Wuhan Coronavirus: Megathread - Got too big

[Niggaplease]

Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. You, a good few months down the line:

Spoiler: speculation

The Wu Flu spread to all parts of China, and slowly and surely around the rest of the world. China’s numbers were found to be ridiculously low, but no-one wanted to accuse them directly of a cover-up. Chen Qiushi released a dingy video purporting to show that Wuhan’s new hospital was in fact a hastily created mass grave. The stills that went viral on the internet sure look like they show a row of neatly arranged limbs, but who knows, really? Anyway Chen went missing after he posted the video.

In the U.S., the CDC, hampered by an incompetent government determined to salvage relations with China at all costs, botched the quarantine. Nothing too dramatic happened. The flu cut a swathe through the morbidly obese in Texas and the elderly in Florida. The great decimation of the fatties resulted in nothing much more than making “’My 600lb life” mildly interesting.

In your average town USA, life is normal with the exception of being a whole lot more boring. Cases of Wu Flu sprung up everywhere, and while nasty, it is rarely fatal. It was proven to be contagious before the appearance of symptoms, however, which means it was impossible to stop and people became increasingly paranoid.

You still go to work but whenever you are alone in the elevator you swab all the buttons with an antibacterial wipe. If someone is in there with you, you hit the button with your pinkie knuckle (because you don’t want to look insane, right?) while you both plaster yourselves to opposite walls.

Work is dull and you see the same people day in, day out. No-one visits from other offices and no-one leaves. Chad the Bastard from IT leveraged the crisis into a lucrative new position as head of video comms, and now he makes you sit through endless dull meetings about the latest and greatest ways to gaze sadly through the screen at the hottie who used to come to the building for training events. Your friend Mick discovered that strategically coughing in the vicinity of the nervous boss results in almost instantaneous sick leave, and thus is never there.

Your life is boring, boring, boring. Hardly anyone goes to movies anymore, or drinks on Fridays, and even if you try, the moment anyone coughs the room gets really quiet and the atmosphere turns sour. So here you sit, typing away on kiwi farms discussing the latest leaked Chinese death pit video.

Thank god for the discount vodka.

Cheers! All I need is enough cran pomegranate juice and I got enough liquid imbibement for months. Yes I drink cran pom with my vodka because I'm a pretentious faggot. That's if I'm not going for either basic bitch Cosmo or white Russian.

 

[Coleslaw]

The Chinese Red Cross is a government agency wearing the thinnest mask of an NGO.

 

[General Disarray]

Yesterday I was watching a CSI Miami episode where some dumb cunt gets killed by eating lettuce apparently infected with E.Coli, this made me remember the whole fuzz about "Biosludge". To be brief about this, basically agricultural lobbyists and the US goverment using solid biological waste from city's sewer system and selling them as "Bio-Friendly" fertilizer which contains over 80.000 different chemicals ranging from birth control shit to industrial chemicals. For anyone interested about this, look in here.

I remember a mention that large cities often "sell" their sewage to any fertilizer producers and then ship them all over the country. To give you an idea, someone buying a fertilzier bag in Texas which could end up fertilizing his garden with shit from NY or Chicago.

Wonder if this or ANY type of disease with similar characteristics could grow in any sewage of a major city and then be spread by naive people using that same shit as fertilizer.

Don't diss on Milorganite. It comes from treated wastewater sludge from Jones Island. It's been around for a very long time.
If anything is to blame it's the companies loading their wastewater with PFAS which then travels down the chain. Any e-coli is due to not being washed properly before comsumption as most compost contains some level of fecal matter.

 

[pull over dat ass too fat]

Important news release from the BBC UK today where they state, and I quote:

"Last night, doctors in Germany confirmed cases there had spread before people even developed symptoms. "

Now I take Germans at their word, and the BBC UK is pretty darn reliable.

I'd expect the CDC and WHO to within 24 hours confirm we've been fucked and didn't know the cock was up our ass until afterwards.

Fasten your seatbelts, its going to be a bumpy ride.

Gott sei Dank fuer die Deutschen

I really don't think the CDC was actually convinced that the virus couldn't spread before showing symptoms, they were just pissed that China wouldn't agree to give them access to investigate on-site or share more data with them. The CDC is also just so fucking picky about who they agree to test, surely they realize the bias that comes with that...

