Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[ZMOT]

There is and was simply no way at all to satisfyingly set up a new villain and to wrap up a trilogy post TLJ. The best you can hope for is the lofty hypes of Merely Bad.

why have big bad in the first place? or even a "new" one. hux and the first order were still there, even with him being made a laughing stock he could still be propped up enough to be an adversary, not an outright villain. the whole trilogy was all over the place in theme, narrative and tone anyway, might as well go with a fun but satisfying ending adventure movie instead of OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING AGAIN

I kind of agree, but Qui-Gon has to die fairly early on in order for Anakin's fall to the Dark Side to happen. After all, Qui-Gon is not just Lucas's most unambiguously positive portrayal of a Jedi Knight, he's also (as the guy who wrote the Plinkett rebuttal pointed out) an idealized father-figure: strong, courageous, confident and compassionate, always supportive of his adoptive sons, never offering criticism without constructive feedback to balance it. Obi-Wan's great failure is that he was not mature and confident enough to follow Qui-Gon's example of adhering to the "here and now" philosophy of the Living Force and responding contextually to events as they occurred. What we see instead with Obi-Wan throughout the Prequels is that he will almost always default back to the authority of the High Council/Yoda when needing to make a decision, rather than thinking for himself, and this was exactly the wrong approach to take with a special case like Anakin, and helped drive the wedge between them that would push Anakin more and more into the orbit of the only potential father-figure who was willing to give him the same consideration and attention (rather than boilerplate platitudes) as Qui-Gon had: Chancellor Palpatine.

yeah, that's why I was hesitant to make anakin too old when he would be found. having more qui-gon doesn't have to mean more anakin at the same time (even when the prequels were all about anakin's fall, imo it was stretched out way too long), but how much time did they even spend together? I don't know if qui-gon had such a big impact in the first place, back then my impression was more with him getting disillusioned and acting out of spite and rebel (being a stupid teen and all). it was a good setup for the "older brother" tho with obi suddenly having to take care of him.

EDIT:

If you can't do a fucking star trek movie right what makes you think that they ever will make good movies?

to be fair, to make a good star trek movie isn't easy, neither from the material nor the fan expectation.

 

[Creep3r]

They can't just let it die a natural death, they have to torment it and urinate on it before setting it on fire and laughing like the evil piece of shit Sith Lords they truly are.

Speaking of, since @TheMysteriousAHole is MIA, I'll try and find more stuff from IX's plothole filler book to post and see if it has anymore abominations as bad as bottlecap head.

 

[AverageAnimeWatcher]

why have big bad in the first place? or even a "new" one. hux and the first order were still there, even with him being made a laughing stock he could still be propped up enough to be an adversary, not an outright villain. the whole trilogy was all over the place in theme, narrative and tone anyway, might as well with a fun but satisfying ending adventure movie ending instead of OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING AGAIN

That's a good point, though I think people were suggesting new villains because, let's be real, none of those left were believable or threatening in the slightest.

Even if you are a fan of Kylo Ren, you have to admit he simply doesn't have the weight to be the main villain (And Rey could easily beat him with no training), and Hux was indeed a joke as you said.

Without a strong villain, a fun adventure was their best bet, but I'm thinking that would be a huge downgrade for Star Wars if it was just Rey sue and friends beating those hilarious villains that fall for phone pranks. Don't get me wrong, it would be fun for a Star Wars Rebels episode, but as the conclusion of a trilogy that's just bad.

 

[TadGhostal22]

As far as I know, the only thing he knows about SW are the OT, the Holiday Special, the Prequels and he claims he played KOTOR and claims Kylo Ren was based on Revan, even giving him the pointless title of "Scourge of Malachor" despite that in Disney shit, Malachor is even deader than it was in KOTOR and all Kylo Ren did was go there to find some stupid item that didn't even exist, then left with nothing because there was nothing to do there. How do you become a scourge of a dead planet with zero inhabitants that hardly anyone knows about?

