Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Doctor of Autism]

I'll defend Phasma because she came in at near the 11th hour in production; basically Kennedy thought it'd be a cool idea to make a girl stormtrooper clad in silver because of a toy she saw, and Iger agreed. She, like Poe, was forced into the movie. Unlike Poe though, she had even less time to be inserted since it Poe's rewrites were early-ish in the film's production.

Now trying to use her again was dumb.

The others are also really, really dumb in the genuine sense, rather than because of the they didn't have much time to use sense with Phasma.

That's fair but still they could've had Phasma be an intimidating character and kept her as a silent but intimidating presence with the minimum time they had.

Though it is clear that the more and more is heard about the troubles of this trilogy, it looks like that Kennedy and her story team of retards are behind more of the trilogy's missteps.

 

[Liquid Kent]

Like all wasted potential, Phasma and the Golden FO Trooper, Commander Pyre, should've been part of the Elite Cadre of Stormtroopers that supplanted the Death Troopers and the Clone COs due to the First Order's status as a ragtag Mil Junta. But we have the incompetents who can't sit down and activate the Galaxy brains at their disposal had they just tried.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

- Hux being a joke in the second movie instead of Space Goebbels like in TFA then having a dumb redemption arc

Strange how both Hux and Darth Columbine got a redemption arc... kinda...

Palpatine himself sucked because he got taken down by two lightsabers and he pretty much committed suicide

Worst thing about all this: Palpatine wasn't even enjoyable in this movie. He was just endlessly spouting exposition nonstopt. He never revelled in his evil deeds, he never gave us a campy, memeable pep-talk and he never shouted anything funny or iconic.

That's fair but still they could've had Phasma be an intimidating character and kept her as a silent but intimidating presence with the minimum time they had.

Though it is clear that the more and more is heard about the troubles of this trilogy, it looks like that Kennedy and her story team of exceptional individuals are behind more of the trilogy's missteps.

It's kinda weird, all Phasma would have needed to do, to be perceived as badass, would have been to give either Hux or Kylo some lip (to show that she's not afraid to tell Darth Schoolshooter that she doesn't take crap even from him) and then spent like 90% of her time in this movie standing somewhere looking menacing.
They could then have figured out what to do with her until the next movie. Sure, it's pretty much just "Bobba Fett, only 20% different!", but in a movie that's already just one giant rip-off, it wouldn't have mattered. But for some reason, they felt a need to embarass Phasma whenever they could. A shame.

 

[Creep3r]

Apparently, Boyega took another unexpected jab at Disney, specifically at the line "They Fly Now".

Katie|| TOMMY SHEPHERD IS BACK 💜✡️ on Twitter

“I love @JohnBoyega so much https://t.co/YrwdOZEiQg”

twitter.com

He actually has the nerve to point out that troopers have been using jetpacks since before the Clone Wars to Oscar.
Gee, whodda thunk?


And in more unexpected news...

Heir To The Empire #1 On UK Amazon During TROS Opening Weekend

And why might this be? Timothy Zahn offered some possible insight a while back:

disneystarwarsisdumb.wordpress.com

r/saltierthancrait - Heir to the Empire is currently #1 best seller in Star Wars books on the UK Amazon

468 votes and 27 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Heir to the Empire: Star Wars Legends (The Thrawn Trilogy) (Star Wars: The Thrawn Trilogy Book 1) eBook: Timothy Zahn: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

Heir to the Empire: Star Wars Legends (The Thrawn Trilogy) (Star Wars: The Thrawn Trilogy Book 1) eBook: Timothy Zahn: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

www.amazon.co.uk

The Heir to the Empire novel rose to the #1 spot on UK Amazon during the opening weekend in the wake of the film's shitty release.

Which is made all the more fitting considering the message the book comes with, a message which would just rustle Disney and JJ's collective jimmies.

 

[Liquid Kent]

Strange how both Hux and Darth Columbine got a redemption arc... kinda...


Worst thing about all this: Palpatine wasn't even enjoyable in this movie. He was just endlessly spouting exposition nonstopt. He never revelled in his evil deeds, he never gave us a campy, memeable pep-talk and he never shouted anything funny or iconic.



It's kinda weird, all Phasma would have needed to do, to be perceived as badass, would have been to give either Hux or Kylo some lip (to show that she's not afraid to tell Darth Schoolshooter that she doesn't take crap even from him) and then spent like 90% of her time in this movie standing somewhere looking menacing.
They could then have figured out what to do with her until the next movie. Sure, it's pretty much just "Bobba Fett, only 20% different!", but in a movie that's already just one giant rip-off, it wouldn't have mattered. But for some reason, they felt a need to embarass Phasma whenever they could. A shame.

