Jude Valentin / Jude Torres / Judy Valentin / DivineBrujeria / MermaidRoyal / MermaidQueenJude / MerQueenJude - Cancelled Twitch Streaming Clout Chaser, Wannabe Photographer. Cancellation event starting on page 838

[Spastic Colon]

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Is she super bloated or has she gained a lot of weight this Christmas? Her face is looking fatter than usual.

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Jude is really proud of performing basic human functions again.

Maybe her mom could put up a poster board and give her shiny star stickers as a reward when she does basic life skills. I used a chart like that when I was potty training my kids and since Jude seems to be functioning at a toddler level, this technique might actually work for her. I hope "make my bed" and "put on a bra" get added to the list. Oh, and "get a real job".

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

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If you look a the thumbnail for the fourth one and unfocus your eyes, it looks like she's possessed.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Why are you referring to yourself in the third person? It sounds pretentious.

 

[ADHD]

She hit her precious 10k mark.


Considering how slowly her follower count had been increasing, and considering she had less than 9500 followers 17 hours ago, what do the rest of you Kiwis think? Was this organic or did she buy followers since whining wasn't working quickly enough?

Also, lol @ "Jude sip emote" in her overlay.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I bet my left gajo she bought them.
Social Blade

 

[XenomorphThot]

Personally, I'm betting on her buying followers, especially with how she was already talking about how the stream was gonna be about hitting 10k before ... actually hitting 10k. Kinda messed up my timeline, but either way, it doesn't change my opinion. Totally bought them.

 

[Furiosa]

She totally bought them. A quick glance at her follower list; there are plenty no pic no post acts on there...

 

[ADHD]

She totally bought them. A quick glance at her follower list; there are plenty no pic no post acts on there...

I fully support this and hope she continues buying followers in the future instead of whining like a child about it. Money spent buying followers is money she can't spend on junk food.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

It's always a game of numbers with her. The more she has, the better.
Is this why she's fat?

 

[Dean Pentel]

It's always a game of numbers with her. The more she has, the better.
Is this why she's fat?

More = better with her, except for those icky things like jobs, responsibilities, capabilities, real friends, steps walked, etc. She ain't got time for that with how stunning and brave she is.

 

[JuniperFalls]

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Jude is really proud of performing basic human functions again.

She ate lunch before the dinner hour? Wow! How amazing!

If she thinks that's impressive, she'd pass out from vertigo if she heard about MY ultra-awesome mega-productive day: in the [redacted] hours since I woke up, I took a shower, put on clothing (including the socially minimum acceptable amount of underwear), ate some food, drank some water, brushed my teeth AND THEN left my place of residence to perform certain errands* necessary to the continued functioning of my household DESPITE being officially "on holiday" right now.

*I bought a few groceries! Plus laundry detergent! And dishwasher detergent! And THEN I hauled this stuff back home AND THEN put everything away! Laundry detergent in the laundry room, dishwasher detergent under the sink, cold stuff in the freezer or fridge, other stuff in the cabinets. Had to open, and then close, like six or seven different doors and drawers and cabinets, to accomplish this Marie Kondo-level organizational adulting awesomeness -- not counting the door separating my home from the scary outside world.

Am I not glorious? Am I not accomplished? Are you not impressed? Potential employers in my field: do you not want to hire me and give me a big salary and good benefits?

 

[nenko]

She ate lunch before the dinner hour? Wow! How amazing!

If she thinks that's impressive, she'd pass out from vertigo if she heard about MY ultra-awesome mega-productive day: in the [redacted] hours since I woke up, I took a shower, put on clothing (including the socially minimum acceptable amount of underwear), ate some food, drank some water, brushed my teeth AND THEN left my place of residence to perform certain errands* necessary to the continued functioning of my household DESPITE being officially "on holiday" right now.

