- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
What is true repentance to you and what needs to be accomplished to have true repentance?
Lolcow Andrew Peter Carlson / Anaiah Carlson / Tamarlover / Xtamarlover - Jewish/Christian Wannabe Cult Leader, Stalker, Ugly af, dogfucker, mayor of spitsville
- Thread starter The Jumping Dwarf
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
I think this is the best review the Farms have ever gotten.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
The main things are purifying myself from sexual sins as well as uncleanness from food. I sometimes eat unhealthy which i feel guilty about. I also have a big problem with food disorder. I dont eat for most of the day and then i stuff myself near the end of the day and feel like crap. Basically i dont eat as often but when i do i overeat and i feel its unhealthy. So those are the main areas i want to improve in. Also i feel like im polluted in my speech. I say fuck all the time now. I never used to. Now i use it heavily. I feel guilty about that. I also want to get to a point where i am content and in self control of my emotions so crazy bitches being evil wont phase me. Thats the goal.
I do have something to post later in regards to your tagged post in the other thread but i want to post it from my computer so ill wait till i get home.
And honestly people its so hard keeping up with mel and mars thread while im working, sheesh! Ive been multitasking today at work. Reading and working at the same time. Very distracting...
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2015
He wants to be in control of his emotions yet won't stop harassing women when they clearly want no part of him. What a simp. Someone should contact his ex and tell her that she stands to make $15,000 from this goof, all she has to do is send him a couple of e-mails a week.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
No the goal is i wont care about the bitches anymore so that i wont even feel the need to talk with them ever again. Thats the ultimate goal of self control where you literally dont seek contact with someone who doesnt want to contact you. Im not there yet but eventually i hope to be
Sukeban
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2019
I finally just now finished reading all 279 pages of this thread and have only this to say:
@xtamarlover, you've done a lot of thinking, but not a lot of living. Every time you start doing some living, like seeing a therapist, getting a job or organizing meetups, things seem to get better for you. It's commendable that your mind is so open. I sincerely believe things will get better for you if you continue gaining life experience and if you follow a financial planner's advice (if you can't afford to retain one, maybe try Dave Ramsey's materials). I look forward to seeing how your future unfolds.
@xtamarlover, you've done a lot of thinking, but not a lot of living. Every time you start doing some living, like seeing a therapist, getting a job or organizing meetups, things seem to get better for you. It's commendable that your mind is so open. I sincerely believe things will get better for you if you continue gaining life experience and if you follow a financial planner's advice (if you can't afford to retain one, maybe try Dave Ramsey's materials). I look forward to seeing how your future unfolds.
Marshall Castersen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2020
I just heard on the grapevine that Andrew got a call from the FBI yesterday. He actually complained about me to them. His biggest complaint against me was I mailed his mother a dildo. The FBI told him it's not against the law to mail his mother a dildo and the FBI agent told him to deal with it.He maintain a profession composer but sounded like he wanted to laugh.
The agent said he could not verify if Andrew's fake profiles were his but he forwarded the info to the department of cyber stalking and will find out who sent the emails.
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2015
I see you're finally admitting your Marshall aka the most obvious thing in the world. The fact you tried to pretend you weren't, despite all of us calling you out on it shows how poorly your inbred brain works.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
Melinda in the other thread said made a list of 12 things about how she is better than me and a list of 9 ways i am worse than her. I just wanted to set the record straight:
Tamar:
1. Married to a man who does not truly seek YHWH and who has an unrepentant soul
2.Has 6 children (Sirach 16:1-3 "Do not desire a multitude of useless children, nor rejoice in ungodly sons. If they multiply, do not rejoice in them, unless the fear of the Lord is in them. Do not trust in their survival, and do not rely on their multitude; for one is better than a thousand, and to die childless is better than to have ungodly children.")
