Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[AirdropShitposts]

If Twitter wasn't run by Nazis he wouldn't have to get "spam" that "DDoSes" his e-mail for months at a time. Unfortunately there's literally nothing Jake can do, his only hope is to continue tweeting until someone does something he hasn't specified ever.

I really don't understand how Jake manages to be so helpless. It must be a full time job in itself finding new ways to not do simple things.

He considers reporting things on Twitter his "night job" according to this Googleshng describing his daily helplessness:

 

[Tragi-Chan]

The saying “Better to say nothing and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt” could have been coined for Jake.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

I love Jake's annual "let's make a big deal out of applying for a unicorn job a thousand people will apply for" saga.

Those kinds of jobs pay dick and require hours that would make Jake cry like a little (secret gamer) girl, and they'll want to see that you've worked an actual office job in your life. Imagine Jake trying to get set up on a company Slack channel and going through orientation.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I love Jake's annual "let's make a big deal out of applying for a unicorn job a thousand people will apply for" saga.

Those kinds of jobs pay dick and require hours that would make Jake cry like a little (secret gamer) girl, and they'll want to see that you've worked an actual office job in your life. Imagine Jake trying to get set up on a company Slack channel and going through orientation.

Imagine Amazonian, buxom red-haired Jake showing up in his best dress for an interview.
I wish he’d get an interview.

 

[Water-T]

I love Jake's annual "let's make a big deal out of applying for a unicorn job a thousand people will apply for" saga.

Those kinds of jobs pay dick and require hours that would make Jake cry like a little (secret gamer) girl, and they'll want to see that you've worked an actual office job in your life. Imagine Jake trying to get set up on a company Slack channel and going through orientation.

"Hmmm....well, I can see that your resume is very robust with such jobs such as "sperging in an attic for 5 years" and "terrorism expert". I would love to see the credentials for those but you refuse to give us any and list no references except your mom and someone named Zoe Quinn. By the way, we tried to contact her with the email and phone number you provided us, but the only responses we got were, "FUCK OFF, JAKE".

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

Wow, Jake has moved from obsessing over Zoe to obsessing over BECOMING Zoe. She better watch the fuck out, pretty soon he's going to be moving on to his "ZoeSuit" prototype phase when the titty skittles don't make him look like her.

And yes, Jake, we all know you don't have friends. You know what doesn't get you friends? Whining on twitter about you don't have friends. Oh, and about how you're constantly in mortal danger because you get made fun of for being a neckbeard.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Has anyone been able to find the "narrative designer" job he's applying for? There can't be too many out there.

 

[Kane Lives]

Has anyone been able to find the "narrative designer" job he's applying for? There can't be too many out there.

They're in the same category as "idea guy" so yes, there isn't very many. Plus, these sort tended to draw from internal promotions (see: writers) or networking.

 

[Shield Breaker]

Wow, Jake has moved from obsessing over Zoe to obsessing over BECOMING Zoe. She better watch the fuck out, pretty soon he's going to be moving on to his "ZoeSuit" prototype phase when the titty skittles don't make him look like her.

And yes, Jake, we all know you don't have friends. You know what doesn't get you friends? Whining on twitter about you don't have friends. Oh, and about how you're constantly in mortal danger because you get made fun of for being a neckbeard.

I believe that there is another tranny referred to as Buffalo Bill around here, but Jake always gave me that vibe from his posts.

If Twitter wasn't run by Nazis he wouldn't have to get "spam" that "DDoSes" his e-mail for months at a time. Unfortunately there's literally nothing Jake can do, his only hope is to continue tweeting until someone does something he hasn't specified ever.


He considers reporting things on Twitter his "night job" according to this Googleshng describing his daily helplessness:
View attachment 1066421View attachment 1066422View attachment 1066423View attachment 1066424

I am not a technical person, so pardon my ignorance, but is it even possible to ddos an email??

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Narrative Designer/Writer

Harebrained Schemes, a Paradox Studio, seeks an experienced writer/narrative designer for a new project! We’re looking for someone who can quickly sketch nuanced characters, write witty dialogue imbued with subtext, and design nonlinear stories with an eye for replayability and player agency...

hbsstudios.bamboohr.com

I'm going to bet on this as being Jake's unicorn.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

I'm pretty sure all of Jake's eye problems could be solved if he didn't keep pulling on them while wearing his coolie hat and saying "Bing Bong, Ching Chong.." or maybe not stare at a computer screen all day in a dimly lit gnome cave. Not a doctor, just guessing

 

[wabbits]

Jake is basically a spiritual boomer despite not being a literal one.

