Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

It seems to have SOME similarities to Dengar in that Dengar did have several cybernetic enhancements like prosthetic eyes and are both said to be Correlian, but there's no way that's Dengar. Even Wookieepedia refuses to accept that as Dengar giving the character it's own page.

And there is absolutely no mention of Rothgar Deng in his own article.

So yeah, Disney might WANT it to be Dengar, but fuck Disney and everything Disney thinks.
I mean you did link the Legends article of Dengar even though if I refuse to accept anything Disney as 'canon' at this point. But at this point it does look more like vague youtube theory-sperg fodder than anything concrete until some nu-comic or novel establishes that this is in fact Dengar.
 
I mean you did link the Legends article of Dengar even though if I refuse to accept anything Disney as 'canon' at this point. But at this point it does look more like vague youtube theory-sperg fodder than anything concrete until some nu-comic or novel establishes that this is in fact Dengar.
I forgot to click back from Legends to Canon because I searched both. Even the canon entry makes absolutely no mention of it.

So yeah, probably an autistic fan theory based on name similarity alone.
 
You know, I am starting to think that J.J saying "Ruin Johnson didn't actually ruin my plans, guys" was him lying as to not give him the satisfaction of shitting his ideas.

Still, that wasn't an excuse for making ROS so bad, as it was still possible to save ROS. This is how I would've fixed it:

If the rumors are true, George's idea of using the son of Mortis would have been great, and it would've fixed Ruin Johnson's trash. You could explain that it's was the sons' refusal to accept defeat by the chosen one, which was forcing the galaxy to repeat itself: A cycle of sith emperors rising after being defeated by Jedi. Which would explain the member-berries for plot reasons: The galaxy was literally repeating itself on purpose.

Luke cut himself off the force because the son was trying to corrupt him directly (which would explain him trying to kill Kylo), to become just like his father. I would also ignore Luke's death. We saw him disappearing, not bleeding so that would've been easy to fix. Maybe saying that he is in some spiritual realm or something.

Snoke and Kylo ren were just pawns of the son trying to replace Vader and Palatine.

But Kylo Ren managed to break the cycle by killing Snoke, so to keep the cycle going the son of Mortis decides to keep the cycle going by making him his replacement of Snoke.

Then the movie would've been about Rey training with Luke and then trying to stop the First Order only to realize that she was just playing into the son's game. Kylo was just the son's pawn. The climax would be her facing the true villain: the son of Mortis, who was too arrogant to consider her a treat because she was a "nobody". The son would try to tempt her by giving her what she wanted a family and a sense of purpose. But the only way to win is to give up everything she ever wanted(a family; a sense of purpose) to save the day and breaking the cycle, aka embracing the light side of the force. Her OPness could be explained by the daughter subtly aiding her as her champion.

Luke could even end up adopting her as her daughter or something, so becoming a skywalker would feel earned.

If Disney really wanted Palpatine for marketing, he could've just been an illusion trying to corrupt Rey or something.

But J.J had to go with member berries and bringing back Palpapatine because he is a hack and he is only good at rehashing someone else's ideas.
 
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I already wrote about how JJ ruined Luke and Ray (before Ruin ruined them further), so I'll do the last one on Kylo Ren. It's gonna be the last one because there aren't any other actual "characters" that are so fucked they needed to be retconned to save (more because JJ doesn't write characters) and the changes in the settings were already talked about to death.

So what did JJ done to make Kylo Ren unsalavagable? EVERYTHING. Kylo is the epitome of the moral insanity that audience holds today, he proves that the problem with the Joker (in the 2019 film) is not that he was white and male, but rather that he looked too ugly for the average female viewer to be fap material.

Kylo Ren has directly and knowingly constributed to the deaths of billions of people through the death planet (remember that?). Chaos Warbands in 40K wish they had this kill number. He is beyond any sort of salvation. He is worse than Hitler, Mao, Stalin and Hillary put together. The moral dissonance that as long as people die via pretty special effects is disturbing and the fact that his irredimable act is "only" killing a character we love only exacerbates it.

An evil character that turns into good can be done, but requires mitigating circumstances: The character is too young to realize his actions or is not aware of their consequences, the character literally has no choice but to follow, the character tries to change the system from within and chooses the lesser evil. Kylo is none of that, he shows that JJ has no concept of morality or responsibility.
 