JJ doesn't even have a decent grasp of world building. His entire lore for TFA was just repeats and references from the OT. So much so that the Disney Wars films feel like a self-aware parody of the franchise that is aware its just a fictional film franchise but doesn't outright state it while failing to convey the feeling of being a lived-in world with a sense of coherency and escapism. And JJ does this despite being a given a pretty creative basis and rough draft by George and Arndt. But then again I have to wonder how much of that was JJ's fault. The man sucks at concluding plots and development, but the choice to make everything a safe as fuck and a hollow remake feels like something Kennedy and especially Iger would do, with Iger even admitting that he wanted this shit to be safe as possible while also making sure that everything felt "new" and have original names that would make it easy to trademark and trick people unfamiliar with the franchise into thinking that they were being original (which worked for the most part since half of the people who really loved Disney Wars never even saw or even liked the OT, while the other half are OT purists who cream their pants over the slightest OT reference), which resulted in things like Galaxy's Edge being completely original but filled to the brim with knockoff versions of pre-existing things, and also like having Jakku instead of Tatooine (despite that early drafts suggested that Jakku would just be a junkyard district on Tatooine) and having a lot of donut steal versions of old factions, aliens, ships and planets.


You got a lot of nerve showing your noseless face around here Space Ghost.
View attachment 1067501
Also, people keep saying this but I didn't see any teabagging. Holdo is now a legendary figure with a maneuver named after her and they use the same stupid maneuver at the end of the film (which shows it isn't even a 1 in a million thing and can be abused as much as they want, effectively rendering space battles meaningless), Luke is still dead and died like a bitch, Porgs still exist, if only briefly and are replaced with something way uglier, Rey is more of a sue than ever, Reylo happens which TLJ really kicked off, Snoke is less than nothing now and just gets a cheap throwaway explanation.

The only thing that I would like better is if that worthless Mary Sue had Luke's green lightsaber, Leias blue one, Darth Vaders red one, Anakins blue one was with Ben. Obi wans lightsaber could have come in from the fucking moon for all I care.

I had Luke look face first into the camera and say "I was completely wrong in that movie and it's almost like I wasn't myself."

It was impossible for the guy who threw away his lightsaber and accept death in case he was wrong about his father to lay a fucking hand on Leia Organa's son. I will never accept that as something that happens. I never have to think about the last jedi again. I am finally at peace and Star Wars has absolutely nowhere else to go. It's bankrupt. It's done. I am happy.


And Zorak " A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, a shark on beer is a beer engineer"

 

[Creep3r]

And Zorak " A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, a shark on beer is a beer engineer"

Oh yeah? Well MERRY CHRISTMAS!

That's gonna carry all the way to the village.

 

[verissimus]

I try to inject a modicum of fact and temperance, to ensure everyone gets their due rewards for this fuckheap.

Screw that. Let's just burn the sob to the ground.

 

[GenericReviewerDraco]

You think this is all some 4D chess game by George Lucas to tank the reputation of Star Wars as fast as possible so he can swoop in, buy his studio back from a regretful Disney, and instantly be regaled as the God-Visionary he always was by his prodigal fanbase?

Only if he has a tard wrangler. Lucas and Kojima are people with good ideas but they need wranglers to keep them from making something stupid.

Why, misogynistic incel GamerGators, of course. Maybe Russian bots too.

It could be me being way too optimistic, but wouldn't their fellow soy shitting on this trainwreck get outraged by this and just cause a bigger schism? I know the left eats their own, but it seems too soon for a "mass lefties eating their own" on a scale higher than trying to table top games woke backfiring.

 

[Sable]

I...caught up! WOOHOO! UNLIMITED POOOOW- you know what, enough of that.

 

[Creep3r]

Jeremy from Geeks + Gamers came up with a rather too tinfoil hat explanation for why it's at 86% (TL;DW: It's 86% because TFA was 86%, and parents are going to make that subliminal connection when deciding whether or not to see it).

Rotten Tomatoes Fixing Scores For The Rise of Skywalker?

#TheRiseofSkywalker #RottenTomatoes #Disney

www.youtube.com

Still, there's definitely something screwy going on. Why is it that RT has 86% when all the other sites are showing parallels between the critic and audience scores?

QuarterPounder among other regular Fandom Menace people have also released their own explanations although all of them differ in various ways, but at the very least QuarterPounder's starts with a video edit that fits with the RT drama.

What I would really like to know though is which of these many tinfoil theory videos that have come out so far come close to sounding the most believable and consistent with what we actually know? Which video feels like something that can actually be shared without people instantly dismissing it as tinfoil nonsense?

