Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[JongleJingle]

I return, and after a few hours of agonized screaming, furious prayer to the God Emperor and crashing into slumber, I bring my first hand experience.

I'll just say it now, and agree with the unfortunate others such as myself who saw this in theaters (Fortunately, I didn't pay; see a million pages back because Jesus Christ this thread moves fast); This movie is TRASH.

Plot? Coherent story lines? Likeable characters? What is this sorcery you speak of? Clearly Jar Jar Abrams knows best, he barely needs to have such things!

The text crawl straight up reveals the big plot twist of the ENTIRE trilogy, and as stated the reveal of Palatine is COMPLETELY out of left field. Were you to watch this without TLJ, I would argue it would make more sense.

Kylo does his thing, shit goes down, I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP AT ONE POINT, and fortunately I awoke just when shit was going down at the final bits of the film.

Folks, this just might be the most anticlimactic, cliche, and boring final fight I HAVE EVER WITNESSED. Fucking MARVEL knew that you needed an awesome end fight, but instead here we have HORSES ON STARSHIPS and DBZ ENERGY FIGHTS.

Good lord, I'm thankful I didn't pay any money for this. Do you guys wanna know how EMPTY the theater was when the movie started?

There was a grand total of 5 DIFFERENT PEOPLE, myself included. Two of which was a mother and her son who just couldn't shut the fuck up and screeched whenever Palpatine showed up, and the other two were a couple obviously planning for some shit in the cover of darkness. I had the absolute middle seat, while the couple were in the very far left. The mum and kid were to the next of me, unfortunately.

So there you have it. A horrendous film for the ages, and one that will leave me scarred. Now excuse me, I have to kill some cloned soldiers with my slow mo powers; it's the one thing that will soothe my wounds.

 

[Dual Rectifier]

I haven't seen the movie yet. But all of the lines I've heard have the emotional weight and impact of a Sonic the Hedgehog line. Not a compliment.

 

[Fluoxetine Man]

It just happens to be a once in a lifetime manuveur that works just when the heroes and the strong whammen needs it to work.

Don't ask questions just consume product and get excited for next products.

 

[ThePurpleProse]

I return, and after a few hours of agonized screaming, furious prayer to the God Emperor and crashing into slumber, I bring my first hand experience.

I'll just say it now, and agree with the unfortunate others such as myself who saw this in theaters (Fortunately, I didn't pay; see a million pages back because Jesus Christ this thread moves fast); This movie is TRASH.

Plot? Coherent story lines? Likeable characters? What is this sorcery you speak of? Clearly Jar Jar Abrams knows best, he barely needs to have such things!

The text crawl straight up reveals the big plot twist of the ENTIRE trilogy, and as stated the reveal of Palatine is COMPLETELY out of left field. Were you to watch this without TLJ, I would argue it would make more sense.

Kylo does his thing, shit goes down, I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP AT ONE POINT, and fortunately I awoke just when shit was going down at the final bits of the film.

Folks, this just might be the most anticlimactic, cliche, and boring final fight I HAVE EVER WITNESSED. Fucking MARVEL knew that you needed an awesome end fight, but instead here we have HORSES ON STARSHIPS and DBZ ENERGY FIGHTS.

Good lord, I'm thankful I didn't pay any money for this. Do you guys wanna know how EMPTY the theater was when the movie started?

There was a grand total of 5 DIFFERENT PEOPLE, myself included. Two of which was a mother and her son who just couldn't shut the fuck up and screeched whenever Palpatine showed up, and the other two were a couple obviously planning for some shit in the cover of darkness. I had the absolute middle seat, while the couple were in the very far left. The mum and kid were to the next of me, unfortunately.

So there you have it. A horrendous film for the ages, and one that will leave me scarred. Now excuse me, I have to kill some cloned soldiers with my slow mo powers; it's the one thing that will soothe my wounds.

Post pics faggot!

 

[HollaGemini]

I cant watch more than 5 mintues of it at a time. I keep pausing it when it gets bad.

*gets into a fight, it ends in a draw*
"We could really use your help"
"Not that you care, but I think youre okay"
"I care"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!?!?!

 

[Jester69]

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When she just gets up without changing her expression from "corpse" to "living." My sides dude.

 

[Irwin M. Felcher]

I'm not sure where the screaming about Nazis marketing strategy arose, as it has yet to work even once.

I think it arose from Hollywood people constantly screaming about Nazis anyway, and since Marketing knew it would be more than their jobs were worth to try and get them to stop at all, they just decided to run with it as best they could.

 

[Taraxacum]

Finally caught up lot of good points being made. JJ was on a bad spot I think, I mean anyone for whom this wasn't their first movie ever knew that TLJ was unredeemable. I mean the Luke stuff and space ghost Leia wasn't even the bad part. The writing was terrible, Luke and Rey's interaction was painful, and most of the movie (like the entire rich-bitch-genocide diversion) was completely pointless to the story, whose main thrust was so dumb it could have been explained in a sentence. I see people saying that TFA had potential and I agree, the idea of a race between a broken rebellion and broken empire to find Like, who turns out to not be what either of them expected was a clever idea with lots of possibilities. But that idea was trashed almost immediately because let's be honest, after casting they stopped working seriously on the movie, they'd already accomplished what they wanted to accomplish. (And the point where R2 turns back on for no other reason than that the other plotlines have resolved themselves was really gratuitous). Which brings me back to my original point. TFA was bad, so to watch TLJ, you forget it. TLJ was atrocious, so to watch TRoS you forget it. That's not a way to run a series folks, doesn't matter what it is. And that is what makes this trilogy uniquely awful in movie history, IMHO.