Shortly after the CDC said that the virus is only contagious to people with close & persistent contact like family members, Germany announces a case of human-to-human transmission from a visiting colleague during company training. Then a couple days after the CDC implies that China has no evidence for transmission before symptom onset Germany delivers again. At least there's some country that seems to be somewhat transparent.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

This is why Japan >>>>> China

I'm not even a weeb, but how are these two countries BOTH Asian? Japan eats a lot of weird ass shit as well (You put in Japanese street food and you get horrifying results as well) but they still retain their dignity in being some of the cleanest people on earth. I never fully realized this until I watched some Japanese person putting in the utter most effort in cleaning up a fucking ant farm.

It's one of the things I most admire about their culture.

A lot of cultures eat weird shit. Parts of America eat bull testicles, Spain and Italy eat horse, the UK has haggis and jellied eal, Koreans still eat dog, and all the nordic countries have some variation of rotting fish that explodes when you breach the can. The issue is that all of these countries have proper sanitation and everyone born there knows why it’s important. The issue with China, India too but for all the crazy shit that goes on there they don’t have the the low level sociopathy or the pathological need to save face, is that they came to wealth very rapidly because of other powers’ laziness and greed. How do you build infrastructure to prevent this shit when: your average citizen will eat almost anything and cook it in what amounts to motor oil, they spit or shit everywhere, won’t take measures for proper treatment because your predecessors convinced everyonethat local voodoo bullshit is better, and you can’t be sure any numbers are correct because all of your underlings are lying their asses off?

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Well, here in NYC, under the benevolent Chairman De Blasio, illegal Mexican street food vendors without a license thrive because Espaillat, who finally got Charlie Rangel's seat, is the biggest advocate for these parasites. Did I mention they don't have permits to sell food on the street? It's racist to make them get permits, you're a Nazi if you believe otherwise. There's a filthy looking Mexican woman who comes out to sell her homemade tamales near my building. She wears no gloves and sells them from a shopping cart. The only people who buy them are the rich white libs in the area who apparently have never been to Mexico during Spring break and were never warned against buying Mexican street food because vendors have horrible hygiene and non-existent sanitary practices. Their customers come down with hepatitis, thyroid and e.coli after eating this delicious street food. Any Mexican with an IQ over 90 will stop you from buying street food. I wonder if these woketards think hepatitis/typhoid magically disappears when illegals wade across the Rio Grande?

So I predict if the bat flu explodes in NYC these illegal street food vendors will play a huge part in spreading it but any mention of it will be memoryholed because it's racist.

I haven't even mentioned the Chinese street food vendors and wet markets we have in Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens. I wouldn't be surprised if they supplied, upon request, strange and exotic critters to their customers, at premium prices. I used to work in a part of Chinatown that few tourists saw and I got the feeling you could get anything you wanted, as long as you were willing to pay for it.

What I’ve been wondering about ‘wet markets’ is that every American supermarket I’ve ever been in sells live lobsters, and a lot sell live crabs. There’s no lobster-human diseases, right?

 

[SherlockMexicano]

No cases of Corona virus in Mexico so far, all suspected cases have turned out to be false. Still, I wish my president would just close borders or do something more active.

Looks bad for the Chinese, but I don't care. I guess they're also people and all that, but my priority is my family and my people.

You are christian, aren't you? Hey, remember that part of the bible where Jesus said, fuck everyone except people I like? Me neither

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

First confirmed case in sweden now. Patient seems pretty A okay though.

 

[Coleslaw]

What I’ve been wondering about ‘wet markets’ is that every American supermarket I’ve ever been in sells live lobsters, and a lot sell live crabs. There’s no lobster-human diseases, right?

Chinese supermarkets sell live fish in tanks like an aquarium.

 

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Sorry that I keep injecting politics into an otherwise apolitical thread, but these fucking hot takes keep making me laugh so hard that I see stars. Holy shit CNN who the fuck cares?

One of the things we noticed about 2 years ago were a lot of Chinese exchange students were involved in SJW activism.

Woke SJWism -- also known as Cultural Marxism -- almost definitely is getting some support from China. Maybe from Russia, too.

Doesn't surprise me at all that they're attempting to push woke agendas during this. Just wait till they start explaining that LGBT, Women, and PoC -- literally everyone except white people and straight men -- should get priority on the Virus for reparations and to make up for all the "cultural evil" that Straight White Men have created over the years.

 

[Fork Cartel]

Welp, we pretty much turned every hardware store in our area upside down and all we could find were the 'useless' surgical masks. Haha, if it arrives in Puerto Rico I'm done. Will keep you posted if I meet corona-chan

 

[EmuWarsVeteran]

In the end. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, I think we can all agree on the lesson to this tragic tale.