It would be funny if someone helped along plot threads and scenes in production that juxtaposed Phasma with Rey, with Rey being KK's self-insert as her ideal, but Phasma being way more closer to what KK actually is... An unhappy, bitter survivor of circumstance.

 

[FunPosting101]

It's sad to see what the Rat has done to Star Wars, but the silver lining here is that the old EU material still exists, books, comics, games, etc, and that can never be taken away no matter how many shitty movies get made.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Apparently, Boyega took another unexpected jab at Disney, specifically at the line "They Fly Now".

Katie|| TOMMY SHEPHERD IS BACK 💜✡️ on Twitter

“I love @JohnBoyega so much https://t.co/YrwdOZEiQg”

twitter.com

He actually has the nerve to point out that troopers have been using jetpacks since before the Clone Wars to Oscar.
Gee, whodda thunk?

God damn. Whatever grievances I might have had with Boyega in the past, he's pretty based atm.
I also like how Oscar Isaacs and Boyega share banter and how Isaacs laughs at Boyega pointing out that jetpacks were in use since the clone wars... and all the while, Daisy Ridley sits there, like a cardboard cutout.

(Also, you can tell my short bursts of activity only happen whenever I manage to catch up with the thread. Jeez.)

 

[Love Machine]

What are you looking for?

Anything specific? Ships? Aliens? Planets?

Id like aliens and planets.

 

[CWCissey]

Space Burning Man was kind of interesting, I think the crew heard the complaints about the lack of alien shit.

 

[melty]

I saw it yesterday. I'm a normie who doesn't really care about Star Wars but also doesn't dislike it, and I end up watching a bunch of the media due to my friends being really into it.

The friends I saw it with basically liked it, but were uncomfortable with a number of plot holes and unexplained things they promptly put more thought and effort in trying to rectify than anyone at Disney did. I thought the movie was ok; it wasn't as bad as I expected, but it wasn't really good or notable either. It was better than TLJ and very obviously tried to patch up all the problems with that movie. One comment was that "most of the movie" was fixing the last movie.

Spoiler

I truly hated the scenes with Carrie Fisher at the beginning, I thought it was really disrespectful, and obvious that it was just extra footage they had from the last couple of movies because nothing she said was really specific to what was going on. I looked it up later, and they basically examined what footage they had and tried to write a scene around it. Even then, they really didn't do a good job, because most of her scenes were just saying one word or giving meaningful expressions. It was hollow and distasteful.

Rose didn't really bother me in TLJ, but was total garbage in this film. Every moment she was on screen was extremely grating.

I thought the part where they go to that planet and meet Poe's ex girlfriend was clumsy. The ex-gf, who has ONE ticket off this shithole planet, randomly gives it to Poe so they can save their friend who she's never met. Why doesn't she go with them, or have Poe steal it from her? I saw another post describing how they could have skipped this entire planet, that works too.

It doesn't make any sense how Palpatine is able to build such a massive fleet without being detected. With what resources? Who built this?
All the hooded figures in the arena at the end bothered me more than it should. I guess they're supposed to be sith ghosts, but it's not like they could see or hear the people talking at conversation level on dark lightning planet, idk.
Horses on a spaceship?
Member when Luke raised his spaceship out of the swamp?
Member Ewoks??

The part I did like was getting reinforcements at the end. I hated how in TLJ, nobody came to help the resistance. It made me wonder why am I rooting for them? If no one else in the galaxy can be bothered to help them, wtf is wrong here? Is this resistance even wanted or needed? They worked HARD to backtrack that.

I've never really understood Rey's motivations as a character, which is my biggest problem with her. She kind of cared about her parents heritage and the circumstances, but also not really. I guess Luke and Leia were supposed to be family figures to her, but that never really felt emphasized, just thrown in. You could say she's just an inherently moral person, but that wasn't really clear, either. I personally wanted her to just give up and become a sith lord after questioning why she was doing all this shit.
I really love female characters with powers. I wanted to root for her, but she just has no personality, no clear motivations.

 

[Reverend]

Finished watching it from our generous Korean friends on the high seas. Many Bulgogi's were consumed in the watching of this shit show.