I already wrote about how JJ ruined Luke and Ray (before Ruin ruined them further), so I'll do the last one on Kylo Ren. It's gonna be the last one because there aren't any other actual "characters" that are so fucked they needed to be retconned to save (more because JJ doesn't write characters) and the changes in the settings were already talked about to death.

So what did JJ done to make Kylo Ren unsalavagable? EVERYTHING. Kylo is the epitome of the moral insanity that audience holds today, he proves that the problem with the Joker (in the 2019 film) is not that he was white and male, but rather that he looked too ugly for the average female viewer to be fap material.

Kylo Ren has directly and knowingly constributed to the deaths of billions of people through the death planet (remember that?). Chaos Warbands in 40K wish they had this kill number. He is beyond any sort of salvation. He is worse than Hitler, Mao, Stalin and Hillary put together. The moral dissonance that as long as people die via pretty special effects is disturbing and the fact that his irredimable act is "only" killing a character we love only exacerbates it.

An evil character that turns into good can be done, but requires mitigating circumstances: The character is too young to realize his actions or is not aware of their consequences, the character literally has no choice but to follow, the character tries to change the system from within and chooses the lesser evil. Kylo is none of that, he shows that JJ has no concept of morality or responsibility.

You just delivered a solid one-two punch to the Reylo fangirls. Joker was an excellent movie in comparison too. Adam Driver is okay as an actor, but the new Star Wars is so poorly written that they wasted his potential and several possible moral dilemma avenues that he could have gone down.

Needless deaths of beloved characters, retconning of established lore, and forcing in Mary Sue bullshit at every given opportunity...Kylo Ren might be a genocidal monster, but the true lack of morality lies with the real Sith Lords who were handed the biggest IP in all of history.

Star Wars may be dead, but at least until Darth Ruin is directed to do a remake of it, I say throw all that DisneyWars stuff in the garbage and watch The Ice Pirates instead.


Oh please, PLEASE don't let them ruin this for me. I couldn't take it.
 
You know, I am starting to think that J.J saying "Ruin Johnson didn't actually ruin my plans, guys" was him lying as to not give him the satisfaction of shitting his ideas.

Still, that wasn't an excuse for making ROS so bad, as it was still possible to save ROS. This is how I would've fixed it:

If the rumors are true, George's idea of using the son of Mortis would have been great, and it would've fixed Ruin Johnson's trash. You could explain that it's was the sons' refusal to accept defeat by the chosen one, which was forcing the galaxy to repeat itself: A cycle of sith emperors rising after being defeated by Jedi. Which would explain the member-berries for plot reasons: The galaxy was literally repeating itself on purpose.

Luke cut himself off the force because the son was trying to corrupt him directly (which would explain him trying to kill Kylo), to become just like his father. I would also ignore Luke's death. We saw him disappearing, not bleeding so that would've been easy to fix. Maybe saying that he is in some spiritual realm or something.

Snoke and Kylo ren were just pawns of the son trying to replace Vader and Palatine.

But Kylo Ren managed to break the cycle by killing Snoke, so to keep the cycle going the son of Mortis decides to keep the cycle going by making him his replacement of Snoke.

Then the movie would've been about Rey training with Luke and then trying to stop the First Order only to realize that she was just playing into the son's game. Kylo was just the son's pawn. The climax would be her facing the true villain: the son of Mortis, who was too arrogant to consider her a treat because she was a "nobody". The son would try to tempt her by giving her what she wanted a family and a sense of purpose. But the only way to win is to give up everything she ever wanted(a family; a sense of purpose) to save the day and breaking the cycle, aka embracing the light side of the force. Her OPness could be explained by the daughter subtly aiding her as her champion.

Luke could even end up adopting her as her daughter or something, so becoming a skywalker would feel earned.

If Disney really wanted Palpatine for marketing, he could've just been an illusion trying to corrupt Rey or something.

But J.J had to go with member berries and bringing back Palpapatine because he is a hack and he is only good at rehashing someone else's ideas.

That could work but that would require giving a hefty amount of exposition on who the Son of Mortis is considering general audiences would not know.

