Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Creep3r]

Here, the Rebels seem like shitbags and I was rooting for the First Order to just wipe them all out.

That was honestly one of Disney Wars' most glaring problems. The Resistance and its characters were so terrible that more people and even nu-fans were rooting for the FO and Kylo Ren to win and Disney could not sell non-FO shit to save their lives. You can do nothing but stare in awe at such a massive fuck up.

Jesus Christ I was around page 1110 before I had to do my jobs for Christmas. Can anyone tell me ANYTHING good about Star Wars instead of having to go through over 150 pages of soul-crushing?

Only good thing I can say about IX is that I really liked this alien's design. Its the only one that feels positive for me.

Its basically a donut steal version of Snivvians (the only non-human/wookiees aside from Lutrillians to appear in every single film in the OT) and it looks like the better Snivvian designs from the EU and also like something I once drew ages ago, so it feels kind of surreal seeing it in flesh and it would make a great redesign for Snivvians which quite frankly were my least favorite species design-wise. So its a shame to have to see this nice design wasted on a such a shit film alongside so many bad designs. Only difference is that its missing fangs.


Also, I'm thinking about whether or not I should share Skippy the Jedi Droid in this thread. Skippy as many may or may not know was the cause of a lot controversy years back around the time of the Disney purchase and was the main arguing point when dismissing anything outside the OT and it was further made a popular arguing point by youtubers like HelloGreedo and "geek sites" like Dorkly ragging on pre-Disney Star Wars because of Skippy (even though the shitload of Ewok media would've made for a far better arguing point), despite that the Skippy comic was intentionally written as a comedic non-canon parody and none of those clickbait hate articles or videos bothered to even point that out or share pics that would blatantly show that the comic was just a non-canon parody and even starts with a disclaimer saying that its just a load of hogwash. So anyone interested? The Skippy parody was also followed by a non-canon parody of Pulp Fiction starring Mace Windu.

 

[Duke Nukem]

The only problem I can see with that is the sheer amount of resources required to retrofit that many ships, or create them from scratch. I mean, without a massive infrastructure, like the one the Empire provided, it's take many many decades to refit that many ships. You need mines, foundries, refineries, factories, droids and/or workers to staff all of them... I mean, the Empire having the resources it had made sense because the Empire controlled 1.5 MILLION planets with a further 70 million colonies and puppet states. They'd easily be able to amass the manpower and resources required to mass produce giant ships. And unlike Palps they didn't have to hide their operations. Can you imagine how hard it would be to relocate that many resources to Exogol without anybody noticing? And how hard it would be to keep anything from getting out considering that a Star Destroyer required a crew of 45,000+ personnel each with the included Stormtrooper ground forces.

It's ust mind boggling to think an operation that size, requiring that many people and resources, could be hidden even in a very large Galaxy like the one Far Far Away.

Don't question it, it's the Force. Sith space magic can make anything possible.

Spoiler: Click here to find out how

 

[feral cat #6385]

So that's why she's a Disney Star Wars shill. She was literally produced by Kathleen Kennedy

So what you are saying is Kathleen Kennedy has a great big tank full of Jenny clones. I believe it.

Probably has an even bigger tank full of Moviebob clones too. Would have to be a lot bigger.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

Also each of the Death Star Destroyers is powered by a miniature sun... This whole fucking book is nothing but plot hole filler and trying to give cheap explanations as to why anything happens in this movie yet only ends up creating more questions.

That apparently is a reference to the original Star Destroyers in the EU's ICS, though. Always seemed like just a way to say 'fuck-off huge fusion reactor', to be fair. Where the fuck they're getting the resources to build and crew that many Star Destroyers and then slap superlasers on them is another question. It's just JJ copying the Eclipses from Dark Empire and making them much more boring and retarded.

 

[Creep3r]

That apparently is a reference to the original Star Destroyers in the EU's ICS, though. Always seemed like just a way to say 'fuck-off huge fusion reactor', to be fair. Where the fuck they're getting the resources to build and crew that many Star Destroyers and then slap superlasers on them is another question. It's just JJ copying the Eclipses from Dark Empire and making them much more boring and exceptional.

According to the pages I posted and other parts of this shitty guide, Palpatine's Sith order is so fucking huge that they have people in positions of power in almost all the major companies across the galaxy, which kind of continues that shitty plotline from TLJ from the hacker dude who said the real villains are the rich and all the major weapons companies.

