Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ginger Piglet]

What are they into culturally?

Getting a large enough social credit score to be assigned a gf.

 

[Overly Serious]

The TLJ dictionary and two other guides say she kills creatures called Chromo Mites for her hair dye and in a comic I posted in this thread she killed a reptile/carnivorous-plant hybrid (I don't give enough of a shit to remember some Disney plant's name) and used its blood. In the comic its revealed that she becomes hostile and irrationally angry if she doesn't get her hair dyed a different color at least once a day and will do anything to make sure it gets dyed. Also she's really fucking useless and does literally nothing except bitch about the Empire/FO and hang out with Leia or talk about Leia. The comic then tries to force the reader to accept that she's useful when a bunch of troopers invade the ship and she's somehow able to whack them single-handedly, then her crew (who previously hated her) now love her unconditionally.
View attachment 1076664View attachment 1076666
And this is the character Disney wants to force us to accept as Leia's best friend and potential crush (at least on Holdo's part for now)...

Is this a joke? Seriously I'm actually having trouble believing this is real (no reflection on you). Can any writer really be this utterly self-sabotaging to their actual goals?

EDIT: "Apprentice Senator" ??!!??? WTF?

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Is this a joke? Seriously I'm actually having trouble believing this is real (no reflection on you). Can any writer really be this utterly self-sabotaging to their actual goals?

EDIT: "Apprentice Senator" ?‽‽?? WTF?

Well, it's the Democrat political machine in Californian college towns isn't it. Since these are places where a strategically shaved ape would get in if it was on the Democrat ticket, whoever curries enough favour and browns enough noses gets the nod and the election is little more than a coronation or rubber stamp. Since Galatenta is the Planet of Trustafarian College Students, it makes perfect sense that you are apprenticed to a politician to await your own coronation later on.

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

So now the Rise of Skywalker has made a box office of $761.7 million to its $275 million budget. The movie's box office is nearly 2.77 times its budget.

The consoomer strikes again. Is this due to sheer brand strength, I wonder? Or is Disney fudging the numbers?

 

[Cyril Sneer]

There's an article going around that ya boi Favreau may be handling the franchise going forward.

I want to believe.

Please God, may it be so.

Just imagine the welcoming exchange they shared when they met up. It might have been something like Hayden saying, hey I remember you. You're that youngling my character killed. Hey wanna take a selfie with me for the lols?

IIRC, Beadman came up to Hayden and said "I forgive you for killing me," or words to that effect, and Hayden broke down in a fit of laughter and hugged him.

Because they want to pretend they watched those movies is my guess.

Also kudos to Boyega dunking on shipper freaks. I especially love how much it casually highlights that for all the progressive bleating they do, they're still racists that hate miscegenation and think Chinamen are a massive audience of dumb consoomers.

Everyones A Little Bit Racist

Everyones A Little Bit Racist by avenue Q

m.youtube.com

 

[Overly Serious]

He fiiiiine as fuck now..........which is a far cry from "love won't save you padme, only my new powers can"
Also is it just me or did he have a slight habit of delivering his lines a little weird? Like he was talking with clenched teeth sometimes and put on what sounded like a Canadian attempt at mimicking an upper crust accent?

He was probably attempting to talk in a way that you could plausibly imagine turning into Darth Vader's voice in the OT. Vader talks in a very stentorian, clipped manner and very distinctive. And I think Hayden's way of talking is something you could imagine as a younger version. Ewan McGregor was doing the same with trying to produce continuity with Alec Guiness's Obi Wan. Both had a very challenging job in that both originals were excellent voice artists with a very unusual delivery and speaking patterns so they had to try and emulate those without sounding like they're doing a bad impersonation. Ewan McGregor did an excellent job imo, and Hayden's attempt is at least respectable. Again, imo.

