Horrorcow Zoe Quinn / Chelsea Van Valkenburg / Locke Valentine / @UnburntWitch / @Primeape / CrashOverride / Hat Box / Old Uncle Anime - Con Artist, Abuser, Sexual Harasser, Drove Alec Holowka to Suicide.

[Water-T]

I'm sick of Option A. It's all we get nowadays. I want a flameout so spectacular that it puts the Columbia to shame.

A giant flameout would be spectacular, but then the soyboys at Polygon and Kotaku that she sucked off would turn her into a martyr and blame it on goobergrape. A slow, painful descent into obscurity, a drug addiction, getting fat, and turning tricks to make rent is a much better future for Chelsea.

5 years after Games Journalism Cancer began, all she has to show for it is no career in gaming, gaining back all the fat she got lipo'd, a book that sat in $1 bins within a year, a shuttered anti-bullying charity, a comic series that got cancelled after 6 issues, an $85,000 grift that she's already spent and can't repeat, a dwindling Patreon, the death of an ex-bf hanging over her head, and is possibly turning tricks in Japan. By the time the tenth anniversary of GG rolls around, Chelsea will have hit rock bottom. There aren't enough soyboy dicks to suck that'll restore her to her former glory.

 

[Tanner Glass]

I'm sick of Option A. It's all we get nowadays. I want a flameout so spectacular that it puts the Columbia to shame.

Zoe (allegedly an Anti-Bullying advocate) bullied her ex boyfriend until he killed himself - not sure how much more hilarious a flame out you can ask for.

 

[Pargon]

Zoe (allegedly an Anti-Bullying advocate) bullied her ex boyfriend until he killed himself - not sure how much more hilarious a flame out you can ask for.

Considering that's as disastrous a thing as I can imagine short of her calling someone a double nigger on Twitter I guess that's fair. Being that it's still not enough to get her circles to turn on her says more about them than her at this point I suppose.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Considering that's as disastrous a thing as I can imagine short of her calling someone a double nigger on Twitter I guess that's fair. Being that it's still not enough to get her circles to turn on her says more about them than her at this point I suppose.

They already turned on her years ago - that's why this thread is so slow. Basically, no one cares about Zoe anymore outside of a very small handful of people - the Alec suicide was her just royally fucking up what she was hoping would be her return to the spotlight.

She can't ever really go back - she kills everything she touches. She can't just go back to CON, because all of the unpaid trannies aren't going to be dumb enough to be tricked into running it for a second time. She can't look to Anita for help because she's broke too - not to mention that Zoe is nuclear-levels of toxic right now. She can't pretend to be a kickstarter game developer because she's still on the hook for $85k from the last one.

Her game(s) died, her book died, her network died, her grift died. Now she's taking pity comic work, in a dying industry, and probably fucking someone to be able to do even that - and it isn't paying the bills. She's just a name that some bored marketing person attaches to something just to see if they can get controversy, but she isn't even worth that anymore.

She had tons of opprotunity but she blew all of it (heh) and now will be a super minor e-celeb for the rest of her life. She'll show up on a few youtube channels on occasion, some kotaku writer (while that site still exists) will occasionally dredge her name up on a slow day, but that's basically it. There's no longer an "up" from here for her and she's pretty low as it is.

 

[AnOminous]

The upside is that her career is dead and gay. Getting pity assignments on comic books nobody reads to fill diversity quotas, her Kickstarter career is dead, her Patreon is barely chugging along, etc. Not much for her to look forward to. She was really hoping to become a professional victim again until Alec hung himself.

At least one good thing came out of that and it is that this worthless ghoul has no future now.

 

[Rekkington]

As with Lowtax I'm not sure if I'd prefer a slow decline into the black hole of obscurity, or a sudden immolation and over night disgrace.

sudden immolation. there needs to be more huge drama for this to remain interesting, otherwise she is just one of thousands of hacks who fucked her way to the middle of a creative field and gets handed dying projects to ruin while posting quirky cocktails on instagram. she'll probably end up in advertising.

t. blackpilled marketing bitch

 

[la mort]

Does she actually spend Christmas with her family?