I wondered why they went to Palpatine, and the reason is, everything else was so confusing and odd that there wasn't a clear cut villain with a clear cut motivation in it. Kylo and Hux could have been the clear cut villains, but they were always pussyfooting around with a Kylo redemption arc and Hux being a turncoat, which he eventually became.
So Snoke is dead, Kylo is a half-assed "villain" who is concluding his face turn, Hux just flipped, Captain Phasma is a lowly chump, there's no other clearly defined number 2 that was in the other movies, so who do you have on deck? General Enric Pryde? He can't carry this movie as the chief heavy, he's just a glib replacement for Hux that is freshly introduced in The Rise of Skywalker.
Palpatine is the only overtly evil guy in the movies so far that everybody already knows. He's got some heft to him, cred, gravitas, and he also isn't going to pussyfoot around and become a good guy. It just makes you think, well, why not have Palpatine teased in the first one the way they had Luke teased at the end of the first one? If Hux was a mole the whole time, why not have that be a major plot point in Episode 8 and have Enric Pryde be the principal military antagonist in the whole thing? Maybe that's what was going to happen in Episode 8, before Rian Johnson dropped the script on the ground, then his pants, and "subverted the expectations."

I don't think that is an excuse because if they can work around bringing Palpatine back from an inescapable death, they could've just brought Snoke back and use some force shit especially since TLJ brought the idea of Astral Projection powers to the movies so they could've gone with that.
 
Okay so after a day of processing that shitfest, I'm ready. Need to break this up.
That movie lacked a thing that's most important to movies aiming to tell a story. Pacing. Note, I say lacked and not "had shit pacing". I've never seen a big budget movie like this spectacularly fail at pacing in awhile. In an attempt to make up for the various shortcomings of The Last Jedi AND The Force Awakens AND Rise of Skywalker itself the movie feels like 3-4 different movies crammed into fucking one. The shortcomings of each movie is largely important to this movie and I'll go over the big ones.
Never explaining the First Order (TFA or TLJ)
Weaponizing Lightspeed (TLJ)
Rey never getting training (TLJ)
The off-screen dismantling of the the Republic fleet and destruction of the Republic (TFA)
Snoke being present, but not explained (TFA and TLJ)
Rey's parents (TFA)
Lack of core cast connecting with each other (TFA and TLJ)
Leia not being dead before Carrie Fisher was dead because UGHHH IT DESTROYED MY EXPECTATIONS (TLJ)
Leia's force sensitivity (TFA)
And the list fucking goes on. This movie attempts to address shit that they had 2 fucking whole movies to address. But JJ Abrams is a hack fraud who wanted to make a soft reboot of Star Wars AND a sequel (Force Awakens) and didn't do a good job at either so the series didn't go forward with existing characters and the existing world while also not doing a good job of introducing "new" characters and concepts. And Rian Johnson had his head up his own ass and was so focused on breaking expectations that he ignored what LITTLE The Force Awakens set up aside from Kylo's character arc. It's a fucking mess and its all Disney and JJ's fault because NOBODY knew what they were fucking doing. It's actually embarrassing.
I'm breaking up the plot into various parts because Jesus Christ

