Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Apteryx Owenii]

But what is this nonsense about dead-and-dissected animal gifs? Who does this? We don't. Even Hitler loved his dogs. He must have fetched up on some rotten.com type site, seen something terrible and come to the conclusion that all bad people are on the same side.

Or he's making shit up.

I suspect he's talking about the chans or shock sites like you mention. I think even ED had cringey stuff like that on their shock pages (I can't keep up with whatever drama happened there recently). But that's Jake's MO- he actively seeks out the most disgusting stuff he can and then whines about it, even though it's generally only in places you find yourself in by searching for it.

It's like the busybody Karen that looks up the nearest smut theater in a run-down part of town where no one goes except to jerk off and then tries to start a protest about it... for the children. Except Jake would go in and watch all the movies and tweet about how it's terrible that such places exist to show bouncing boobies (that are almost as big as his) and smooth thin skin of women which is definitely what he is working towards and he'll just have to go back tomorrow for more research even though it's giving him nightmares.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

I suspect he's talking about the chans or shock sites like you mention. I think even ED had cringey stuff like that on their shock pages (I can't keep up with whatever drama happened there recently). But that's Jake's MO- he actively seeks out the most disgusting stuff he can and then whines about it, even though it's generally only in places you find yourself in by searching for it.

It's like the busybody Karen that looks up the nearest smut theater in a run-down part of town where no one goes except to jerk off and then tries to start a protest about it... for the children. Except Jake would go in and watch all the movies and tweet about how it's terrible that such places exist to show bouncing boobies (that are almost as big as his) and smooth thin skin of women which is definitely what he is working towards and he'll just have to go back tomorrow for more research even though it's giving him nightmares.

That's pretty close but I think gnomeTax requires the usage of nazi every few tweets and bonus points if its a full-on nazi

 

[Kamov Ka-52]

think even ED had cringey stuff like that on their shock pages.

Yes, the "offended" article had a ton of gore and shock images and .gifs, at least back in the day.

 

[valis]

View attachment 1088319

It's far too late now but I really wish we'd kept a counter of the number of times he's admitted to looking at child porn and tried to excuse himself by saying nazis made him do it.

 

[Kosher Dill]

and bonus points if its a full-on nazi

I ran a search for all occurrences of "full-on" in Jake's twitter, and now we can answer the question: What can be "full-on" in Gnomish? In descending order of frequency:

Nazis/Neo-Nazis/Nazism: 13
Terrorists/Terrorism: 4
Gamergaters: 3
Racism/White Supremacism: 2
Gamergaters' disavowal of Gamergate: 1
Fascists: 1
Propaganda: 1
Hypothetically starving himself: 1
TERFs: 1
Putative objects of gender dysphoria, nonexistence of: 1
Sex ed: 1
IP spoofing: 1
Twitter's deputization of CON: 1
Scientific papers on gender: 1
Gun bans: 1
Treason: 1
Witch hunts: 1
A horror movie protagonist's glimpse of the monster: 1
Posthuman Studios' explicit embrace of leftism: 1
Mass Effect canon: 1
Criminality of hidden-camera shows: 1
Taking Jace "Commander Stryker" Connors at his word: 1
The degree to which Brianna Wu should "unplug" after the Commander's street racing assassination attempt: 1
The degree to which "The Massive vs. the Masses" consumed two rooms of his mom's house: 1

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

I ran a search for all occurrences of "full-on" in Jake's twitter, and now we can answer the question: What can be "full-on" in Gnomish? In descending order of frequency:

