Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I'm doing my best to find the others. So far I've only found two other edgelords.
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Weird thing about this guy's staff is that its says its charged with kinetite, which is another name for sith lightning but "Usher" can't use sith lightning. So does Palpatine himself charge up this guy's staff? Or is the kinetite actually made from the souls of dead sith babies taken from Palpatine's super huge galaxy-wide cult?

This one is called Apple K Aplek.
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He likes tricks.
Oh god all these characters are the fucking same!

It would've been interesting if the Knights of Ren were just jaded by Luke's teachings and went to the dark side due to believing it's a better alternative instead of just being a group of edgy school shooters.
 
According to Leland Chee, the reason they probably trashed old canon (then recycled it) was because Chewbacca died.

I mean there alot of terrible stories in the old eu, and if I was in charge I would definitely recton Chewbacca's death and Dark empire, but I would never throw it all away cause there are good stories and lore that should be kept.

Which is bizarre since Disney's new shit is only about 5 years old, yet now they have a library that's even bigger than the last 30 years of Star Wars content (yet ironically less than a handful of video games) and more youtube videos covering that shit than anything that ever came before. "Find out how proud lesbian Dr. Aphra was the true hero of Hoth and not Luke Skywalker!".
Really they generated more stuff in five years and thirty years? Are you including those dk guide books and retelling of the films? And the Fantasy flight game guides?


In line with my Force Hindsight powers, I'd take a page from the Expanded Universe / Give Us Legends group and relegate Filoni's Clone Wars to it's own insular TV canon, restoring the continuity and robustly maintained canonicity of the EU up to that point. I'd be interested in a TV show similar to Rebels, with all the aesthetics and flair of the OT but without so much lolXD 4Kids flavor. Like with Clone Wars, it too would exist in the same TV canon as Clone Wars, allowing Filoni to make the show he wants without it needing to be canon with the films past and present.

Giving Filoni his own sandbox to play in that doesn't have to appeal to the eu and the films would be a blessing, and make me appreciate his works even more, As I can rest assured his storylines and asspulls aren't meant to 100% correlate to the films, and the eu stuff I like. Cause there a lot of films of both eu and films that weren't happy, and assuring them that his series are in a different continunity then the films and the eu would make plenty of people happy.

Though Like Geroge he still needs reigning. Cause Wolves.
 
Which is bizarre since Disney's new shit is only about 5 years old, yet now they have a library that's even bigger than the last 30 years of Star Wars content (yet ironically less than a handful of video games) and more youtube videos covering that shit than anything that ever came before. "Find out how proud lesbian Dr. Aphra was the true hero of Hoth and not Luke Skywalker!".
Well, there’s the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight games. Those were probably the best Star Wars games if you’ve soured on Bioware’s formula at this point. Come to think of it, Kyle Katarn is way better as a character than the girl from Rogue one. I forgot he’s the one that got the Death Star plans in the pre-disney stuff before you brought up the video games.
 
Found another one. His bio doesn't sound as edgelordy as the rest, but I keep reading his name as Cardio.
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He likes burning things by using an "arm cannon". His coat is made from some kind of worm that's never been mentioned in anything before. Strange thing is that the flammable "gel" he uses sounds like something the Vong used to use. This is the second time the Vong have been referenced in Disney shit, the first time being one of their creatures being mentioned in Galaxy's Edge. How exactly do they even fit into this shit timeline? Especially if Disney replaced them with other skull-faced dudes called Grysks?

Edit:
Wait. I found the last one I think. His name is "Kuruk".
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He is a loner who doesn't like to be around people. He has no job. He has no friends. He likes to stay behind when the other knights go out to have fun and he rides a ship called the "Night Buzzard". His pose is very weak and on the spectrum.

Oh god all these characters are the fucking same!

It would've been interesting if the Knights of Ren were just jaded by Luke's teachings and went to the dark side due to believing it's a better alternative instead of just being a group of edgy school shooters.
They're not even Luke's students apparently. Just a bunch of angry weird cultists who went around killing and recruiting people to kill some more.
 