3. Has a bachelor's degree (college degrees are virtually worthless and don't mean much at all about anyone's actual intelligence or value)
4. Doesn't have an arrest warrant hanging over her head (of course only the guilty have arrest warrants? Me having an arrest warrant doesn't mean I am horrible. and besides the great Marshall the most righteous man on earth not only did he have an arrest warrant he actually got sentenced and went to jail for a few months. By that standard Marshall is worse than me)
5. Doesn't use pagans for validation (Marshall is a pagan)
6. Lives set apart and homeschools (lives set apart according to whom? herself. but her life is not truly setapart in any real sense of the meaning; for those who don't know, setapart is the hebrish translation of "holy")
7. Knows the Secrets of The Kingdom (so do I, and besides, many of these secrets that she knows are lies and falsehoods she invented from her own reasoning)
8. Has inner peace (since peace is the arbiter of whether someone is a good person or not apparently?)
9. Never had to be cut by a doctor to birth, always had blessed homebirths (I also have never had a c-section)
10. Has been blessed with intelligence to do many things well (everyone has intelligence they are blessed with and we can all do some things very well even pagans are very wise and smart and talented and blessed in many things they do)
11. Has successfully broken free of toxic family (her family isn't toxic. i have spoken with her family before they are loving and normal down to earth people at least comparatively. she just is overly cruel and harsh with her family. its undeserved)
12. Is TAMIYM (tamiym in hebrish is "perfect". She thinks she is perfect. but we all know she is not actually tamiym but is self-deceived. so many think they are something they are not. just like the Pharisees.
The Stalker:
1. Has no spouse (Proverbs 21:9 "Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.")
2. Has to wack off to evil porn to get sexual needs met (no death penalty in torah for jerking off to porn. There is death penalty for adultery which Messiah identified remarriage after most divorces as adultery)
3. Has no peace in himself because he has to gossip about others and attack others to deflect attention off his own inner turmoil (sounds like Melinda too if we are all being honest)
4. Can't decipher truth from lies / spiritually blind (this is just subjective opinion)
5. Has to use pagans on the Internet for validation (i crave the acceptance and approval of all people if possible, but i know its unrealistic. but i prefer people not to hate me. but anyways, "pagans" are people too, and what they think matters. If they support me or at least support me in preference to my enemy, then that is encouraging and good to have a support group)
6. Lives mixed up with Goy (so do ancient Israelites who are righteous. We need to be there to help the Goy rather than be full of ourselves (besides, I AM a goy too! And the word goy in hebrew just means "nation" when you rbeak down the root meaning. so all people are of the nations including Israel)
7. Has an arrest warrant hanging over his head (Just like my Messiah Jesus who was falsely persecuted and falsely arrested by hateful Jews or in this case pseudo-jews)
8. His family that he wants to love him engulfs him and enables his sickness (i have a loving family who cares for me and likes me)
9. Has an evil mouth (don't we all)
She keep coming back to defend the Torah, but her coming to defend the Torah is actually encouraging people to mock the Torah more in order to get her to come back. Doesn't she realize that she is doing more harm than good by this strategy? Best way to defend the Torah is to leave this site and never come back in my opinion but i guess she will do whatever she wants to do.
I just wanted to say about Esther. Esther wasn't actually bad-ass. She didn't really do much. Her role is very much of a passive traditional caricature of a woman. Now, Judith on the other hand, is a bad-ass:
Just to set the record straight for everyone, since there is some confusion: Me and Melinda were never in a romantic or physical relationship. We were only friends and nothing more. We did talk about the possibility of marriage but it never went beyond that even though I had wanted it to at one time. But all this drama is because she cut off friendship with me over unjustified reasons. Meanwhile Marshall treats her far worse than I treated her as a friend. Yet she makes a million excuses for Marshall. Its ridiculously unfair and unrighteous on her part.
