Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Namekian George Floyd]

These people are still going to be talking about GooberGob in 10 years, it's like they view it as a war they fought in and don't want people to forget about because then they got triggered over nothing.
You wasted your time and you haven't grown up since, it's time to cut your losses and fucking move on.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Let's Learn Gnomish
Lesson 6: 1000 Words For "Betrayal", None For "Goodbye"

Friendship is a fleeting thing among the Gnomish; due to the volatile nature of their society, by the time your average gnome's beard reaches his clavicles (a traditional reckoning of manhood) he will have left a years-long trail of wrecked friendships behind him. There is a taboo on referring to friendships as "over", similar to the death taboo in some preliterate Human societies. Rather, the gnome will refer to the ex-friend as "lost", "not listening", "a temporary enemy", or some such circumlocution.
Our data anthropologists examined the social network of a typical Gnomo sapiens; the results are as follows.

During the observation period (9/8/2014 to 1/21/2020), the subject received 18269 individual engagements (17536 replies and 733 mentions) on Twitter, from 4551 people. Of these, the distribution of engagement was:

# of Engagements	Frequency
1	2811
2-10	1459
11-20	140
21-30	64
31-40	24
41-50	14
51-60	10
61-70	8
71-80	4
81-90	1
91-100	1
101+	14

Note the apparent operation of a power law in this data; once you get up past the "drive-bys" in the low reply counts, each additional 10 replies approximately halves the number of respondents. In other words, the half-life of a gnomish acquaintance is about 10 replies.
The power law breaks down at about the 100-reply mark; this appears to mark the boundary between "acquaintance" and "friend".

I've attached my data here in CSV format if anyone wants to help out with the analysis.
The "raw" spreadsheet contains every single reply or mention (as of 1/21/2020), dated and categorized.
The "aggregate" one aggregates the engagements per-user and provides a few simple stats. The "Abandoned" flag is my rough measure of if a user is a friend who BETRAYED!!! Jake. The arbitrary criterion I came up with is that they have to have engaged with Jake over at least a year, at the rate of at least 20 replies per year, and currently haven't replied to him in 3 months.
Of his 14 "true friends" over the 100-reply mark, only 4 have abandoned him by this metric. And let it be noted that Zoe and Randi also triggered this flag, but they're not in this list because they never talked to Jake that much.

User	# Replies	First Reply	Last Reply	Years Engaged	Abandoned?
@KayinNasaki	409​	10/6/2014​	1/15/2020​	5.3​	No
@griffonsierra	407​	6/27/2018​	1/18/2020​	1.6​	No
@arthur_affect	334​	9/26/2014​	1/10/2020​	5.3​	No
@Kalindlara	313​	9/12/2015​	12/12/2019​	4.3​	No
@remembrancermx	277​	2/20/2017​	1/18/2020​	2.9​	No
@Delafina777	265​	10/22/2014​	1/20/2020​	5.2​	No
@icequeenerika	265​	10/14/2014​	7/9/2018​	3.7​	Yes
@NoraReed	244​	3/26/2015​	1/16/2020​	4.8​	No
@dirtbagboyfren	204​	10/20/2014​	8/30/2017​	2.9​	Yes
@Dmol8	188​	12/12/2015​	12/9/2018​	2.9​	Yes
@heroofthebeach	187​	10/7/2014​	7/31/2019​	4.8​	Yes
@RealKav_P	138​	5/29/2017​	1/4/2020​	2.6​	No
@SYXG98	112​	5/28/2018​	1/9/2020​	1.6​	No
@AmazonChique	111​	11/25/2015​	12/16/2019​	4.0​	No

EDIT: By the way, here's the list of everyone who "abandoned" Jake by my metric.

Spoiler: TRAITORS

User	# Replies	First Reply	Last Reply	Years Engaged
@icequeenerika	265​	10/14/2014​	7/9/2018​	3.736111111​
@dirtbagboyfren	204​	10/20/2014​	8/30/2017​	2.861111111​
@Dmol8	188​	12/12/2015​	12/9/2018​	2.991666667​
@heroofthebeach	187​	10/7/2014​	7/31/2019​	4.816666667​
@athenahollow	68​	11/2/2014​	7/10/2017​	2.688888889​
@CanadiEnby	66​	3/1/2015​	4/4/2018​	3.091666667​
@randileeharper	65​	10/2/2014​	5/20/2016​	1.633333333​
@UnburntWitch	63​	10/14/2014​	12/1/2015​	1.130555556​
@HistorianGab	56​	12/2/2015​	6/19/2018​	2.547222222​
@bulbafren	47​	10/6/2014​	8/11/2016​	1.847222222​
@Archmortal	43​	10/8/2014​	8/17/2016​	1.858333333​
@PennyOaken	43​	10/27/2017​	5/21/2019​	1.566666667​
@spacenettle	34​	4/30/2016​	7/5/2017​	1.180555556​

My screen-scraping doesn't seem to work anymore (conked out in the middle of this article), so if some generous soul with a Twitter API account wants to hop in the saddle, I'm interested to see how many times Jake tweeted at his top conversation partners. How many tweets of his does it take to get one back? (In other words, is there a "thirst index"?)

