Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Wow so they didn't even bother to draw original artwork from scratch? They just poorly traced pre-existing photos and artwork? What is it with Disney and tracing other people's shit? Makes everything they produce feel like some chinese knockoff.

Still better than those uncanny valley faces in those marvel star wars comics. Not all of them are traced,
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at least not obviously,
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Even the art and Descriptions don't match up sometimes.
Kaleesh-Alien_Archive.jpg


You had one job!
 
Still better than those uncanny valley faces in those marvel star wars comics. Not all of them are traced,
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at least not obviously,
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Even the art and Descriptions don't match up sometimes.
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You had one job!
Honestly it shouldn't be that hard to give it at least inhuman feet. Or just make an entry claiming that only certain races of Kaleesh walk on their toes or have different feet.
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Or heck, just don't mention his feet. I guess this pretty much confirms that there's zero communication going on within Lucasfilm. Everyone just goes off to do their own insane thing. One guy was given a list of creatures to draw while the other was given a list of creatures to make entries for and both went to their own separate offices.
 
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You guess remember that documentary on the making of Heaven’s Gate? There was one part in the documentary where there was party where one of the actors talked about how some directors were pissed that UA was letting Michael Cimino was given all the freedom and money and they weren’t.

Unsurprisingly, we’re seeing Lucasfilm giving JJ and Ryan everything they want while others like Lord/Miller, Colin Trevorrow, and Garth Edwards aren't getting the creative-freedom and money as they want with Star Wars.
 
Man @GeneralFriendliness you weren't kidding:


Guess he missed the memo on the Marvel comics. Also Itchy's spot on about the porgs being knockoff pikachus.

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I read that as "Matt Martin from the Soy Group."
 
Honestly it shouldn't be that hard to give it at least inhuman feet. Or just make an entry claiming that only certain races of Kaleesh walk on their toes or have different feet.
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I guess this pretty much confirms that there's zero communication going on within Lucasfilm. Everyone just goes off to do their own insane thing. One guy was given a list of creatures to draw while the other was given a list of creatures to make entries for.
It's kind of funny of all the things they wanted to mention about Kaleesh was how they walked.
Also something tells me the artist is uncomfortable of giving bipeds digitrade feet, he even went out of his way to avoid them for drawing the Lasat. Instead we get this nice full page image instead
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Also don't get me started on how the Togruta entry is a one page bio about Ahsoka tano.
While Shaak ti only gets like two sentences while Ahsoka gets four paragraphs.
Also they traced one from the old republic as well.

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and yes they have an entry on that creature Luke sucked on in TLJ. Overall a mixed bag.
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I read that as "Matt Martin from the Soy Group."
Same thing really.

Also, forgot to say earlier:
It's awefully nice of Disney to give the Naughts of Ren distinct personalities when they do sweet fuck-all throughout the entire movie. Every melee weapon has the term "vibro" slapped on it (maybe it's Kennedy meddling again, like with her Squid fetish).

When I see these leather gimps with their silly swords and clubs, all I can think of is wondering how they manage to menace anyone. In a fair universe, they'd try to bother a random moisture farmer and get blasted with a Blaster-Shotgun and be buried in unmarked graves in the middle of nowhere.
 
So if KK is out but doesn't have a replacement, what happens to Lucasfilm?
I've heard (might not be true) that the Favreau/Filoni duo might take over. It sounds good on paper but if KK is gone they have to get rid of A LOT of people who were on her side (Story Group, the VPs of every LucasFilm division, etc.) because if they stay there, they could ruin SW even more.

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Of fucking course.
Gotta buy the book to see
That The new Character, Jannah, is his kid.
Then again JJ is so lazy most of us guessed this.
So it's canon? I thought that if a scene/bit of lore was cut from the final movie then it would also be cut from the canon.
 
Man @GeneralFriendliness you weren't kidding:


Guess he missed the memo on the Marvel comics. Also Itchy's spot on about the porgs being knockoff pikachus.

