that they will come from Exegol. Rey remembers Luke trying to find exegol in his notes and that is where it says he was tracking Ochi since he might have info)

we get cut to a beautiful shot of Mustafar, Kylo goes there with his Knights to rebuild his helmet, the alien they meet there in Vader's castle looks like a gorrilla,they rebuild it in a Sith ritual and then leave but Kylo kills the alien before leaving so his grandfather's castle will be left alone.
(All false)

Will get to more acts as I can


Someone posted the supposed plot on 4chan. Here we go...

THE PLOT OF PLAN IX:

Act 2

We get to Passaana,our heroes are there searching for the dagger, (Looking for signs of ochi, they dont know about the dagger)


Not mentioned here but Rey and Kylo do the force bond thingy and Kylo find out where they are from the gay necklase a local gave to ray. And yes, Kylo physically pulls the necklase to where he is.

they get into a parade and find Lando
(Not exactly, F.O trooper finds them and tries to shoot them but Lando in disguise shoots him, they go to a crawler thingy and he reveals himself)

he tells them he and Luke were searching for Sith artifacts after RotJ and their journey got them to this planet where there was an Sith asasin, he told them the dagger has in it all the knowledge of the assasin as this is a tradition for them.
(They were looking for in on Exegol and believed the assasin might know, they found his ship but nothing in there so a dead end)

He stayed here because the First Order captured his children and felt he failed to protect them. Finn felt bad for him.
(False)

They leave Lando and go to search after Ochi's ship, First Order finds them and chase from the trailers happens,they fall into sand and get into a cavern where they find a giant worm wounded Rey uses a new power she didn’t know she has,
(Not technically right, Ray knows how to do it and explains that she gave some of his life force to heal the worm)

Force healing and heals the wound, the worm helps them in exchange, there the worm starts talking and tells them he has a name, Klaud or so.
(No, the worm moves away and reveals a passage way out of the cave)

They find the ship and Ochi's body with the Dagger and try to leave but Rey senses Kylo is coming.
(Ochi's body is in the cave with the dagger, 3PO reads it and says it tells where the wayfinder is, but can't translate it to everybody else because he was put regulator on by the old republic that apparentky made it illegal to translate sith language. This also happens before the snake. After they leave the cavbe, they go to Ochi's ship that for some fucking reason still works and decide to leave with it because Falcon is propably guarded)

They get the ship and go to Millennium Falcon but F. O. is there, they captured Chewie.
(Poe or Finn tells Chewie to go and get Rey since they are leaving, Chewie goes outside but a knight of Ren is also there and captures him. Capture happens off screen)

There Kylo gets out and goes to her, they talk and he tells her how she will join him when he will ask again and she says we will see.
(Doesnt happen and this talks is during the force bond thing before)

They fight
(false)

and then she sees F. O.taking Chewie
(Finn runs out to Rey and tells they got chewie while pointing at a leaving transport ship. Finn found this out just before when he comes out of the ship to look for chewie and sees F.O taking chewie to the transport ship, chewie also was carrying the dagger so now F.O has it)

and tries to force take their ship down, Kylo pushes the ship even more away then out of no where Rey uses force lightning to the ship and Kylo looks impressed.
(He looked more bewildered than anything)

Rey is weird ed out and believes she killed Chewie, Finn and Poe arrive with Ochi's ship
(They are grounded and yell Rey to get in as we see more Tie fighters coming)

Kylo looks at her from the distance. After this, no escape sequence or anything, just cut to them in an asteroid belt hiding
 
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