Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[ZMOT]

The trouble is the characters all fell so flat for me, it's much like the director's Godzilla movie in that way, except it was a little better in Godzilla because the main cast was simply not as large and the supporting cast was strong.

worked better for me actually. I don't need elaborate backstories on every character. you had a bunch of people that wanted to help out and fuck with the empire, for various reasons. the first version was supposed to be a more realistic war movie, and you never know the complete life story of everyone you go into combat with. red 1-4 in ANH are never explained, only wedge got 2-3 sentences of exposition.
donnie yen and forest whitaker were totally wasted tho.

Rogue One had two problems. The first problem was that the movie makes no sense by itself and relies on you being a nostalgic star wars fan to carry you over its glaring plot inconsistencies. The other problem is the character to Jyn Erso is another Kathleen Kennedy self-insert Mary Sue that has skills and capabilities that are never limited by any sort of rules and are busted out as the plot dictates, and everyone loves her and she is perfect.

it does make sense. even if you don't know the deathstar, you still get that some dude wants to sabotage it and where jyn erso comes from. they even show you why when they blow up jedha.
as for jyn erso, I don't remember much sue-ness, people treat her special because she's to connection to the data they want. her abilities can be explained running with the rebels before, with a faction so bad they got kicked out of the "official" rebels, and later on her own. only obvious OP shit is in the first stormtropper fight in jedha (but then stormtroopers were always depicted comically incompetent).

Maximum cringe. The first time Luke showed up at Yavin base they stuck him in the back of the room and rolled their eyes when he talked about shooting vermin on his farm.

yet they still gave luke an x-wing and let him fly a mission crucial to the rebellion. he might as well be a plant. who knows? he just some dude from the ass-end of the galaxy.
erso was a known entity, they knew her and knew who her father was (and knew he was important enough to have him assassinated).

it wasn't a perfect movie, you definitively feel the reshots, but it still comes closest to a SW movie (even without all the nostalgiabait) all things considered.

 

[Ghostse]

I mean for fuck's sake, the character of Finn could've easily even been the protagonist of this trilogy.

Nope. The Chinese don't buy tickets to see films with niggers as leads, so Finn couldn't be the protagonist.

 

[Adamska]

Nope. The Chinese don't buy tickets to see films with niggers as leads, so Finn couldn't be the protagonist.

He could be, but not with any company autistically obsessed with playing shellgames with that shithole of a country. Because remember China openly lies about their releases too, including claiming destroyed theaters have full seating.

 

[ZMOT]

Did they even have a 5 second scene where you see her going through these books? I mean again, it's all still dumb sure, but if they can't be bothered to spend a small scene of her doing this then wth.

as someone mentioned earlier, how is she even able to read them? is she suddenly an expert for ancient jedi texts written in a dozen of different languages?
ffs instead of that shitty dagger it would've made more sense to look for someone to translate the books.

 

[Adamska]

as someone mentioned earlier, how is she even able to read them? is she suddenly an expert for ancient jedi texts written in a dozen of different languages?
ffs instead of that shitty dagger it would've made more sense to look for someone to translate the books.

*Mumbles in Hack and turns to producer with resting bitch face who looks similar to actress as an answer*

 

[Creep3r]

Nope. The Chinese don't buy tickets to see films with niggers as leads, so Finn couldn't be the protagonist.

Well before JJ and Kasdan threw a wrench into things, Finn was going to be a white dude who was initially conceived as a rogue and then an ex-trooper who eventually teams up with Kira and who then team up with a badass Mace Windu-looking motherfucker. So they could've just gone with that instead if they wanted the Chinese audience that badly.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/star-w...kywalker-spoilers.32492/page-522#post-4863887

as someone mentioned earlier, how is she even able to read them? is she suddenly an expert for ancient jedi texts written in a dozen of different languages?

"You dare doubt mighty Rey Sue's countless abilities?!"
Bitch could even speak any alien language including Wookiee right from the get-go despite being a slave kid who lived in a broken robot all her life who had no means of outside contact and could only make enough money for dehydrated bread. There's literally nothing she can't do at this point except fly. But considering that fancy force jump and cutting off Kylo Ren's tie fighter wing while doing it, she might as well be able to fly.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

I mean for fuck's sake, the character of Finn could've easily even been the protagonist of this trilogy. He even had the interesting advantage of having been indoctrinated into his "not-Empire"'s way of life, thus creating an interesting fish out of water story about a soldier who has never seen the outside world outside of simulations and purges and has to come face to face with the reality that the world he once knew was a lie, before eventually maybe becoming a jedi himself or becoming friends one. But instead they just shit it all away by making him a modern day Steppin Fetchit who gets fucked by a frumpy potato while some unoriginal Mary Sue goes around taking the identities and legacies away from pre-existing characters.

On another note, this trilogy didn't even need to be a direct sequel to ROTJ. They could've had it be set hundreds of years later with Finn or a Finn-like character and just have Luke and Leia as ghosts and Lando as a hologram. You wouldn't even need Ford since he quite frankly didn't even want to be in these movies, and all the old legacy characters already lived out their eras with the success you would hope for them to have while allowing room for creativity and new characters to shine without being overshadowed by the legacy characters at the expense of demeaning the legacy characters or anything that came before them. It shouldn't have been this fucking hard, but KK, JJ and RJ found a way.

I honestly think he was the main character in an old draft but he got pushed to the side in favor of KK's OC.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I have no idea what jj wanted to do with Finn. Rey and Kylo are obvious, but Finn was built as a second jedi only to be completely curbstomped.

 

[Collections Agent]

At the end of the day, from the second this movie was announced I had already given up on it in favor of looking forward to our Lord and savior Mr.Plinkett's take on it.