 

[Optimus Prime]

According to the pages I posted and other parts of this shitty guide, Palpatine's Sith order is so fucking huge that they have people in positions of power in almost all the major companies across the galaxy, which kind of continues that shitty plotline from TLJ from the hacker dude who said the real villains are the rich and all the major weapons companies.

Oh no they're the fucking illuminati.

But if they're already in power over the industrial-military complex underpinning of the economy...what the fuck is the point of blowing up ALL the planets again?

 

[Creep3r]

Oh no they're the fucking illuminati.

But if they're already in power over the industrial-military complex underpinning of the economy...what the fuck is the point of blowing up ALL the planets again?

Well you see, the thing about that is...

 

[Matthew216]

I found all info on Palpatine's own shitty not-Empire. Apparently all of the people running his ships and shit are people raised by the Sith Eternal cult to worship Palpatine and the Dark Side and as such they're mindlessly loyal. They've never been in combat before either. Palpatine has billions of fucking sith and sith worshiping cultists under him now. Even if he dies how is any of this a win? What the fuck were they thinking? What does Palpatine even mean by he's all the Sith? Who the fuck thought this out? Nobody fucking wins, yet a bunch of ships start getting Holdo'd at the end of the movie and they expect you to believe everything will be fine?
View attachment 1068548View attachment 1068551View attachment 1068550View attachment 1068549
Also each of the Death Star Destroyers is powered by a miniature sun... This whole fucking book is nothing but plot hole filler and trying to give cheap explanations as to why anything happens in this movie yet only ends up creating more questions.

The victory at the end of ROTJ was believable because not only did the head of government die but his greatest weapon was destroyed again and even more money and resources were wasted while shaking faith in the empire and causing political infighting, but here this is not a political power, its a gigantic super-cult of sith spread across the galaxy who worship Palpatine and probably know all the means and secrets for becoming a sith. That's completely different from the secular and self-serving Empire with numerous moffs and admirals fighting for power. Sweet fuck, Abrams and Hidalgo really have no idea all the crap they've just let loose. Also according to these guides the biggest and most influential shipyard and weapon companies in the galaxy are run by sith loyalists or have sith infiltrators. There's sith lovers everywhere and this movie expects us to see anything Rey does as a victory? What's to stop one of these fuckers from performing some kind of ritual to have Palpatine's dark soul possess them? Fucking nothing. All of this is made even more idiotic by EA-Battlefront II's storyline and their moronic Project Cinder bullshit which implies the Empire could never have been defeated if Palpatine didn't tell them to kill themselves after he died for failing to protect him, despite that he didn't die and just wasted even more of his resources for no reason. These movies, EA, and this whole damn shebang since 2012 was a mistake.

The miniature sun thing has been part of the EU for awhile (I think), and as for the mindlessly loyal thing, I tend to think it’s similar to Joruus C’baoth’s definition of power (go read Timothy Zahn’s “Thrawn trilogy” for info on this guy), in that “real power” is not just having them do what you say but that everything they do and think is in some way an extension of your will, which is capable through strength in the Force.

 

[Love Machine]

It's time for a Love machine consoomer review(part 1).

I have picked up a few figuarts. Figures I'd give a little review of the first that showed up.
Full disclosure these are second hand, so don't ree at me for the kylo since the rat didn't get his money.

I'll be talking about 2 figures. Kylo Ren(rise of the Skywalker) and Stormtroopers (a new hope).

First off package contents.

Spoiler: Stormtrooper

This is bandai's gorrilionth trooper. This time they finally nailed the proportions, they are very close to screen accurate on proportion. Articulation above the waist is uninhibited, nothing gets in your way. The armor on the legs inhibit it a bit, he won't be able to take a knee but they are free enough for dynamic poses if that's what you want. Hands hold all the guns snuggly so they won't be dropping on you.

Spoiler

Spoiler: Kylo Ren

Cape is the stand out here. It is FULLY wired, so you can pose it like crazy. Due to the lack of armor or robes, he can pull off some really nice poses if you take the time. Robe comes off easy if you pop the head off. Only gripe is that his light saber hand holds it loose. He is also readily available second hand due to the flop of the movie. I got mine second hand because its box was mearly damaged (Japs are autistic about this). So if your a collector, a guilt free buy will be easy to find.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

It's time for a Love machine consoomer review(part 1).

I have picked up a few figuarts. Figures I'd give a little review of the first that showed up.
Full disclosure these are second hand, so don't ree at me for the kylo since the rat didn't get his money.

