Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[George Floyd Sneed]

For everyone who thinks Jolene is this kids saving grace/raising him....
She isn't or is doing a totally shit job of it.

One kid pawned off on a random ex, the other developmentally delayed and she is on the cover of Parents magazine.

What a world!

Jolene being a long suffering friend that sticks around to raise Tess’ children is an invention of this thread and does not reflect reality.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Yeah, Jolene is shite. Come on, she can stand Tess's company and has done so for years when any normal person would throw themselves out of a window rather than be around that annoying, self-centred heffer. She and Tess share the same values, or rather lack of them, and the same interests, vapid as they are.

Sounds like Bowie is the equivalent of a yappy purse dog to both of them. Something to show off in photos and coo over when the mood strikes them, but left to their own devices the rest of the time and no thought put into approproriate training. Probably junk food is passed to him a couple of times a day if and when they remember, and probably he has a normal self-limiting appetite still so he hasn't got fat, in fact he seems quite skinny. Odd for a kid of fatties really. Usually they overfeed kids without even trying because they have zero idea of portions. Maybe Bowie's meal schedule is erratic though, given his social situation and the fact he's around weed smokers who are the worst for gettng anything actually done in a day. I can see him bloating once he's older, emotionally neglected and sees food is an approved comfort/escape route in his household. The other kid is fat already, for sure. Short, too, hope he gets a growth spurt soon or he's shit out of luck.

When do kids start school in the US? It'sthe September after you turn 4 in the U.K. which means kids can bea very young 4 or nearly five by the time they go, and there has been a lot of aggro in recent years about useless parents like Tess sending kids still in nappies, unable to do basic stuff like handle cultlery because they've been allowed to just shit themselves on demand and eat with their fingers at home because their parents are too useless to use their endless free time to actually teach them anything.

Kids like Bowie stop being cute after a while and start being aggravating when they develop more independence and realise what they can get away with, combined with insecurity from the fact they're backward panstshitters with ludicrous fat mothers.

 

[multiverse]

When do kids start school in the US?

The cutoff date is generally late August, and the child must turn five by the cutoff date or they wait until the next round.

There is also kindergarten screening when the child is 3-4. The local county hosts readiness screening where they observe if the child is intellectually and emotionally ready for kindergarten. This swings both ways: a three year old can be recommended to begin as soon as they are 4 by the cutoff (if the parents wish to send them early); but the parents may be told their child needs more preparation (they won't take the kid if they aren't fully toilet trained, or doesn't know basics like the alphabet, or can't count to 20), therapies, or if special education is recommended.

Kailyn is another cow who has declined to toilet train her young child, resulting in the kid being left behind for a year as her useless sped mother is given more time to achieve basic parenting.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

Yeah, Jolene is shite. Come on, she can stand Tess's company and has done so for years when any normal person would throw themselves out of a window rather than be around that annoying, self-centred heffer. She and Tess share the same values, or rather lack of them, and the same interests, vapid as they are.

Sounds like Bowie is the equivalent of a yappy purse dog to both of them. Something to show off in photos and coo over when the mood strikes them, but left to their own devices the rest of the time and no thought put into approproriate training. Probably junk food is passed to him a couple of times a day if and when they remember, and probably he has a normal self-limiting appetite still so he hasn't got fat, in fact he seems quite skinny. Odd for a kid of fatties really. Usually they overfeed kids without even trying because they have zero idea of portions. Maybe Bowie's meal schedule is erratic though, given his social situation and the fact he's around weed smokers who are the worst for gettng anything actually done in a day. I can see him bloating once he's older, emotionally neglected and sees food is an approved comfort/escape route in his household. The other kid is fat already, for sure. Short, too, hope he gets a growth spurt soon or he's shit out of luck.

When do kids start school in the US? It'sthe September after you turn 4 in the U.K. which means kids can bea very young 4 or nearly five by the time they go, and there has been a lot of aggro in recent years about useless parents like Tess sending kids still in nappies, unable to do basic stuff like handle cultlery because they've been allowed to just shit themselves on demand and eat with their fingers at home because their parents are too useless to use their endless free time to actually teach them anything.