Nazis/Neo-Nazis/Nazism: 13
Terrorists/Terrorism: 4
Gamergaters: 3
Racism/White Supremacism: 2
Gamergaters' disavowal of Gamergate: 1
Fascists: 1
Propaganda: 1
Hypothetically starving himself: 1
TERFs: 1
Putative objects of gender dysphoria, nonexistence of: 1
Sex ed: 1
IP spoofing: 1
Twitter's deputization of CON: 1
Scientific papers on gender: 1
Gun bans: 1
Treason: 1
Witch hunts: 1
A horror movie protagonist's glimpse of the monster: 1
Posthuman Studios' explicit embrace of leftism: 1
Mass Effect canon: 1
Criminality of hidden-camera shows: 1
Taking Jace "Commander Stryker" Connors at his word: 1
The degree to which Brianna Wu should "unplug" after the Commander's street racing assassination attempt: 1
The degree to which "The Massive vs. the Masses" consumed two rooms of his mom's house: 1

I was wondering if there were extra-extra full-on bonus points if you could find something besides nazi that was full-on, thanks for yon research

 

[AnOminous]

"Just quit with all the terrorism already."

Just quit Googleshnging all the time and you'll stop being mocked for Googleshnging all the time.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Jake suspects, correctly, that everyone despises him. "And while that's definitely the exception and not the rule with these things, it's also standard operating procedure whenever any sort of abusive relationship comes to an end" - Dude, what?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Let's Learn Gnomish
Lesson 2: Damn Near
What can be damn near? In descending order of frequency:

Damn near everyone (x10)
Damn near every [consumer media] (x5)
Damn near every trans person (x3)
Damn near every day (x2)
Damn near everyone I know (x2)
Damn near a 50/50 split
Damn near a year ago
Damn near all of the above [RPG activities]
Damn near any random person off the street
Damn near anyone
Damn near anyone else
Damn near anything
Damn near daily basis
Damn near every inch of column space
Damn near every media outlet and game developer
Damn near every possible context
Damn near every post
Damn near every single GG twitter account
Damn near every single person I follow
Damn near every single woman to ever work in the industry
Damn near every time
Damn near every trans-supportive cis person
Damn near every way [of trans-coding a character]
Damn near every woman
Damn near everyone I cared about
Damn near everyone I've ever trusted
Damn near everyone's [RPG] world
Damn near everything
Damn near had my head bitten off
Damn near immediately
Damn near impossible
Damn near positive
Damn near shouting
Damn near superhuman
Damn near totally locked out
Damn near universal
Damn near walked into the ocean

It's funny how filtering things through Jake's catchphrases distills his life down to the essentials.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Let's Learn Gnomish
Lesson 2: Damn Near
What can be damn near? In descending order of frequency:

Damn near everyone (x10)
Damn near every [consumer media] (x5)
Damn near every trans person (x3)
Damn near every day (x2)
Damn near everyone I know (x2)
Damn near a 50/50 split
Damn near a year ago
Damn near all of the above [RPG activities]
Damn near any random person off the street
Damn near anyone
Damn near anyone else
Damn near anything
Damn near daily basis
Damn near every inch of column space
Damn near every media outlet and game developer
Damn near every possible context
Damn near every post
Damn near every single GG twitter account
Damn near every single person I follow
Damn near every single woman to ever work in the industry
Damn near every time
Damn near every trans-supportive cis person
Damn near every way [of trans-coding a character]
Damn near every woman
Damn near everyone I cared about
Damn near everyone I've ever trusted
Damn near everyone's [RPG] world
Damn near everything
Damn near had my head bitten off
Damn near immediately
Damn near impossible
Damn near positive
Damn near shouting
Damn near superhuman
Damn near totally locked out
Damn near universal
Damn near walked into the ocean

It's funny how filtering things through Jake's catchphrases distills his life down to the essentials.

I always wondered why his head was only hanging by a thread.