Regarding this: "Somewhere buried in the farms, there are screenshots of Melinda asking The Stalker to stalk one of her exs by posing as some religious Guru who attended the same university as him. "
and Regarding this: "That's not even the right definition of stalking. You're a lunatic. Asking someone to talk one time to someone else on an anonymous profile isn't "stalking". Wow, this group of people is so utterly derranged"
Now let's see what the actual victim of Melinda's actions had to say about it:
If we are consistent, we must conclude that if my behavior was stalking that this same behavior from her also constituted stalking. Its not fair that if she does it its ok but if I do it its so horrible. So this is just hypocrisy on Melinda's part. In reality, its not fair to represent me as a stalker. All I did was find info about her that was publicly available online, and I tried to fight to reconcile our friendship. I didn't threaten violence. But really why whenever I do something, Melinda blows it out of proportion and makes it look like its the most evil thing ever and something she would never do. yet here we see her doing the same thing to her ex. And she even involved me in it by trying to make me spy on him for her many times. It wasn't just a one time thing but it was an ongoing campaign of trying to spy on him that lasted with me involved/helping for a few weeks. If we are to judge whether someone was stalked based on how the person on the receiving end felt, then by that standard, I would be guilty since Melinda felt stalked, and likewise Melinda would be guilty since her ex felt stalked. And as Melinda said, her policy is that men and women should receive the same treatment. So women shouldn't be looked at as less capable of stalking by Melinda's standard.
Also I wish to bring up that when we were friends many years ago, Melinda asked me to help her get revenge by asking me to call a random stranger that I didn't know on the phone and tell this random person who I didn't know something along the lines of "I just want you to know that so and so is cheating on you with another man." I told her no i can't do that i didn't feel morally ok with that. Melinda then at that time accused me of being a bad friend for not helping her get revenge on the person by doing that favor for her.
Marshall the most righteous man she has ever met. I used to be one of the most righteous men she ever met too:
The guy who supposedly tried to murder Melinda did far less than Marshall has. The guy who uspposedly tried to murder her didn't even physically abuse her like at all. There was just one time he put her in a choke of some kind pushing her against the wall. That apparently was him trying to murder her. She got a PO against that guy.
That's why I have to say about that.
Tamar:
1. Married to a man who does not truly seek YHWH and who has an unrepentant soul
2.Has 6 children (Sirach 16:1-3 "Do not desire a multitude of useless children, nor rejoice in ungodly sons. If they multiply, do not rejoice in them, unless the fear of the Lord is in them. Do not trust in their survival, and do not rely on their multitude; for one is better than a thousand, and to die childless is better than to have ungodly children.")
3. Has a bachelor's degree (college degrees are virtually worthless and don't mean much at all about anyone's actual intelligence or value)
4. Doesn't have an arrest warrant hanging over her head (of course only the guilty have arrest warrants? Me having an arrest warrant doesn't mean I am horrible. and besides the great Marshall the most righteous man on earth not only did he have an arrest warrant he actually got sentenced and went to jail for a few months. By that standard Marshall is worse than me)
5. Doesn't use pagans for validation (Marshall is a pagan)
6. Lives set apart and homeschools (lives set apart according to whom? herself. but her life is not truly setapart in any real sense of the meaning; for those who don't know, setapart is the hebrish translation of "holy")
7. Knows the Secrets of The Kingdom (so do I, and besides, many of these secrets that she knows are lies and falsehoods she invented from her own reasoning)
8. Has inner peace (since peace is the arbiter of whether someone is a good person or not apparently?)
9. Never had to be cut by a doctor to birth, always had blessed homebirths (I also have never had a c-section)
10. Has been blessed with intelligence to do many things well (everyone has intelligence they are blessed with and we can all do some things very well even pagans are very wise and smart and talented and blessed in many things they do)
11. Has successfully broken free of toxic family (her family isn't toxic. i have spoken with her family before they are loving and normal down to earth people at least comparatively. she just is overly cruel and harsh with her family. its undeserved)
12. Is TAMIYM (tamiym in hebrish is "perfect". She thinks she is perfect. but we all know she is not actually tamiym but is self-deceived. so many think they are something they are not. just like the Pharisees.
