Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Clockwork_PurBle]

Have they found a way to blame the alt-right and men for the godawful reception?

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

Grain of salt, etc.

 

[WaltherPPGAY]

Have they found a way to blame the alt-right and men for the godawful reception?

The narrative emerging among critics is that the film is bad because it gives alt-right man babies what they wanted.

Early preview numbers from boxofficemojo:

FRIDAY AM UPDATE: Disney's Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker delivered $40 million from Thursday evening previews, serving as the fifth largest preview gross ever. The performance comes in $5 million behind the $45 million preview gross for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which went on to deliver a $220 million three-day domestic debut. A breakdown of preview showings for the previous two entries in the Skywalker saga are below.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

• Thursday Previews: $57 Million (47.8% of Friday Gross)
• Friday Gross: $119.1 Million (48% of Weekend Gross)
• Weekend Gross: $247.9 Million

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

• Thursday Previews: $45 Million (42.9% of Friday Gross)
• Friday Gross: $104.68 Million (47.5% of Weekend Gross)
• Weekend Gross: $220 Million

In addition to its domestic launch, The Rise of Skywalker is now open in 46 international markets and after two days has brought in $59.1 million with the UK serving as the largest performance yet, bringing in $8.3 million on its opening day followed by Germany ($7.2m), France ($5.3m), Australia ($4.3m), China ($3.6m), Mexico ($2.4m), Brazil ($2.2m), Italy ($2.1m), Sweden ($2.0m), Norway ($1.5m), Russia ($1.4m) and Denmark ($1.3m).

tldr; ~12% drop from TLJ to Rots.

 

[Salubrious]

*My goodness, the Macguffin scavenger hunt. We know originally this was to benefit the time-travel storyline, but wow, the running around gets tedious.

Wait. What time travel storyline? Did I miss something?

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I didn't see this request in time, but it was one of those really small theaters with lots of space between the aisles. So not a large-capacity room, but there were still a handful of empty seats at the 7:30 show. I heard from a friend that another theater in town was maybe 80% full.

Here are my random thoughts on PLAN 9 in no particular order:

*As we have seen, the opening crawl makes it sound like Palpatine is broadcasting on K-SITH and has been for a while, but this doesn't even happen until the end of the movie, and then only barely, and it's never explained how or why. Dumb. Just send out flyers.

*Awkward pacing that goes from rushed slapdash to standing still. More attempts at Marvel Movie-style humor that just aren't funny. One of two tiny smile moments, and the rest are groans. Lots of pointless obvious lines of exposition for the exceptional individuals in the audience. "You're a Palpatine." Worst was Hux actually yelling, "I'M THE SPY!" like he was in a comedy skit. Painful.

*My goodness, the Macguffin scavenger hunt. We know originally this was to benefit the time-travel storyline, but wow, the running around gets tedious.

*We already know how exceptional Rey is, but what struck me is the air of smugness in this movie. She struts around like its her universe(TM) and everyone else is slowing her down, and is constantly making faces. Maybe I'd never known to notice it before.
Oh, and besides what you know about the plot, she can still do anything. She can drive a bloody ocean skimmer like a bitch, despite growing up on a desert planet and never seeing water before! Oh, and now she has done a "BIT" of training, so we should finally refer to her as a Jedi. Really?

*Leia's scenes were awkward, used obvious body doubles, and were obvious when they were just Eps. 7 outtakes. They swore they'd never do it, the family swore they'd never do it, but the made Leia a CGI zombie in a flashback, and it looks like a Playstation game. We've seen it here, but it's dumber in person. She owns Luke in a fight, and why not, he's a worthless loser & failure, as we've been told. He sadly admits this as a ghost. By the way, Hamill is gruff and looks really pissed off, delivers most of his lines snarling.

*Speaking of Luke as a ghost: "Oh, yeah, you're a Palpatine? Yeah, we knew. Leia knew." What in the holy hell?

*Two moments of audience reaction. When Palpatine told Rey she was his, a teenage girl in the back screamed out "WHAT, SHE IS?!" but better than that, when the stupid, forced (sorry no other word for it than that) kiss occurs, which is sudden and almost violent, there were audible gasps and groans. The people that liked it thought it was done wrong, and the rest of us...well, you know.