"Thank god for the discount vodka."

 

[Lina Colorado]

https://www.brusselstimes.com/all-n...rlifted-out-of-china-face-14-days-quarantine/

Long article short, exchange Uni students (and other expat types) who were in China are now in Belgium after being airlifted and quarantined for 14 days so I think we are ok. For now.
Ofcourse, these students are complaining about being quarantined but most of all, they wanted to stay in China lol. Meh too bad. Better sick in Belgian hospital than sick in friggin' Wuhan.

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

One of the things we noticed about 2 years ago were a lot of Chinese exchange students were involved in SJW activism.

Woke SJWism -- also known as Cultural Marxism -- almost definitely is getting some support from China. Maybe from Russia, too.

Doesn't surprise me at all that they're attempting to push woke agendas during this. Just wait till they start explaining that LGBT, Women, and PoC -- literally everyone except white people and straight men -- should get priority on the Virus for reparations and to make up for all the "cultural evil" that Straight White Men have created over the years.

Corbin Dallas Multipass? Is that you?

 

[Youthanasia]

A bit of levity for the thread:













But on a more serious tone, doctors are taking surgical bed canvas and goddamn document folders to serve as masks.

Spoiler: Images

Finally, a video from this Tweet as food for thought. The dead fella was lying there for two hours with around 15 ambulances passing by and nobody even gave a fuck.

Spoiler: Video

 

[MadDamon]

The Chinese Red Cross is a government agency wearing the thinnest mask of an NGO.

It has been common knowledge that Red Cross, no matter which country it comes from, is nothing but a fraud.
Chinese Red Cross is the glaring example, but Red Cross in general is a digesting money washing mechine.
https://slate.com/business/2017/08/dont-give-money-to-the-red-cross-we-need-a-new-way.html
https://www.propublica.org/article/...a-billion-dollars-for-haiti-and-built-6-homes
https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/s...k=4c347aad41475e948badcf3e8c4bf01b-1580486575

 

[Uncle Ted]

In the end. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, I think we can all agree on the lesson to this tragic tale.

"Thank god for the discount vodka."

I stocked up on 100 proof vodka myself. It's a disinfectant, firestarter (alcohol at or above 100 proof, or 50% abv is flammable), de-icer, and also you can get shitfaced on it!

 

[Pinot Pierrot]

Do the Chinese practice bathing daily? Not being condescending. Just genuinely curious.

Depends on the region, apparently. My family are more autistic about hygiene than I am, though that has more to do with growing up in the hot, humid Taiwanese climate than being from China. Regarding myself and everyone else I know, we probably shower as frequently as the average American (daily).

About my first and final college roommate though, ouef. I've talked about him in the School Stories thread, but I'm just going to recap it here: Chinese exchange student, lanky dude, probably from a province out west. I saw the passport picture he left on a drawer before first meeting him, depicting your average crew cut. But nooooope - untreated shoulder-length hair, made slick and weighted down by nothing but his own scalp oil. I haven't seen him shower once in my entire year as a dorm student, which wasn't helped by how his sense of personal space is virtually nonexistent. His hair only grew slicker as time went on, until locks of it were practically licking the air with every turn of his head.

I slept on couches within the common area every day just to avoid him, only ducking back inside the room just to grab my shower supplies. His housecleaning skills were similarly nonexistent.

 

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Well, this is fucked up and surely won't be the last case of this kind.

Disabled teenager in China dies at home alone after relatives quarantined

Boy with cerebral palsy was left without a carer after his father developed a fever

www.theguardian.com

Died of thirst because his useless fucking local government couldn't be fucking bothered to check on him once a day.

What a fucking way to go.

Also, HuWa only got 3000 masks, while JinAi, a small hospital with only 200 staffs, with no confirmed case, get 18000 KN95 from the Red Cross right at the moment. By the way, JinAi already used up 12000 masks.

And now we see why the Red Cross isn't handing them out. Because if they did the Corrupt Chinese Pricks in receiving would take a box or 10 for their family, a box or 2 to sell, etc. They'd be gone instantly.

 

[MadDamon]

I stocked up on 100 proof vodka myself. It's a disinfectant, firestarter (alcohol at or above 100 proof, or 50% abv is flammable), de-icer, and also you can get shitfaced on it!

What kind of cheap vodka should I get? Here in Hong Kong we are all run out of normal medical alcohol, so is mask, grains and many vegetables. It is like going through a war lol.