She has spent Christmas getting high.




Archive.

 

[Shield Breaker]

As with Lowtax I'm not sure if I'd prefer a slow decline into the black hole of obscurity, or a sudden immolation and over night disgrace.

A nice explosion to start off the new year.

 

[Pargon]

She has spent Christmas getting high.

View attachment 1069831
View attachment 1069835
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Archive.

Five years ago she was organizing things and had followers who'd actually do work on her behalf for promises of payment later.

Now? Just another drug-addled sack of skin waiting for the reaper. I guess this is both a pretty fitting end and a satisfying one as well.

You fucked and sucked and smoked and snorted your way to the bottom, Zoe. Now all that's left for you is to dance for our amusement.

Take my advice. Do it at the end of a rope.

 

[Wargarbl]

SA was never my thing, but the Lowtax thread very been eye-opening in relation to Chelsea. She's a shittier female copy of LowT, except even less likable somehow. I don't know if she purposely modeled herself after him or if they both just happen to have the same garbage personality naturally, but the resemblance is uncanny.

A couple of grifting scumbags that enjoyed some initial success, followed by a long, slow downward spiral of self-sabotage, laziness and extreme narcissism.

 

[MediocreMilt]

View attachment 1069831

Either she's posting VERY old photos or she's mastered camera angles at a level that eclipses traps.

 

[Crabbo]

Either she's posting VERY old photos or she's mastered camera angles at a level that eclipses traps.

No one can master photography like a subpar 45% trying to pass themselves off as 70%

 

[Kheapathic]

SA was never my thing, but the Lowtax thread very been eye-opening in relation to Chelsea. She's a shittier female copy of LowT, except even less likable somehow. I don't know if she purposely modeled herself after him or if they both just happen to have the same garbage personality naturally, but the resemblance is uncanny.

A couple of grifting scumbags that enjoyed some initial success, followed by a long, slow downward spiral of self-sabotage, laziness and extreme narcissism.

Like attracts like; and only the good/smart sociopaths can handle the edginess of being a loner and not needing anyone. I was never a SA person either; but watching Rich and Chelsea implode shows they never had the chops to mastermind their way into positions of authority. They just happened to be the right person in the right place at the right time and made some success off whatever it is they did; there was no over-arching plan, scheme, etc. Rich has to beg and cater to the people he used to laugh at while he wastes away in a drug fueled haze. While Chelsea... probably whores herself out and latches onto anyone willing to pay for her shit while she scores small-time gigs for being "a woman in X." If diversity, inclusion, and all those other buzzwords weren't a thing and if corporate HR offices weren't staffed by dead-eggers, she wouldn't have half of what she got after GamerGate.

 

[Water-T]

Either she's posting VERY old photos or she's mastered camera angles at a level that eclipses traps.

Gotta be old photos. The recent ones of her with her biker family showed that Chelsea's been porking up again.

 

[King Dead]

A giant flameout would be spectacular, but then the soyboys at Polygon and Kotaku that she sucked off would turn her into a martyr and blame it on goobergrape. A slow, painful descent into obscurity, a drug addiction, getting fat, and turning tricks to make rent is a much better future for Chelsea.

5 years after Games Journalism Cancer began, all she has to show for it is no career in gaming, gaining back all the fat she got lipo'd, a book that sat in $1 bins within a year, a shuttered anti-bullying charity, a comic series that got cancelled after 6 issues, an $85,000 grift that she's already spent and can't repeat, a dwindling Patreon, the death of an ex-bf hanging over her head, and is possibly turning tricks in Japan. By the time the tenth anniversary of GG rolls around, Chelsea will have hit rock bottom. There aren't enough soyboy dicks to suck that'll restore her to her former glory.

That reminds me of something from quite a few months ago, back when I was still lurking before Null made me sign up to shitpost about Star Wars.