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I read that as "Matt Martin from the Soy Group."
Matt Martin is such a fucking liar. Even the TLJ novelization points out that Luke's X-Wing is a completely destroyed mess yet its just fine in Plan IX, and in TFA's novelization it says Rey and Poe meet despite that shit not happening until the end of TLJ. And that's just a 2 of a whole decade's worth of crap that's gone over Martin's head, and he expects us to believe he actually does any work in the Story Group or actually bothers with proof-reading or structure? This fucker thinks he's some Leland Chee but all he probably does is get donuts and coffee for the idiot wine moms in the Story Group who just talk about their upcoming line of Star Wars oven mitts.
I've heard (might not be true) that the Favreau/Filoni duo might take over. It sounds good on paper but if KK is gone they have to get rid of A LOT of people who were on her side (Story Group, the VPs of every LucasFilm division, etc.) because if they stay there, they could ruin SW even more.


So it's canon? I thought that if a scene/bit of lore was cut from the final movie then it would also be cut from the canon.
It wasn't even in the movie but early leaks said Jannah would be Lando's kid among other things. This along with the spider oracle shit and the revelation that Mustafar was in the movie removes all doubt from mind that all the leaks held some grain of truth to them but were cut due to time constraints, reshoots or whatever other disaster was happening on set.

It also sounds like even JJ knows these films are shit.

As for Filoni and Favreau. They're screwed no matter what. Kennedy has left behind too many harpies, and even Anthony Daniels knows they won't let fans get what they want. Baby Yoda is screwed.
 
Some thoughts on how to salvage The Sequel trilogy if I had to go back in time and pistol whip JJ abrams, while still sticking to the general outline of the story, which were formulated over the past half hour with the aid of a few shots of christmas rum

TFA
1. Max Von Sydow isnt fucking wasted. He is a fairly important character as both Rey's adoptive grandparent figure and the leader of her settlement, and also a former Imperial Moff who knows important info on some secret contingency shit Palpatine ordered before he went to Endor, and this is why Kylo Ren and the First Order tracked him down to Jakku.

2. His abduction and the attack on his settlement takes place later in the first act, with Poe being a New Republic agent infiltrating scavangers who were unknowingly looking for said contingency and who are quickly taken down by the First Order at the beginning of the movie.

3. Jakku is basically Space Mad Max Australia and has been the site of cataclysmic battles from ancient times due to its strategic location, including the clone wars and the galactic civil war, and is populated by both offworld scavengers looking for loot and the remnants/descendants of Imperial forces who were abandoned by the collapsing empire, and thus it is more a wartorn planetwide junkyard than Tatooine 2.0

4. Phasma is shown both easily taking out some salvaged Droidekas the scavengers at the beginning were using to defend their base in order to actually give her some halfway badass credentials, and also being a genuinely caring officer to her troops with her acting as a surrogate parent to Finn in order to give his defection and their later animosity some actual weight

5. When Finn and Poe escape, they both stay together instead of Poe pointlessly vanishing for half the movie

6. Rey is depicted as a powerful force user who has spent her life using and honing her abilities without any guidance or direction, resulting in her "style" being brute force with zero finesse, and balancing unsteadily between the dark and light sides since she has only used her abilities for combat or to aid herself and her friends/family. Basically imagine if Broly had the force.

7. Since I am maintaining the "Mary Sue" outline for the character, Rey has Kylo Ren's janky looking cruciform lightsaber from the start of the movie, coloured a reddish orange to visually indicate the whole "unknowingly teetering on the edge of the dark side" thing, and looks like it is being held together by duct tape and gorilla glue. Its explained she created it herself from stolen/scavanged parts.

8. Alongside BB8 there is a "senile" old B1 Battledroid who serves as the C3P0 replacement and resident gun nut and occasionally accurate conspiracy theorist, who loudly introduces himself as "Rey's Nemesis" but winds up swept up in their escape from the planet and then just kinda tags along with them. Imagine a wannabe HK-47 with the mind of Dale Gribble from King of the Hill. Thus all of the dumb attempts at comedy in this trilogy can safely be contained in his character and not screw up the others.

9. The five new main characters escape the planet together on a new freighter designed for the sequel trilogy as the First Order glasses it from orbit , before they depart to locate what Von Sydow's character was trying to hide from them, which is on the regional New Republic capital world.

10. Rey is naturally rather upset her home and everyone she loved is now dead or captured, with some "Vader freaks out at the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Centre" style crushing of things in her immediate vicinity, and Poe who is familiar with the Jedi due to being a high level New Republic agent immediately realises he has a possible Anakin situation on his hands and decides that they need to bring her and the information he had to his immediate boss who is also a member of the New Jedi Council....who is on the same world that the First Order are preparing to attack unknown to them.