I can't remember if it was Harrison Ford or Mark Hamill who told this story but they said on set they saw Alec Guinness marking up his script and asked what he was doing and Guinness showed that he was making little intonation notes over the words to map out how he would deliver them. They said it was a revelation to them just at what level Alec Guinness was approaching his craft and how they hadn't been taking the art as seriously as they should. At least that's what I remember. Was in an interview somewhere after Alec Guinness passed away, I think.

Bringing back Lucas as the head creative force would make things worse imo....

Man doesn't need to stress about this crap at this age. He made a setting for others to tell stories in, that's enough...

Perhaps, he could try to fix the Skywalker stuff as it was left. But, I think the best course of action is moving on...

What you want him to do is vett and appoint a proper creative tream

In an ideal world, Lucas (with Feloni) would get the team in place: then Lucas would run lectures/seminars discussing Star Wars. Making the creators read his influences. Then discussing his successes and failures with the property...

Thats more fitting for a man of his experience and more useful imo...

Passing on knowledge to people that understand, to George, what Star Wars is...

Lucas is one of the best visual directors going. I could talk at length about what a master of composition he is. He's like David Lean if David Lean loved action. And he also has a strong grasp of story structure. I know some might have reservations but he really does. He understands heroes, legends, tragedy. In another era, he'd be writing Homeric epics or Jacobean tragedies. His fatal flaw is that he writes dialogue like it's one of these epics or tragedies. And it's rejected by audiences who find it as unnatural as, frankly, it is. Some of it works either because of the talent of the actor or because it's not bad: "So this is how democracy dies - to the sound of thunderous applause". Some of it fails because either the actor couldn't pull it off or it's just irredeemable: "I trust that the kiss that we shared will not become a scar upon my heart". And a few bits here and there are actually appropriate but received badly because the audience don't want to see a character as the person they plainly are: "So have you, grown more beautiful I mean" (delivered by a love-struck teenager brought up by monks).

Which is basically me agreeing with you. Put Lucas and Filoni in together (a master and an apprentice). Sprinkle liberally with Favreau. And tell the studio executives to make like Alderan and split while talented people get on with the job.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Because "OMG THEY WERE ONLY MADE TO SELL TOYS AND GEORGE LUCAS SUCKS THEY ARE AS BAD AS JARJAR!!!!!! HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY HAVE BEATEN THE EMPIRE WITH STICKS AND SHIT"

They haven't cracked a fucking history book long enough to read about you know..The Vietnam War, or looked into how Ewoks came to be since the original idea was for it to be Chewbacca's home world, but they nixed that because it would have made Chewie less unique and interesting.

I think it was more because it would be a pain to get multiple actors in Wookiee costumes.

As for the people who hate on the Ewoks, it’s those Star Wars fans who think of themselves as more mature and beyond childish things or take Star Wars way too seriously

 

[Ridleys Mouth Filter]

While I agree Lucas could with the right talent around him make something worth having, I cannot believe I am the only one here who would rather fit him with a bodycam and make a YouTube video of him telling them all to go fuck themselves while telling everyone about KKs deviant sexual proclivities. And maybe throwing a lit match over his shoulder in slow motion as he walks away laughing his sick fucking head off. Cue explosions.

 

[Cyril Sneer]

I think it was more because it would be a pain to get multiple actors in Wookiee costumes.

No one in his right mind is going to think that Wookies aren't a potential threat, though, so there's your whole element of surprise lost.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

He was probably attempting to talk in a way that you could plausibly imagine turning into Darth Vader's voice in the OT. Vader talks in a very stentorian, clipped manner and very distinctive. And I think Hayden's way of talking is something you could imagine as a younger version. Ewan McGregor was doing the same with trying to produce continuity with Alec Guiness's Obi Wan. Both had a very challenging job in that both originals were excellent voice artists with a very unusual delivery and speaking patterns so they had to try and emulate those without sounding like they're doing a bad impersonation. Ewan McGregor did an excellent job imo, and Hayden's attempt is at least respectable. Again, imo.