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Supposedly some kind of post-credits scene...
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I think this is fake. But if real wtf is this? Is that the broom boy from TLJ or did Kylo's kiss impregnate Rey?
Oh god, tell this was not real i beg you [As for seeing this atrocity to the seventh art i managed to convince my dad not to go see it because when the leaks were proven right i accidentally spoil to myself the whole plot]
 
Oh god, tell this was not real i beg you [As for seeing this atrocity to the seventh art i managed to convince my dad not to go see it because when the leaks were proven right i accidentally spoil to myself the whole plot]
That one was fake, the real thing is way more awkward. Whole movie's here if you want to see how it actually ends:

https://multiup.org/download/670104...lley.me_StWrs.2019.720p.HDCAM-GETB8.part1.rar
https://multiup.org/download/6e9a1c...lley.me_StWrs.2019.720p.HDCAM-GETB8.part2.rar
https://julay.world/sw/res/913.html
http://boards.4channel.org/wsg/thread/3200782
 
They're not even Luke's students apparently. Just a bunch of angry weird cultists who went around killing and recruiting people to kill some more.

I thought they were Kylombine's school shooter friends who destroyed the Academy with him cause they were persuaded too, but guess they are just random edgelords. Wow this is a classic case of the Mystery Box isn't it?!
 
He is a loner who doesn't like to be around people. He has no job. He has no friends. He likes to stay behind when the other knights go out to have fun and he rides a ship called the "Night Buzzard". His pose is very weak and shy.

Yes, do tell me the life's story for a character that had probably less than 3 minutes of screen time within 3 movies instead of you know developing Finn or Poe as characters, explaining how Maz got Anakin's lightsaber, how Palpatine survived, etc...freaking priorities in Disney Star Wars.
 
I thought they were Kylombine's school shooter friends who destroyed the Academy with him cause they were persuaded too, but guess they are just random edgelords. Wow this is a classic case of the Mystery Box isn't it?!
This is why even if you write organically, you lay out the beats and outline FIRST before you do this shit. That and don't tardpanic and interfere too much so long as you're on site regularly.

The Rat fucked up every possible step needed to make movies with this franchise you easily can teach from just using their mistakes.

And the Knights are okay looking, but I do enjoy their edginess means nothing given how hard they got yeeted in the film.
 
I thought they were Kylombine's school shooter friends who destroyed the Academy with him cause they were persuaded too, but guess they are just random edgelords. Wow this is a classic case of the Mystery Box isn't it?!
According to Disney shit, the school was randomly blown up by lightning from space, presumably Snoke or Palpatine's... (why didn't they just blow up Luke on hermit isle when he was weak? Or blow up the Resistance bases with that lightning?)
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Kylo Ren was apparently sleeping outside the school in a hut or shed when Luke tried to kill him and had nothing to do with the Kylombine massacre.

A hurt and confused Kylo Ren then ran off into Snoke's arms and proceeded to cream his pants.
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Snoke lives in a green house and looks like an old lady.
 
These shots are actually really good. It makes the Rebels seem like they're really trying to be an army rather than little more than a bunch've militia who have managed to slide past due to the Empire's ever growing incompetence. It makes sense considering the Rebels can't afford to hand an untrained pilot or driver one of their machines, they can't afford to continually replace them.

A lot of EU and even the old OT novels made it clear that X-wings were precious to them, they couldn't afford to replace them at a decent pace - if at all sometimes.

Ah well. Now everyone just.. I don't know, dyes their hair purple and becomes an admiral because raisins.
That's definitely one of the things I cherish about the WEG EU materials: they have a very high degree of verisimilitude. All of the little asides that they garnish their tables and figures with could have been drawn from any real-world soldier's report or complaint about officers, equipment, politicians, or whatever, and it really helps sell the sense of immersion.

Check out the following excerpt, for example:

Admiral Jerjerrod's Testimony

(From the days of the Old Republic, a holorecording
of Senate Security Hearings, Naval Subcommittee,
Procurement Panel: Document #RS.SS. 225863a.NS. 1771.PP.24)

Senator Gopple: Admiral Jerjerrod, you have indicated
to this panel that you have certain misgivings concerning
the procurement procedure of our fair Republic. Could you
explain why you insist on undermining the Republic's
confidence in her Navy with your public statements,
rather than going through the chain of command as is
proper for a military officer?

Admiral Jerjerrod: The Senator from Erigorm has not
scanned my reports very thoroughly. I have reported
to the proper people above me and to my peers within
the Naval Command. My public statements, as you
choose to call them Senator, were taken from those
reports I so filed. I had nothing to do with their dissemination.

Senator V'troren: But if you did not leak these reports to
the media, who did? Who else would have had the
motivation to promulgate your particular point of view?

Admiral Jerjerrod: Senator V'troren, every being serving
knows that the weapons he uses, the ships on which he
serves, the droids and computers on which his life depends
—every piece of equipment which he will expect to use
—was designed as a result of a Senate compromise to keep
each constituent commercial interest happy. Upon entering
combat with such equipment a crewman's sole consolation
is a grim satisfaction that our enemies probably stole their
equipment from us.


