A Spanish guy tells his friend about the climactic scene from Disney's new dumpster fire, "The Rise of Skywalker". #StarWars #EpisodeIX #TheRiseofSkywalker #...
A Spanish guy tells his friend about the climactic scene from Disney's new dumpster fire, "The Rise of Skywalker". #StarWars #EpisodeIX #TheRiseofSkywalker #...
Ah shoot. I could have sworn mentioning along time ago I was waiting for this "meme reaction" to this movie (or it could have been for season 8 of GoT).
Its called a Zyklonian Cyclorrians. Its essentially a fly crossed with a goblin who has to wear a scent mask for no reason. According to the book these things exist as a hivemind and entire swarms are part of the Resistance now... I guess that's where they got all those last minute reinforcements from nowhere...? Which is never stated in the actual movie...
Feels like another missed opportunity at reviving other fly-based species.
Then again, Disney genocided some of these into extinction, except Watto's species. And I say this despite my own indifference/disgust to fly-based species (mantis aliens all the way). Also people used to defend the lack of familiar aliens in Disney's films because "they take place in a part of the galaxy we've never been to before and its years in the future", despite that first off it takes place in the same areas of the galaxy as before, with Canto Bight practically neighboring Tatooine, and secondly entire species don't just up and disappear like outdated droids. Familiar droids and ships no longer being common 30 years later makes sense but entire species, especially ones that previous movies have shown to be almost or just as numerous as humans don't just up and disappear. The DisneyEU tries to claim shit like genocides happening and whatnot, but we know that wasn't the case with the movie's production, they just wanted shit made from scratch because the higher ups are made up of idiots who only care about audience reception, marketability and easy trademarks.
I had a very interesting discussion with an old friend of mine, a religious scholar, and she had a very interesting take on the ST. Her belief was one very different than proposals I've heard here as to why the ST was made the way it was, but there's parts of her theory that jumped out at me as chillingly accurate - so much so that I had to bring it up here.
At the core, her argument was that while Star Wars itself is for the most part non-secular, it teaches valuable lessons that are timeless, and, much like the Three Virtues in Ultima, can easily be used as the basis for a sense of morality - a good one - that goes beyond the movie itself. That's what makes these movies so enduring: the stories they cover and the underlying themes in them are so good. Every single major character in the OT (and even the PT) that has a coherent character arc also teaches lessons to the viewer in the process as part of the storytelling. By any accounting, there's absolutely nothing objectionable in any of this.
....Unless you're a progressive utopian trying to usher in the glorious superior future, that is.
Many of the re-occurring themes in Star Wars are very straightforward: Don't take the easy way, because you'll suffer for it. Hard work and perseverance will carry you farther than you'd ever think. You can help people become better than they were just by being their friend and rubbing off on them. It's important to be brave. If you lose yourself in anger or fear, you'll lose sight of what's important. You can become more than what you were before, if you will yourself to it. Even the brightest prodigy may have a dark spot they are not proud of, and even most despicable person may be redeemable. Sometimes a little hope can go a long way.
Now note how these are directly the opposite of Progressive orthodoxy: The easy way is good. Hard work is for suckers. Fuck everyone else, you're the important one. You should be angry and afraid all the time, of everything, and ready to go completely off the chain based upon that anger and fear. You have no meaningful agency in your own life, so give up and revel in helplessness. Anyone guilty of original sin is forevermore guilty and irredeemably evil, except for those at the top of the progressive stack, who can do no wrong. We are all fucked if you don't do exactly what we want.
Her argument is thus that the ST was specifically intended to undermine and destroy Star Wars entirely because these simple values pose an existential threat to the Progressive world-view, which is already on the decline. It certainly explains their hatred of the fandom. If they'd just made terrible movies, but didn't do what they did in The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, they'd just be one more piece of shitty Star Wars content in an ongoing landfill, ignored by the fandom entirely. The franchise endured worse in the past. That's not what they did. They went out of their way to unmake the previous movies. To destroy the messages and characters of old. You can't have someone who essentially became a hero from nothing and accomplished things on his own merits in current year, especially when the hero that accomplished this was a white male. Ergo, they turn one of the most optimistic, idealistic, beloved characters in a generation into a grumpy, vicious, murderous old hobo and without any payoff, and then gave him a meaningless death.