*One of the points in the film is that, "last time, we asked for help, and nobody came." Some randoms keep telling Poe and others that "we aren't alone" which implies that if you believe it hard enough, it will happen. And then at the end, A BILLION ships show up. From where? Why? How? A First Order token black guy says "They're...just people." No they aren't, they are pilots with war machines....with as much explanation as Palpatine existing. Doesn't it imply that this billion ships didn't care to help last time, and are all bastards?

*No Lando's kids. He and the girl have a moment, where it's implied something dumb might happen, but Abrams chickened out of it at the last.

*The pandering dyke kiss is not background or hidden. A sweeping pan actually stops so we can see it. One of them is old, and I didn't get a great look at the other, but I don't think it was Fisher's daughter like we were told.

*Incidental count: Klaud's barely in it twice, a pair of Porgs are in it once for a millisecond.

*THE HOLDO MANEUVER. I just can't. It's a throwaway line that, let's be honest, CONFIRMS the last shitty movie, not disavows it, so there goes that argument.

*D-O is also barely set dressing, and actually speaks. I was surprised, but then again, we can't have him be another BB-8......he sounds like a kid with a walkie-talkie and serves no purpose other than to be cute and sell toys, both of which he FAILs hard at. Oh, but he's "full of information about Exegol." Well, I'll be; how lucky. He is found on Ochi's ship as we have heard and not at Babu Frik's....who by the way is a terrifying nipple-less monkey imp.

*Space horses riding on the surface of a Star Destroyer. One of the single dumbest things I've ever seen. We've talked about it, but i'ts just. so. dumb.

*The final final final battle with Rey and Palpatine.....here is the plot: he begs her to kill him, so she refuses, and kills him. It also happens relatively quickly with very little build-up or struggle, because after all, she is Rey. The stupid arena of cultists and the entire scene were such a Parry Hotter CGI cartoon, it was embarrassing.

*She gave Kylo a bit of her life, so in the end he gives her all of his...couldn't she have given him like 1/3 of hers, or pro-rate it or something? I mean, this is a thing now, it's a "new force power." Nope....she just lets him die. Space Messiah don't need no man.

*In the end, like folks have said around here, Palpatine wins. His spirit is free to go wherever it wants--who says it's not already possessing Rey? His line usurps and confiscates all Skywalker things that ever existed, and even takes their damn name. Somehow Rey knows about the Lars homestead, and where it is. And Rey being Rey, she can't even dig a proper hole. She just wills the lightsabers to be buried, like the final insult.

*Also, everyone: quit saying this movie is "better than Episode 8." That's a dumb and obvious statement, and doesn't help this movie at all. The worst thing that ever happened is better than Episode 8. It doesn't help your point. If you say that this movie checks all the boxes of dumb American popcorn CGI-cartoon movie with explosions, then you'd be saying something.

It may make money just for those reasons....It's a bit worrisome that you can hide bad writing with loud music, CGI, and explosions, but it requires thinking to see otherwise, and then we'd be expecting too much of people in general.

So, the books that Rey took in TLJ from the old Jedi Temple, do they show up again?

Wait. What time travel storyline? Did I miss something?

Very early leaks said there would be time travel shenanigans. There were rumours Rey would go back in time and become Shmi Skywalker. Not even kidding.

Then there were rumors of Kylo and Rey doing a fight where they flash through time and space, showing up on the Tantive IV, the Death Star, Naboo and so forth.

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

Grain of salt, etc.

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>Star Wars Detours
Today, I will remind them.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Grain of salt, etc.

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Not that I believe this in the slightest, but them trying to get Hamill back on a prequel series after TLJ did him ridiculously dirty despite his own protests seems like the most Disney Wars thing ever.

 

[verissimus]

Grain of salt, etc.

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A FUCKING MUSICAL THAT FOLLOWS REY! No goddamn way. HOW! WHY!

 

[Creep3r]

This thread is moving too fucking fast. At this rate I'll never catch up. Seriously people, slow down just a smidge.

Meanwhile, at Disney.....

Well this certainly explains alot about the sequel trilogy

Ironic that the media back then was willing to call out Jar Jar as a modern Steppin Fetchit yet they don't do the same for Finn/Boyega now despite the similarity being even more obvious and shameless.

How long do Wookies live? Like a while right?

So Chewie's going to live with some PTSD and loss for a while.

Hopefully him and Klaud can ride off into the sunset.

Like over 400 years in both old and new canon... They'll milk Chewbacca and Sheev's ghost for all future Disney Wars projects.