So I've already described why the pacing is a clusterfuck, but can you even imagine how this affects the story? It's incredible, things happen at an incredible speed and then slow down only to resume throwing more information at the audience. Things are addressed at lightspeed and dropped and I shit you not a whole character arc happens in like 2 minutes because they had that little time to wrap up this fucking movie. It's actually one of the most spectacularly shocking moments of the movie when I realized what was happening so I'll just explain it.
Basically they have to go to a planet to mind rape C3PO because he has shit in his memory banks that they need. Oddly abusive (and ultimately pointless because they get the object they needed back again) but whatever. So Poe is wary about going to this planet because he's got a bad history with that place and he's been acting increasingly sketchy in this movie in terms of what he's able to do. So they go to this planet and what a surprise, he runs into people he has a bad history with. Lady he has a bid history with says something like "Wow I can't believe you came back after our bad history that was caused by you leaving us for the Resistance. You're a poo poo head." Then she notices Rey. "Hey you're wanted to by the First Order we're gonna turn you guys in." She attempts to apprehend Rey with her goons and gets her ass kicked by Rey with a stick because Rey. Then I shit you fucking not she looks up at Rey on the ground after getting her ass kicked and says something NEARLY EXACTLY LIKE "I like you guys now we're cool." She had an entire change of heart about these fucking people and warms up to them immensely after this moment. And entire fucking character arc in like 2 minutes just because the movie had no time to have her gradually warm to the Resistance's side. My mouth was open in shock the entire time the crew was on this planet. It was incredible.
JJ Abrams is terrible. He is literally unable to do anything original in these Star Wars movies, they largely rely on nostalgia from more original works. There are just elements in this that are blatantly taken from Return of the Jedi. Basically the entire throne room scene happens except instead of the parental love of Vader coming through the darkness and saving the day, Rey just kicks palpy's ass and kylo saves her after she dies with his own life. The Death Star 2 is present as is the original Throne Room, the Final Order is set up to feel like the Death Star 2 battle, Lando is here because Star Wars, Darth Vader's helmet is back because Star Wars, various dead Jedi have voice cameos because Star Wars, Palpatine is here because its a cheap way to explain why the First Order exists while also being VERY Star Wars. Various older lines from older Star Wars movies are repeated in not so new contexts because JJ thinks its clever and audience members with an IQ of 20 clap at KINO. It's boring, old, cheesy in a not enjoyable way, and stupid.
Carrie Fisher is dead. She died I believe a full year before TLJ came out. They had a full year to rework that movie and have her last scene be a chilling shot of her floating dead in space because of her son. Boom, an actually more effective death than Han's and a more personally touching one because of her actual death. But nope, they kept her involvement in the movie the same. And unlike Rogue One which some people criticized the inclusion of Grand Moff Tarkin and young Leia, Rise of Skywalker was marketed as using reused footage of Carrie Fisher! A truly respectful decision, not using a CGI stand in! This sounds great, but watching the movie you could clearly tell its reused fucking footage. Her acting is awkward, the dialogue is written around the things she recorded before so its awkward, it just doesn't look good, and they had a younger CGI Leia anyways so what was the fucking point? And in the end Kylo Ren is redeemed by Leia dying in the process of uh force telepathying him. Oh also Harrison Ford shows up for his paycheck so they can repeat his scene with Kylo from TFA except with a positive outcome. Cool way to ruin Kylo Ren, one of the only parts of the sequel trilogy I liked.
In response to Rey being a Mary Sue, JJ seemed to have done the only sensible thing aside from pretending that the little training scene they shoved in there made anything better. They made EVERYONE really powerful in the force. Kylo Ren is teleporting shit with the Force, Rey is healing lethal wounds with the force, Kylo is reviving Rey with the Force, they get into long-distance Force lightsaber battles with each destroyed object in the environment force teleporting shit to the other person, Palpatine disables an entire Resistance fleet including all fighters with Force lightning, Rey and Kylo play tug of war with a random transport until Rey has an autism attack and "accidentally" blows it up with force lightning despite thinking Chewie was on it, Rey just casually is deflecting blaster bolts with the force in a large battle. Ever play The Force Unleashed? The movie felt as over the top with the Force as that fucking game did sometimes. Sure nobody pulled down a Star Destroyer from orbit with the force or anything. But fuck if I didn't think someone was GOING to throughout the movie.
JJ also made Finn force sensitive because he wrote a couple of situations that couldn't have been solved without a force-sensitive person present. Bravo JJ, when in doubt IM ONE WITH DA FORCE DA FORCE IS WITH ME
Also Palpatine looks like shit and the lighting is just absolutely shit in some areas.
FUCK this movie. This isn't even all my complaints.
 
I think one of the worst things they did was end TFA with Rey finding Luke. They should have ended the movie with Rey leaving the resistance, then you could have made like half of TLJ be Rey having wacky hi-jinks on her way there.
They needed a scene with Luke so they can add his name to the list of actors appearing in the movie. Also, he had to appear in person at the end for maximum Memberberries.

Personally I would have just bit the bullet and made Kylo full on evil. Not this waffling emo bad boy stuff.

Unlike Anakin who embraced the dark side to save his family have Kylo just be a selfish power hungry egomaniac using the Force for his own benefit.

If any of you have ever seen Dragon Heart Kylo would essentially be Prince Ivan.
Might have worked.
Leia apparently was ousted from politics over her father being Darth Vader, Kylo Ren's motivation could be to retake his family's position of power due to his hurt pride.
Not a terribly good plot, but a good writer could work with it.