Or this one:

Staying in Touch

The need for reliable, lightweight communications
gear to keep platoon commanders in touch with other
units provides work for a number of companies' R&D
sections. SoroSuub's initial success with the DH77
headcomm led to issuing hundreds of thousands of sets
before a serious flaw was discovered: the sets are easily
jammed by high energy particle emissions. Such emissions
could result from normal battlefield conditions;
near misses from artillery could create dead zones through
which DH77 transmissions were lost. The ionic contrail
from a single TIE fighter attack run could temporarily
knock out DH77s up to three kilometers away!
The Herzfall Corporation, a little known company from
the Senex sector, developed the DH107, which rectified
this mistake and was less susceptible to signal interception.
DH107s have been issued to every platoon formed
since the Battle of Yavin, and most platoons have been
retrofitted. Still, thousands of platoons are using the old
DH77s, a situation which does not look likely to change as
the Empire finds more crucial uses for its resources.


It's only 13K tweets, and this is already on Twitter, a well known hugbox, so it's not like it's mind-blowing, That said, some of these tweets are exceptional.

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It challenged my pre-conceived notion of Rian Johnson being a good film director, most certainly.

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Anyone who has depression and wants to work on it should be horrified by how it's (supposedly) portrayed in The Last Jedi. Luke almost murders someone and gets many of his students killed. That isn't a simple failure, it's what we would call attempted murder and criminal negligence.

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:horrifying:

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Reylos, as expected (it was a pretty good scene).

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In what universe has Star Wars not shown that hope is the birthright of everyone? This goes back to the fact that everyone who seems to like TLJ are completely unaware of any Star Wars media outside of the OT, and otherwise have never seen the OT or barely remember it before becoming sequel shills.

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Here's an example. What do you know, Reylo.

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"Selfless" = Rose preventing Finn from dying for the greater good, "pacifist" = Holdo killing thousands and thousands of people, "anti-war" = a baffling both sides are exactly the same and military-industrial complex message, "lightsaber duel not being a duel at all" = not a fucking Star Wars movie.

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REYLOS

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Absolutely fucking bonkers if you don't think ESB and RotJ had themes and were about something.

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"Respecting our intelligence", also, Reylo.

They have to live in a bizarro world where The Last Jedi actually had all the shit they're praising if for in the actual movie, instead of being a terribly paced and written mess.

Some good dunks, though.

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Finn stan, I'm assuming. I feel you, TLJ did him dirty.

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Absolutely correct, George is 10x the man Rian is.
*directs epic space-war movie where the bad guys are risible, unthreatening stumblebums and the good guys are so impotent that their biggest obstacle is an obstructive dangerhair*

Hmm, yes, bold move indeed, Rian.

The consequences are the same either way. Her lack of self-awareness, coupled with a blatant disregard towards the idea of "owing men something", made her look like hardcore feminist cunt who had no business running a creative studio, let alone a male-oriented brand like Star Wars.

If it weren't for Star Wars, this little publicity stunt and probably the product line wouldn't exist and rather explicitly taunt fans. If the whole event really had nothing to do with Star Wars, why is Bad Robot plastered all over the backdrop? Hell, why the fuck is she there after being named head of Lucasfilm? This is the kind of burying-the-lead I'd expect from people like Bryan Young or Pablo Hidalgo.
:winner:

If I were put in charge starting 2012? Probably get rid of Pablo Hidalgo. I say that with the benefit of hindsight, but let's assume I'm just that astute a judge of character & an avid fan who learned everything I do now about him first-hand. The guy's a bitter, ungrateful egotist not too dissimilar from Rian, which may be part of why they get along so well.

In line with my Force Hindsight powers, I'd take a page from the Expanded Universe / Give Us Legends group and relegate Filoni's Clone Wars to it's own insular TV canon, restoring the continuity and robustly maintained canonicity of the EU up to that point. I'd be interested in a TV show similar to Rebels, with all the aesthetics and flair of the OT but without so much lolXD 4Kids flavor. Like with Clone Wars, it too would exist in the same TV canon as Clone Wars, allowing Filoni to make the show he wants without it needing to be canon with the films past and present. Meanwhile, I'd get Favreau on to do a live action show based on the Coruscant underworld and/or Boba Fett. He didn't seem to be doing any big projects from 2012-2014, so I think I could lure him in without much fuss.