11. Lupita Nyong'o is not wasted as an insufferably useless mouldy orange alien. She is fully fledged Jedi Master and one of Luke's best students.

12. After realising how powerful yet unstable Rey is after some "light" sparring which resulted in a little too much destruction of property, Lupita's character immediately contacts Luke at his academy.

13. The First Order attack on the planet is entirely unexpected due to how suicidal it seemingly is for what is effectively Space ISIS to openly attack the New Republic which has been desperate for an excuse to tie up this last loose end for decades, and the main characters are focused around stopping them from digging up the secret shit palpatine buried there near the start of his reign as emperor, which turns out to be the Sith Dagger from TROS. They fail, although the larger attack is defeated by the arrival of the New Republic Fleet led by General Han Solo.

14. In scenes with the First Order, Kylo Ren is established to still be a Jedi, complete with Lukes old green saber, and still considers himself to be acting for the greater good of the galaxy which is what puts him at odds with General Hux who is a bloodthirsty fanatic. The incongruity of Lukes best student and nephew choosing to join the First Order while still considering himself a Jedi is noted by pretty much everyone involved. Its also revealed that the Sith Dagger is needed to awaken and activate Starkiller base.

15. At the end of the second act the general plotline of "The First Order are trying to build some superweapon on their home world, the New Republic fleet will attack it to draw their forces away while the Nu-Main characters sneak onboard and deactivate its defences using Finn's insider info and Poe's spy knowledge. Also at this point Han, Leia, a force projection of Luke, Chewie, 3P0, and R2 will share a scene together as they formulate a plan of attack and discuss how to bring Kylo back. It will be milked for all its worth with Rey only a silent and secret witness, having snuck in to find out what they were talking about.

16. The finale goes how I and a bunch other people here have suggested. The New Republic fleet gets utterly wrecked when the "backwater first order outpost world" turns out to be the starkiller base, which becomes partially activated and easily annihilates the fleet, before creating a gigantic wormhole to the galactic core which drags the heroes with it and it destroys Coruscant as they watch helplessly, and in the end the only "victory" the heroes have is that the new main characters are able to steal back the dagger before it can fully reactivate the station and its full force related capabilities, and Han Solo kamikazes the Falcon into its core to cripple it for long enough for the heroes and survivors of the system to escape.

17. The final lightsaber duel is Kylo Ren vs Lupita's character and Rey, with Finn and Poe showing up to help as the fight progresses. Kylo easily dominates the fight, seriously wounding Lupita's character and Rey only being able to hold her ground due to her OP yet untrained force abilities, but is steadily worn down and is only saved by Finn opening fire on Kylo with some heavy weapon shit, maybe a nu-AT-ST, distracting him for long enough for Rey to force yeet him far enough away for them to escape with the dagger.

18. The film ends with the republic fallen, the first order ascendant, Snoke despatching Kylo to retrieve the dagger, and Leia now leading a newly formed Resistance. Rey is contacted by a force projection of Luke and told to come to his academy on Dagobah.

Other thoughts for TFA/the wider trilogy
- Snoke is infact the first Jedi Master, who millennia beforehand had led an army of both jedi and sith against a sentient force fueled superweapon, the Starkiller, which had the capacity to poison the force itself and effectively exterminate all sentient life in the galaxy, and while they were unable to fully destroy it they were able to send it deep into hibernation after reaching its core and Snoke force-bonding with it's consciousness and effectively becoming the machine's jailor.

- Being joined to what is effectively a force supercomputer combined with his own insane power effectively made him omniscient and omnipresent, but utterly powerless to intervene as millenia of sith vs jedi galactic wars went by, with the Old Republic era empires being obliquely referenced as a few of many such sith empires to rise and fall over the course of history, steadily embittering him into resenting the force itself for perpetrating this cycle and slowly convincing him of the need to take full control of the galaxy and end this cylindrical conflict

- The reason that it wasn't destroyed then and there was because the ancient Jedi/Sith could forsee a time when the machine would be needed to fight an even greater and possibly sequel-sequel-trilogy level evil, thus Snoke turned the Sith Dagger of his fallen rival/ally who was the first Sith Lord into a key to reawaken the full might of the base should he personally deem it necessary, and it eventually made its way into the hands of Palpatine, who would attempt to awaken the base and bring it under his own control before the events of the Prequel trilogy, but would be very violently rejected by the still sleeping machine mind and its increasingly embittered warden.

