Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I'm of the opinion that the people behind Disney bought and intentionally destroyed Star Wars as a revenge against Lucas making Watto and making several other negative comments about the (((people))) in hollywood.

I don't see how anyone could reasonably believe that this unmitigated disaster happened by chance, that they spent 4 billion and just let it all go to shit because nobody planned anything about how to use it.

Well, we did have that guy in the thread whose friend was a consultant for Lucasfilm.

He said they were intentionally tanking the merchandise so Disney could get better deals....

It seems like they are moving away from Hasbro and replacing them with Mattel...

 

[BipolarPon]

Wow, are you psychic? Because I can't see how anyone else could've guessed that.

View attachment 1058965
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
This is not a Science fiction movie, this is a body horror movie.

Can these movies at least have one appealing alien to look at?

 

[frozenrunner]

View attachment 1058965
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
This is not a Science fiction movie, this is a body horror movie.

Stop body shaming

 

[Saxxon]

Hey, remember the jedi mind trick? Remember when Obi wan did it? It was cool did you remember?

And before someone says it: yes the prequels did someting similar with Qui Gon Jinn, but the point was that he was Obin wan master and that's where he learn it. I don't remember Rey ever talking to Obin wan nor Luke teaching her that trick.

 

[JongleJingle]

Well, I am heading off Kiwis.

Off into Hell.

I go by myself, because bringing my family into this would bring nothing but shame and depression.

The theater I booked has next to ZERO seats filled. The worst part is that it's a rather popular theater to go to as well, so with THAT knowledge...

I'm away.

When the localized mental trauma screening film is over, I will provide thoughts and insights for those that need them.

Bon voyage, and best of luck in your future endeavors, all.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

I finally got to the force healing part; didn't know the powers of the jedi made you a living stimpack.

Also, what in the seven hells killed Leia? Did she just like, give up for no reason? lol

 

[Monolith]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

 

[Digital Thunder]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

Hey, one can derive genuine joy from the Holiday Special, even if it's for all the wrong reasons.

 

[TenMilesWide]

Wow that part were Kylo and Rey are pulling the ship with their force powers is just... so fucking stupid! Specially with how easiness they seems to be doing it, Luke had to pull almost all of his forces to pick up his X-wing and these two fucks make it look a children's game.

Luke put in all his effort and couldn't lift his x-wing. He called it impossible.

And by that point he had considerably more training in the force than Rey had in the whole trilogy here. Baffling.

Also, what in the seven hells killed Leia? Did she just like, give up for no reason? lol

Like mother, like daughter. Just lost the will to live.

 

[Silent Observer]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

I don't think The Holiday Special was nearly as damaging to the continuity. Not to mention we got "STIR, WHIP, STIR!"

 

[Raging Capybara]

Just like her real life death then.

....just with less meth

It rhymes.

 

[Oaat]

Via /r/starwarsleaks, a bunch of new clips recorded by a girl:

My Escape World

Reylo till the end (spoilers : it will never end)

pinkleg.tumblr.com

Here's Han-Ben convo:

My Escape World

Kylo Ren dies and Ben Solo rises

pinkleg.tumblr.com

It is a blatant retread of their last conversation in TFA, but most importantly, the "I know" is there, despite what previously claimed here:



So who knows, a bunch of other idiotic parts of the movie that seemed to be disproved may still be there after all...

The videos are gone now but oh boy I found this:

 

[Suburban Bastard]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

Star Wars The Holiday Special didn't have the Palpatine and Rey standoff, and that's all I need to know.

 

[Saxxon]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

The special is something you watch for shit n' giggles, it doesn't really affect the whole plot of the movies. Rise is supposed to be the end of a 40+ movie saga.

 

[School of Fish]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

That's a bad comparison because the Star Wars Holiday Special was just a low budget and poorly written television special that was aired only once.

This Star Wars movie however is a movie with a multi-million dollar budget in which I'm sure that they spent a lot of money on the actors, the scripts, the audio footage, and the special effects too.

So they probably spent a few thousand dollars in today's money to produce the Star Wars Holiday Special while this shit I'm sure costed millions to even produce.

 

[FlightOfTheBumbleBee]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

The Star Wars Holiday Special is an experimental art movie compared to The Rise of Skywalker.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

Even the Holiday Special is better.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Everyone saying that Rise of Skywalker was the worst Star Wars has completely forgotten about the Holiday Special.

Frankly, I like the basic idea behind the Holiday Special. It's basically a variety show where the single acts are tied together with an overarching setting of a family preparing for a holiday. I can respect it for this kind of novel idea...

The execution is an utter shitshow, though. Boring acts, annoying characters, endless wookie grunting. Fuck me. It's really fucking bad.

But TLJ on the other hand, is just Ruin wanking himself raw over how S-M-R-T he is and how amazing it is, to replace the things that fans and people invested in the movie expect with ... nothing. Plan IX, can't tell yet, but it seems to be a rather desperate and awkwardly cobbled together mess without even a tiny bit of creativity to be found. Where TLJ is malevolent, Plan IX is just outright cynical in how mechanical it assembles its plot with focus tested group bullshit and committy-approved lameness.

The videos are gone now but oh boy I found this:

View attachment 1059021

FFS. There was closure for the trio 36 fucking years ago. Then Jarjar came and ruined it.
JarJar literally pried open a perfectly healthy body to tear its heart out, hook the body up to life-support and after he fucked off, Hospital staff allowed some roundheaded mongoloid to take a shit into the open cavity. To the utter surprise of the Hospital staff, this lead to a severe septic shock and when Dr. JarJar finally came back he just threw his hands into the air, wiped as much shit out the massive wound as he could and replaced the missing organ with a whoopie cushion.

 

[The Nothingness]

That image of Force Ghost Luke and Leia reminded me of the ending from Happy Gilmore.

 

[BlueCandle]

The Holiday Special also had the Bea Arthur cantina scene, which is better written than anything in the new trilogy combined, and consists mainly of an old woman leading a march of drunken men wearing rubber masks and a giant rat in circles around a bar to music.