I can't remember if it was Harrison Ford or Mark Hamill who told this story but they said on set they saw Alec Guinness marking up his script and asked what he was doing and Guinness showed that he was making little intonation notes over the words to map out how he would deliver them. They said it was a revelation to them just at what level Alec Guinness was approaching his craft and how they hadn't been taking the art as seriously as they should. At least that's what I remember. Was in an interview somewhere after Alec Guinness passed away, I think.



Lucas is one of the best visual directors going. I could talk at length about what a master of composition he is. He's like David Lean if David Lean loved action. And he also has a strong grasp of story structure. I know some might have reservations but he really does. He understands heroes, legends, tragedy. In another era, he'd be writing Homeric epics or Jacobean tragedies. His fatal flaw is that he writes dialogue like it's one of these epics or tragedies. And it's rejected by audiences who find it as unnatural as, frankly, it is. Some of it works either because of the talent of the actor or because it's not bad: "So this is how democracy dies - to the sound of thunderous applause". Some of it fails because either the actor couldn't pull it off or it's just irredeemable: "I trust that the kiss that we shared will not become a scar upon my heart". And a few bits here and there are actually appropriate but received badly because the audience don't want to see a character as the person they plainly are: "So have you, grown more beautiful I mean" (delivered by a love-struck teenager brought up by monks).

Which is basically me agreeing with you. Put Lucas and Filoni in together (a master and an apprentice). Sprinkle liberally with Favreau. And tell the studio executives to make like Alderan and split while talented people get on with the job.

Its interesting. I recall Carrie said Alec was one of the kindest professionals she worked with. I kind of like to think that secretly he enjoyed it in the same way Ian and Patrick enjoyed Magneto and Xavier because it was kind of like Shakespeare.

Also I have to find it but there was an interview with Carrie where someone mentioned how Leia had a total non reaction to Alderaan getting blown up. She never talks about her home planet again after that. Carrie was like "I know! Wtf was up with that?"

 

[Shield Breaker]

I think it was more because it would be a pain to get multiple actors in Wookiee costumes.

As for the people who hate on the Ewoks, it’s those Star Wars fans who think of themselves as more mature and beyond childish things or take Star Wars way too seriously

No, Lucas said that he didn't think it made sense for Wookies to have primitive stone age society if Chewbacca could fly ships, use a blaster, and repair droids, so he just shrunk them and called it a new species.

 

[Übertroon]

No one in his right mind is going to think that Wookies aren't a potential threat, though, so there's your whole element of surprise lost.

You could have had them broken and beaten, a hunched over and mangled wookiee probably looks a lot less threatening
I think the reason they chose ewoks over wookiees is that they were planning on making Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure after Return of a jedi, so they already had costumes in production, and they calculated that the success of Star Wars would aid their tv movie

 

[Cyril Sneer]

You could have had them broken and beaten, a hunched over and mangled wookiee probably looks a lot less threatening

The only non-threatening Wookie is a dead Wookie.

 

[Creep3r]

Here's Snoke's shitty bio from the dictionary along with more timeline shit. They're still trying to push the whole "not a sith" angle for him even though there's no more reason to since he's a shitty sith clone and we have a whole galaxy full of siths now and a sith monkey. The shitty book also tries to claim that his death was always planned and that he was created to mold and train the next sith lord who would kill him as his final test, so Snoke is a mindless meat puppet. Also this whole thing is made all the more irrelevant since Rey is the one who kills him, not the sith trainee Kylo Ren who Hidalgo used to deny was not a sith in any way or in training. This whole guide is just one big mess that makes an even bigger disaster out of Disney's awful new continuity.

More timeline bs and a graph about Starkiller revealing that only its midsection was altered, everything else was still natural and were using jedi crystals to harvest star energy... The smoldering remains of Starkiller were renamed Solo... Wow... Reminder that this was once Ilum, a sacred jedi world from old lore popularized by Genndy Wars that was the biggest source of lightsaber crystals. Gotta make sure nothing of the jedi remains so Rey can make her own jedi lore.