 

[JongleJingle]

Post pics faggot!

Didn't bring my phone with me, you may assblast me for my idiocy.

 

[Safir]

AotC is underrated:

All of the prequel trilogy is underrated. The annoying shit in it isn't inherently bad, it's misplaced. Few people wanted to watch baby Vader or awkward teen Vader, but an excited kid racing a cool vehicle or a teenager bungling his confession aren't inherently bad things to see in a movie.

TRoS is trash.

So they are hewing close to the forefront of wokeism so their shit can still be on the "right side of history" and making money for the next 100 years.

But the only agenda the C-levels push is "making money".

I don't want to do another long gay post about Twitter distortion, but the tl;dr is social media, Twitter primarily but also face book, are where all 'audience engagement' has moved to because of the easy and speed of feedback.
They haven't really woken (ha!) up to the fact Twitter is very small, is not indicative of general demographics, and the small minority of active users even less so.

I doubt they care about making money for Disney, especially for the next 100 years. They care about making money for themselves, keeping their jobs or failing upward. The data science snake oil bubble is even bigger than Disney; snake oil audience metrics sampled from wokeshit cesspits allow them to hitch their wagon to that bubble and provide a good excuse afterward: "we used the best data available, shit happens". Especially when "everyone" knows questioning the shitty data and therefore endangering their livelihood means siding with the Nazis: break ranks, get Damore'd out.

a dude who hates what he does and doesn't put any effort into it.

Hard disagree. A soy podcast is no effort. E;R's videos are wonderfully scripted and edited works of art. There are more jokes per second than the human eye can see, you seriously need to run them at like x0.25 and precision-pause.

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Given this, that was never on the table.

Is this, like, the same woman cloned eight times? I'm bad with faces.

 

[Dumb Bitch Smoothie]

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Given this, that was never on the table.

The sad part is there are plenty of women out there who do know what the fuck to do with Star Wars but KK passes on them for not playing politics or letting her put her self-insert Mary Sues into every fucking thing.

Kathleen hires women and men that she can manipulate and already share her wokeness.

Hell, there were tons of men who wanted in but she passed on them for those reasons. Favreau wanted in for a long time and Kathleen ignored him.

 

[DrunkJoe]

Glad im passing on this shitshow. Lifelong star wars fan. I spray painted the skull from bobba fetts shoulder pad on my welding helmet. 5 years ago if you would have told me I would not see a star wars movie in the theatre I would have punched you. Fuck Kennedy and what she did to the franchise.

 

[Fluoxetine Man]

'Merry Christmas, you know what that sound is? That's the sound of a thousand executives just taking a shit on my work.'

 

[Leibowitz]

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Hmm, once you switch the audience rating from verified to all, it drops about 9%.

Metacritic is a little less charitable, with critic scores at 54 and user scores at 5.3.

 

[Fluoxetine Man]

Fuck Kennedy and what she did to the franchise.

She may have fucked the franchise, but she can never take away the good memories of Star Wars.

 

[Toast Sandwich]

The sad part is there are plenty of women out there who do know what the fuck to do with Star Wars but KK passes on them for not playing politics or letting her put her self-insert Mary Sues into every fucking thing.

Yeah it's a bit of a sad irony that there was already a history of women playing major roles in sci-fi production, and now it's been wiped away by these forced efforts to boost "representation". To my knowledge there used to be more women involved than you would've expected when it came to things like the '90s era Trek shows, for example, and you got good results because they were all there in the pursuit of a common goal: The application of autism. Now that's all gone, never to return.

 

[qu_rahn]

The palpatine super lightning attack is something to behold. I couldn't believe how exceptional this scene was. Literally something out of DBZ.

 

[Taraxacum]

All of the prequel trilogy is underrated.

I think we can say that, for all it's faults, at the very least, it didn't fail in the most basic elements of coherent storytelling. TFA, TLJ, and TRotS all fail on that level, individually and as a series.

 

[Dumb Bitch Smoothie]

Yeah it's a bit of a sad irony that there was already a history of women playing major roles in sci-fi production, and now it's been wiped away by these forced efforts to boost "representation". To my knowledge there used to be more women involved than you would've expected when it came to things like the '90s era Trek shows, for example, and you got good results because they were all there in the pursuit of a common goal: The application of autism. Now that's all gone, never to return.

It's astounding that they were able to go out there and find a demographic of women across ages and races that all equally don't care about Star Wars and couldn't do sci-fi even if their lives depended on it.

 

[Toast Sandwich]

I think we can say that, for all it's faults, at the very least, it didn't fail in the most basic elements of coherent storytelling. TFA, TLJ, and TRotS all fail on that level, individually and as a series.

The original trilogy and the prequels both succeeded at being bold and imaginative, no matter what other faults may have been present to different degrees. The prequels had a lot of problems, but at least they retained that strong quality about them. The closest you get to the same thing in the sequels is TLJ, where its imagination is centered around the willing destruction of what came before it.

Spraypainting all over a Rembrandt might be a "creative" act in some sense but it's not exactly at the same level as the creation of the painting itself...