- Said Sith Lord was "Darth Ren", with the "Darth" being his actual first name since he was the OG, and the "Knights of Ren" are the order of grey force users Snoke founded in memory of his friend.

- Thus Starkiller Base is either heavily hinted or outright stated to be the real reason Palpatine ordered the Death Stars and other superweapons be made, as his inability to take control of it combined with his vague knowledge of what dwelled within freaked him the fuck out and made him develop an active countermeasure that would also serve as a general intimidation tool. Its also suggested that this is partially why he wanted an apprentice like Anakin who was supposedly even stronger than him, as such a pawn could have been used in another attempt to forcibly take control of the weapon without endangering his own life.

- The reason Kylo Ren joined snoke was because Snoke, having sensed the threat to the galaxy drawing closer, decided to awaken the machine himself and use it to apply a galaxy wide Jedi Mind Trick and effectively create one giant hive mind under his direct control, which he could then use to defeat this threat while also ending the endless cycle of brutal sith led empires and fragile jedi supported republics that had pointlessly killed so many people over the millennia. First Snoke attempted to win over Luke to his side by showing him visions of the coming threat, but when that failed he instead focused on Ren who he was able to convince to join him in order to save his family from what was coming from beyond the edges galaxy.

- Incidentally the Vong are directly mentioned in this hypothetical Nu-Nu-EU as scattered refugees having appeared a few decades ago from the outer fringes fleeing something they called "The Hungering" that apparently devoured their own galaxy
 
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Good job, also it looks better than the traced one in Alien Archive. Alot of the images are unfournately traced in this book, which is often jarring as some are traced from live action and others from the cartoons.
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Really pathetic looking book. Take the old Essential Guide to Aliens or Characters. After reading each entry you feel like you know everything there is to possibly know about the subject (in one page). Now they get a low content paragraph.
 
I doubt Disney will lose money, it won't be a bomb, but it won't be the success they need if they want to get back their 4 Billion dollars any time soon.
However the damage to the brand might be pretty heavy.

Still hoping for a 60-70% decline in viewership for the next weekend.

I don't like Hollywood and I don't like Star Wars since the Return of the Jedi or really any of the sci-fi/superhero reboots in the last few years and I hope they lose money for pushing this crap in people's lives. Funnily enough, Orwell mentioned Disney as a sort of 'post artist art' that would be viable a totalitarian dystopia

http://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/prevention/english/e_plit

It would probably not be beyond human ingenuity to write books by machinery. But a sort of mechanizing process can already be seen at work in the film and radio, in publicity and propaganda, and in the lower reaches of journalism. The Disney films, for instance, are produced by what is essentially a factory process, the work being done partly mechanically and partly by teams of artists who have to subordinate their individual style.

But they won't lose money. Interestingly in that second-weekend article they mention that rebooted sci fi/superhero movies see a second-weekend drop of 60%,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_weekend_in_box_office_performance#Second-weekend_drop

During a film's theatrical run, its box office performance generally declines from weekend to weekend. In addition to the film's opening-weekend gross, the percentage of the change between the opening weekend and the second weekend is used as a gauge for a film's commercial success.[1] Assuming that the number of theaters stays the same, a normal drop in box office gross from the first weekend to the second would be 40%. A drop of greater than 60% indicates a weak future performance.[1] Horror films are susceptible to having large drops in the second weekend and beyond even after a strong opening weekend.[2] Chris Anderson, in his 2008 book The Long Tail: Why the Future of Business Is Selling Less of More, said twenty years prior, the average film experienced a second weekend drop of less than 30% and that the contemporary drop was now around 50%. Anderson ascribed the change to moviegoers being able to better identify mediocre and bad films through more information, both from more reviews and greater word-of-mouth.[3] Slate in 2012 also reported a steeper drop over the course of the years. In the 1980s, the average drop was 15.7%, and in the 1990s, the drop was 21.5%. In 2012, the average drop was 49.1%.[4]