The Stalker:
1. Has no spouse (Proverbs 21:9 "Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.")
2. Has to wack off to evil porn to get sexual needs met (no death penalty in torah for jerking off to porn. There is death penalty for adultery which Messiah identified remarriage after most divorces as adultery)
3. Has no peace in himself because he has to gossip about others and attack others to deflect attention off his own inner turmoil (sounds like Melinda too if we are all being honest)
4. Can't decipher truth from lies / spiritually blind (this is just subjective opinion)
5. Has to use pagans on the Internet for validation (i crave the acceptance and approval of all people if possible, but i know its unrealistic. but i prefer people not to hate me. but anyways, "pagans" are people too, and what they think matters. If they support me or at least support me in preference to my enemy, then that is encouraging and good to have a support group)
6. Lives mixed up with Goy (so do ancient Israelites who are righteous. We need to be there to help the Goy rather than be full of ourselves (besides, I AM a goy too! And the word goy in hebrew just means "nation" when you rbeak down the root meaning. so all people are of the nations including Israel)
7. Has an arrest warrant hanging over his head (Just like my Messiah Jesus who was falsely persecuted and falsely arrested by hateful Jews or in this case pseudo-jews)
8. His family that he wants to love him engulfs him and enables his sickness (i have a loving family who cares for me and likes me)
9. Has an evil mouth (don't we all)
She keep coming back to defend the Torah, but her coming to defend the Torah is actually encouraging people to mock the Torah more in order to get her to come back. Doesn't she realize that she is doing more harm than good by this strategy? Best way to defend the Torah is to leave this site and never come back in my opinion but i guess she will do whatever she wants to do.
I just wanted to say about Esther. Esther wasn't actually bad-ass. She didn't really do much. Her role is very much of a passive traditional caricature of a woman. Now, Judith on the other hand, is a bad-ass:
Just to set the record straight for everyone, since there is some confusion: Me and Melinda were never in a romantic or physical relationship. We were only friends and nothing more. We did talk about the possibility of marriage but it never went beyond that even though I had wanted it to at one time. But all this drama is because she cut off friendship with me over unjustified reasons. Meanwhile Marshall treats her far worse than I treated her as a friend. Yet she makes a million excuses for Marshall. Its ridiculously unfair and unrighteous on her part.
Regarding this: "Somewhere buried in the farms, there are screenshots of Melinda asking The Stalker to stalk one of her exs by posing as some religious Guru who attended the same university as him. "
and Regarding this: "That's not even the right definition of stalking. You're a lunatic. Asking someone to talk one time to someone else on an anonymous profile isn't "stalking". Wow, this group of people is so utterly derranged"
Now let's see what the actual victim of Melinda's actions had to say about it:
If we are consistent, we must conclude that if my behavior was stalking that this same behavior from her also constituted stalking. Its not fair that if she does it its ok but if I do it its so horrible. So this is just hypocrisy on Melinda's part. In reality, its not fair to represent me as a stalker. All I did was find info about her that was publicly available online, and I tried to fight to reconcile our friendship. I didn't threaten violence. But really why whenever I do something, Melinda blows it out of proportion and makes it look like its the most evil thing ever and something she would never do. yet here we see her doing the same thing to her ex. And she even involved me in it by trying to make me spy on him for her many times. It wasn't just a one time thing but it was an ongoing campaign of trying to spy on him that lasted with me involved/helping for a few weeks. If we are to judge whether someone was stalked based on how the person on the receiving end felt, then by that standard, I would be guilty since Melinda felt stalked, and likewise Melinda would be guilty since her ex felt stalked. And as Melinda said, her policy is that men and women should receive the same treatment. So women shouldn't be looked at as less capable of stalking by Melinda's standard.
Also I wish to bring up that when we were friends many years ago, Melinda asked me to help her get revenge by asking me to call a random stranger that I didn't know on the phone and tell this random person who I didn't know something along the lines of "I just want you to know that so and so is cheating on you with another man." I told her no i can't do that i didn't feel morally ok with that. Melinda then at that time accused me of being a bad friend for not helping her get revenge on the person by doing that favor for her.