 

[ZMOT]

Without a strong villain, a fun adventure was their best bet, but I'm thinking that would be a huge downgrade for Star Wars if it was just Rey sue and friends beating those hilarious villains that fall for phone pranks. Don't get me wrong, it would be fun for a Star Wars Rebels episode, but as the conclusion of a trilogy that's just bad.

that's why I suggested a while back to make it a race. hux would at least able to do that. heck a good writer could even ape fifth element where the villain never meets the hero.
there wasn't really a star wars movie where the bad guys outright won. the resistance (hesitant to call less than 30 people a "resistance") dealing and coming to terms with it could be an interesting premise instead of yet another NEW WORLD ENDING SUPERWEAPON BUT BIGGER. trying to make a good conclusion to the whole trilogy after riun johnson got full creative control was a stupid idea from the start anyway.

do a timeskip, have everyone go into hiding and/or settle down, so you can easily inject some backstory and character without spending half the movie on it. poe goes smuggling to make him the han replacement he was supposed to be from the start. maybe make him fuck up and become a disillusioned drunk when one of his antics didn't work out (would be too much with the rey route tho).
make finn have a kid he didn't walk out of (the woke clickbait about black rolemodels basically writes itself), that should ground his comedic sidekick shtick.
have ren embrace her sueness to the point it gets leia killed (taking her down a few pegs and don't have to drag carrie fishers digital corpse around). heck you could even use it to have her fuck off like luke but give her a way out, to show that pissbaby johnson how to write that kind of redemption arc. as cherry on top have luke teach her as a ghost to lure her back.
edit: LIMIT IT TO THOSE CHARACTERS AND NOT LITERALLY BRING IN NEW ONES HOLY SHIT

show kylo getting bored since running an evil empire day to day is completely different than chasing your old teacher (you really wanted to kill for some reason), chasing down sith stuff or slowly go off the deep end having an identity crisis etc. this would give hux an in trying to usurp, show him being actually somewhat competent evil which leads to galactic unrest (so there is a reason you suddenly see star destroyers falling from the sky).

with that have kylo find an old sith superweapon and the disney bunch has to get together to destroy it, stop kylo from finding it, have kylo grow a bit of conscience not wanting hux to have it, maybe with the help of the disney bunch etc. while it would still be a superweapon it needs to be a big enough mcguffin to give everyone a reason to chase it.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Someone needs to explain to me why weird cyborgs without heads are somehow supposed to appeal to the gay community.

Merely because they're gay and that's good enough for the people who don't consume anything but claim they do and shriek at those who highlight how bad it is.

It may work for the newer gay SW fans that consume anything with the iconic SW logo on it. But for those fans in the target audience that either don't follow Disney's non-film content or have chosen not to view any or all of the ST, characters such as Dr. Aphra, Soggy Boggy Toilet Man, and Captain Coffeepot are "literally, who?" to them. Worse for Disney, such fans that are told about these characters and their traits/appearances tend to be turned off by them. Imagine that; Disney's efforts to appeal to gay fans actually fails -- and sometimes backfires -- with those that are/were Lucas-era fans before Disney decided SW needed to become more woke.

For all the time and resources that went towards pandering to fans that aren't persuaded by these characters, Disney could have instead used those resources to make the movies better than they were and perhaps even taken the time to come up with any sort of plot/story line that was lacking in this trilogy. This ties into the next point:

JJ doesn't even have a decent grasp of world building. His entire lore for TFA was just repeats and references from the OT.

For both Episodes 7 and 8, I felt the world building was minimal at best to nonexistent. New planets felt like little more than retreads of existing planets with nothing particular new or noteworthy introduced to fans -- Miss Fishbowlhead from Canto Bight notwithstanding. @GeneralFriendliness (and anyone else commenting on the topic) discussed in detail how any "new" ST/Disney-era aliens are little more than existing species given a minor cosmetic change and then passed off as something original.

Yes, an established franchise such as SW doesn't need to reinvent the wheel for subsequent stories and content, but one doesn't expect writers to be so lazy in recycling so much existing content that they appear as if they're introducing as little new content as possible.

 

[CumDumpster]

could be a scene-rip just re-encoded with the watermark. you see that a lot with certain asian rips, usually from china (and most of them being casinos and other shit)

Most of these gambling sites just pay scene folks for rips to slap ads all over then make their own "release".
1xBet was notorious for that in the "CAM" scene prior to being banned from 1337x and people catching on to 1xBet's game, but 1xBet was a harmless website compared to GetB8. And it's not that it's preying upon problem gamblers either...