Kathleen Kennedy has made zero bones about her fucking hatred of the original fandom, as well as her progressive bonafides on Social Media, and if there's anything more autistic than the House of Mouse, it's the progressives and the entire pathological need for vindication. While I don't know if I fully buy it, this theory does, if truthful, makes a great deal of sense.
Oh no, trust me, your friend is right on the money. Hollywood knows the power of propaganda and trust me, we are beyond the day where it was as subtle as Daffy Duck hitting Hitler with a hammer. Today is far less obvious and slower. There is a reason you always see these dramas about black families trying to free their dindu nuffin son (always a son) after getting obviously false accused by the evil whites.
Look at Watchmen HBO. A brand all about moral ambiguity, how the lines of good and evil begin to blurr after a while...turned into a show about a black wahman vigilanty delievering brutal """justice""" on cartoonishly white supremacists using Rorschach's journal (with the guy aparently being a "white supremacist" icon all along...?...even tho in Doomsday Clock, the new Rorschach is black...).
Its all their plan, they know people rarely leave their screens nowdays, we are always eating up information. All they need to do is to decide what information you are allowed to eat and therebefore shaping who you are.
They WANT you to be afraid and filled with hatred over the other. They WANT you to see them as black and white gestapo bad guys. They WANT you to be weak.
All of our icons are being bastardized for a reason, it is to destroy our morale and replace it with a new (and "improved") one, shaped by them and not talented honest creative men. Hollywood HATES you and they want you to know it.
As I said, this is slower but far more effective...the true cold war never ended, its still going, except the commies aint in Soviet Russia anymore, they are among us, controlling what we consume and idolize.
The earlier you realize that we are still at war, but now on a cultural level (and if we dont win, it wont remain that way), we need to reject those narratives and fight back. Mock them, because you cant kill an idea (good or bad) but you can mock it, make it a joke and thats how you kill it...
I can't believe it took me this long to finally catch-up, well, if anything good came out all of this trashfire, is that reading this thread finally made me start watching The Mandalorian, i didn't expect to enjoy the series this much and i hope they don't fuck this up, i want The Mandalorian to succeed and maybe, just maybe, this game game will finally have a sequel
I had a very interesting discussion with an old friend of mine, a religious scholar, and she had a very interesting take on the ST. Her belief was one very different than proposals I've heard here as to why the ST was made the way it was, but there's parts of her theory that jumped out at me as chillingly accurate - so much so that I had to bring it up here.
At the core, her argument was that while Star Wars itself is for the most part non-secular, it teaches valuable lessons that are timeless, and, much like the Three Virtues in Ultima, can easily be used as the basis for a sense of morality - a good one - that goes beyond the movie itself. That's what makes these movies so enduring: the stories they cover and the underlying themes in them are so good. Every single major character in the OT (and even the PT) that has a coherent character arc also teaches lessons to the viewer in the process as part of the storytelling. By any accounting, there's absolutely nothing objectionable in any of this.
....Unless you're a progressive utopian trying to usher in the glorious superior future, that is.
Many of the re-occurring themes in Star Wars are very straightforward: Don't take the easy way, because you'll suffer for it. Hard work and perseverance will carry you farther than you'd ever think. You can help people become better than they were just by being their friend and rubbing off on them. It's important to be brave. If you lose yourself in anger or fear, you'll lose sight of what's important. You can become more than what you were before, if you will yourself to it. Even the brightest prodigy may have a dark spot they are not proud of, and even most despicable person may be redeemable. Sometimes a little hope can go a long way.
Now note how these are directly the opposite of Progressive orthodoxy: The easy way is good. Hard work is for suckers. Fuck everyone else, you're the important one. You should be angry and afraid all the time, of everything, and ready to go completely off the chain based upon that anger and fear. You have no meaningful agency in your own life, so give up and revel in helplessness. Anyone guilty of original sin is forevermore guilty and irredeemably evil, except for those at the top of the progressive stack, who can do no wrong. We are all fucked if you don't do exactly what we want.
