Lolcow Melinda Leigh Scott & Marshall Castersen - Sue-happy couple. Flat earth conspiracists. Pretending to be Jewish. Believe Kiwi Farms is protected by the Masonic Order. 0-6 on lawsuits. Marshall is dead.

[Jaded Optimist]

You can't die of an illness if you follow Torah.

Everyone remember this when @Marshall-Law gets cancer.

 

[GethN7]

You can't die of an illness if you follow Torah.

We're mortals who were cursed to short lives, pain, and death according to that very text, at least for our temporal bodies, yes illness can kill you you no matter how devout you are.

 

[TamarYaelBatYah]

@TamarYaelBatYah Have you ever had anal sex?

Only on Wednesdays with Marshall between 8:15 and 9:00

 

[Baby Yoda]

Only on Wednesdays with Marshall between 8:15 and 9:00

Oh okay. Nice.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Lady, not everything in the world needs to follow Torah. I think God will give you some leeway for not doing EXACTLY as he says. Apparently he forgives headlocks and frivolous litigation, so I think he's fine with me calling someone a twit.

Jews have a lot of fun insults, and that's before you get into Yiddish. Hebrew has a lot of fun ways to tell someone to fuck themselves for instance.

 

[TamarYaelBatYah]

I'm going to laugh anyways. These people are dumber than the typical lolcow that suffers from some form of autism.


See, this is what I mean. You're not Jewish. You just like to play pretend.

Are you an Ultra Orthodox, Orthodox or Conservative Jew? They are usually the ones running around screaming about people needing paperwork to be called "Jewish"

 

[Shaka Brah]

Lady, not everything in the world needs to follow Torah. I think God will give you some leeway for not doing EXACTLY as he says. Apparently he forgives headlocks and frivolous litigation, so I think I'm OK to have a Twinkie now and again.

I mean, yeah. Part of the point of Christ's sacrifice and fulfilling the old laws was to make up for the fact that mankind is fallen and perfect loyalty to the law is impossible. So instead of turning into these guys and perverting the Torah to justify bad behavior God wants you to own up, confess to him with contrition, and be better.

 

[KookiesNKreem]

Jews have a lot of fun insults, and that's before you get into Yiddish. Hebrew has a lot of fun ways to tell someone to fuck themselves for instance.

If god didn't have a sense of humor, he wouldn't have made people like this. Imagine a god being petty enough to send someone to eternal damnation because they called a crazy woman a loon on the internet.

 

[redcent]

Your question contains your answer. The Torah says to take herbs for medicine. "I give you every seed bearing plant for sustenance" (Genesis 1:29). So, if you aren't including herbs and plants on your diet, you aren't following Torah

But neither opiates or tobacco or marijuana provide sustenance.

What about poisonous seed bearing plants like say fox-glove? You gonna eat that just cause it's a plant?

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

If god didn't have a sense of humor, he wouldn't have made people like this. Imagine a god being petty enough to send someone to eternal damnation because they called a crazy woman a loon on the internet.

Jews also have fun names for certain body parts that you can use as insults. Such as כוסאומו which you could easily call Marshal and be correct.

Are you an Ultra Orthodox, Orthodox or Conservative Jew? They are usually the ones running around screaming about people needing paperwork to be called "Jewish"

Nope, I'm Buddhist. My fiancee is Jewish though. I however know more about the Jewish people than you.

 

[Shaka Brah]

If god didn't have a sense of humor, he wouldn't have made people like this. Imagine a god being petty enough to send someone to eternal damnation because they called a crazy woman a loon on the internet.

Molinists: "Well, God might or might not foreknow things."
Me, a Lolcowist: "God foreknew these people would be crazy and we're allowed to enjoy it."

 

[TamarYaelBatYah]

If god didn't have a sense of humor, he wouldn't have made people like this. Imagine a god being petty enough to send someone to eternal damnation because they called a crazy woman a loon on the internet.

Why did Elohim create the black widow spider?

 

[GethN7]

Why did Elohim create the black widow spider?

Because's He's greater than us, has His own logic, and it's not our place to question it. Personally, I don't know why, I can wait for the answers though.

 

[Deadpool]

You can't die of an illness if you follow Torah.

Well fuck someone call all the Hospitals in Israel and tell them to shut that shit down. All the people can go home because an incredibly stupid fake Jew said they're not sick.

 

[TamarYaelBatYah]

But neither opiates or tobacco or marijuana provide sustenance.

What about poisonous seed bearing plants like say fox-glove? You gonna eat that just cause it's a plant?

Marijuana certainly is for sustenance. It manages your endocrine system. Tobacco soothes the nerves

Poisonous plants that only poison if taken internally are good for dyes

 

[KookiesNKreem]

Because's He's greater than us, has His own logic, and it's not our place to question it. Personally, I don't know why, I can wait for the answers though.

Funny enough, the same reasoning applies to "why did god create Melinda and Marshall".

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Because's He's greater than us, has His own logic, and it's not our place to question it. Personally, I don't know why, I can wait for the answers though.

My guess is that if there is a god there's a good reason why he started with plants first then went on to create animals. Only a man high on something would create the platypus

 

[Shaka Brah]

Funny enough, the same reasoning applies to "why did god create Melinda and Marshall".

I'd hazard a guess that Eve's poor decision-making is responsible for that one

 

[Rabid Weasels]

Shouldn't you give Andrew his money back? Does Torah have an excuse for this?

 

[Toasty]

Shouldn't you give Andrew his money back? Does Torah have an excuse for this?

"Torah" or at least her warped interpretation of it gives her an excuse for literally every thing she's done in her entire life. I feel like I'm. In fstdt in here.