Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Creep3r]

You think so? It'd be pretty wild if Disney upper management let Kennedy's Klique kill off all the momentum in Star Wars as a brand, twice.

I wouldn't be surprised if they did. As much as I hate Mister Bones, that queer HK-47/Deadpool donut steal proved to be very popular among nu-fans and the tumblr crowd, with plenty of obnoxious fanart and news articles being produced around him, but Disney never did anything with it except kill it then have Snap "Gasser" Wexley briefly make a double of it that also got destroyed.

Also wtf, this metal asshole can fly too? They couldn't even come up with an original design for it. They just took a B1 Battle Droid and painted it like Deadpool.

Anyway, Baby Yoda is also very popular, more so than Mr. Bones and he's taking away attention from Rey, so I wouldn't be surprised if Baby Yoda gets killed or the Mando abandons him at some monastery or somewhere from the sequels.

 

[Judge Holden]

Seriously, why was this so hard for Disney? A bunch of fucking shitposters on an australian chicken stalking forum have a better grasp of story and character design than a multi-billion dollar company. How the fuck did things get so shit to the point where the corporate toyetic commercialism of the 80s now looks like art compared to Disney's shit?

Because they didnt care, and they hired people who didnt care. KK didnt care. JJ didnt care. Rian definitely didnt care. The Nu EU story group absolutely didnt care beyond mining it for shit they could ripoff and apply a snark-woke paintjob to.

Marvel, for better or worse, hired someone who cared to oversee the movies, and it paid off in spades for them.

Hell, Walt Disney, for all his flaws and for all his legacy has become a monster, cared about his work, and thus his work allowed him to build his own goddamn empire.

Its not simply being a sthuper-duper fanboy of the franchise, its about caring enough to actively want to tell a good story that people will like and that will both honour the existing mythos and also give whomever comes next plenty of scope to write the next chapter.

Thus even the highest payed execs and hackfrauds fail to exceed the drunk spergings of bored shitposters from kiwifarms to reddit to literal fapfiction sites

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

this got me thinking - is there anything in the new trilogy that is actually 'cool' in the eyes of little boys?

There ain't much. When TFA came out my son was briefly obsessed with it, but soon moved on to Paw Patrol. None of his little friends or cousins seem to care about Star Wars either anymore.

BB-8 and Kylo Ren were the only characters who appealed to small boys (toddlers probably relate to Kylo's tantrums, and BB is a cute robot). Rey, Finn, Poe, Hux and geriatric Han Solo had zero traction with the kids - boy or girl. The toy sections in stores reflect this - used to see a lot of unsold Rey dolls gathering dust before going on clearance.

Buying Christmas presents this year I barely noticed any SW toys - not even porgs, even though the new movie is out. Looks like retailers have cut their losses on trying to push this stuff on kids. Ryan's World is way more popular with the juice box crowd, and he's just a Youtuber

 

[Zaryiu]

View attachment 1055450

I'm skipping to the end of the thread, i don't need this shit on Christmas's Eve, if i missed anything of value just tell me

 

[Creep3r]

There ain't much. When TFA came out my son was briefly obsessed with it, but soon moved on to Paw Patrol. None of his little friends or cousins seem to care about Star Wars either anymore.

BB-8 and Kylo Ren were the only characters who appealed to small boys (toddlers probably relate to Kylo's tantrums, and BB is a cute robot). Rey, Finn, Poe, Hux and geriatric Han Solo had zero traction with the kids - boy or girl. The toy sections in stores reflect this - used to see a lot of unsold Rey dolls gathering dust before going on clearance.

Buying Christmas presents this year I barely noticed any SW toys - not even porgs, even though the new movie is out. Looks like retailers have cut their losses on trying to push this stuff on kids. Ryan's World is way more popular with the juice box crowd, and he's just a Youtuber

Its the same with the stores I've been to. I did some Christmas shopping myself last week and as I said then, stores were packed with Frozen shit, Marvel shit, all kinds of shit, but SW shit was all but reduced to tiny sections in almost every store I went to or removed altogether, and the only toys that were available was re-releases of OT stuff, a few Kylo Ren lightsabers and masks, and some unsold shit from Rogue One that has been lining certain shelves for ages. And none of the younger members of my family asked for anything SW-related either. They all wanted Frozen shit, dinosaurs and video games like Pokemon SwSh.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Seriously, why was this so hard for Disney? A bunch of fucking shitposters on an australian chicken stalking forum have a better grasp of story and character design than a multi-billion dollar company. How the fuck did things get so shit to the point where the corporate toyetic commercialism of the 80s now looks like art compared to Disney's shit?

It’s because of the idiots at Lucasfilms who didn’t care and want to enforce their agenda and ideology onto others. Also hiring directors that have incompatible visions to go with the trilogy and then forcing them to do things.