I'll be talking about 2 figures. Kylo Ren(rise of the Skywalker) and Stormtroopers (a new hope).

First off package contents.
View attachment 1068757

Spoiler: Stormtrooper

View attachment 1068762

This is bandai's gorrilionth trooper. This time they finally nailed the proportions, they are very close to screen accurate on proportion. Articulation above the waist is uninhibited, nothing gets in your way. The armor on the legs inhibit it a bit, he won't be able to take a knee but they are free enough for dynamic poses if that's what you want. Hands hold all the guns snuggly so they won't be dropping on you.

Spoiler

Spoiler: Kylo Ren

View attachment 1068807

Cape is the stand out here. It is FULLY wired, so you can pose it like crazy. Due to the lack of armor or robes, he can pull off some really nice poses if you take the time. Robe comes off easy if you pop the head off. Only gripe is that his light saber hand holds it loose. He is also readily available second hand due to the flop of the movie. I got mine second hand because its box was mearly damaged (Japs are autistic about this). So if your a collector, a guilt free buy will be easy to find.

>buying a Kylo figure at all

The Stormtrooper & the weapons that come with it look great tho.

 

[Fluoxetine Man]

MWAAAAHHhhhhh the Force champagne has always.. been celebrated .. for its excellence..

Sorry. There's no known way of saying a Basic sentence in which you begin a sentence with 'in' and emphasize it. Get me Rogue Squadron and show me how you can say "in July", and I'll go down to Tosche Station with you.

 

[Creep3r]

The miniature sun thing has been part of the EU for awhile (I think), and as for the mindlessly loyal thing, I tend to think it’s similar to Joruus C’baoth’s definition of power (go read Timothy Zahn’s “Thrawn trilogy” for info on this guy), in that “real power” is not just having them do what you say but that everything they do and think is in some way an extension of your will, which is capable through strength in the Force.

You mean the solar ionization thing? I always thought that was some kind of neo-solar power shit.

Although I think TORtanic introduced mini-suns as part of some ancient Zakuul tech (but then everything related to those fuckers is OP as fuck), but I haven't really played TORtanic in ages so I can't really say (at least not since they started adding sequel crap while refusing to offer any real improvements that weren't just expensive cosmetic bullshit). Although there could be mini suns in other places and I'm just forgetting.

 

[Love Machine]

>buying a Kylo figure at all

The Stormtrooper & the weapons that come with it look great tho.

I liked kylo for the most part.... despite of everything. Could just be because i like adam driver.
Also he looks cool next to darth vader.

but yea the storm troopers are awesome.

 

[Uranus Pink]

The miniature sun thing has been part of the EU for awhile (I think), and as for the mindlessly loyal thing,

Late 80ies to early 90ies old and paraphrasing from memory:

"The Imperial Star Destroyer hypermatter reactor puts out more power in a year than a regular star does during its entire lifetime."

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

This franchise was just a massive waste of so many interesting characters. Rose, Finn, and Poe were all basically sidelined for Kyle Ron and his ~redempshun arc~ and Purity Sue and her teeth grunting. Finn's case is ESPECIALLY frustrating. He's set up to be a big hero but gets thrust to the side instead because of Rian. And yes even characters who clearly deserved to be written better like Phasma, Holdo, Luke, Hux, etc.

Someone said its apparently racist that Poe is a spice runner. Nigga what? He was supposed to be dead but for some reason they thought he was worth sparing.

 

[Love Machine]

Someone said its apparently racist that Poe is a spice runner. Nigga what? He was supposed to be dead but for some reason they thought he was worth sparing.

I heard Oscar Isaac asked not to be killed off because at the time, he was dying in most of his roles. So I guess JJ threw him a bone and it took off from there, because despite it all, he is more likable then most of the cast.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

I heard Oscar Isaac asked not to be killed off because at the time, he was dying in most of his roles. So I guess JJ threw him a bone and it took off from there, because despite it all, he is more likable then most of the cast.

He and Boyega are the more likable of the cast, Boyega's got that Star Wars nerd thing which in another timeline would have fans praising him for being the new protagonist of the new Trilogy.

 

[Floop]

cringe bro. Also nice ifunny logo.

 

[Saxxon]

View attachment 1068971
cringe bro. Also nice ifunny logo.

This is on the same level of that Dobson comic.

 

[Floop]

This is on the same level of that Dobson comic.

I highly doubt that Disney ruined Star Wars just to call their fans dumb poopy heads.