Her argument is thus that the ST was specifically intended to undermine and destroy Star Wars entirely because these simple values pose an existential threat to the Progressive world-view, which is already on the decline. It certainly explains their hatred of the fandom. If they'd just made terrible movies, but didn't do what they did in The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, they'd just be one more piece of shitty Star Wars content in an ongoing landfill, ignored by the fandom entirely. The franchise endured worse in the past. That's not what they did. They went out of their way to unmake the previous movies. To destroy the messages and characters of old. You can't have someone who essentially became a hero from nothing and accomplished things on his own merits in current year, especially when the hero that accomplished this was a white male. Ergo, they turn one of the most optimistic, idealistic, beloved characters in a generation into a grumpy, vicious, murderous old hobo and without any payoff, and then gave him a meaningless death.
Kathleen Kennedy has made zero bones about her fucking hatred of the original fandom, as well as her progressive bonafides on Social Media, and if there's anything more autistic than the House of Mouse, it's the progressives and the entire pathological need for vindication. While I don't know if I fully buy it, this theory does, if truthful, makes a great deal of sense.
Ruining Luke is what it all comes down to for me, that's just so unbelievably shitty the way they treated his character, that's my biggest bone to pick, even beyond Rey being a Mary Sue.
Because what would have been so bad about having your Mary Sue character team up and kick some ass with a beloved older character? I thought that was part of the appeal of a Mary Sue character was vicariously spending time with characters you love, not shitting on them?
So yeah, fuck the sequel trilogy, it never happened.
I can at best acknowledge some Disney stuff that happens before the sequel trilogy that may be decent, like Rogue One, Fallen Order or The Mandalorian, but that stuff is still also a grey area for what is "canon" for me, the "real" Star Wars will always only be what happened under Lucas.
I can't believe it took me this long to finally catch-up, well, if anything good came out all of this trashfire, is that reading this thread finally made me start watching The Mandalorian, i didn't expect to enjoy the series this much and i hope they don't fuck this up, i want The Mandalorian to succeed and maybe, just maybe, this game game will finally have a sequel
EA: Well after the obvious critical and finantial failure of Fallen Order, I mean, no one liked it over Battlefront, lets face it, we arent interested in doing a single player bounty hunter game...however, we ARE interested in making a live service of a multiplayer open world where you DO play as a bounty hunter! Best of all! You can buy your armor pieces with premium currency you can get in game after playing 20 missions for one piece!...or you can just pay a tiny little bit of cash, around, I dont know, 5 bucks...and you get Boba Fett's Leg armor! And with 20 bucks you can get the whole set! Thats an excellent idea! Thanks for the money, dummies. Buy EA!...You have no choice in the matter...
EA: Well after the obvious critical and finantial failure of Fallen Order, I mean, no one liked it over Battlefront, lets face it, we arent interested in doing a single player bounty hunter game...however, we ARE interested in making a live service of a multiplayer open world where you DO play as a bounty hunter! Best of all! You can buy your armor pieces with premium currency you can get in game after playing 20 missions for one piece!...or you can just pay a tiny little bit of cash, around, I dont know, 5 bucks...and you get Boba Fett's Leg armor! And with 20 bucks you can get the whole set! Thats an excellent idea! Thanks for the money, dummies. Buy EA!...You have no choice in the matter...
But to sum it up, there's several designers but Jake Lunt Davies designs the majority of new creatures, droids and vehicles and he seems to prefer his own abominations over the pre-Disney ones, however he has shown to be actually capable of making good alien designs or ones that actually are and look like the originals instead of donut steals, but according to Davies, many of his better designs are rejected by the higher ups and he has to convert old aliens to look uglier or like donut steals. He also made a pretty good drawing of a female Rodian, but the concept was rejected and replaced with an uglier androgynous Rodian who just looks like an orange Greedo supposedly because it would be recognizable to audiences.
So in short, Davies makes some pretty terrible designs and can be full of it at times, but the awful designs only happen because the higher ups want awful and ugly aliens or donut steals despite that he can actually make good non-gross designs.
I could legit see this get used in say... a spy movie during the OT or maybe kind of like what I did in my TLJ napkin script. In the former, you could have say... Bothans do a high risk scam to try and get money for the Rebellion and they have to deal with security or something. In the latter, I had the crewmen and sailors of the fleet go down to the planet (which was scummier because of its industrial past) to let off steam after a Midway style defeat and flight.