I frequent my local chain bookstores on a regular basis, usually swinging by one or the other once a week or so. At one of them, I recall seeing four copies of Zoe's book sitting on the shelf with other tech books, week after week. It was obvious nobody was buying them, especially since I don't live in one of the more soy-fueled regions of the country. Made for a nice chuckle every time I walked by and saw them gathering dust.

Then one day a couple months later, I noticed that all of them were gone. They weren't anywhere else on the tech shelves, nor had they been moved to any of the bargain racks. I had only been in a week or so prior, so I doubted that all had been sold in such a short timeframe.

So, Kiwis who have worked in or know some things about bookstores: if a bookstore can't sell any copies of a book, do they send them back to the publisher? Do they end up going to a wholesaler or something along those lines? I just found it curious how they all disappeared so quickly.

 

[Where Do You Find Them?]

if a bookstore can't sell any copies of a book, do they send them back to the publisher?

Yes, usually with a full refund.

 

[Water-T]

That reminds me of something from quite a few months ago, back when I was still lurking before Null made me sign up to shitpost about Star Wars.

I frequent my local chain bookstores on a regular basis, usually swinging by one or the other once a week or so. At one of them, I recall seeing four copies of Zoe's book sitting on the shelf with other tech books, week after week. It was obvious nobody was buying them, especially since I don't live in one of the more soy-fueled regions of the country. Made for a nice chuckle every time I walked by and saw them gathering dust.

Then one day a couple months later, I noticed that all of them were gone. They weren't anywhere else on the tech shelves, nor had they been moved to any of the bargain racks. I had only been in a week or so prior, so I doubted that all had been sold in such a short timeframe.

So, Kiwis who have worked in or know some things about bookstores: if a bookstore can't sell any copies of a book, do they send them back to the publisher? Do they end up going to a wholesaler or something along those lines? I just found it curious how they all disappeared so quickly.

They were probably dumped in those Bargain Bins where unsold books go to die.

There's a photo somewhere in this thread from about a year ago showing piles of her book with "ONLY $2" stickers on the cover.

 

[Jack Torrance]

Gotta be old photos. The recent ones of her with her biker family showed that Chelsea's been porking up again.

Not by a small amount, either. She's easily upwards of 200lbs in those photos, and those were taken late spring/early summer of this year. Hard to lose weight when your days consist of smoking and drinking yourself into oblivion while shitposting from your couch stained with Dorito crumbs and pet urine.

Logically, does she have any possible upward or even lateral moves from here? There's no way she'll get an actual job or give up whatever spotlight she has left.

 

[Pargon]

Not by a small amount, either. She's easily upwards of 200lbs in those photos, and those were taken late spring/early summer of this year. Hard to lose weight when your days consist of smoking and drinking yourself into oblivion while shitposting from your couch stained with Dorito crumbs and pet urine.

Logically, does she have any possible upward or even lateral moves from here? There's no way she'll get an actual job or give up whatever spotlight she has left.

A very specialized non-profit, staffed with people sympathetic to her (or at least who might benefit by announcing that they've hired her) might still bring her on as a "consultant" or, if they were really foolish, some sort of social media manager. I'll concede that no sensible business or organization would bring her on but non-profits sometimes seem to operate contrary to all logic and still manage to thrive, or at least stick around, particularly in certain areas of the country. Just look at TransLifeline before they gave the ogre and his handler the heave-ho. I'd say it's more likely that whatever she lands will be more contract or other one-off work as that seems to be attractive both to cows and the entities which hire them since even now most places don't want to bring on a dangerhaired prog time bomb without a contingency to be able to dump them without reprisal at any time.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

SA was never my thing, but the Lowtax thread very been eye-opening in relation to Chelsea. She's a shittier female copy of LowT, except even less likable somehow. I don't know if she purposely modeled herself after him or if they both just happen to have the same garbage personality naturally, but the resemblance is uncanny.

A couple of grifting scumbags that enjoyed some initial success, followed by a long, slow downward spiral of self-sabotage, laziness and extreme narcissism.

I was never an SA member but I knew a handful online and off, and they all behaved like this. Most of them acted like they were seriously in an online badass eccentrics club because they paid money to be on a forum.