The Los Angeles Times said the second-weekend drop was seasonal in the United States. Between May and July, the country's summer season, films have more significant drops than during the rest of the year. It reported that in May 2014, three opening blockbuster films—The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Godzilla, and X-Men: Days of Future Past—all had drops of over 60% where films earlier in the 21st century rarely had drops that steep. The newspaper cited possible reasons for the drops: that the films did not "inspire long-term moviegoing", and that alternative platforms such as Redbox, Netflix, and video on demand attracted film audiences who missed a film's opening weekend.[5] The Hollywood Reporter said in 2017, "Generally speaking, a superhero film can fall 60 percent," highlighting Wonder Woman's second-weekend drop of 45% as "scant" compared to others in the genre.[6] In 2019, Dark Phoenix set a new record for the biggest second-weekend box office drop for a superhero film with 72.6%.[7]

What I think is happening is that the studios spend a tonne of cash on hyping their movie that gets people out for the first weekend. After that word of mouth spreads that it's a shitty movie and thus you see that 60%+ drop. The interesting thing is that whenever a movie is heading for a 60% drop there'll be a bunch of articles in the shill media about how well it is doing, just like what happens when Samsung launches a crappy phone which is selling worse than the last one.

And if you look at those figures and how long previous films have stayed in theatres I'm guessing they'll just keep the POS shit playing in thousands of movie theatres until they at least break even. Solo was in studios for 120 days and The Last Jedi for 126. Plus there's all the marketing crap that you'll end up buying for your kids.

The interesting thing is though that the current studio environment reminds me very much of the studio environment that Lucas and Coppola tried to break out of in the 1970s. When Coppola said Marvel movies were more like a theme park ride than cinema he wasn't kidding. Ironically once Lucas broke out of the studio system and could do what he wanted he made the prequel trilogy which was unwatchable while the first trilogy, Star Wars to Return of the Jedi, still seem like good films even today. Mind you, maybe that's just nostalgia because I saw them first when I was a kid.
 
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Really pathetic looking book. Take the old Essential Guide to Aliens or Characters. After reading each entry you feel like you know everything there is to possibly know about the subject (in one page). Now they get a paragraph.

Yeah I prefer the older guides better, they had better art, and overall better information. Alien archive isn't a bad source book, there have been worse ones in the nu-canon, but just a disappointment.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: GeneralFriendliness
As for Filoni and Favreau. They're screwed no matter what. Kennedy has left behind too many harpies, and even Anthony Daniels knows they won't let fans get what they want. Baby Yoda is screwed.
You think so? It'd be pretty wild if Disney upper management let Kennedy's Klique kill off all the momentum in Star Wars as a brand, twice.
 
Seriously, why was this so hard for Disney? A bunch of fucking shitposters on an australian chicken stalking forum have a better grasp of story and character design than a multi-billion dollar company. How the fuck did things get so shit to the point where the corporate toyetic commercialism of the 80s now looks like art compared to Disney's shit?

It’s because we’ve reached the point where the people managing creative properties are now many steps removed from the working and middle class. George Lucas worked on his own car growing up and retired on a farm. Abrams emerged fully-formed from his mother’s womb as a coastal elite fuckhead.
 
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Who doesn't? They're fucking hideous. Also I find it amusing that Hidalgo keeps pushing these guys as "Ithorian cousins with a different name" despite all concept art and promo shit calling them Ithorians.

Also this thing was in IX.
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According to the IX dictionary, his species has no eyes, nose, ears or even a brain. Instead its main sensory organ and nerves are in its mouth, so its head is just one giant fanged mouth and it constantly needs to grin to be able to sense things. The machine over his mouth is used as a substitute for brain, eyes, and ears... These things are naturally born like this? Who came up with these horrors? Does someone in the costume department have a fetish for brainless things? Or is this a metaphor for how Disney wishes its fans could be like?

I swear to god, I killed that fucking thing in Doom 3 with a Shotgun.
 
Here's a conspiracy theory without any evidence besides Disney being evil: Disney bribed Universal to release Cats half finished so a lot of the negative press would flow on it instead of SW.
Crazier things have happened. I can get behind that since most media are run by the few who reinforce the facets of "don't think, feel good and consume."
 
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