Marshall the most righteous man she has ever met. I used to be one of the most righteous men she ever met too:
The guy who supposedly tried to murder Melinda did far less than Marshall has. The guy who uspposedly tried to murder her didn't even physically abuse her like at all. There was just one time he put her in a choke of some kind pushing her against the wall. That apparently was him trying to murder her. She got a PO against that guy.
That's why I have to say about that.
I just heard on the grapevine that Andrew got a call from the FBI yesterday. He actually complained about me to them. His biggest complaint against me was I mailed his mother a dildo. The FBI told him it's not against the law to mail his mother a dildo and the FBI agent told him to deal with it.He maintain a profession composer but sounded like he wanted to laugh.
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2017
I just heard on the grapevine that Andrew got a call from the FBI yesterday. He actually complained about me to them. His biggest complaint against me was I mailed his mother a dildo. The FBI told him it's not against the law to mail his mother a dildo and the FBI agent told him to deal with it.He maintain a profession composer but sounded like he wanted to laugh.
What a pussy thing to do. You try to make yourself sound like a badass street-fightin' tough guy, and the most intimidating thing you can think of is to mail a dude's mother a dildo? That's something a very dumb and very pussy skinnyfat manlet beaner would do. Get back to us when you actually manage to scare someone.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
STFU you LARPing fat fuck. Stop spreading disinformation like the 5'2 Jewish manlet that you are. There is no "Department of Cyber Stalking"I just heard on the grapevine that Andrew got a call from the FBI yesterday. He actually complained about me to them. His biggest complaint against me was I mailed his mother a dildo. The FBI told him it's not against the law to mail his mother a dildo and the FBI agent told him to deal with it.He maintain a profession composer but sounded like he wanted to laugh.
Youre a LARPing manlet and a piece of shit who has stolen valor pretending to be a member of the Russian intelligence services and a US veteran at the same time. In light of everything that has happened with Iran and Russia over the past couple days how the fuck can someone be so sick as to throw their own country under the bus? You're a disgusting Jewish beaner who sells out the soul of the USA for a shekel of silver.
Marshall Castersen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2020
I was trained by ex russian Special forces who are the best in the world. That patch I earned and is my achievement for my training. Its equivalent to a black belt. I care not about politics or world affairs. Russian Spetnaz are the best hand to hand combat practitioners across the earth. I am honored to receive their training. It's so good the CIA hired russian defectors to train their field agents. You think Jason Bourn is good on in the movies? I can do that in real life. Killing is a art.
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2015
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
This is how I and the rest of Kiwi Farmers here feel in the last 48 hours:
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2019
Holy crap, I thought andrew was one of the weirdest and most autistic cows here but then an incredibly stupid orangutan shows up and andrew starts dunking like a kiwi, what a great start to 2020
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
I think this time is different and she's gone for good. Here's my victory dance:
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2015
He's probably gone because he realised that he was officially outed as Marshall and that means every single person in this thread is smarter then him. The faggot had to hide behind a fake persona because of how badly he knew he would get owned. Lol, for fuck's sake he couldnt even defend his "wife" under his real name. Goes to show what he thinks about her.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2017
Hey guys. Random aside. Is Cato dead? He hasn't signed on in over 3 months.
Sukeban
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2019
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Okay, so you're now picking on a developmentally disabled lunatic by making fake and gay calls that can get you and the hole in trouble for wasting resources and with evidence proving you provoke him as much as he does it on his own too.I just heard on the grapevine that Andrew got a call from the FBI yesterday. He actually complained about me to them. His biggest complaint against me was I mailed his mother a dildo. The FBI told him it's not against the law to mail his mother a dildo and the FBI agent told him to deal with it.He maintain a profession composer but sounded like he wanted to laugh.
Such cowardice, such bitchbabiness. Wow.