But it really does seem that the Story Group and Kennedy hate good things.
EA: Well after the obvious critical and finantial failure of Fallen Order, I mean, no one liked it over Battlefront, lets face it, we arent interested in doing a single player bounty hunter game...however, we ARE interested in making a live service of a multiplayer open world where you DO play as a bounty hunter! Best of all! You can buy your armor pieces with premium currency you can get in game after playing 20 missions for one piece!...or you can just pay a tiny little bit of cash, around, I dont know, 5 bucks...and you get Boba Fett's Leg armor! And with 20 bucks you can get the whole set! Thats an excellent idea! Thanks for the money, dummies. Buy EA!...You have no choice in the matter...
Yeah I do; fucking leave the store and laugh at you since you're only propped up by retards from Europe and the Americas who paypig their way into hundreds of dollars per shit sports game.
#RoseTicoDeservedBetter is now trending a bit on shill Twitter with about 2700 retweets and rising... View attachment 1068062
Looks like Klaud-sama needs to crash this party. Seriously though, Rose/Kelly being reduced to just a background filler for this film is going to piss off even the woke side of Disney's fanbase. I hope more shit continues to hit the fan.
I went into this thing being grateful that Tico was sidelined, and then, as I watched the movie, I wished they’d killed the dumbass off. A blaster to the head for treason after her bullshit in the Last Jedi would have been perfect. It’s kind of hilarious how the sequel trilogies create impossible odds for the heroes, but then treat a critical battle as a fart in the wind where it doesn’t matter when a useless crybaby character fucks the whole thing up.
In Rise of Skywalker, her scene with Greg Grunberg perfectly encapsulated everything I hate about that character. *General* Organa has been through hell her entire life. She watched her homeworld obliterated when she was only 18, ffs, but, sure, yell at an actual soldier for not delivering bad news nicely enough in the middle of a fucking war. The only way that scene could be redeemed for me is if it turned out Abrams wrote it specifically to shit on Tico.
I agree, a lot of people shit on Rose Tico and the actress, but my sympathies are 100% with her. Darth Ruin and Jar Jar Abrams destroyed her before she could even get off the ground. I'm thinking this was intentional as some kind of sick joke on her, and the potential fanbase? Maybe they just roped her in to get the fat sweaty greasy nerds with yellow fever to watch this movie.
They chose the wrong kind of Asian. To cater to weeaboos, they needed a thin, delicate China rose (or Japanese or Korean) actress who’s Hollywood beautiful. Who they chose was a chubby Vietnamese woman who’s, most charitably, the hottest girl at Wal-Mart (while the potato sack and shitty haircut didn’t help, Tran is very average for Hollywood, even when dolled up).
Consider how lackluster all of John Williams' pieces for the recent movies have been. He's phoning it in and we can tell. I don't think he cares about the music anymore because he's done and redone the shit so many times that certainly the spark must be gone.
I thought his score for the Force Awakens was excellent, especially the leitmotif for Rey. I can’t remember what the score was like for Last Jedi, but Rise of Skywalker was noticeably terrible. I can’t blame him for running out of steam.
Okay, finally watched this fuckfest for myself last night. I'm going to be skipping around to parts that stood out to me, but I'll start where it matters: Klaud
Not even memeing here. This ridiculous fuckernaut is the best part of the movie. He's goofy and larger-than-life. He has no style, he makes no sense: This kong's face is immense all he does is hunch over a sparking electrical panel, making me think he's somehow soldering wires with his bulbous alien gaze.
Despite being an ugly Sequel abomination, he feels like he should've been in the background of one of the Prequels. He's like Jar Jar levels of hilarious, but without enough screen-time to be annoying or retch-inducing. What a cinematic achievement. Bravo JJ.
So anyways, the first part of this movie with Finn & Poe is filled with whiplash. The light-springing sequence is something you would build up to and then use either in the middle or the end, not the first 10 minutes. The whole scene itself lasts less than 4 minutes. That's waaaay too short. It's a sequence that could've worked, cinematically speaking. I liked seeing different worlds in quick succession, but not only did they come and go too quickly, I couldn't suspend my disbelief. No way the Falcon could have just sped through meters of solid ice without crumpling, and there's no way the TIE Fighters could have been so hot on their trail with each light-speed jump. The scene should have taken at least 10 minutes, with the Kylo scene at the beginning taking place either right after it or just taken out of the movie because it's rhetarded.
