Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I need prayers, fellow Kiwis. I am going tonight, and I don't see Joel and the bots anywhere.

I will however be glad to report on the level of dumpsterfire. I can tell you that there are EMPTY SEATS still left at this 7:30 premiere, so that's something.
 
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PseudoScrooge said:
I need prayers, fellow Kiwis. I am going tonight, and I don't see Joel and the bots anywhere.

As I said many pages ago--but again since we have lots of new folks--I have rather a unique situation: in a masterstroke of manipulation, my 22-year old, who knew I did not want to see this film in theaters, pulled a fast one and ordered tickets for opening night, THEN turned around and made the tickets CHRISTMAS PRESENTS for me and my wife, and included the younger kids to make it "about family." Yep.

He's a full-on lover of TLJ and Ruin Johnson, and it's my secret hope that this shitshow will turn him around. But I'm not holding my breath. I will however be glad to report on the level of dumpsterfire. I can tell you that there are EMPTY SEATS still left at this 7:30 premiere, so that's something.
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Please post a pic of the auditorium before it kicks off so we can see how empty it is, and also report back on how many sad speds are in cosplay or whooping and hollering and seal-clapping at anything Rey does.
 
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Judge Holden said:
MRW I see the entire fucking internet explode in horrified fury at just how shit the movie and the sequal trilogy as a whole truly are
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Speaking of Count Dooku, lol at the fact that even though the actor portraying him was in his 80s, his fight and action scenes were leagues more enjoyable, tense and authentic than any of Rey/Ridley's.

Also lol at the multiple levels of failure it takes to cast the main protagonist of the most legendary and famous entertainment franchise of the modern era with an actress who can't emote or act well at all, is terrible at fight choreography/action/physicality, and also lacks any of the leading-role "it" characteristics or onscreen charisma that might offset some of her other drawbacks.
 
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Tour of Italy said:
You’ve all been duped, the Ep. IX backlash is a plot to distract from the impeachment vote.

Seriously though, it’s been quite the busy day.
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Plan IX bombing is a distraction from impeachment? ... Or is impeachment a distraction from Plan IX bombing?
Pee Wee Herman said:
Hilarious reaction to this guy on 4chan
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I'm starting to think that the main thing H. G. Wells got wrong in The Time Machine was making the Eloi pretty and lovable. The RL Eloi are gross, unfuckable, and people you don't even want to be around.
 
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vertexwindi said:
Oh man, I completely forgot:

This past Sunday me and the missus were eating at a Japanese all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. Me and her started in bafflement at this guy who walked in who was so fat he could've occupied two seats. He was dining with a woman and he started loudly talking about Star Wars to her and I had to hold my laughter in. I could barely hear her over him. Talk about stereotypical.
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Did you ask Boogie for his autograph?
 
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Don’t know if it’s been posted yet (this thread is currently going at light speed) but, Papa Palpatine apparently has super force lightning that he uses to attack the resistance fleet or some such. Why am I pointing this out? Well Marvel only now has deemed it fit to give Kylo an origin comic and this is one of the scenes:
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So yeah, apparently Kylo didn’t destroy the Jedi Temple.
 
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Rey suddenly is powerful enough to force pull a whole ship. Kylo (walking off injury free from crashing at 500 mph in a fireball) then turns it into a tug of war contest, all while Finn watches.

Meanwhile, I'm wondering why Finn just doesn't simply shoot Kylo while he has his guard down.
 
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Suburban Bastard said:
Immediately after my last post, Kylo snatches Rey's necklace thingamajig

The implications of the dark side being capable of that are FUCKING IMMENSE- Oh he's using it to identify which planet Rey is on, I guess that makes se- Wait, how are the first order there already?

SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

Edit: and IMMEDIATELY gets shot by an arrow, complete with a figure telling the crew "Follow me!"

This all happens in ONE fucking minute

The infamous double edit: It's Lando
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That's the typical JJ crap. He thinks that something has to happen every X minutes, it doesn't matter if the unit of time or distance is ignored. See for example that pursuit with the Falcon at the beginning, jumping randomly from planet to planet while a squadron of Tie is right behind. If he can't shove a MacGuffin an item from the Mystery Box then the dialogues must go fast, once at the base on the jungle planet there's 3 or 4 minutes of exposition where each character cut someone else mid sentence, like a bad Aaron Sorkin screenplay.
Also holy shit those Leia scenes are creepy. I'm sure the camrip doesn't help but it's so weird... it reminds me of that scene from The Sopranos:

 
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Suburban Bastard said:
Rey suddenly is powerful enough to force pull a whole ship. Kylo (walking off injury free from crashing at 500 mph in a fireball) then turns it into a tug of war contest, all while Finn watches.

Meanwhile, I'm wondering why Finn just doesn't simply shoot Kylo while he has his guard down.
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Mary Sue - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
 
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Ginger Piglet said:
Can anyone explain the in universe rationale for horse riding on the surface of a star destroyer? Why they couldn't grab something that, I don't know, was faster and harder to shoot with fixed emplacement guns, like, I dunno, a fighter of some variety?

Edit: And where did the horses come from anyhow?
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I have no intent of watching this trashfire, but isn’t the ship supposed to be in space? How is there oxygen and gravity on the ship’s hull?
 
45 minutes mark. Because the "the final order" wasn't subtle enough, we need to have a scene showcasing first order troops (or is it final order troops now?) going around the city of....., a city and barging into homes and kidnapping innocent aliens.

Meanwhile the main crew contributes fuck all to what the place is, what's going on, and why they're all wearing black hoodies.
 
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Suburban Bastard said:
45 minutes mark. Because the "the final order" wasn't subtle enough, we need to have a scene showcasing first order troops (or is it final order troops now?) going around the city of....., a city and barging into homes and kidnapping innocent aliens.

Meanwhile the main crew contributes fuck all to what the place is, what's going on, and why they're all wearing black hoodies.
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Sounds like a hamfisted attempt at saying something about ICE
 
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Suburban Bastard said:
45 minutes mark. Because the "the final order" wasn't subtle enough, we need to have a scene showcasing first order troops (or is it final order troops now?) going around the city of....., a city and barging into homes and kidnapping innocent aliens.

Meanwhile the main crew contributes fuck all to what the place is, what's going on, and why they're all wearing black hoodies.
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Which is not efficient evil. You need to occupy the city because if you just kidnap everyone you won't have an economy as nobody's doing all the work.

This is stupid.
 
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