Food You're Not Really Sure Anyone Even Buys

[Jason Wynn]

Potted meat/meat spread. Just sounds vile on so many levels. I've never seen anyone actually buy a fifty cent can of potted meat spread.

 

[CWCchange]

Red Baron Pizza. Can you even differentiate between the cardboard box and the pizza itself?

 

[Botchy Galoop]

Capers.
Not only do I not have a clue what they are used for, but I actually have a jar in my cupboard that I have no memory of buying.

 

[W00K #17]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

Spam is great ice fishing food. Heat up over the kerosene heater grate then toast a grilled cheese with it.

When you're drunk and stoned and have been staring at a tiny hole in a frozen lake all day it will taste like heaven. And get your stomach right.

 

[Dysnomia]

People like this get that shit.

Spoiler: Not Safe for life

I never get people buying pre packaged frozen vegetables. They all taste like nothing, turn to mush, and are generally more expensive than getting fresh stuff that always tastes better.

My family got this from a food bank and no one wanted it. So I decided to open it up. It was pretty well intact and I was able to get meat and some broth from it. It wasn't bad at all. Just messy. Of course this was the 90s and maybe the product sucks now. I hear it's either discontinued or really hard to find in most states.

I would not intentionally buy it. But if you somehow end up with one you could use it to make soup. It's not a total loss. Just don't stupidly buy a chicken in a can just to see what the fuss is about.

I used to eat the Sue Bee chicken and dumplings all the time as a kid. But I think those are discontinued and have been for some time.

I used to live on frozen vegetables, ground meat, ruce, eggs and various spices and sauces. Those Walmart brand bags are decent for the price. I found myself prefering the broccolli stalks after awhile because they felt like they had more substance. I did buy fresh. But only when the price was down. It's much harder to get to a decent store now.

 

[Feline Supremacist]

You can find this in Mexican markets, People buy it and eat it.

Huitlacoche or as it's called in the USA, corn smut. People claim it tastes good although I'm not interested in finding out.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Capers.
Not only do I not have a clue what they are used for, but I actually have a jar in my cupboard that I have no memory of buying.

Capers are delightful if used correctly. I remember seeing them for the first time and thinking they looked like boogers, but when I made my first chicken picatta, they're indispensable. They have a wonderful bright vinegar, briny sort of flavor that really brightens things up. You pair it with lemon and they're amazing. Also, cream cheese and lox bagels. Don't ever have those without capers and chives. You won't regret the adventure.

I used to eat the Sue Bee chicken and dumplings all the time as a kid. But I think those are discontinued and have been for some time.

Oh, no, Sue Bee's Chicken and Dumplings are alive and well. It's my go to treat when I'm not feeling well. It could be just where I live, but I never have trouble finding them. They're usually in the section with the tinned fish and chicken and chili and stuff like that.

 

[sadbird]

My family got this from a food bank and no one wanted it. So I decided to open it up. It was pretty well intact and I was able to get meat and some broth from it. It wasn't bad at all. Just messy. Of course this was the 90s and maybe the product sucks now. I hear it's either discontinued or really hard to find in most states.

I would not intentionally buy it. But if you somehow end up with one you could use it to make soup. It's not a total loss. Just don't stupidly buy a chicken in a can just to see what the fuss is about.

I used to eat the Sue Bee chicken and dumplings all the time as a kid. But I think those are discontinued and have been for some time.

I used to live on frozen vegetables, ground meat, ruce, eggs and various spices and sauces. Those Walmart brand bags are decent for the price. I found myself prefering the broccolli stalks after awhile because they felt like they had more substance. I did buy fresh. But only when the price was down. It's much harder to get to a decent store now.

Not sure what the problem is with them. Frozen vegetables are good if not better in some instances as far as nutrients go which, depending on what it is will be lost over time sitting out- and most certainly better quality compared to their canned counterparts in my faggot gay opinion (and they're great for saving money, fatties take note) But I think in the same regard as some have said, they each suit a different "need" I think- in that the various textures (and often flavors) get dramatically altered depending on how it's packed.

Circus peanuts on the other hand, are only eaten by the most repugnant, scum sucking bottom feeder 'human' beings skittering out from their liminal spaces to provide a market for these disgusting things. Who fucking eats these.

 

[Orion Balls]

Potted meat/meat spread. Just sounds vile on so many levels. I've never seen anyone actually buy a fifty cent can of potted meat spread.

I had an exceptional roommate who used to eat nothing BUT potted meat. And, based on his smell and general texture, he also used it as pomade. Spam was banned in our house, because of my Grandfather. He refused to "ever eat that garbage again."

 

[Un Platano]

Circus peanuts on the other hand, are only eaten by the most repugnant, scum sucking bottom feeder 'human' beings skittering out from their liminal spaces to provide a market for these disgusting things. Who fucking eats these.

You could fill up a whole thread just talking about shit candies that shouldn't exist, there's so many of them. My personal biggest "WHY" candy is Necco Wafers. They were invented during the Mexican-American war and they have no business being produced well into the 21st century. The answer as to who eats all the terrible old candy is pretty simple though. It's all old people because it reminds them of when they were a kid and all the candy sucked.

As far as who was eating Necco Wafers, the answer actually was nobody, and they went out of business in July of 2018. Unfortunately the rights to produce Necco Wafers are now owned by the Spangler Candy Company, who are responsible for inventing circus peanuts and thus lack the dignity to cease production of these horrible things.