The chemistry between Foe, Pinn & Ghey is abrupt. Their first scene together seemed to only be their to emotionally validate Rey as being the best at everything. This is the same shit Ya Boi Zack points out about most Marvel comics today, even the "all women are friends" trope between Rey and Leia. They're supposed to be master and apprentice, but both the notion and its execution are laughable. Rey doesn't need or benefit from any training, and Leia should not have been in this movie. This is not her "final performance"; most of the credit goes to the fix-it-in-post crew.
I have no idea why Kijimi is in this film. It looks like something out of JJ Abrams' Overlord: a WW2-era town occupied by Nazis. I could say the same for the Knights of Ren, except they're more like they're from Medieval times. Two very dissonant elements in what is supposed to be a Star Wars movie.
I love this shit. The movie's pretending like Zorri is in any danger. Just pull the trigger and you win. She's got it pointed right at her heart. Rey can't heal herself, especially not after she's dead.
Ironic.
Babu Frick can babu fuck off back to Men in Black. D-O on the other hand I liked. He's redundant to BB8, but his timid English-speaking stutter is cute. I imagine it's something that would get old fast, unlike the usual Star Wars droid noises.
The sequence aboard Kylo Ren's Star Destroyer is probably one of the strongest in the movie. You finally have Finn, Rey and Poe on a mission together. The mind trick was played for a gag at first, but the way she used it to their advantage was smart. That scene where Rey jumps off the hangar bay and into the Falcon looked really nonsensical out of context, but in-context it makes more sense because they're not in space. They're in the sky somewhere within-atmo. Finn is wearing the same breathing mask used in Empire as a precaution though, and I think the heat coming from the Falcon's engines should've probably burned Kylo Ren's face a bit.
I kinda liked that JJ decided to put off Finn's Force sensitivity until sometime after TFA, so as to make him not too much like Luke, but then that and his entire character got torpedoed by Rey and then by Rian Johnson's Episode VIII. It's used as nothing more than a cheap shortcut in later scenes, and it sets up nothing but most likely shitty non-movie followups in the DisnEU. At the very least, since he was already throwing everything and the kitchen sink into this movie, he could've given Finn a single moment of Force Push or Pull at the right moment. Like it would've been exciting had he gotten involved in the fight at the end with Palpatine a la Han Solo at the end of ANH, but then he couldn't have shoved in the waste of a Reylo moment at the end.
So here we are back at the big lightsaber fight of the movie:
Remember that early rumor that TRoS was going to have the biggest, longest, most epic lightsaber fight in the entire 9-movie saga?
Please laugh.
The only cool movie in this fight is them holding the other's saber in place mid-swing. Way to outdo George's amateur-hour shit in RotS, JJ:
I don't care if parts of this fight were cut out. The little lightsaber play we did get is more of the same unimpressive baseball swings and ballet twirls we've seen in the last two movies.
This isn't the longest, most epic lightsaber battle ever. It's the slowest.
Ben's "Dad ..." moment was nice, but isn't as well-earned as the moments between Luke and Anakin in RotJ. Darth Vader was supposed to be one of the most evil baddies in the galaxy, but I dunno. I don't really care where Kylo is on that scale, but his redemption doesn't feel half as earned or cathartic by the end of the movie; neither does the Reylo romance. Don't get me wrong, though, I liked seeing him as a good guy for a change, especially since he suddenly grew a sense of humor:
But I've gotten ahead of myself.
Why does Luke still look like the fucking Hobo King of Ahch-Choo? Goddamnit, Mark. I was expecting to see you with a haircut and clean-shaven. I don't know why I expected anything good for Luke Skywalker in this film, but fuck it. What did you shave for in the first place?
Nobody can stand up to The Claw
Everyone's faces just say, "Where'd this manlet come from?"
*Yells in Korean*
The rest of the movie's dumb. What am I going to tell you?