1. Do not think, just watch. This movie survives on the surface, the first hour is as everyone said, Episode 8 crammed into 15min. Digging any farther into the basic story telling concepts breaks immersion. Who,What,When, Where,Why, and How are utterly immaterial to JJ's concept. Sit down, enjoy the ride, fuck you very much for the movie ticket leave and do not think. If I was going for a Fast and Furious or Transformers movie, this would be OK. I'm going for Star Wars, and Star Wars has Lore, History, Myth, and Legend. Answers and depth is not JJ's strong suit, only Flash, don't look at the man behind the curtain, enjoy the pretty view. If you get anxiety from too much light stimuli go mainline a bar of Xanex, you'll need it for the first hour.

2. Physical effects were absolute trash tier ripped from a B-Movie. CGI can cover allot of sins but the beautifulness of Lucsafilm was that they could make you believe that the objects you were looking at were real, belonged, and were absolutely built/designed just like that. All i could see was anytime the movie zoomed in on a physical, non-cgi'd item, it looked like something out of a grade school science fair project: The Wayfinder in kylo's ship, the wires hanging out of C3-PO when he gets hacked, the shitty pieces floating around the death star, and sweet Jesus in a basket Exogol looks like a Scrap yard you'd find in a West Virginia back country. All the money went to the digital effects and no one cared to make props look like they belonged. The Photoshop Copy/Paste of the fleets at the end was enough for me to go "Fuck all this, where the fuck were these assholes a month ago?"

3. Palaptaine had too much lipstick on. Seriously was he sitting in the same car as Lesley Nielson eating some pistachios from Naked Gun? Fuck all the makeup on him was godawful. Again, physical assets were ignored and not cleaned up in post.

4. Nothing matters, no consequences - Rinse repeat everything said on here. No one was in any threat, there was no stakes, any drama created or loss is invalidated in 5 minutes by whatever caused the problems to occur in the first place.

5. Slow Down, It gets good - When the main trio gets to be themselves , to relax, when the frenetic OMGFASTERXPOSITION! is removed then it's actually not too bad. Luke's shit hole island was fine, the digging through the Death star was OK, the final battle was not so shabby. When the movie stopped forcing you to dump cocaine levels of dopamine into your brain the movie has some OK parts.

6. IT's all Plug n' Play - Movies are filmed at different times and different areas and different things and put together in post. This movie felt , like many has said, like a jumbled up mess of Check Marks (need a chase, need a heiest, need a loss, need a fetch quest, etc) that a JJ abrams movies is known for and then in post they figured out where the hell each piece went and fucked off in any type or semblance of plot/story. None of the goddamn Fetch Quests are necessary if, and this is a HUGE IF, any of the main characters were to stop for one goddamn second and say "Hey what do we know about X, Is there anyone there we can talk to? Oh Lando is there? Put him on speakerphone. Lando my man get the thing we need, appreciate it, going to look for Y now Leia says she can't wait for that MadDog2020." Recon, intelligence, and any amount of delegation is ignored as the characters rush from one set piece to another.

7. Pandering to fans - yes it's all there, yes it's bad. Fuck it all it doesn't make me happy I loathe the rat needed to kiss my ass in order for me to watch this. JOKES ON YOU CAPTAIN!!!11!



Summary: The awful pacing, the incessant pandering, the shitty graphics can't put a big enough bow on this pig to not realize the pig's a pack of bacon that's already rotted in the sun. At the end of the movie you take home your "Participation" award and drown your sorrows in vodka and painkillers. 1.5/5 stars.

 

[CWCissey]

I thought the part where they go to that planet and meet Poe's ex girlfriend was clumsy. The ex-gf, who has ONE ticket off this shithole planet, randomly gives it to Poe so they can save their friend who she's never met. Why doesn't she go with them, or have Poe steal it from her?

Also, she's half of Daft Punk.

 

[Reverend]

Also, she's half of Daft Punk.

No she's the goddamn Rocketeer as Disney owns the right to that shit show too:

 

[Pepito The Cat]

This is interesting. TRoS is displaying numbers closer to Rouge One than to TLJ, the second weakest of the Disney era.

https://www.boxofficemojo.com/showdown/sd2117858820/?view=byDOW

 

[DrearyDoomguy]

This is interesting. TRoS is displaying numbers closer to Rouge One than to TLJ, the second weakest of the Disney era.

Hey, they're slightly outperforming a midseason spinoff. Lemonade from lemons, eh Disney?

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Unpopular opinion:
Not the worst main Star Wars movie.

I'd rather watch TRoS than ever watch The Phantom Menace ever again.


That's not a high bar to clear. TRoS is definitely not a good movie, and I think its worst points are the worst out of any Star Wars movie

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

View attachment 1063695
woah, they got jabba the hutts stand-in on set?!

