Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Atomic Wangler]

Wow, black women’s hair and menstruation IN SPAAAAAACE!

What a fucking weirdo, this is seriously who Disney hires to write Star Wars books?

I remember seeing that a few hundred pages back when people were wondering who the fuck Vi was, and I think it illustrates a major problem with the way "woke" writers execute their craft.

I keep seeing posts on other sites about how to world build "properly" that come across as complete nonsense. It's stuff like "How does this society handle disability?" Or "Who controls the wealth in this society?" It comes across as completely irrelevant at best and outright propagandist at worst.

Instead of having worldbuilding where the reader slowly gets to learn about the history of a setting through osmosis, we now get to understand the menstrual cycles and beauty products used by a character we don't like on a planet we don't care about.

 

[Fougaro]

Son sit down.

I have some bad news...

...and some worse news...

I have to agree with @Ow The Edge . It was bad, but not bad enough. As for Marvel, we'll have to wait and see. Until then, have faith in the Emprah!

 

[Markorian]

Reading the Forbes review where the guy bitched and moaned about it not following up on the amazing potential of TLJ had me giggling. Now the woke shills are mad because JJ tried to pivot back to the first brand of shit Disney Star Wars served up, and the fans are still mad because the second brand of shit the shills liked was still just shit and going back to the first isn't an improvement. It's like Disney designed this movie to please almost nobody.

Mind you, I still foresee it cracking a billion dollars. Fans gotta fan, and I do know some people who unironically enjoy it (and I pray for them and hope that they heal from their affliction soon). But the fact that some of the most egregious, insane, and insulting leaks turn out to be true? Oh my God-Emperor, this is incredible. I haven't felt this kind of schadenfreude since the 2016 election.

Even if it doesn't reach a billion in reality, disney's numbers will still claim it did, exactly like they did with craptain marvel.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

locked into one spot like he's going to Catholic mass

Wut?

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

Does Sheev have one of those stair contraptions you hook a hoveround into?

I guess the crane his body hangs on is basically like that

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

The Hollywood shills: "ThErE Is No fEmAle RePrEsEnTaTiOn In MeDiA!"

Meanwhile:

Don't forget Scarlett O'Hara, Mildred Pierce, Thelma & Louise, Baby Jane Hudson, Ripley, Nikita, Jane Tenison, and Rebecca

 

[AnOminous]

it's pretty ironic considering Chewie's high-profile death back in the EU

Why do they have Transformers crap at Disney? That's a Universal ride.

seriously Oz is really weird shit

Sherlock fandom was the original spastic fandom when they hassled the author to bring the dude back from the dead.
And they've been gaying them up at least as long as Kirk/Spock as far as I've ever heard.

They had to put it in the show bible to quit submitting Kirk/Spock porn as scripts. The term "slash" for this kind of porn comes from the slash in that phrase.

 

[RumblyTumbly]

Reading the Forbes review where the guy bitched and moaned about it not following up on the amazing potential of TLJ had me giggling.

Okay, here's my dumb question for the Forbes Reviewer. What potential? I mean how did they expect TLJ to be followed up?

Rian blew up every storyline. The only hanging threads were Kylo Ren being the big bad and being beyond redemption and "Empire Vs. Rebellion...again".

 

[HumanHive]

If Japan can't do live action anime right, Disney defiantly won't.

Japan's film industry is infamously in a dark age. Television is where all the money is at, movies barely get much budget.

 

[Fougaro]

I want to remind everyone that Kylo Ren was a way better character in Devil May Cry 5.

 

[XYZpdq]

Hasbro makes the Disney toys. Disney sells hasbro stuff at the parks.

For a good long while Disney World was the way to purchase exceedingly rare transformers shit. There was a version of Optimus that only had 10,000 made and 8,000 were available at Disney World(this was during The Beast Era where original transformers were not referenced at all). It's also one of the larger Optimus figures IIRC outside of masterpiece it's one of the biggest coming in at 15 inches tall.

huhn. I was firmly TRUKK NOT MUNKY so that explains why I didn't notice, but yeah other than Mitsukoshi from the late 90s onward , bootleg Braves over at China (that isn't even a joke) mid-late 90s and a billion years ago at Centorium I don't recall robot cartoon toys.

I will literally glass you at the bar for a fucking lie like that.

Bumblebee can only be considered good in the way being impaled on a burning red poker is good compared to having your eyes burned out first.

Bumblebee was the 80's as remembered by someone born on New Years Eve 1989, and that's just the fucking START of the goddamn problems with that piece of shit. From the weapons, to the vehicles, to the fact that I'm supposed to believe that during one of the most paranoid times in history the US military would let any fucking interstellar robots anywhere NEAR ARPANET to the fact her father played bedroom music while working on the car with his daughter to the fact they couldn't get the soundtrack right to EVERY OTHER FUCKING THING.

That movie was a "memberberrie" dumpster fire of shit.

It had the G1 designs

Ironic how it's hatred of the 9th movie of the Starwars franchise, the same franchise t that ultimately united the fanbase.

If Japan can't do live action anime right, Disney defiantly won't.

There's that live action Dragonball The Magic Begins and the one out of South Korea

They had to put it in the show bible to quit submitting Kirk/Spock porn as scripts. The term "slash" for this kind of porn comes from the slash in that phrase.

exactly

 

[Secret Asshole]

So I've had time to ruminate and the problem from the epic failure that is Disney's trilogy is readily apparent: No matter what you do, you've completely fucked up the universe for the foreseeable future. You basically need to do whatever you can and retcon this trilogy. Because no matter what, this ruins cool shit like 'The Mandalorian'.