Really Kathleen Kennedy and the Story Group idiots are the ones at fault in the end as Disney wouldn’t have cared what they did as long as money is made, JJ and Rian wanted to do things but were given too much free reign while also being very restricted, and the Lucasfilms people just destroyed all ideas that George Lucas had.

 

[Ghostse]

Adam Driver has nothing to worry about, dude is getting good leading roles in smaller movies now which won't dry up anytime soon, plus likely to be up for best actor at the oscars.

Adam has his next film already lined up.


Daniel Radcliff & Equus reference

KK is a lame duck. This is almost definitely why information security on Plan 9 imploded. No one cared about pissing off executives because they aren't worried about having their careers fucked with for the next few decades.

 

[JambledUpWords]

What’s better?

Plan 9 from Outer Space or Episode IX

 

[ComeoutandJULAY]

The worst thing a sequel can do is invalidate the accomplishments of the original and make the character arcs mean nothing. Pass the torch respectfully, don’t snatch the torch and kick them in the balls.

You know, with the amount of shit the Disney trilogy undoes from the OT, it's no mystery why Return of the Jedi is afraid of The Force Awakens.

Spoiler

Because The Force Awakens The Last Jedi The Rise of Skywalker.

I'll see myself out now.

 

[ASoulMan]

Seriously, why was this so hard for Disney? A bunch of fucking shitposters on an australian chicken stalking forum have a better grasp of story and character design than a multi-billion dollar company. How the fuck did things get so shit to the point where the corporate toyetic commercialism of the 80s now looks like art compared to Disney's shit?

I know people have said similar things already but I'll have my say on the matter anyway:

Because they are not fans. They were never truly fans of the franchise. They're all corporate hacks that only see using Star Wars as a machine that'll print money for them while also using it to hamfist their crappy political and social views.

And the worst part is, like Sonic, people will buy their shit simply because it has the name Star Wars on it regardless of quality. Because if it has Star Wars in the title then it HAS to be good right.....right?!?!?!?!?

 

[verissimus]

I'm skipping to the end of the thread, i don't need this shit on Christmas's Eve, if i missed anything of value just tell me

It's Disney Star Wars, you pretty much can't miss anything of value besides apparently Baby Yoda.

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

Its the same with the stores I've been to. I did some Christmas shopping myself last week and as I said then, stores were packed with Frozen shit, Marvel shit, all kinds of shit, but SW shit was all but reduced to tiny sections in almost every store I went to or removed altogether

Which is crazy, right?

When I was a kid I lusted after this thing

My parents were poor though, so all I had to play with was a crappy Ewok doll that looked like a cheap plastic rendering of a constipated yeti with fucked up teeth.

But that was back in the day when having an old black and white television in your room was a big deal for a child, and most of your time not in school involved playing in the street. I dunno if the Ritchie Rich kids who got Millennium Falcons for Christmas were much different. Basically, kids' entertainment choices were limited, and even if your Dad drove a Ferrari and bought you everything your greedy little heart wanted, there were only so many kid-friendly franchises vying for your attention.

Kids are incredibly spoiled for entertainment choice these days, so it's harder to sell them on any specific range of toys - and you have to take the iPad or Playstation controller out of their hands with a crowbar first.

But it's still Star Wars, so it should still be a license to print money, right? Except no, because the new movies are weak and hold little appeal to children. The only demographic still buying SW merch looks like this:

 

[Love Machine]

I actually chose to fix that nightmare tooth thing:
View attachment 1066219

Not the greatest edit (200+ hours in paint.net), but a shitload better looking with a half-mask for it.

Way to rip of kenshi...

 

[Ghostse]

@Jaimas
@fuckass
@King Dead

I think of Rogue One was an in-universe Rebel Propaganda film. They can't acknowledge the actions of Kyle Katarn, so they borrowed the story of another black-ops team who died on mission, and gave them credit for stealing the plans.

Rogue One was a decent movie that was stitched together from scenes from looked like it would have been a better movie.
The characters had actual arcs. Good space battle action. Also K2-SO. It was 100% memberberries (and when it wasn't, it was pretty much garbage) but it was at least Disney not shitting over everything that came before when doing them.
until the very fucking end. That was a terrible fucking ending to go literally right in ANH.

Re: Uncanny Digital Zombies, that was supposedly a decision forced on the movie. Disney wanted to demo their digi-zombie face technology, and Rogue One was the test bed. It was perfect: you have fully-dead (with sizable film & photograph) library Cushing, and you have "Not Dead Yet, just aged by Coke & Heroin" Fisher. Cushing lets you demo bringing back iconic actors, Fisher lets you see how it works on someone still alive but too old to reprise a role.
You haven't seen it since, so audience reaction was pretty fucking clear it wasn't ready.


The Vader fight at the end was fucking cool & well done start to finish, but, agreed, made almost zero sense. (Honestly it would have been more Vader to see him strolling down the center of the hall, but this time at the head of the troopers, and never stopping - deflecting blasters and force-throwing bitches like its a lazy sunday, but I'm not made with the scene, when you watch it in isolation).

