🐱 Doctors beg men not to masturbate with banana peels

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Sexual peeling.
Doctors have warned horny young men to refrain from using banana peels to masturbate — the latest bizarre sex trend circulating on social media.
“It’s the closet thing to a blowjob,” wrote one randy Redditor, who claims “he’s been doing it for years.”

However, Dr. Diana Gill of prescription service Doctor-4-U cautions against the perverse practice. “You could develop a rash and sores on the penis which can be painful and might lead to infection,” Gill told the Sun. Not only that, but she claims a person with a fruit or latex allergy could be more susceptible to a reaction from a banana skin.
“A person with a banana allergy is more likely to be allergic to other substances such as latex or other fruits and vegetables,” she said. “So if you’re allergic to latex condoms you may also be allergic to banana skins.”
Gill’s not the only naysayer. One Reddit user recounted a harrowing, cautionary tale where he used a banana skin to masturbate and allegedly ended up “falling in the mess I made, hit my head on the toilet and barely lived to tell the tale.”
However, supporters of the organic orgasm inducer feel it’s too good to pass up. Subscribers to JackInWorld, the self-proclaimed “Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource,” gave the “banana man” 4.5 out of 5 stars with 359 votes cast so far. The site also provides a tutorial on how to perform the act and even advised warming the peel for added effect.
Commenters seconded these sentiments: “I have used the banana skin technique occasionally for many years (I’m now 78),” said one banana skin supporter. “The bigger the banana the better,” added another.
Banana peels aren’t the first unconventional items employed by pleasure-seekers. This past November, gynecologists warned women not to masturbate with electric toothbrushes because it “could cause trauma to the delicate vulval area.”
 
One time I tried masturbating with shampoo.

It was the most painful experience of my life.

The skin on my dick turned red and crinkly like it was in a sheath of plastic. It molted like a fucking snake.

Needless to say I have the most sincere form of empathy for lab animals now.
please tell us all about your jerk off escapades
 
Ah yes, american doctors, the famous group of penis experts who convinced the public that ritual genital mutilation of male infants is a perfectly natural, normal procedure. "Please don't masturbate with a banana peel as I chop off the tip of this baby's dick" - probably some american faggot nerd doctor

I get it, you're pissed mommy circumcised you at eight days or whatever, but holy shit, let it go.
 
please tell us all about your jerk off escapades
I want to know several things about banana masturbation without actually trying it

Do you try not to split the peel all the way down and then remove the fruit
Would the slipperier gros michel peel be a better experience
What’s the best slur for plantain wankers
 
I don't have any stories about masturbating with shampoo or grapefruit or bananas, but I do have a story about a dude I knew in high school. There were a few of the guys over at this dude's house, bullshitting around and playing video games while he was in his room getting ready for his hot date. And she was hot, not gonna lie. The rest of us had no dates, we went of an all male Jesuit high school. He was a rich little fuck, he went to a coed private school. He'd spent all afternoon bragging about his date.

So we hear this scream coming from his room. Then another. Then it kinda kept going. Of course we had to go see what his problem. He'd decided he wanted his dick and balls to smell nice, so he sprayed a whole shitload of Drakkar Noir all over his groin. All was well for a few minutes. Then it started tingling. Then turning red. And then the burning started.

He never did get to go on his date that fine evening, he got to go to the ER instead, where the hospital staff laughed at him as they treated his mild chemical burns. The best part was the next day, when he was saying to us "Yeah, like all of you guys haven't done this, right? Right?!?" Well, no. Speaking for myself I never managed to basically mace my genitals. Thirty years later he still gets shit about it whenever he sees one of us.
 
I don't have any stories about masturbating with shampoo or grapefruit or bananas, but I do have a story about a dude I knew in high school. There were a few of the guys over at this dude's house, bullshitting around and playing video games while he was in his room getting ready for his hot date. And she was hot, not gonna lie. The rest of us had no dates, we went of an all male Jesuit high school. He was a rich little fuck, he went to a coed private school. He'd spent all afternoon bragging about his date.

So we hear this scream coming from his room. Then another. Then it kinda kept going. Of course we had to go see what his problem. He'd decided he wanted his dick and balls to smell nice, so he sprayed a whole shitload of Drakkar Noir all over his groin. All was well for a few minutes. Then it started tingling. Then turning red. And then the burning started.

He never did get to go on his date that fine evening, he got to go to the ER instead, where the hospital staff laughed at him as they treated his mild chemical burns. The best part was the next day, when he was saying to us "Yeah, like all of you guys haven't done this, right? Right?‽" Well, no. Speaking for myself I never managed to basically mace my genitals. Thirty years later he still gets shit about it whenever he sees one of us.

I know how that is. I accidentally once scratched my balls after eating something spicy and damn, I had to wash them for an hour to get the pain out of it.
 
I know how that is. I accidentally once scratched my balls after eating something spicy and damn, I had to wash them for an hour to get the pain out of it.

I did the same with IcyHot. Applying IcyHot to your dick became an injoke with my gf and I.
 
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Reactions: Piss Bear
One time I tried masturbating with shampoo.

It was the most painful experience of my life.

The skin on my dick turned red and crinkly like it was in a sheath of plastic. It molted like a fucking snake.

Needless to say I have the most sincere form of empathy for lab animals now.
You aren't supposed to use anything scented on your genitals in either sex. Even if the scent doesn't hurt on other body parts it will hurt your private parts. Use an unscented Baby Dove bar or something else that's unscented, soap free and gentle.
 
One time I tried masturbating with shampoo.

It was the most painful experience of my life.

The skin on my dick turned red and crinkly like it was in a sheath of plastic. It molted like a fucking snake.

Needless to say I have the most sincere form of empathy for lab animals now.
Everyone tries that as a kid right? In a quarter of my life I've lost so many important memories but I can still exactly remember jumping in shock from the sting of the shampoo.
 
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