I know some people don't like it (EVS doesn't, but I think he has SJW cancer, he sees them everywhere), but its a great episodic combination serial with a great 1980s cowboy scifi aesthetic. The music reeks of Enrico Morricone and the whole thing has a Spaghetti Western vibe after the US Civil War where you had veterans from both sides listless as the country tried to glue itself back together. Mando is like an independent cowboy and shit. Its such a great show.

So how do you do cool, smart shit when people like Rian Johnson and JJ Faggot have fucked the Franchise into the dirt? Iger is a fucking moron, Kennedy is drunk on box wine and valium half the time and the writers room is full of trash who can't write. The whole entirety of Lucasfilm is necrotic tissue that needs to be culled.

Even if it doesn't reach a billion in reality, disney's numbers will still claim it did, exactly like they did with craptain marvel.

Disney can shift reality and pretend in the media that's the way it went, but Disney is pragmatic. They didn't even do a Captain Marvel 2 and chickened out at making her head of the MCU. They know the actual reality.

Kathleen Kennedy and her team are fucktarded goblins who have no absolute fuck what is going on. To be fair, neither does Iger. He's a boomer and then some and would have fucked up the MCU completely without Fiegie.

In truth, Disney should bite the bullet and golden parachute Kennedy and her entire loyalist army from Lucas film. Install the creators of 'The Mandalorian'. Work on shows before the 'Skywalker trilogy' and slowly begin to retcon the trilogy entirely. Pull a Star Trek and make two universes and time lines, quietly sun setting the adventures of sexless androgynous Rey.

 

[Pissmaster]

Ironic how it's hatred of the 9th movie of the Starwars franchise, the same franchise t that ultimately united the fanbase.

If Japan can't do live action anime right, Disney defiantly won't.

Disney can't do live-action versions of their own classics right, like Aladdin and The Lion King. This has been a turbo-shitty year for Disney movies, and that's even apparent to me, someone who couldn't give a flying fuck about Disney.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Does Sheev have one of those stair contraptions you hook a hoveround into?

hoveround... hoveround... hoveround...

Now I’m free to see the world!

 

[School of Fish]

Say what you want about the Star Wars prequels but at least they gave us great memes.

The Star Wars sequels however? I don't even know how to even make these fun even with using dank memes. It's just shit.

 

[TJ-Weber]

MFW when critics are only shitting on it because it shit on Rian's vision from TLJ

 

[Marissa Moira]

huhn. I was firmly TRUKK NOT MUNKY so that explains why I didn't notice, but yeah other than Mitsukoshi in the late 90s , bootleg Braves over at China (that isn't even a joke) and a billion years ago at Centorium I don't recall robot cartoon toys.

Primal Prime was both, He was G1 Optimus in a new body(despite it being a repaint of Optimal Optimus, it also had some internal retooling with the electronics and missile firing mechanisms). Came at the final wave of beast machines.

He is very rare to find and really wasn't available at retail and was not a Disney Exclusive but they inadvertently got the lion's share of the order. Beast machines was axed early because shit wasn't selling, they had to use Car Robots/RID as a stop gap and the US version of Car Robots got a few leftover Beast machine toys roped into it (two repaints of Megabolt Megatron, Air Attack Optimus Primal, Cerberus named Bruticus, Cryotek, Stormjet, Jhiaxus, a few vehicon repaints)

Epcot sold most of the Transformer toys. They had some over at Magic Kingdom in Tomorrowland too.


He almost had a new toy for generations (art exists of the redco of POTP Optimal Optimus) so he may wind up appearing in Generation Selects just like how Stepper and Red Swoop did.

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

Well I have done my part and witnessed the final insult of JarJar and brought to you the confirmations you all seek. Now I must slumber and go to rest.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Here's a rare interview with Carrie from 2012. She said people kept claiming she didn't want to play Princess Leia.

 

[Slowboat to China]

Okay, here's my dumb question for the Forbes Reviewer. What potential? I mean how did they expect TLJ to be followed up?

Rian blew up every storyline. The only hanging threads were Kylo Ren being the big bad and being beyond redemption and "Empire Vs. Rebellion...again".

I genuinely am not sure. I read the review and was left with the impression that the author was just ticked that it, I dunno, validated those crying manbaby awful fans who don't understand the character-driven masterpiece that was TLJ. Somehow.

Relevant excerpts:

"It inflicts additional damage to the legacy of the first six Star Wars movies. It undermines the previous two “episodes” in the name of giving (some but not all) original-trilogy Star Wars fans a reassuring pat on the head. It even shies away from The Force Awakens’ darker real-world implications. It is so concerned with character reveals and “chase the MacGuffin” plotting that it finds no time for any real character work ...

"... It’s not just that Rise of Skywalker undoes Last Jedi’s “it’s not your franchise anymore” metaphors—aimed at a generation that grew up loving Star Wars and then allowed two Palpatine-ish leaders (George W. Bush and Trump) to come into power—for generic “don’t worry, Star Wars is still the best!” fan bait. It’s that this is the only real reason this movie exists. It is focused on plot over character and is written with the “we got to stop that laser!” intelligence of a bad Saturday morning cartoon. "

Apparently, character exploration was a strength of TLJ. Who knew?