This dovetails in nicely with me NOT shuttering all LucasArts projects and allowing 1313 to finish development, releasing anywhere between 2013 and 2015. This along with the TV show that George wanted would begin setting up nicely for the eventual sequel trilogy. Considering the age of the cast, I think I would go along with George's story treatments for 7, 8 and 9, but this time making sure to have the original cast all together in the first movie at some point, and not as abject fucking failures. Already a promising step-up.

I really don't like torch-pass movies because either most of them I've seen suck ass, or the most popular ones are popular because of said ass-suckage. That being said, I would be more than willing to work with Lucas on his ideas for HIS sequel trilogy. Ideally I would want the man to be satisfied with the final product, but I wouldn't want to be a yes-man or surround him with yes-men. That means working Kira and Old Man Luke in such a way that it doesn't spoil his past achievements or alienate either OT fans or EU fans. Kira would be likable, fun and refreshing to watch. She would not be another fucking Korra copypasta, but neither would she be Jaina. If anything I'd probably model her after a character like Katara or any number of strong, attractive-looking Japanese female protagonists. I don't want her beating up groups of guys by herself or showing up Luke or Palpatine with the Force because she's a whamen. I want her to have friends, be normal and be personable in the Star Wars universe. Fuck Twitter, fuck Hollywood, fuck the media. Actors can have their social media presence as long as they second-hand promote Star Wars positively and don't alienate their audience--this goes double for Trump Deranged Hamill--but Lucasfilm staff can shut the fuck up on the internet or go find a job at Gizmodo. I'm sure I can avoid that by not hiring cheap-ass woke contractors and other token hires. Luke, Han and Leia's experiences in the EU would be implied but never outright stated. OT and PT references would be absent; this ST will not depend on membaberries. The new threat or antagonist would emerge somewhere from the "microbiotic world" Lucas wanted to explore rather than just another Sith/Empire remnant that should be gone at this point.

There's my rough draft. Do I get the job?
Ah, what might have been...:feels:

Tell me about how it goes; because Edge of Empires was very fun to play; interesting dice pool system where you had positives, negatives, advantages, and disadvantages rather than a pure dice pool.

I'd expect it's okay at least, given d20 systems are pretty solid usually.
Well, that's the thing: the old WEG system actually runs on d6 pools. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it (I'm going to be the GM) but I'll certainly get back to you with my impressions (though that probably won't be until some time in the new year at the earliest).

Sidious had a blue lightsaber in Dark Empire, from what I recall. Say what you will about Dark Empire, but Matt Smith playing a younger Palpatine with a blue lightsaber would at least be very unique.
Always thought that Clone Emperor Palpatine looked cool:

POTF2EUcloneemperorfr.jpg


I actually like a lot of things about Dark Empire: the sorcerous aesthetic of the Sith, Cam Kennedy's brooding, cyberpunk-feeling artwork and character designs, the World Devastators, E-Wings and so forth, but I'm not a fan of the pretty blatant (Force) power-creep versus the movies, or how the Emperor's return diminishes Anakin Skywalker.
 
This is why even if you write organically, you lay out the beats and outline FIRST before you do this shit. That and don't tardpanic and interfere too much so long as you're on site regularly.

The Rat fucked up every possible step needed to make movies with this franchise you easily can teach from just using their mistakes.

And the Knights are okay looking, but I do enjoy their edginess means nothing given how hard they got yeeted in the film.
Honestly, these shitty guide entrees regarding the knights don't really spoil anything and would've made more sense to have them released before the films came out. Instead they wait till the last minute. Like you said, this is what happens when you don't plan anything ahead or even have some kind of blueprint in mind. The only thing they knew is that they needed to make an OT retread with as many OT references as possible and nothing more.
 
Found another one. His bio doesn't sound as edgelordy as the rest, but I keep reading his name as Cardio.
View attachment 1065597
He likes burning things by using an "arm cannon". His coat is made from some kind of worm that's never been mentioned in anything before. Strange thing is that the flammable "gel" he uses sounds like something the Vong used to use. This is the second time the Vong have been referenced in Disney shit, the first time being one of their creatures being mentioned in Galaxy's Edge. How exactly do they even fit into this shit timeline? Especially if Disney replaced them with other skull-faced dudes called Grysks?

Edit:
Wait. I found the last one I think. His name is "Kuruk".
View attachment 1065604
He is a loner who doesn't like to be around people. He has no job. He has no friends. He likes to stay behind when the other knights go out to have fun and he rides a ship called the "Night Buzzard". His pose is very weak and on the spectrum.