As I rewatched these bits and pieces of the camrip with the Battle of Yavin playing in my ear, I thought back to E;R's statement in his Farce Engorges review: "This Farce will never be Star Wars." He's absolutely right. You can put all the callbacks, membaberries and leitmotifs you want in these movies; but unless you have the heart and soul of Star Wars in them, they will always be empty homunculi.
What amounts to a post-credits scene is how the movie-and the "Skywalker Saga"--ends. This scene finally brings the Rey character back full-circle to what she was always intended to be: a vessel. She is at the other end of the portal from Being John Malkovich, and the portal is the Sequel Trilogy. Rey's purpose--or at least part of it--was to allow the audience to feel like they're in a Star Wars movie, exploring all of their fond memories from earlier movies: Tatooine, the Falcon, the old cast, the Death Star, Anakin's lightsaber, etc. At the same time, Rey is meant to be a vessel for a new audience, specifically young girls, inviting them to be the new demographic that replaces the old one. Ya Boi Zack realized this about Rey very early on in this video:
I think this is partly why we don't get Luke, Han or Leia at their best, and why we don't see Luke with his green lightsaber. As an older generation, you're only along for the ride so you can pay for gas. It's not about you or for you. We're taking what you love and giving it to a new audience that probably will never love it like you did.
In isolation, I liked how this scene made me feel. It did for me what TFA couldn't: appealed to my nostalgia. Where TFA felt like a cheap copy-paste knockoff, this achieved the goal of inserting me into the Lars' homestead via Rey.
I'm just curious how much they had to pay Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher's family to have them re-star in this horrid movie. That includes the other actors for their "jedi past" vocal cameo roles, albeit to a far lesser extent. Ford especially must have had to have the big guns pulled out to get him back for this. 50Mil at a minimum, I would think.
Okay, finally watched this fuckfest for myself last night. I'm going to be skipping around to parts that stood out to me, but I'll start where it matters: Klaud
Not even memeing here. This ridiculous fuckernaut is the best part of the movie. He's goofy and larger-than-life. He has no style, he makes no sense: This kong's face is immense all he does is hunch over a sparking electrical panel, making me think he's somehow soldering wires with his bulbous alien gaze.
Despite being an ugly Sequel abomination, he feels like he should've been in the background of one of the Prequels. He's like Jar Jar levels of hilarious, but without enough screen-time or significance to be annoying or retch-inducing. Like, man. What a cinematic achievement. Bravo JJ.
So anyways, the first part of this movie with Finn & Poe is filled with whiplash. The light-springing sequence is something you would build up to and then use either in the middle or the end, not the first 10 minutes. The whole scene itself lasts less than 4 minutes. That's waaaay too short. It's a sequence that could've worked, cinematically speaking. I liked seeing different worlds in quick succession, but not only did they come and go too quickly, I couldn't suspend my disbelief. No way the Falcon could have just sped through meters of solid ice without crumpling, and there's no way the TIE Fighters could have been so hot on their trail with each light-speed jump. The scene should have taken at least 10 minutes, with the Kylo scene at the beginning taking place either right after it or just taken out of the movie because it's rhetarded.
The chemistry between Foe, Pinn & Ghey is abrupt. Their first scene together seemed to only be their to emotionally validate Rey as being the best at everything. This is the same shit Ya Boi Zack points out about most Marvel comics today, even the "all women are friends" trope between Rey and Leia. They're supposed to be master and apprentice, but both the notion and its execution are laughable. Rey doesn't need or benefit from any training, and Leia should not have been in this movie. This is not her "final performance"; most of the credit goes to the fix-it-in-post crew.
I have no idea why Kijimi is in this film. It looks like something out of JJ Abrams' Overlord: a WW2-era town occupied by Nazis. I could say the same for the Knights of Ren, except they're more like they're from Medieval times. Two very dissonant elements in what is supposed to be a Star Wars movie.
I love this shit. The movie's pretending like Zorri is in any danger. Just pull the trigger and you win. She's got it pointed right at her heart. Rey can't heal herself, especially not after she's dead.
Ironic.
Babu Frick can babu fuck off back to Men in Black. D-O on the other hand I liked. He's redundant to BB8, but his timid English-speaking stutter is cute. I imagine it's something that would get old fast, unlike the usual Star Wars droid noises.
