Ok, listen. I'm going to try to do you a favour here
@mooooo, although smarter people than me have already tried. I'm really ashamed to admit it, but I used to think a bit like you do now, and if it wasn't for people taking the time to point certain things out to me and me ruining a good friendship I had because I was being a 'nice guy' I might have clung onto that bitterness and ended up a frothing loveshy.
But it's ok. You can stop. It's not easy to admit you were wrong about this sort of thing because it involves admitting that you have been quite self-involved and possibly a bit misogynistic, but it can be done, and you'll be a better person for it. You'll just have to accept a few things.
Firstly, 'nice' is not the same thing as 'good'. You should strive to be a good person rather than a nice one, because nice is the bare fucking minimum.
Terrible people can be nice. Ted Bundy was nice. I mean sure, being nice is nice, but you need to be more. I was nice - I complimented people (well, girls), I was polite, I was never mean to people. But then I never really did anything
for people either. And all the niceness was self-serving anyway.
Nice doesn't have intrinsic value to women because it doesn't have intrinsic value to anyone. And that brings me to my next point; women are people. Nothing more and nothing less. They aren't lesser beings who's opinions don't matter and they aren't golden goddesses to be worshiped and fawned over. Try to do this the next time you think or say the word 'women' - replace it with 'people'. Sooner or later you'll internalize it. They want what other people want, what
you want, and that's to be with someone they find physically attractive who has things going for them and that they have chemistry/shared interests with. I highly doubt that you would go out with a woman that you found unattractive purely down to how nice she was to you. I certainly wouldn't, and that's perfectly fine.
I get it. I'm going to assume that you're probably not a happy person, and you've probably had things happen during your childhood (Bullying, family problems, social ostracizing etc.). You probably have severe self-esteem problems, as is the pattern with people like us. You probably lacked the confidence to just tell girls how you felt and accept the result, leading to being a love-lamprey that 'befriends' girls hoping they'll notice you. All shit I've done.
Also, taking rejection is harder when you're riddled with insecurities and it's easier to put blame on the person doing the rejecting than admit that you may have/be the problem. Unfortunately when this happens more than once a pattern forms, and it's easy to slip into the thinking of "Women don't like me, but i'm going to ignore all my glaring personality faults. So why don't they like me? Well, I'm nice. That must be it. Women just don't like nice guys, so ipso facto they must like jerks."
You're probably in pain, and a person in pain is an awful thing. But you can't start projecting that pain onto others just because you can't turn that pain on yourself. Here's the thing though; you have to. Examine all those faults you hate yourself for, and fucking
change them.
I'm going to be blunt with you, you need to lose some weight, you need to get some better clothes, you need to fix the beard (either grow it out or shave it), and you need to expand your interests and hobbies. Also, make some female friends, and I do mean friends. Not someone you're going to pine over.
It's going to be difficult, it's going to chew you up, you'll end up ashamed of the things you've said/done and you might not be any happier on the other side of it. But you'll be close to being a 'good' person, rather than just a 'nice' one.
TL;DR, grow up, get a life and stop being a dick.