Trans boomer - like ol' Zinnia. Let 'em join grandma's pickle ball league or there will be angry demonstrations outside the seniors center.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Narrative Designer/Writer

Harebrained Schemes, a Paradox Studio, seeks an experienced writer/narrative designer for a new project! We’re looking for someone who can quickly sketch nuanced characters, write witty dialogue imbued with subtext, and design nonlinear stories with an eye for replayability and player agency...

hbsstudios.bamboohr.com

I'm going to bet on this as being Jake's unicorn.

On the one hand it's in Kirkland, WA.
On the other hand, it doesn't matter if it's in Mystic, CT or on the other side of the country, it might as well be on the far side of the moon if you're too God Damned Autistic to leave the house.

On another topic: I was reading some stupid clickbait, and they linked to an "academic study" of "bot activity" relating to Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I checked it out, and they have an official list of "bot-like" characteristics of an account.
I attached the study here so as not to give it too many extra clicks. It's mostly laughable, but the "Methods" section does conveniently aggregate together some widely-accepted bot spotting heuristics.

Jake doesn't flag every single one of them, but he does flag quite a few:
- Sends more than 50 tweets a day
- 70% or more of their tweets are retweets (I haven't counted but this seems quite likely)
- "Don’t change the visual presentation of their profile very much from the default settings"
- "they insert themselves in, and often solely focus on, discussions that take up space in American media discourse"
- "prefer the Twitter Web client over the mobile client"
- "They also often pretend to be sources of information or news outlets"
- "Tweets from Russian trolls exceeded the base line between 7am and 10pm and then again — more substantially — between 12 noon and 5pm UTC"

Someone with Twitter should run Jake's account through Botometer and see if he gets flagged as a bot:

Botometer by OSoMe

Botometer® (formerly BotOrNot) checks the activity of Twitter accounts and gives them a score based on how likely they are to be bots. Higher scores are more bot-like. Brought to you by the Observatory on Social Media (OSoMe) at Indiana University.

botometer.iuni.iu.edu

 

[AirdropShitposts]

thing is broken, thinks he's human:

he was still going on about full-on terrorist shoe0nhead before crashing into slumber

 

[Water-T]

Oh, yes - shoeonhead, the notorious gamergate terrorist who killed millions of trannies and blew up the homes of Zoe, Brianna, and Anita.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

"A list was made by an anti-abuse org..."

Masterful use of the passive voice in creating ethical investigative journalism there, eh, Jake? Shouldn't you mention maybe at some point that you were one of the main members of the group and writers of the list?

 

[Cleric of Autism]

"A list was made by an anti-abuse org..."

Masterful use of the passive voice in creating ethical investigative journalism there, eh, Jake? Shouldn't you mention maybe at some point that you were one of the main members of the group and writers of the list?

Why would he do that? Ethics in journalism is something the nazis want, not him.

 

[Kosher Dill]

thing is broken, thinks he's human:

What kind of score does an actual human get on there?

One reason he has an artificially low bot score is his followers. An elevated ratio of following:followers is a sign of being a bot, but Jake still has those few thousand followers, even though they're all muting him.
The age of his account also probably helps, since the "typical bot" they're screening for is a newly created throwaway.

 

[Haramburger]

Are you guys saying that Jake Alley of Niantic, CT may find himself inside a courtroom if he keeps up that talk?
View attachment 1065847



He posted this a few days ago, image of his Gmail inbox:

The claim that he can't find the message is complete nonsense, even if you never deleted all this shit, Gmail lets you search a million different ways. He could find a Twitter support ticket for a report about a specific username if he wanted to. The idea that he couldn't find the select e-mails not from Twitter is even more absurd.

strongly agree. I keep a 27K+ inbox and there's dozens of times I've keyword searched to find a solution to an old issue or build problem that was pulled from an old conversation or email chain, or retrieved precious credentials for a login that probably shouldn't work but does. Jake is willfully impotent.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

What kind of score does an actual human get on there?

One reason he has an artificially low bot score is his followers. An elevated ratio of following:followers is a sign of being a bot, but Jake still has those few thousand followers, even though they're all muting him.
The age of his account also probably helps, since the "typical bot" they're screening for is a newly created throwaway.

It should be pretty clear that Jake isn't a bot. Bots have a purpose.