Mustafar is no longer inhabited by familiar aliens, specifically the Mustafarians from the prequels. Instead its now inhabited by "Alazmec" who, according to this dictionary, are one of the many species who worship the sith who have come to pay respects at Darth Vader's shitty tuning fork castle which is now in ruins and has a fucking forest over it. The planet now has forests and the nu-aliens there use primitive wooden clubs that have high tech embedded in them.

Note despite the trees being called "ironwood" they're not actually iron. If you're going to make Mustafar such a shadow of its former self why not just make a new planet you hacks? Also, not only are the Sith Eternal immeasurable in numbers and more influential than ever, but even civilians revere and remember the sith more than the jedi... Wow. What a victory...

The guide also claims that theses shitty not-Holocrons were designed based on the brains of magic colorful Space Whales from Aladdin's Rebels.

Yes these are Filoni's space whales that I've mentioned before who tentacle raped Thrawn, can shoot hyperdrives out their asses and who are now stated by Disney to be the source of hyperspace travel after having their butts dissected. Now they're trying to claim holocrons were made by using the brains of these space whales. Hyperspace travel and holocrons, what were once achievements of intense research and ingenuity are now the result of simply extracting the magic prostate and brain cells of fart huffing space whale. What's next? Were the first lightsabers created by using the poop of these things?

@Ginger Piglet any thoughts on this?

 

[The handsome tard]

It's telling that using a 16 bit era plot twist that in and of itself is quite old would've made a better finale than what we got.

I mean, shit at this point I could probably get my dogs to write a better story, and none of them can read.

Well lets face it, FF 4 is a damn good game for a reason (in fact the 16 bit trilogy is my favorite of the franchise, tho it doesnt mean I hate the others before someone thinks I do so). The story of an evil person taking the path of embetterment towards the light (unlike Vader who needed his son, Kyle's path would be mostly on his own) is very relatable and while it has traits of Vader's redemption, its not a carbon copy of it. It simply shows that Skywalkers may go dark but they can never be beyond returning back to the light side. As I said, the trilogy should have put more focus on Ben's origins, as in, make them more understandable than just "mean uncle tried to kill me so Im gonna be evil now". You would think that Ben had no choice but to go with the darkside given how in Ep 7 he feels the "pull of the light", which obviously shows he possibly didnt go towards this path willingly and might even know what he does is wrong.
Im getting tired of coming up with more interesting shit than millionary writers. We gotta work on creating our own entertainment and mythology now (with blackjacks and hookers) because these assholes dont deserve to decide whats "canon" and what isnt.

 

[BipolarPon]

More timeline bs and a graph about Starkiller revealing that only its midsection was altered, everything else was still natural and were using jedi crystals to harvest star energy... The smoldering remains
width="371px"]1077512[/ATTACH]
Yes these are Filoni's space whales that I've mentioned before who tentacle raped Thrawn, can shoot hyperdrives out their asses and who are now stated by Disney to be the source of hyperspace travel after having their butts dissected. Now they're trying to claim holocrons were made by using the brains of these space whales. Hyperspace travel and holocrons, what were once achievements of intense research and ingenuity are now the result of simply extracting the magic prostate and brain cells of a space whale.

@Ginger Piglet any thoughts on this?

This is why I don't want Filoni to be the head of Star Wars, he's an improvement over Ku Klux Kennedy, but I dont't want Ahsoka, Rex, Space Aladdin, Hondo be the center of the universe while he humilates my favorite characthers.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Well, the 2020s have arrived. I hope this decade isn’t as bad as the 2010s was for the franchise.

 

[The handsome tard]

This is why I don't wabt Filoni to be the head 9f Star Wars, he's an improvement over Ku Klux Kennedy, but I dont't want Ahsoka, Rex, Space Aladdin, Hondo be the center of the universe while he humilates my favorite characthers.