 

[verissimus]

Wait, that thing was Dengar? Wow, they even like fucking with the most minor of old characters.
View attachment 1061967
Literal Eternal Anguish.

What is wrong with your face!

@Collections Agent I swear this time around he better make a meme worthy of JJ or KK being a hack.

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

I'm pretty sure Rey's force healing thing was ripped directly from the Legacy Comics series from Dark Horse, written by John Ostrander and Jan Duursem, except without the good story line attached to it and the complexity that such a power could have. Cade Skywalker has the ability to heal but in order to do it he ends up using the dark side yet he himself doesn't exactly 'fall'. Cade was a character with complexity who suffered, learned, was burdened by his family legacy, and grew. There were times you were not feeling sympathetic towards him and times you absolutely were, he's a good example of a complex protagonist who isn't the perfect hero.

Polar opposite of Rey.

I had completely forgotten about Cade while I was writing that! Thanks for the reminder. I really need to reread Legacy. Cade's situation is more of an execption to the rule than anything. Note that even with Cade's ability, it couldn't regenerate limbs either. From what I remember he eventually learned to use the light side to heal but that only happened once near the end of the series (when he had to heal Deliah on Wayland) before it was prematurely cancelled* and was given a mini-series to end the overarching storyline.

* Oh man, the whole mess surrounding the cancellation of Legacy and Knights of the Old Republic and then-relaunch of Dark Horse's Star Wars line. Lemme go off on a old tangent here and share something with you folks. Ever wondered why that happened? Back when it was happening Randy Stradley (VP of Dark Horse Comics and Senior Editor of the Star Wars line, not to mention writer of various comics including Dark Times) and certain Lucasfilms employees made statements on the whole situation and it was easy to read between the lines why: Mike Richardson, founder and owner of Dark Horse Comics, was to blame. He wanted to relaunch the Star Wars line for the 25th Anniversary of Dark Horse Comics and return it to a line of limited series like how Dark Horse's Star Wars line started off with. Doesn't matter that he had two ongoing series with steady numbers (not great, but steady) in the middle of years-long story arcs. That's why we got so many limited series again during the last few years of Dark Horse's Star Wars run.

 

[Munchingonfish]

Nope. The Chinese don't buy tickets to see films with niggers as leads, so Finn couldn't be the protagonist.

The jews behind the second Pacific Rim movie didn't know that.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I honestly think he was the main character in an old draft but he got pushed to the side in favor of KK's OC.

No, from the very beginning it was a female lead. That was from Lucas, going all the way back to the early 80's...

The main difference, I think, was Ardnt doing Solo siblings.

It was probably a variation of Jaina and Jacen...

Ironically, the idea of an adopted Skywalker vs the biological one, imo, is a better idea.

WAY more interesting thematically and philosophically. But, these dipshits couldn't execute on their brainwave for shit....

 

[ZMOT]

The Resistance just wanders around in little groups all with their thumbs in their asses, and your brain fucking notices it. Which is why you aren't surprised that they're ineffective, incompetent, and losers.

because the resistance was a copy of the OT rebels, which were based a lot on ww2 resistance fighters. jarjar just copied them without knowing jack shit about it.

 

[Atomic Wangler]

Wait, that thing was Dengar? Wow, they even like fucking with the most minor of old characters.
View attachment 1061967
Literal Eternal Anguish.

Hey, Dengar buddy! You uh... You feeling okay? You don't look so hot. And that's taking into consideration that when I last saw you, you were larping as a mummy or a toilet demon.

What have they done to my boy!?

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

Hey, Dengar buddy! You uh... You feeling okay? You don't look so hot. And that's taking into consideration that when I last saw you, you were larping as a mummy or a toilet demon.

What have they done to my boy!?

I can't wait to see what they do to 4-LOM next. I bet he becomes a sentient toilet for sick space deviants. Mouse Wars: Catering to all fetishes.

 

[kobebyarlant]

It didn’t give me fever dreams like TLJ so 7/10 it was cheesy fun.

 

[Creep3r]

I honestly think he was the main character in an old draft but he got pushed to the side in favor of KK's OC.

Technically Kira (who would become Rey) was always in the cards as the lead but Sam/Finn seemed to be just as important as her (at least to me) and it was implied that he would find out that he was force-sensitive too alongside Kira.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/star-w...kywalker-spoilers.32492/page-522#post-4863887

I can't wait to see what they do to 4-LOM next. I bet he becomes a sentient toilet for sick space deviants. Mouse Wars: Catering to all fetishes.

I don't know about 4-LOM but they've seemingly replaced Zuckus with this shitty donut steal who is the same except with extended horn/nostrils on his head.

However there are two sentient toilet bounty hunters under Disney too.

The literal toilet head was Disney's first openly male gay character in SW (outside of Wendig shit). Not even joking.

It didn’t give me fever dreams like TLJ so 7/10 it was cheesy fun.

And all it took was making a complete cuck out of Luke Skywalker.

 

[Adamska]

I can't wait to see what they do to 4-LOM next. I bet he becomes a sentient toilet for sick space deviants. Mouse Wars: Catering to all fetishes.

Oh that exists somewhere already actually.

I forget which page, because this thing exploded, but there is a sapient toilet and its in a gay relationship with some other shit I can't remember.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

It didn’t give me fever dreams like TLJ so 7/10 it was cheesy fun.

You motherfuckers, going to see this movie. You're the reason Star Wars sucks. You have no self control, stop giving the r....

Oh I forgot, I don't give a shit...

I'm glad you were able to enjoy yourself. I certainly won't when I will myself to a theater at some point....

But, I got gift point tickets, so I don't think that counts for the mouse..