The sequences aboard Kylo Ren's Star Destroyer is probably one of the strongest in the movie. You finally have Finn, Rey and Poe on a mission together. The mind trick was played for a gag at first, but the way she used it to their advantage was smart. That scene where Rey jumps off the hangar bay and into the Falcon looked really nonsensical out of context, but in-context it makes more sense because they're not in space. They're in the sky somewhere within-atmo. Finn is wearing the same breathing mask used in Empire as a precaution though, and I think the heat coming from the Falcon's engines should've probably burned Kylo Ren's face a bit.
I kinda liked that JJ decided to put off Finn's Force sensitivity until sometime after TFA, so as to make him not too much like Luke, but then that and his entire character got torpedoed by Rey and then by Rian Johnson's Episode VIII. It's used as nothing more than a cheap shortcut in later scenes, and it sets up nothing but most likely shitty non-movie followups in the DisnEU. At the very least, since he was already throwing everything and the kitchen sink into this movie, he could've given Finn a single moment of Force Push or Pull at the right moment. Like it would've been exciting had he gotten involved in the fight at the end with Palpatine a la Han Solo at the end of ANH, but then he could've have shoved in the waste of a Reylo moment at the end.
So here we are back at the big lightsaber fight of the movie:
The only cool movie in this fight is them holding the other's saber in place mid-swing. Way to outdo George's amateur-hour shit in RotS, JJ:
I don't care if parts of this fight were cut out. The little lightsaber play we did get is more of the same unimpressive baseball swings and ballet twirls we've seen in the last two movies.
This isn't the longest, most epic lightsaber battle ever. It's the slowest.
Ben's "Dad ..." moment was nice, but isn't as well-earned as the moments between Luke and Anakin in RotJ. Darth Vader was supposed to be one of the most evil baddies in the galaxy, but I dunno. I don't really care where Kylo is on that scale, but his redemption doesn't feel half as earned or cathartic by the end of the movie; neither does the Reylo romance. Don't get me wrong, though, I liked seeing him as a good guy for a change, especially since he suddenly grew a sense of humor:
Why does Luke still look like the fucking Hobo King of Ahch-Choo? Goddamnit, Mark. I was expecting to see you with a haircut and clean-shaven. I don't know why I expected anything good for Luke Skywalker in this film, but fuck it. What did you shave for in the first place?
The rest of the movie's dumb. What am I going to tell you?
As I rewatched these bits and pieces of the camrip with the Battle of Yavin playing in my ear, I thought back to E;R's statement in his Farce Engorges review: "This Farce will never be Star Wars." He's absolutely right. You can put all the callbacks, membaberries and leitmotifs you want in these movies; but unless you have the heart and soul of Star Wars in them, they will always be empty homunculi.
What amounts to a post-credits scene is how the movie-and the "Skywalker Saga"--ends. This scene finally brings the Rey character back full-circle to what she was always intended to be: a vessel. She is at the other end of the portal from Being John Malkovich, and the portal is the Sequel Trilogy. Rey's purpose--or at least part of it--was to allow the audience to feel like they're in a Star Wars movie, exploring all of their fond memories from earlier movies: Tatooine, the Falcon, the old cast, the Death Star, Anakin's lightsaber, etc. At the same time, Rey is meant to be a vessel for a new audience, specifically young girls, inviting them to be the new demographic that replaces the old one. Ya Boi Zack realized this about Rey very early on in this video:
I think this is partly why we don't get Luke, Han or Leia at their best, and why we don't see Luke with his green lightsaber. As an older generation, you're only along for the ride so you can pay for gas. It's not about you or for you. We're taking what you love and giving it to a new audience that probably will never love it like you did.
In isolation, I liked how this scene made me feel. It did for me what TFA couldn't: appealed to my nostalgia. Where TFA felt like a cheap copy-paste knockoff, this achieved the goal of inserting me into the Lars' homestead via Rey.
On a more interesting note... anyone remember the disgusting tentacled thing from Rogue One, that Kennedy wanted in due to her tentacle fetish, that puts tentacles in your nose and mouth to make you speak the truth (which was pretty fucking over the top to say the least)?