View attachment 1059289
Now this is scene is hilarious Leila dissolves like she was a fucking bath bomb or something. And what fucking anticlimactic battle, Palpatine is death so everyone on the final orden side just gives up and die like flies, how is that even supposed to work?

View attachment 1059318
Ah yes, the true hero of this trilogy Based Klaud enjoys his victory after a long and hard battle.
View attachment 1059338
Yes Disney, yes, so progressive those 3 seconds worth of a kiss will sure make all the faggots pround gay people swarm the cinemas to see your dump of million dollars. And the rest is history, god I can't believe that it's over, that was painful there's not a single moment that I enjoyed, how the fuck JJ, Iger, KK and company let this happen? It's a trainwreck, the pacing is horrible and very boring, half of the movie they just going in a treasure hunt with almost nothing in between is just so boring.

Well that's it, I'm sorry if my posts were uninteresting to some of you but I really needed to get it out. If there's any justice in this world Disney is about to be raped in the public reviews.

On my SO's screening, the crowd clapped during the lesbo kiss.

The dark-haired lesbo looks like a fucking dude. You wouldn't even be able to tell they're both chicks without taking a close enough look or having someone tell you about it without watching it more than once. The fact that it only lasts 3 seconds and is a background thing makes this shit all the more hilarious, as well as forced and pointless since despite JJ and Disney's bullshit claims of BBQ representation and loving GLAAD, in the end they still showed their true colors by giving most of the world what they wanted. Yet there are actually a few people saying that this terrible scene alone saves the movie while others are mad because of "queerbaiting" and think that the queerbaiting is the only reason this movie is terrible. People are too obsessed with this moral representation crusade bs to even think properly. Its like the people who got mad at Frozen 2 for not having any dykes but then proceeded to suck Disney's knob because a fucking Frozen tie-in novel no one outside of tumblr and Andrew Dobson clones will read has some female character mention her nonexistent wife. Then again these are the same fuckers who were initially bewildered or offended by some awful Gay Jesus movie but now love it because it was trending in the news. Disney audiences are not only superficial but fucking R-etarded trend followers.

George had gone on record stating he considered the old EU a parallel universe and that didn't stop people from declaring it their canon.

Though I guess GL didn't express open contempt for the EU.

It also helps that most people in general outside of OT purists didn't have contempt for the EU (casual moviegoers didn't even know it existed outside of mentions and maybe the two Clone Wars shows) like the vile contempt they did have for the prequels or the disney trilogy. Even Genndy Wars, KOTOR and the Thrawn Trilogy are still celebrated as being on par or almost on par with the OT unlike the prequels or Disney Trilogy.

lol, I just saw this movie in a hipster independent art theater in the most progressive city in the state, and ONE (1) person clapped, and these trogs were clapping for everyone.

Get rekt, coastfag.

Maybe there's hope for mankind after all.

why don't you incels FUCK OFF and come to terms with the fact this is the GREATEST Star Wars movie ever made

View attachment 1059536

So Wu weighs in at last and he loves it. Now we know for sure this film is without a doubt shit.

 

[ThePurpleProse]

*Also, everyone: quit saying this movie is "better than Episode 8." That's a dumb and obvious statement, and doesn't help this movie at all. The worst thing that ever happened is better than Episode 8. It doesn't help your point. If you say that this movie checks all the boxes of dumb American popcorn CGI-cartoon movie with explosions, then you'd be saying something.

Disney audiences are not only superficial but fucking R-etarded trend followers.

This so much, thanks both of you for saying it.

 

[Slimy Time]

*We already know how exceptional Rey is, but what struck me is the air of smugness in this movie. She struts around like its her universe(TM) and everyone else is slowing her down, and is constantly making faces. Maybe I'd never known to notice it before.
Oh, and besides what you know about the plot, she can still do anything. She can drive a bloody ocean skimmer like a bitch, despite growing up on a desert planet and never seeing water before! Oh, and now she has done a "BIT" of training, so we should finally refer to her as a Jedi. Really?

The one that irked me quite a bit was when they met Lando. It's the first time in all 3 movies we get to see old Lando. CP30 says "Hey guys, this is General Lando" and he gets cut off by Rey going "yeah we know". Then it has him asking the simple request to "give Leia his love", only for Rey to smugly say "You do it yourself".

That's an OG cast member/character with the OG actor, the last one alive, and the first time we see him you are going to have the MC treat him like trash. Fuck off.