Just wanted to ask why the hell are people going all "Only nerds care about continuity and consistency and rules in a movie about space wizards" all of a sudden? These people don't realise they are saying it's okay to break the rules of previous continuity and invent shit on the fly and to not call it out. This is referring to of course the force healing ability in TROS that wasn't established in any of the other movies.
It's essentially a way of attacking the other person with an ad hominem when they raise a point that the SJW-shitheads can't counter.

Person A: "TLJ is a perfect movie without any flaws!"
Person B:" What about the Hyperspace Ramming?"
Person A: "What of it? It looked super cool!"
Person B: "Yeah, but it sort of raises the question: Why wasn't this done ever before?"
Person A: "Lol, stop overthinking things, you fucking dweeb! Also, you're a bigot if you hate this movie!"

It's a way to shut down the argument by ridiculing the very notion of a different opinion the moment the other person dares partaking in that discussion.
Bonuspoints if this "Person A" also felates the movie for being such an important and groundbreaking magnum opus that changes movie history - just to turn around and call it "a stupid children's movie about space wizards" when someone points out shortcomings or flaws.

It's outright schizophrenic. The movie is the most perfect piece of art ever and at the same time just a silly tale that you should not take seriously at all or else you're an idiot. So which one is it now? Ah right, it always depends on what "Person A" needs it to be at the moment, depending on what part of the argument you're at. How convenient.

It's pretty simple. You are not ENTITLED to my money if you deliver a fucking turd. That is just how things work.
Unfortunately, a shitton of people are dumb enough to pay for the privilege of being assaulted by this piece of shit movie... even in this thread.
Sorry, no hard feelings, but anyone who willingly paid himself to watch this garbage, despite knowing how aweful it is, is a lolcow.

The movie was insulting enough, I don't need to potato shaped chode who wrote the crapfest to start insulting me because I thought his garbage movie was garbage.
How any company can allow their employees to insult customers for being invested in their product and get away with it is beyond me.
Ruin Johnson outright called fans stupid for trying to figure out who Snoke is and just to show them, he made him a literal nobody out of spite.
I can't fathom how anyone at Disney is working and all I can think about is, that I want to work there. If all I have to do, is to participate in the "woke" song and dance and then even rampant, constant, regular displays of gross incompetence are considered irrelevant (with prospects of a golden parachute), you can't help but wonder if you shouldn't just join them and ride that sucker into the ground. Might as well do your bros a solid and leak whatever info you can get your hands on.

You know, I am starting to think that J.J saying "Ruin Johnson didn't actually ruin my plans, guys" was him lying as to not give him the satisfaction of shitting his ideas.
I guess that was part of their bullshit marketing, I guess: "Oh no, our trilogy wasn't buttfucked with a cactus by Johnson when he literally cut off all plot threads in TLJ! This is fine. Everything is fine. We always planned to make a trilogy that introduces the core villain in the last movie in the most asinine and passionless manner ever! Ruin didn't fuck up! We aren't scrambling to come up with some desperate attempt to tie this fucker up somehow! Remember, this was all exactly according to keikaku!"

So, in short, they attempted to make it look like they were in control and everything was running super smooth, while they had absolutely no idea how to deal with the fallout of TLJ, both in the narrative sense as well as the fan-backlash.
 
I wonder if Starkiller base was as well thought-out and designed by the time TFA came out.

I'm more concerned why the second death star had a hole so big you could fly a ship into it when a small hole was what killed the first one

Luke reacting in self-defense is one thing. Him pulling out a saber with the briefest notion of murder is something else entirely. It's not like you're nodding off on the freeway either, it's a very intentional act. Luke knew the vision was a vision, he didn't feel like Ben was about to kill him and everything he loved right that minute.

In the movies, he never found out why. Outside of them, it's plausible to think that Obi-Wan, Yoda, or even Anakin himself would tell him. 30 years is plenty of time to talk to them about everything that happened before the Battle of Yavin.

if you accept luke getting more knowledge between 6 and 7 (which we aren't shown) it's equally possible shit happened between 6 and 7 we aren't shown either or that that knowledge only affected him positively. it's also not shown why han and leia apparently never inquired why their son went awol or looked for luke sooner for that or other personal reasons.

we also don't know how hard he got hit by the vision. getting stunned and speechless happens to everyone, and that's not even caused by a jedi vision. you could even argue getting hit by all that shit in a split second will have it's own effect. didn't he say it clouded his judgement for a minute or something (can't remember exactly)?

