Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

So... uh... this exists:
I really don't know man. On one hand, it's so cringey, but on the other, man, at least she's trying real hard...

I don't think this woke/piss-poor filmmaking is going to hold in the 20's. Eventually, things give under enough weight. If Star Wars had to be the thing to break it all down then so be it.
And what good timing that this shit hits the fan right at the end of this miserable decade.
 
Almost there.

Finalle

Resistance arrives and attack star destroyers,
(It's the backup from all different planets the Falcon brodcasted help to. Last Order guy akss how they got this army and someone responds that they arent they are just people, helping)

Addition: Zorri is also here, how did she leave Kijmi? I dont fucking know

Finn and Jannah go to fight them in a suicide mission and they succeed,
(happened earlier as said in my post)

ADDITION/Edit: If you are wondering why not use lightspeed to destroy the ships? Well fuck you nerds JJ got this, previously before resistance goes to attack Exegol someone in resistance asks this refering to it as Holdo move. and Poe awnsers "Wouldnt work that was a one in a million shot". . . . No seriously, that is it, then they continue. Fuck you JJ

Lando saves them.
(Happens later)

Rey is wounded and Kylo protects her, he is thrown a pit and Sidious tells him this is the punishment he deserves, he says he will never be seen again. Rey gets angry and tries to get up but she can't
(Addition: Palpy uses his lighitng powers to shoot up in to the sky at the resistance fleet and they all beging to fall down and Rey sees this and begins to ask from all the former Jedi if they are with her, she did this same thing in the start of the film when training with Leia but it didnt work

then she hears voices of past jedi such as Anakin, Luke, Leia, Yoda, Kenobi, Mace Windu, Qui Gon and gets up makes and X with both lightsabers and reverts her grandfather's force lightning back at him melting him and an explosion occurs in the arena.
(Addition: She gets up and Palpy focuses his lightning on her and the resistance ships continue the fight. Palpy then says that she cant defeat her because all the previous sith are within him, Rey retorts that all the Jedi are with her and blaah blaah, I believe this part was leaked right?)

(Additon,capital ship gets destroyed by Finn and Jainnah and this is where Lando comes to save them)

Kylo climbs up and finds a dead Rey he says oh no no, please don't let this happen. He uses the force healing trick he stole from her during the force bond and ressurects her, when she wakes up and sees him saving her she kisses him and then Kylo dies in her arms.
(Addition, Kylo dissapears like Kenobi and Yoda)

Celebration across the galaxy happens, Zorri tries to leave but Poe says if he can come and she says well then get fast or I'll leave you here with the big monkey.
(Back in resistance base Poe looks at Zorri from affar and motions with his head to come and fuck, she motions no and thats it)

Addition: Lando speaks to Jainah and asks where she is from, she doesnt know due to being raised as a trooper from childhood and Lando offers to help her find out.

Rey goes to Tatooine with BB8, R2D2 and C3po and burns Kylo's body, she cries and then builds herself a new lightsaber.She ignites it, it's yellow.
(She came to Tatooine to Luke's old home to burry Luke's and Leias lightsaber, Rey's lightsaber is already built.

I think the stranger lady is Rey's mother because I think it was the same actress which I can't recognise,it's a new one.
(There is a falshback of Ochi killing Rey's parrents)

She smiles after seeing Kylo and drops a tear.
(False)


After that she watches the twin suns and cuts to music.The end.
Unfortunately true

So there we have it. If there is additional questions lemme have it
What happens to Finn after the battle?
 
"ok little anni, time to take your uh.... *midichlorian medicine* to help you become a big strong Jedi :evil: "
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OK, I went to lunch and now I'm only 30 pages behind (good LORD people), but I have to chime in that my parents and sister are at Disney World as we speak.........what must the mood be in Shillogy's Edge? Are there whisps of the cold chills of truth in the air? Or is everyone holding hands and worshipping the Mouse and reassuring themselves that all Mickey's Droppings are holy?

My family wouldn't tell me if I asked them. They've drunk more Koolaid than Jonestown.

On a side note: they tried to ride Rise of the Resistance yesterday and it FAILED twice and was shut down! Bwa ha ah haaaaa.....!!!
 
What appears to be a Rule 43 Snoke in, what (other than cock) were they smoking over at Marvel? Is it now canon that Luke sissified ol' Snoke?

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I...dont know. When I first saw it i thought it looked like a drumpf wig
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honestly im not sure whats the more mindfucking idea...snoke with a trump toupee or snoke as a tranny
We definitely need to make a compilation of Disney's horrible and mandatory movie DLC one of these days...
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Reminder that these among others are all mandatory if you want to understand the plot of IX. Especially this one:
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"An absolute must BUY" otherwise you won't understand how the Resistance became so big again or how Rey, Poe, 3PO, etc all became so buddy-buddy for no reason. Also the FO is literally nothing but a bunch of crazies who rule nothing and just go around molesting and bombing planets for no reason, with their only source of profit being casinos.

Also does anyone have that picture of Holdo's feminist homeplanet where everyone eats soy and cries in public while being ruled by a council of lesbians? @Flexo you had it right? Or was it @Judge Holden?
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But who repaired it after it lay crashed underwater for ten years? This is the one thing I want to know. Please don't make me watch the movie (eventually, no way I'm tithing the rat).

This to me is the most vile and infuriating thing they have done. The last images on film we get of Luke's X Wing is of this floor tile girl flying it...with no R2 in it. WTH seriously.
 
Is that even her fault though?

I mean, the character is written to be an OP plank, so....yeah. I also thought she had at least a little bit of charm in TFA. That all got sucked dry and is apparently nonexistent in IX, but I think she honest to God tried.

Apparently people are saying Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley do a good job in the film. Its the writing and direction that sucks ass.
 
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Even with Solo's disastrous performance, I thought this movie would probably just break even from the soyboy audience Disney has been grooming over the past decade. Nice to see I was fucking wrong.

I look forward to the box office numbers. Those stock values are hilarious, and we don't even know if the movie's a failure yet.
 
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