*THE HOLDO MANEUVER. I just can't. It's a throwaway line that, let's be honest, CONFIRMS the last shitty movie, not disavows it, so there goes that argument.

That was bad as was the battle between Rey and Kylo in her mind. "I told you your parents were no ones...but thats because they wanted to be no ones" or something like that. You can see JJ retcon things in real time and in such an unsubtle manner.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Grain of salt, etc.

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Yeah, the broadway musical stuff is a bit much. It sounded plausible till that...

The red flag is Cassian Ando stuff, thats not on hiatus: thats filming in a couple weeks...

Goodluck getting Hammill doing anything with Star Wars....

Also, how the can they do more Clone Wars? Didn't the last season move into Episode 3?

 

[wholetthegodsout]

Does the movie explain why

Grain of salt, etc.

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Almost had me but the broadway musical was a bridge too far.

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE]

So, the books that Rey took in TLJ from the old Jedi Temple, do they show up again?


Very early leaks said there would be time travel shenanigans. There were rumours Rey would go back in time and become Shmi Skywalker. Not even kidding.

Then there were rumors of Kylo and Rey doing a fight where they flash through time and space, showing up on the Tantive IV, the Death Star, Naboo and so forth.

You know what. If they were gonna ham it up anyway, they should have just ham it up 200%.

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

By the way we're watching the Rise of Skywalker on movie night.

If you want to join us, do so. It'll be fun.

If you can't watch the movie, then go here for instructions on how to be able to.

Movie night has started now.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Grain of salt, etc.

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Why would anyone be interested in a New Jedi Order series? We all know how it ends. All the apprentices dead, the temple burned down, and Luke an angry old Hobo sucking blue milk from sea monsters while ranting about how he is such a failure at everything.

 

[Reverend]

By the way we're watching the Rise of Skywalker on movie night.

If you want to join us, do so. It'll be fun.

If you can't watch the movie, then go here for instructions on how to be able to.

When do you expect Roast of the SoyWalker to go live? I want to get some charts of the incoming DDOS when it hits.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Why would anyone be interested in a New Jedi Order series? We all know how it ends. All the apprentices dead, the temple burned down, and Luke an angry old Hobo sucking blue tard cum from sea monsters while ranting about how he is such a failure at everything.

They're not...

Unless Disney thinks they can do an animated version of Legends. Like an alternate reality type of thing for a cartoon series....

It really just hinges on how desperate they are and who is given the reigns....

I'm gonna guess Kennedy is done, Rian is done. Lucas, covertly, will probably get with Filoni and try to work/establish some proper creative team going forward. Lucas doesn't give s shit about Star Wars, but he cares about his company...

Favreau will get more influence and whoever he vetts...

The wild card is Feige, he is the most curious.

 

[Ghostse]

I doubt they care about making money for Disney, especially for the next 100 years. They care about making money for themselves, keeping their jobs or failing upward. The data science snake oil bubble is even bigger than Disney; snake oil audience metrics sampled from wokeshit cesspits allow them to hitch their wagon to that bubble and provide a good excuse afterward: "we used the best data available, shit happens". Especially when "everyone" knows questioning the shitty data and therefore endangering their livelihood means siding with the Nazis: break ranks, get Damore'd out.

Extreme long-term thinking is the Disney mindset, and usually borne out by their board.
100 years may be a slight exageration, but they still wringing money out of properties from the 30's that don't have minstrel characters in them. Walt was thinking of his children when he bought enough senators to change the copyright law, and the wisdom of that has stuck with the company's mind set and his daughters seem to keep the ship on that course.

Disney wants to make sure they are making "timeless" movies, because "timeless" movies continue to make money long after release. But again, they completely out of touch with reality; Song of the South! Dumbo's crows! Patriarchy making Princesses marry! If we don't go ultrawoke, our films will be embarrassments long before the copyright on them expires!
We can only hope their ultra-woke diversity fests will age about as well Uncle Remus.

This "timelessness" is why Disney bought Star Wars - a property still popular and making stupid money after 40 years. And likely why Lucas agreed to the sale, being that it looked like they'd play it safe. If he'd only known....

 

[JambledUpWords]

Based on only the spoilers, audience reception, and critical reception, I’ve come to the conclusion that JJ Abrams and his crew spent a considerable amount of the budget on drugs, and were high when writing the script. That’s the only way this plot makes any sense. You have to be high to really understand the movie.