 

[Walter Temple]

Jake suspects, correctly, that everyone despises him. "And while that's definitely the exception and not the rule with these things, it's also standard operating procedure whenever any sort of abusive relationship comes to an end" - Dude, what?
View attachment 1091855

View attachment 1091858

Translation: Zoe knows I'm a bald, bearded loser and told all the cool kids. I'm never getting back in the club. She's probably hinted that I make her feel nebulously "unsafe." And she will absolutely, publicly, light me the FUCK up if I attack her by name.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Jake suspects, correctly, that everyone despises him. "And while that's definitely the exception and not the rule with these things, it's also standard operating procedure whenever any sort of abusive relationship comes to an end" - Dude, what?
View attachment 1091855

View attachment 1091858

“And the worst part is, I didn’t even get a handjob out of it!”

View attachment 1091973

Suicide Prevention Cat hired an assistant? Good for him!

 

[AirdropShitposts]

 

[Norvic]

He's at it again with the "CHELSAAAY!" huh? I guess it must be a day ending in Y.
Do you think he's ever going to get over this incredibly petty internet infighting, or is he still going to be mumbling incoherently about his "abuser" when he's 70?

 

[Tragi-Chan]

View attachment 1091991

A couple of days ago, he was an elite undercover investigative journalist infiltrating the deadliest terrorist groups in the world, uncovering their plans and being targeted by hitmen.

Today, “WAAAAAAAAAAA someone called me ‘they’ instead of ‘she’ the other day I’m literally shaking!“

He's at it again with the "CHELSAAAY!" huh? I guess it must be a day ending in Y.
Do you think he's ever going to get over this incredibly petty internet infighting, or is he still going to be mumbling incoherently about his "abuser" when he's 70?

The only way he’ll get over it is if he finds something else to do with his life, so no, he’ll never get over it. He’ll still be chasing the dream long after everyone’s forgotten Gamergate existed. But he probably won’t live to be 70.

 

[valis]

Jake suspects, correctly, that everyone despises him. "And while that's definitely the exception and not the rule with these things, it's also standard operating procedure whenever any sort of abusive relationship comes to an end" - Dude, what?
View attachment 1091855

View attachment 1091858

All that, yet somehow Eron is still the bad guy. And a nazi.

 

[Done Goofed]

View attachment 1091991

The gnome wailed extra hard and stomps on the floor as the abuser who is totally not mommy told him jake your tendies are ready. The gnome is in shock twitter.

 

[selachophile]

Let's Learn Gnomish
Lesson 2: Damn Near
What can be damn near? In descending order of frequency:

Damn near everyone (x10)
Damn near every [consumer media] (x5)
Damn near every trans person (x3)
Damn near every day (x2)
Damn near everyone I know (x2)
Damn near a 50/50 split
Damn near a year ago
Damn near all of the above [RPG activities]
Damn near any random person off the street
Damn near anyone
Damn near anyone else
Damn near anything
Damn near daily basis
Damn near every inch of column space
Damn near every media outlet and game developer
Damn near every possible context
Damn near every post
Damn near every single GG twitter account
Damn near every single person I follow
Damn near every single woman to ever work in the industry
Damn near every time
Damn near every trans-supportive cis person
Damn near every way [of trans-coding a character]
Damn near every woman
Damn near everyone I cared about
Damn near everyone I've ever trusted
Damn near everyone's [RPG] world
Damn near everything
Damn near had my head bitten off
Damn near immediately
Damn near impossible
Damn near positive
Damn near shouting
Damn near superhuman
Damn near totally locked out
Damn near universal
Damn near walked into the ocean

It's funny how filtering things through Jake's catchphrases distills his life down to the essentials.

This reads like a poem or a nice little song.

 

[Water-T]

I'm no expert on Zack but I'm pretty sure the anus is supposed to be used as a waste disposal unit.

Yes, but Zack does it in the opposite direction, by packing down the fudge extra hard.

And speaking of packed shit...

Ooh....Jake's extra bothered that Chelsea is most likely using her secret Primeape account to warn other NPCs about Secret Attic Gnome.

It's so precious that he paints his "relationship" with her as abuse, when he continued to cyber stalk her (and Soha) long after she blocked him and told him to fuck off.