Spoiler: Take this scenario...

You watch a pirated CAM released by GetB8.
There's malware in the video file's tracks (whether that be audio, video, or subtitle) that puts a piece of malware onto the platform you were using when the "movie" was accessed.
A few hijacking attempts were reported, but the main M.O. for this attack is to make a botnet that reports data back to the creator.
Then the few hijacks generate access requests for several websites in the background.
Those "access requests" make an account is made in your name on the website advertised and your bank's funds are promptly drained whilst on vacation while you become a well-respected gambler on that website at the same time.
There's difficulty in asking for the charges to be reversed since the IP logs show that you gambled your money away, despite being on vacation doing some sort of business.
And if you confessed to accessing a pirate stream, then you risk getting busted for "copyright infringement", as it were.

These kind of cases can be "small potatoes", but the fact that this kind of malware came up as GetB8 was becoming popular in the camming scene is quite suspect...

There's more security in waiting for a WEB rip or Blu-Ray than going with a CAM like an impatient pleb.
Not to mention all the people that have been ripping from Disney+ recently.

 

[GenericReviewerDraco]

Harry Potter. The sequel, Harry Potter: Unchained, has Jared Leto playing Voldemort's son and Harry's son fights him in a kung fu song.

That sounds at least like a Super Mario Bros 1993 tier cult ironic movie, so I'd be game.

 

[ZMOT]

Take this scenario...

how tho? that's several vectors of attack and access of information that could possibly only work on mac and it's users.

 

[CumDumpster]

how tho? that's several vectors of attack and access of information that could possibly only work on mac and it's users.

Oh, really?

 

[ZMOT]

Oh, really?

yes, really. you would need a player where it works and has a broad install base (don't even know wtf popcorntime is, doubt a normie does), the windows version where it works, the internet setup where it works.
let's say it does it still needs access to the information of not only your name and full address but also full bank details. even if you run a keylogger that's not necessarily information people put into their machine every day or have stored in a place you can easily find without raising suspicion.
and even if they do and the keylogger is not found by a simple windows defender update (as shitty as it is most people don't disable it and it gets updates in the background), you'd still need to circumvent the bank's security being able to access the funds (be it withdrawal limits, international withdrawals etc) in several different countries. and after all that hope that people are ok with having their account drained instead of admitting to watching a shitty camrip (which might even be legal in their country)

not saying it couldn't work, but you have to wonder how much money you could possibly scam that way.

 

[verissimus]

QuarterPounder among other regular Fandom Menace people have also released their own explanations although all of them differ in various ways, but at the very least QuarterPounder's starts with a video edit that fits with the RT drama.

What I would really like to know though is which of these many tinfoil theory videos that have come out so far come close to sounding the most believable and consistent with what we actually know? Which video feels like something that can actually be shared without people instantly dismissing it as tinfoil nonsense?

I personally subscribe to a simple idea someone mentioned awhile back. The people that went and paid to see it wanted to see it and liked it, or put another way while everyone else stayed at home, didn't bother leaving a review, or pirated it. In other words, the results would be similar to asking democrats whether they're in favor of impeachment vs everyone else.

 

[GenericReviewerDraco]

Speakin of lovecraft.........ya wanna know who just got signed on to adapt his shit for screen?

There. Is. No. Escape...

Lovecraft movies made by hacks is at least "Lovecraftian" and some form of "eldritch horror".

 

[AnOminous]

I personally subscribe to a simple idea someone mentioned awhile back. The people that went and paid to see it wanted to see it and liked it, or put another way while everyone else stayed at home, didn't bother leaving a review, or pirated it. In other words, the results would be similar to asking democrats whether they're in favor of impeachment vs everyone else.

But just the ones on RottenTomatoes, while all the other sites have the audience reaction pretty much at the same level as the critics?

Lovecraft movies made by hacks is at least "Lovecraftian" and some form of "eldritch horror".

I hope they get Sutter Caned.

 

[Trombonista]

My dad, sister, and brother all went to see TROS today. My dad and sister thought it was okay (not great, but okay), but my brother found it to be so bad that he sneaked into the theater showing Cats for 30 seconds.