I'm not sure if this has been mentioned before but I was always confused by this scene in Rogue One. I only saw it once, but didn't Forrest Whittaker's character say something about how the monster always finds out the truth but can also potentially screw with the subject's brain? For the rest of the movie I was expecting some sort of payoff for this (otherwise why bring it up?), like he freaks out or makes a noise and gets them captured when they go to rescue Mads Mikkelsen, but instead he's just a bit twitchy for the rest of the movie and then dies.
So was any reason given why Palpy decided to nuke his whole empire after ROTJ (since EA Battlefront is canon) only to resurface 30 years where is new objective is to...now lay waste to the galaxy?
You know, Disney really missed out on a golden opportunity when they fired Colin Trevorrow.
Colin Trevorrow loves plots with intelligent dinos. Disney loves stealing plots from the real EU. You know what were a criminally underrated species in Star Wars?
That's right, the fucking Ssi-Ruu. How do you acquire a universe that has raptors with guns and not have the guy who directed a film about a man who talks to Velociraptors make a film about Velociraptors with guns?
Damn, I'm hoping no one in Disney lurks this thread. They might steal my idea.
Looks like James Rolfe decided to weigh in with another problematic review. Its mostly negative and the overall gist is that he says ROTJ should've been the only cinematic conclusion to Star Wars.
James continues to be based, but very nice about it. I remember him saying a while back in a movie review that people had become too critical, and that you should be able to turn your brain off and enjoy a movie. I believe this was in his Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull review, long before his infamous "No Ghostbusters 2016 review. I refuse" video. In the end, he's not wrong about either conclusion: it's okay to turn your brain off and enjoy a movie, but if you know you're going to hate it, why give them your money?
Meanwhile Justin's opinions are awful. The only thing we have in common is we both like D-O, except it's got nothing on baby yeed.
James continues to be based, but very nice about it. I remember him saying a while back in a movie review that people had become too critical, and that you should be able to turn your brain off and enjoy a movie. I believe this was in his Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull review, long before his infamous "No Ghostbusters 2016 review. I refuse" video. In the end, he's not wrong about either conclusion: it's okay to turn your brain off and enjoy a movie, but if you know you're going to hate it, why give them your money?
Meanwhile Justin's opinions are awful. The only thing we have in common is we both like D-O, except it's got nothing on baby yeed.
Unlike other people in Youtube reviewer sphere, James always struck me as being extremely knowledgable and motivated about films without falling into being pompous.
I found all info on Palpatine's own shitty not-Empire. Apparently all of the people running his ships and shit are people raised by the Sith Eternal cult to worship Palpatine and the Dark Side and as such they're mindlessly loyal. They've never been in combat before either. Palpatine has billions of fucking sith and sith worshiping cultists under him now. Even if he dies how is any of this a win? What the fuck were they thinking? What does Palpatine even mean by he's all the Sith? Who the fuck thought this out? Nobody fucking wins, yet a bunch of ships start getting Holdo'd at the end of the movie and they expect you to believe everything will be fine?
Also each of the Death Star Destroyers is powered by a miniature sun... This whole fucking book is nothing but plot hole filler and trying to give cheap explanations as to why anything happens in this movie yet only ends up creating more questions.
The victory at the end of ROTJ was believable because not only did the head of government die but his greatest weapon was destroyed again and even more money and resources were wasted while shaking faith in the empire and causing political infighting, but here this is not a political power, its a gigantic super-cult of sith spread across the galaxy who worship Palpatine and probably know all the means and secrets for becoming a sith. That's completely different from the secular and self-serving Empire with numerous moffs and admirals fighting for power. Sweet fuck, Abrams and Hidalgo really have no idea all the crap they've just let loose. Also according to these guides the biggest and most influential shipyard and weapon companies in the galaxy are run by sith loyalists or have sith infiltrators. There's sith lovers everywhere and this movie expects us to see anything Rey does as a victory? What's to stop one of these fuckers from performing some kind of ritual to have Palpatine's dark soul possess them? Fucking nothing. All of this is made even more idiotic by EA-Battlefront II's storyline and their moronic Project Cinder bullshit which implies the Empire could never have been defeated if Palpatine didn't tell them to kill themselves after he died for failing to protect him, despite that he didn't die and just wasted even more of his resources for no reason. These movies, EA, and this whole damn shebang since 2012 was a mistake.
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