 

[Extremist Frank]

Lord forgive me, for I saw this turd today.

I expected a 0/10, but I’m comfortable giving it a 1.5/10 for reasons I’ll explain below:

1. I absolutely hated this movie, and I say this as a massive Star Wars nerd. The pacing sucked, the plot sucked, the score sucked, the dialogue sucked, the characters largely sucked, and-somehow- the extras fucking sucked. I could fill a page with plot holes, inconsistencies, and blatant hypocrisy.
2. TRoS would have been pretty good IF it itself had been a trilogy combined with an abbreviated version of TFA.
3. It made TLJ completely superfluous asides from being necessary for minor commentary.

I gave it 1 point for being better than TLJ and 0.5 because Emperor Palpatine’s dialogue was pretty decent besides I am all teh Sith and C3PO was actually a pretty good comic relief.

tldr the film sucked — the 5m Tenet commercial before the film started was more interesting.

 

[Zaryiu]

It's Disney Star Wars, you pretty much can't miss anything of value besides apparently Baby Yoda.

I meant posts that i should read

 

[Jaimas]

this got me thinking - is there anything in the new trilogy that is actually 'cool' in the eyes of little boys?

i remember when i was a kid and the prequels were releasing, they were full of super cool shit. darth maul and his double light saber, the droidekas, count dooku's entire character, the sick space fight scene between obi wan and jango fett in that asteroid belt, the pod race, the massive battle of droids against clones at the end of episode 2, we all absolutely loved that shit.

now when i look a these sequel movies, i barely see anything that i woul have thought of as cool and awesome when i was a kid. kylo ren freezing the blaster shot at the beginning of TFA was pretty good, and if he had just kept on the mask for the entire movie and kept his mouth shut more then he would probably have been a cool villain like maul was, but he just turned out to be a whiny emo kid, and that's really unappealing.

There's none, and the new merch doesn't sell.
Do you know why?

Back when the OT and PT was the new hotness, there was inspiration, there was energy and excitement. People who watched the movies would get invested and they'd want more of the universe, they'd want to have their own adventures, want to learn more about it, want to see what happened after the movies were over and what could happen on their own. There was tons to draw from. They could play with awesome, inspired toys, play some fantastic video games (that to this day stack up), and get more invested. The Phantom Menace may be one of the weaker movies but there was so much potential there that it won people over anyway. Cool ideas, great design, and a genuine desire to expand the series in fun ways led to a groundswell of good ideas to draw from. Even the PT at its worst was driven by a desire to do right by the franchise and it showed legitimate love.

There's none of that in the Sequel trilogy. The people Disney put in charge of Star Wars hate the property and hate its fandom. It shows. The characters they created are blank slates, empty and vapid. They care nothing for the universe, its canon, its possibilities. So they delete everything that doesn't conform to what they want to do and make sure every potential avenue for fun or excitement gets stomped flat. At launch of TFA, I knew there was a few fans of Kylo, BB8, Poe, and Finn, who liked what they offered and represented. Disney fucked them over hardest of all, and then hired people who intentionally tried to ruin the universe out of spite.

There's no soul in the ST. And like Mask de Smith said, "Kids are pure. They already know who the best is."

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

The Rise of Skywalker has currently grossed $433,540,627 from a $275 million dollar budget, which is still a bit less than what is necessary for it to so much as break even (assuming the "twice the budget" rule of thumb for breaking even in cinema, the marketing costs could easily make the requirements for breaking even much higher).

 

[AnOminous]

The Rise of Skywalker has currently grossed $433,540,627 from a $275 million dollar budget, which is still a bit less than what is necessary for it to so much as break even (assuming the "twice the budget" rule of thumb for breaking even in cinema, the marketing costs could easily make the requirements for breaking even much higher).

Does the gross include all those tickets that were being given away for free left and right?

 

[Ghostse]

Lord forgive me, for I saw this turd today.

I expected a 0/10, but I’m comfortable giving it a 1.5/10 for reasons I’ll explain below:

1. I absolutely hated this movie, and I say this as a massive Star Wars nerd. The pacing sucked, the plot sucked, the score sucked, the dialogue sucked, the characters largely sucked, and-somehow- the extras fucking sucked. I could fill a page with plot holes, inconsistencies, and blatant hypocrisy.
2. TRoS would have been pretty good IF it itself had been a trilogy combined with an abbreviated version of TFA.
3. It made TLJ completely superfluous asides from being necessary for minor commentary.

I gave it 1 point for being better than TLJ and 0.5 because Emperor Palpatine’s dialogue was pretty decent besides I am all teh Sith and C3PO was actually a pretty good comic relief.

tldr the film sucked — the 5m Tenet commercial before the film started was more interesting.

Why would you give Disney money for a product you knew you'd hate?