 

[Tour of Italy]

Red Baron Pizza. Can you even differentiate between the cardboard box and the pizza itself?

Red Baron is far and fucking away the best value for your dollar of the frozen pizzas.

Tombstone is inedible garbage but Red Baron is actually quite pleasant for the money.

I’d get a Red Baron for $4 (less on sale) before any of the hipster boutique brands or the sloppy mess that is DiGiorno. I’ve never had a DiGiorno that didn’t end up slimy at the dough/sauce interface.

Hell, RB it’s far better than store brand and almost always costs less. Red Baron is the working man’s pizza. Herr Richthofen would have been fucking proud to end up on that box.

So to answer the question “who even buys that”: sane people everywhere who just want a tasty back up meal.

If you haven’t had the kind with the brick oven crust, it’s also delightful.

 

[Caesare]

I like jalapeños on pizza, but pineapple is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I know it's become a Facebook tier 'AMIRITE XDDD' meme but it's well-deserved.

My favorite pizza is pineapple, jalapeno, ham, and bacon. It's delicious.

Potted meat/meat spread. Just sounds vile on so many levels. I've never seen anyone actually buy a fifty cent can of potted meat spread.

I remember liking it as a very young child, eating it spread on crackers. That's the last time I had it, I had forgotten all about potted meat.

 

[Orion Balls]

You could fill up a whole thread just talking about shit candies that shouldn't exist, there's so many of them. My personal biggest "WHY" candy is Necco Wafers. They were invented during the Mexican-American war and they have no business being produced well into the 21st century. The answer as to who eats all the terrible old candy is pretty simple though. It's all old people because it reminds them of when they were a kid and all the candy sucked.

As far as who was eating Necco Wafers, the answer actually was nobody, and they went out of business in July of 2018. Unfortunately the rights to produce Necco Wafers are now owned by the Spangler Candy Company, who are responsible for inventing circus peanuts and thus lack the dignity to cease production of these horrible things.

I only have one case of Necco Wafers left. They had better get production up and running, soon. Spangler bought a lot of New England Confection's recipes, so, I expect I'll get my Squirrel Nut Zippers and Mary Janes back again soon, as well. Here's hoping!

 

[sadbird]

If you haven’t had the kind with the brick oven crust, it’s also delightful.

I would refrain from calling any frozen pizza "delightful", because that's just factually incorrect

 

[GeorgiaGuidestones]

I have a friend who ate these and got food poisoning. I always thought that shit would survive a nuclear war. My FIL eats them like they’re candy.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I like Spam veryoccasionally. Pan fried and slathered in mustard and it’s a suitable winter comfort food for me.

My family got this from a food bank and no one wanted it. So I decided to open it up. It was pretty well intact and I was able to get meat and some broth from it. It wasn't bad at all. Just messy. Of course this was the 90s and maybe the product sucks now. I hear it's either discontinued or really hard to find in most states.

I would not intentionally buy it. But if you somehow end up with one you could use it to make soup. It's not a total loss. Just don't stupidly buy a chicken in a can just to see what the fuss is about.

I used to eat the Sue Bee chicken and dumplings all the time as a kid. But I think those are discontinued and have been for some time.

I used to live on frozen vegetables, ground meat, ruce, eggs and various spices and sauces. Those Walmart brand bags are decent for the price. I found myself prefering the broccolli stalks after awhile because they felt like they had more substance. I did buy fresh. But only when the price was down. It's much harder to get to a decent store now.

I see those Sue Bee chicken and dumplings in Big Lots all the time. I r also seen whole chicken in a can at Sam’s Club of all places. I think it was like $7? I’d take a rotisserie for the same price.

I don’t know who the fuck buys Twizzlers. It wouldn’t appeal to people that like salted licorice, and my licorice hating ass hated the fun size ones I got in my Halloween buckets. Also get skivved out by pig knuckles and hard boiled eggs at gas stations. Hard boiled eggs themselves are fine, but gas station ones are always in some sort of liquid and look like a science experiment.

I know exactly one person that ate Chicken in a Basket crackers, plus precisely one non Catholic that liked the Filet o Fish.

 

[Paul Barker!]

I have a friend who ate these and got food poisoning. I always thought that shit would survive a nuclear war. My FIL eats them like they’re candy. View attachment 1086232

Lol I had a teacher who used to give these out for people’s birthdays. I ate one once for the minor shock value and it just tasted like what I imagine those uncooked lil cocktail dogs would taste like

 

[Bassomatic]

I have a friend who ate these and got food poisoning. I always thought that shit would survive a nuclear war. My FIL eats them like they’re candy. View attachment 1086232

You must not camp.

They are so gross but take them throw with a can of beans and half a jar of fire tinder thrown in. Yum! Well... hiked 15 miles so anything is good. Aside that, they make better mini pigs in blanket than anything, otherwise yeah gross.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I have a friend who ate these and got food poisoning. I always thought that shit would survive a nuclear war. My FIL eats them like they’re candy. View attachment 1086232

My dad likes these. This was one of those foods I remember thinking was okay, but not my first choice, as a kid. Adult me finds them super gross. Similar deal with bologna. I think I turned 8 and suddenly found it revolting.

 

[CrystalRoserade]

I know exactly one person that ate Chicken in a Basket crackers, plus precisely one non Catholic that liked the Filet o Fish.

I actually unironically like Chicken in a Biskit. Fight me.

Aside from that... who the fuck buys that Cherry Mash stuff? I see it at either Crest or Walmart every so often and I always wonder who even buys it for it to be by the cash registers.