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Dmol8 was that guy who was always asking if Jake was still alive after his suicide baits and Jake would reply by basically telling him "yes! but you're not the one whose attention I wanted!"

 

[Kosher Dill]

I just found out that not all replies actually show up in the Twitter search results for "to a user" - does anyone know why this is?
Example: @SFtheWolf doesn't show up even once as replying, but you can see him talking to Jake here

Secret Gamer Girl on Twitter

“@SFtheWolf What, 1 hit kills in Goldeneye? Literally the only way any of my friends used to play it, yeah. Though to be fair, it had couch co-op only. Latency and twitchy mode are a bad bad combo.”

twitter.com

Is it something about "replies to replies" not counting? Can you get everything if you have API access?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Holy shit at the conversation at that link, I think I'm literally suicidal after reading it.

 

[Cleric of Autism]

Holy shit at the conversation at that link, I think I'm literally suicidal after reading it.

View attachment 1109176

Are my friends and I the only ones who didn't play like that? Hell we usually preferred Jaws mode

 

[AnOminous]

Let's Learn Gnomish
Lesson 6: 1000 Words For "Betrayal", None For "Goodbye"

I can't bring myself to rate this Autistic so I rated it Semper Fidelis instead.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I can't bring myself to rate this Autistic so I rated it Semper Fidelis instead.

I'd rate it Autistic myself if I could

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

I'd rate it Autistic myself if I could

You should rate yourself winner. You took one for the team by untangling some of the words and phrases misused by yon bearded gnome

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Yon big thoughts about gaming worker solidarity:


He's so insufferable that Uber ditches him:

 

[AnOminous]

Yon big thoughts about gaming worker solidarity:
View attachment 1109428View attachment 1109429

He's so insufferable that Uber ditches him:
View attachment 1109430

Imagine being a poor Uber driver so horrified by having to cope with an earful of gnome wailing by this repulsive, fat fuck that you're willing to do without getting paid just not to have to deal with this piece of shit any more.

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

"come back to... an empty parking lot" "someone doesn't like the look of me walking out with my bags of pills"
So which is it? Do they leave before he comes back, or do they tear off when they spot the HRT pills in his bag with their x-ray vision?

 

[Tragi-Chan]

"come back to... an empty parking lot" "someone doesn't like the look of me walking out with my bags of pills"
So which is it? Do they leave before he comes back, or do they tear off when they spot the HRT pills in his bag with their x-ray vision?

I guess he read Becky’s rant about the Uber driver who was affronted by her dangerhair and decided it was time for a cab horror story of his own.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

lmao, passive aggressive gnomey

a good old fashioned example of "scratch an ableist, find a nazi"

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

View attachment 1109498

They're talking about coffeespoonie, a patreon leech "writer" (read: sporadic blogger) with "ptsd" (read: defer-to-me-or-I-scream syndrome) who is routinely having uber drivers fired for refusing to carry her "service dog" (read: dog)

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Terrorism expert Violet Hargrave reports that "Marxist-Leninist" and "Global South" are dogwhistles for "a particular breed of fascist" lolol

 

[Kosher Dill]

The whole "tankies are Nazis" thing is one of my favorite Jake delusions because it's so unique. Horseshoe theory is nothing new, of course, but only Jake thinks ultra-leftists are literally the same thing as Nazis.

 

[Haramburger]

The whole "tankies are Nazis" thing is one of my favorite Jake delusions because it's so unique. Horseshoe theory is nothing new, of course, but only Jake thinks ultra-leftists are literally the same thing as Nazis.

Which is ironic because Jake is the living, breathing definition of an ultra-leftist. He shuns all right-leaning concepts on principle, plays at being on the oppressive stack despite being the literal rung, and constantly polices his own contacts and allies on behaviors in an attempt to prune more lefties from the left.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Which is ironic because Jake is the living, breathing definition of an ultra-leftist. He shuns all right-leaning concepts on principle, plays at being on the oppressive stack despite being the literal rung, and constantly polices his own contacts and allies on behaviors in an attempt to prune more lefties from the left.

It seems to me that he calls himself a socialist, but he also demands an authoritarian society in which dissent is not tolerated and orthodoxy is enforced by force, even through actual violence.

 

[Water-T]

LOL. I hate to break it to you, Jakey, but they didn't stick around because between the Live Googleshngs and the smell of week old sweatpants, stale Hot Pockets, and kitty litter, the poor drivers though it was worth the loss of tips and a hit in their driver rating to get the fuck away from you.