They're not even Luke's students apparently. Just a bunch of angry weird cultists who went around killing and recruiting people to kill some more.
But doesn't Luke say that Ben took a bunch of students with him after he destroyed the temple? What the fuck happened to those guys, are they the guards in the throne room? What the fuck is happening!?
 
According to Disney shit, the school was randomly blown up by lightning from space, presumably Snoke or Palpatine's... (why didn't they just blow up Luke on hermit isle when he was weak? Or blow up the Resistance bases with that lightning?)
View attachment 1065624View attachment 1065616View attachment 1065617
Kylo Ren was apparently sleeping outside the school in a hut or shed when Luke tried to kill him and had nothing to do with the Kylombine massacre.

A hurt and confused Kylo Ren then ran off into Snoke's arms and proceeded to cream his pants.
View attachment 1065619
Snoke lives in a green house and looks like an old lady.

You know, the more they try to fill the plot holes in the DLC, the worse the entire trilogy gets. Now that's how you know you dun goof'd with your idea for a Star Wars ST.
 
Dark Empire is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. It's godawful in many respects, doesn't fit in with the old EU at all, and as Zahn said it diminishes Anakin's sacrifice. But at the same time, it introduced a lot of iconic ships and planets to the EU, and I really like Luke's design. I mean, look at this shit.

s-l300.jpg


Still, it influenced the sequels and that definitely sucks.
 
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A part of me wishes they went with this for Snokes origin. Gives a good reason for his hatred of Jedi, Sith and Skywalker.

Makes more sense then,Palpatine survied falling down an moon size shaft, and the explosion of the Death Star. While Luke somehow dies from force projection, cause exhaustion.
 
But doesn't Luke say that Ben took a bunch of students with him after he destroyed the temple? What the fuck happened to those guys, are they the guards in the throne room? What the fuck is happening!?
I think you're absolutely right. But the DLC apparently forgot about that. Instead after blowing up the school, three jedi show up and start attacking Kylo for attacking Luke (even though nu-Luke tried to kill him first for no reason) but he beats them (without killing them) and runs away in a ship. All he takes with him is a single droid who never shows up in the Disney Trilogy.
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Oddly enough both the aliens and droids in this comic are old school and not new ones. Some jedi do follow him though but only to try and kill him.

The main Jedi ship looked weird though.
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Like some mixed up hodgepodge of Y-Wing, X-Wing and B-Wing. Kylo Ren's looks almost normal but it has a horse shoe around it that even covers the engine for some reason.
 
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Well, that's the thing: the old WEG system actually runs on d6 pools. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it (I'm going to be the GM) but I'll certainly get back to you with my impressions (though that probably won't be until some time in the new year at the earliest).
Oh shit, was confusing it with the D20 variant that also exists and I may have lodged somewhere on this machine. Forgot that West End was the d6 one.

Still tell me regardless, since I've actually never played a WEG based game before.
Honestly, these shitty guide entrees regarding the knights don't really spoil anything and would've made more sense to have them released before the films came out. Instead they wait till the last minute. Like you said, this is what happens when you don't plan anything ahead or even have some kind of blueprint in mind. The only thing they knew is that they needed to make an OT retread with as many OT references as possible and nothing more.
It is not hard to plan it out at all; all you need to do is spend a few days doing it, and then give the guidelines to a director and team you trust.

But they never did, because Kennedy wanted to have her own shit inserted. And Abrams is a lazy lazy man who tore apart a perfectly good outline to work from.

In other news, had some fun shooting the shit with friends of mine with an idea I thought was doofy and cool: what if instead of Han, Luke and Obi Wan commission Boba Fett and he takes it for easy money (since he's on arrears)?

Some neat ideas include: Boba blasting apart entire rooms after being told to unarm, fleeing from 200+ storm troopers. Han and Chewie doing a last chance spice run and getting tractored in near the same time (they then steal guns). Boba Fett going for the Republic because holy shit that Leia chick is a lot of money for them, and a big Bounty hunter shootoff scene in not-episode 5 where Dengar, Greedo, and IG-88 try and capture the lot.

Oh, and his actions allow for Mandalore Space to counter Hutt Space because hero of the New Republic and so on.

Is it great? Prolly not. Was it fun? Hell yeah.

We also did some fun moments with Palpatine tormenting Vader as a big troll in between (highlights include how he decided to become the worst uncle in the galaxy to him since Plageis probably accidentally made him, how he described getting out of child support by tricking Jar-Jar into thinking Rey's mom was his, and adopting children on purpose just to make him nervous about a new apprentice) since it jumped around a lot.
 
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