When I think of Star Wars I definitely think of a bunch of white roasties and a fat black lady in MC Hammer pants.

 

[Creep3r]

Id like aliens and planets.

Very well.

Ultimate Alien Anthology, The Essential (and New Essential) Guides to Alien Species, and maybe Essential Planets & Moons might make for amusing reads. UAA has great artwork though with aliens lined up next to each other for comparison.

One of the aliens pictured above actually managed to make into TLJ surprisingly enough (with a minor alteration though). One of only 5 old aliens to actually make it into Disney's shitty trilogy (not counting Chewbacca, Nien Nub, Yoda's ghost, Ackbar and the barely visible Jawas at the end of Plan 9).

Also maybe check out Star Wars Journal 1 if you're interested in seeing what inspired Square Enix to make a certain game.

Even if you don't want to read much, I suggest you check them out just for the artwork.

I know you're a Knights of Ren/Mad Max person, so I won't be biased in regards to Disney shit and tell you that the @TheMysteriousAHole has some pics that go into a lot of detail about them, that is if you still care about them despite them dying like punks at the hands of Rey and Ren.

I hope you'll enjoy it.

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

Id like aliens and planets.

Here's some from the original EU:
The New Essential Guide to Alien Species
The Essential Atlas

These Essential Guides went through three generations (from 1995-2012) and some of them would be updated and others wouldn't.

Generally I'd recommend two other books from the 'third generation' of Star Wars Essential Guides if you're curious about the larger world of the Star Wars Universe i.e. The Essential Guide to Warfare or Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force.

Keep in mind that each of those books are a snapshot of that particular time period that they were published in.

Going on a brief tangent: I can't really recommend the last book of the third generation, The Essential Reader's Companion, even though it shares the occasional interesting piece of behind-the-scenes production info. This is mainly due to the fact that the author, everyone's favorite Pablo, deliberately left out the actual original source of the invasion concept that was used in The New Jedi Order: Dark Horse Comics. He instead went with some revisionist history that supports Del Rey as the true originators of the whole idea. Wookieepedia has an brief summary over there regarding what happened and how Del Rey screwed them over.

I wish some people had archived the old Dark Horse forums 'cause Randy would occasionally discuss it there. Randy would also shitpost to stir up Fandalorians, too. I remember a time in one of the old Star Wars: Republic issues that a bunch of dead Mandalorians appeared because some mega Mando fans kept on pestering him for the Mandalorians to appear. The fans got their wishes! If I ever find the willingness to do so, I'll try to dig up some links regarding the time that he gave a review of one of those Traviss Republic Commando books that ruffled a few feathers. To the point that Rich Johnston (then of the Lying in the Gutters fame and later known for Bleeding Cool) tried to use it to stir shit up between Lucasfilms and Dark Horse.

Dark Horse Invasion Storyline.

Old Website Dedicated to Archiving Lost Stories

Old TheForce.Net Jedi Council Forum thread discussing the topic

The latter will be of particular curious because one of the editors who still works over at Del Rey (Shelly Shapiro) on the Star Wars line tried to pull a 'he said/she said' on Randy. Essentially saying that he's full of shit. Shelly's been known to flat-out lie so take everything she says with a massive grain of salt.

EDIT:

Dammit, GeneralFriendliness, you had to post your reply while I was typing all of that!

Normally don't use smileys but I didn't want you to get the wrong impression.

I know you're a Knights of Ren/Mad Max person, so I won't be biased in regards to Disney shit and tell you that the @TheMysteriousAHole has some pics that go into a lot of detail about them if you still care about them despite them dying like bitchs at the hands of Rey.

Yeah, lemme dig up what I got on the Knights of Ren real fast. Only reason why I'm keeping this stuff is to share with others to laugh at:

Spoiler

All of these, click to enlarge. These come from the Rise of Kylo Ren comic book, issue #1 The rest comes from the Visual Dictionary:

I also just noticed that these pics aren't in order but fuck that I'm too lazy and there were too many.

 

[Reverend]

I know you're a Knights of Ren/Mad Max person, so I won't be biased in regards to Disney shit and tell you that the @TheMysteriousAHole has some pics that go into a lot of detail about them if you still care about them despite them dying like bitchs at the hands of Rey.

Kylo Ben killed them at the end with the help the new "now you see me now you don't" force teleporting trick that they now do. He does that lil shoulder shrug like "Ooops now I gots a lightsaber?" and then hacks them all apart. They were as useless as tits on a bull and their weapons were pulled straight out of a Bezerk anime, that giant cleaving sword was straight up useless.