I mean yeah it was set up poorly and only happened because ruin needed a cheap "hurr he wanted to kill me", but the follow-up was even more retarded, for both kylo and luke.
man, tlj was such a shit movie...
 
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I'm more concerned why the second death star had a hole so big you could fly a ship into it when a small hole was what killed the first one



if you accept luke getting more knowledge between 6 and 7 (which we aren't shown) it's equally possible shit happened between 6 and 7 we aren't shown either or that that knowledge only affected him positively. it's also not shown why han and leia apparently never inquired why their son went awol or looked for luke sooner for that or other personal reasons.

we also don't know how hard he got hit by the vision. getting stunned and speechless happens to everyone, and that's not even caused by a jedi vision. you could even argue getting hit by all that shit in a split second will have it's own effect. didn't he say it clouded his judgement for a minute or something (can't remember exactly)?

I mean yeah it was set up poorly and only happened because ruin needed a cheap "hurr he wanted to kill me", but the follow-up was even more exceptional, for both kylo and luke.
man, tlj was such a shit movie...
Dude.
Luke risked his fucking life and the future of the Rebellion on redeeming his father after learning that the genocidal, brutal, pitiless maniac, that sold his best friend to a fat slug crimeboss and cut off his hand, is his father. Said character withstood being tempted by the emperor, by casting away his sword and managed to redeem his father through his trust.

There is absolutely no way of turning that same hopeful, brave and pious person into a shithead, that would kill his nephew in his sleep, without it being a nonsensical farce only there for shock-value.

Is it possible that Luke becomes a shithead that does this? Yeah.
Will it make sense? No. It will be out of character for him, no matter what.
Luke said about Darth Vader, the aforementioned genocidal maniac with the bad temper, that he still feels light in him. And we are supposed to believe that this same person would just humor for a milisecond the intention of slicing through his own sleeping nephew, who hasn't yet done anything? No. Simply no.

And that's not even going into how this clashes with his character as an archetype within a narrative. To say it seriously changes his entire character for the worst is an understatement.

we also don't know how hard he got hit by the vision. getting stunned and speechless happens to everyone, and that's not even caused by a jedi vision. you could even argue getting hit by all that shit in a split second will have it's own effect. didn't he say it clouded his judgement for a minute or something (can't remember exactly)?
I could also argue that this is a monumentally inane way of making laughable excuses to defend the biggest character assassination in modern cinema by coming up with utterly nonsensical "what if" scenarios ad nauseum.
 
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So, I got gifted Battlefront 2(Celebration whatever), it's pretty damn good.

I played the game at launch and really didn't like it. It seems they streamlined and made big improvements for the past two years....

Kinda shocked to be honest
 
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Y'know, Sheev exploded when Vader threw him down that access shaft, and we were all but sure he was deader than Elvis. But y'know who didn't fucking explode? Mace Windu when he got lightning'd and push'd out of the window. We never saw his body, and the arm wound was cauterized, as all lightsaber wounds do.

I wanna say The Mouse won't bullshit Mace back into the picture as an old hermit, but the MCU is under them, so is techincally SLJ, and you know they'll do anything at this point...
 
I got around to signing up with a new VPN provider today so I guess I'll get drunk and watch the pirated Korean copy of the movie in the next couple of days here.
Here are all the links the thread has collected so far.
https://multiup.org/download/670104...lley.me_StWrs.2019.720p.HDCAM-GETB8.part1.rar
https://multiup.org/download/6e9a1c...lley.me_StWrs.2019.720p.HDCAM-GETB8.part2.rar
https://julay.world/sw/res/913.html
http://boards.4channel.org/wsg/thread/3200782
 
Also this thing was in IX.
View attachment 1066178

This thing looks like it came out of a cursed puzzle box and wants to drag you down to a terrifying dimension of eternal darkness and unceasing torture where you'll scream in horror and pain, forever.

I guess we'll never know why kids don't like Star Wars anymore.
 
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