*I bought a few groceries! Plus laundry detergent! And dishwasher detergent! And THEN I hauled this stuff back home AND THEN put everything away! Laundry detergent in the laundry room, dishwasher detergent under the sink, cold stuff in the freezer or fridge, other stuff in the cabinets. Had to open, and then close, like six or seven different doors and drawers and cabinets, to accomplish this Marie Kondo-level organizational adulting awesomeness -- not counting the door separating my home from the scary outside world.

Am I not glorious? Am I not accomplished? Are you not impressed? Potential employers in my field: do you not want to hire me and give me a big salary and good benefits?

Yeah but you're not a queer fat high femme latinx witch, so it doesnt count uwu

 

[Punkinsplice]

Jude has a shitty attitude, she is an entitled snowflake, and sometimes I want to mentally slap her but, oddly enough, I had a little proud moment for her when I read that she hit 10k. She fat tho and needs a bra.

 

[Birthday Dickpunch]

Jude has a shitty attitude, she is an entitled snowflake, and sometimes I want to mentally slap her but, oddly enough, I had a little proud moment for her when I read that she hit 10k. She fat tho and needs a bra.

Same... then I reminded myself that it's Jude and, if I'm honest, I really was hoping for her to not make it. Maybe (probably) she bought them, maybe she didn't, but either way we don't get to see the disappointment and whining.

 

[ADHD]

I bet my left gajo she bought them.
Social Blade

Jude has a shitty attitude, she is an entitled snowflake, and sometimes I want to mentally slap her but, oddly enough, I had a little proud moment for her when I read that she hit 10k. She fat tho and needs a bra.

Same... then I reminded myself that it's Jude and, if I'm honest, I really was hoping for her to not make it. Maybe (probably) she bought them, maybe she didn't, but either way we don't get to see the disappointment and whining.

So, Jude's averaged a gain of 21 followers per day, 630 per month. 20 hours or so ago she had 9478 followers, and now she has 10k. That's a gain of at least 522 followers, more than 80% of followers normally gained in an entire month, gained in less than 24 hours.

So yes, she's got her 10k metric, but she knows she didn't earn it, which has to be bruising her ego at least a little. And we know she didn't earn it.

 

[JuniperFalls]

Yeah but you're not a queer fat high femme latinx witch, so it doesnt count uwu

To be clear, I don't actually think "I showered, dressed, ate lunch, drank water, then ran a quick errand on a day off" is a genuinely bragworthy set of accomplishments. And I definitely don't think "ate lunch" or "drank water" are bragworthy on their own ... but Jude obviously does, because she actually, non-ironically brags about these things.

The woman is impossible to parody.

ETA: Regarding the suggestion that Jude bought her last chunk of followers -- a half-assed online search suggests you can buy 500 Instagram followers for under five bucks:

 

[ADHD]

She's at 10.3k followers now. If 500 followers is only $5, she may as well drop a hundred or so and really boost her numbers up.

 

[Chamaelirium]

Without powerleveling, I'll just state that I know a thing or two about social media, marketing and branding. If Jude bought followers, and it looks like she did, she'll come to regret it. The algorithms notice when they see the influx of bot and fake accounts follow you and assume you are some sort of spammer. This means you'll show up in your followers feeds less and won't show up on tagged or suggested pages as reliably. It may have made sense once upon a time before the algorithms started punishing buying fake followers, but if you own a business or a brand in current year, buying followers is not the move.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Chamaelirium]

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Spoiler: Mad on the Internet

“Non-binary femme” is the biggest piece is gaslighting self important BS I’ve ever encountered. Not even Scarlett OHara, the fictional general palpatine of cishet ~*white feminists *~ herself was any sort of binary character. There’s no way to come out as non binary without throwing close to 3 billion people under the bus. Some of us hunt, some of us own our own businesses, we give birth (or not), we are as vast and diverse as 3 billion humans can be. women are just adult female humans. A very small minority are intersex females. We are all born with female genitalia and after that there’s not really a coherent definition. There is no such fucking thing as a ~*non-binary femme~* except in the narcissist fever dreams of women like Jude and autogynephiles