Im okay with Clone Wars characters, I for one dont hate Ahsoka like some here do (but Im not a Filoni ass licker of course), but I want the other two series's characters just gone.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Here's Snoke's shitty bio from the dictionary along with more timeline shit. They're still trying to push the whole "not a sith" angle for him even though there's no more reason to since he's a shitty sith clone and we have a whole galaxy full of siths now and a sith monkey. The shitty book also tries to claim that his death was always planned and that he was created to mold and train the next sith lord who would kill him as his final test, so Snoke is a mindless meat puppet. Also this whole thing is made all the more irrelevant since Rey is the one who kills him, not the sith trainee Kylo Ren who Hidalgo used to deny was not a sith in any way or in training. This whole guide is just one big mess that makes an even bigger disaster out of Disney's awful new continuity.
View attachment 1077466View attachment 1077482

More timeline bs and a graph about Starkiller revealing that only its midsection was altered, everything else was still natural and were using jedi crystals to harvest star energy... The smoldering remains of Starkiller were renamed Solo... Wow... Reminder that this was once Ilum, a sacred jedi world from old lore popularized Genndy Wars that was the biggest source of lightsaber crystals. Gotta make sure nothing of the jedi remains so Rey can make her own jedi lore.
View attachment 1077475

Mustafar is no longer inhabited by familiar aliens, specifically the Mustafarians from the prequels. Instead its now inhabited by "Alazmec" who, according to this dictionary, are one of the many species who worship the sith who have come to pay respects at Darth Vader's shitty tuning fork castle which is now in ruins and has a fucking forest over it. The planet now has forests and the nu-aliens there use primitive wooden clubs that have high tech embedded in them.
View attachment 1077495
Note despite the trees being called "ironwood" they're not actually iron. If you're going to make Mustafar such a shadow of its former self why not just make a new planet you hacks? Also, not only are the Sith Eternal immeasurable in numbers and more influential than ever, but even civilians revere and remember the sith more than the jedi... Wow. What a victory...

The guide also claims that theses shitty not-Holocrons were designed based on the brains of magic colorful Space Whales from Aladdin's Rebels.
View attachment 1077509View attachment 1077512
Yes these are Filoni's space whales that I've mentioned before who tentacle raped Thrawn, can shoot hyperdrives out their asses and who are now stated by Disney to be the source of hyperspace travel after having their butts dissected. Now they're trying to claim holocrons were made by using the brains of these space whales. Hyperspace travel and holocrons, what were once achievements of intense research and ingenuity are now the result of simply extracting the magic prostate and brain cells of fart huffing space whale. What's next? Were the first lightsabers created by using the poop of these things?

@Ginger Piglet any thoughts on this?

I did have, but they were so stupid and autistic that the rest of my brain exiled them before I had an aneurysm.

Also, Clouzon 36? The thing about space is that, well, it's empty. It's not a complete vacuum because that's impossible but it's for the most part very, very, empty. Would be better to say that these whales evolved to ingest interstellar hydrogen and deuterium and fuse them into helium-3 to create enough energy to pop open a hole in the STC. But no. Better to say they have magic farts.

(Not all that far fetched actually. If in real life there can be a naturally occuring nuclear reactor in West Africa, there can be lifeforms capable of nuclear reactions. Considering the against-the-grain chemistry that goes on in "normal" lifeforms, like photosynthesis, which involves creating energy from sunlight and CO2 and releasing oxygen, which is one of the hardest chemical bonds to break energy-wise (I think it may be the hardest, either it or the triple-bond in diatomic nitrogen) it's something I can get behind.)

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

This is why I don't want Filoni to be the head of Star Wars, he's an improvement over Ku Klux Kennedy, but I dont't want Ahsoka, Rex, Space Aladdin, Hondo be the center of the universe while he humilates my favorite characthers.

He isn't disrespectful to the original characters. He isn't bad at crafting new ones it seems...

But, he tends to not be a follower of "kill your darlings."

He falls in love way too much with his own characters. I mean Ashoka should be dead, given a proper death.

But, he just can't let that bitch die. He certainly works best in a collabrative enviroment..

Although, Ashoka, Bridger, and Thrawn(and space anus)could be a way to write out 7-9...

But, that means you have to tie them into Mandalorian...