Kids like Bowie stop being cute after a while and start being aggravating when they develop more independence and realise what they can get away with, combined with insecurity from the fact they're backward panstshitters with ludicrous fat mothers.

I worked in a high-end private preschool in the US (essentially ages two to five), and the only kid out of hundreds not potty-trained by/just after three was a little girl with Down Syndrome, which the seasoned teachers still found unacceptable.

I know that Tess is a lazy, neglectful, self-serving sack of shit, but there was no reason that Nick couldn't have potty-trained Bowie before he split. I guess he was too busy moping around feeling sorry for himself and ruminating on leather daddy cock.

Yet again, more evidence that Tess only had another kid for pure narcissistic supply. Bowie turns four in June. It's not cute for a normal four-year-old to shit in a diaper. It's pathetic.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

I worked in a high-end private preschool in the US (essentially ages two to five), and the only kid out of hundreds not potty-trained by/just after three was a little girl with Down Syndrome, which the seasoned teachers still found unacceptable.

I know that Tess is a lazy, neglectful, self-serving sack of shit, but there was no reason that Nick couldn't have potty-trained Bowie before he split. I guess he was too busy moping around feeling sorry for himself and ruminating on leather daddy cock.

Yet again, more evidence that Tess only had another kid for pure narcissistic supply. Bowie turns four in June. It's not cute for a normal four-year-old to shit in a diaper. It's pathetic.

According to the comments from Tess's usual band of losers and arsesuckers, it's totally normal to wear a nappy until five or even older! Especially if you're a sainted boy. Boys apparently only shit in toilets when they're ready and not one moment before and they will decide when and it's totally out of parental control so why even try to insist on it and this convenient principle can be applied to everything else in their lives too. The number of women wading in to announce their kid wasn't toilet trained by four and prop up Tess's delusions that she's any kind of effective mother is appalling.

The 'when they're ready' excuse which may be reasonable in other circumstances is just used to prop up endless parental laziness and low standards of living by choice. It's typical trash thinking to adopt a principle out of the context it's meant to be used in and apply it to get out of meeting even the most basic of demands.

As for Nick, I doubt he did anything useful in house or outside, to the point even a useless cow like Tess got fed up with him.

 

[multiverse]

Nick is busy regaling his reddit friends about the multiple times he ran into a rotting body on the hard streets of Brisbane. No, seriously, he claims to have found no fewer than three bodies before the age of 14. Plus the sex abuse, don't forget the sex abuse!


Nicky be thirsty for ATTENSHUNS; wonder if the local Youth AA meet finally told him to find another home group. He seems the type to try to one-up everyone with imagined war stories of using, thinking it makes him look awesome.

 

[SnarkySperg]

When do kids start school in the US?

Around here, you can start preschool as young as two (like, a friend of mine put her kid in a couple months after she turned two), though to me it just sounds like glorified daycare at that age.

Kindergarten usually isn't until you're five. Where I live (admittedly not anywhere close to Tess), if the child turns 4 before September 1st, they can start Pre-K, or kindergarten if they're five by that date. I know of a place to have a cutoff date as late as October 1st and here it was July 1st for a bit.

Also requirements for preschools depend on the school. Some require the kid is potty trained, some just require that the kid is ready. But there's other requirements too, requirements I doubt Jolene or Tess could be bothered with (knowing how to count at least a little, maybe knowing the alphabet, not having separation anxiety, etc).

According to the comments from Tess's usual band of losers and arsesuckers, it's totally normal to wear a nappy until five or even older! Especially if you're a sainted boy. Boys apparently only shit in toilets when they're ready and not one moment before and they will decide when and it's totally out of parental control so why even try to insist on it and this convenient principle can be applied to everything else in their lives too. The number of women wading in to announce their kid wasn't toilet trained by four and prop up Tess's delusions that she's any kind of effective mother is appalling.

Remember the kid I mentioned who made it clear he wanted to start potty training? Well, he was a boy. I think he wasn't even two yet. So he's half the age Bowie is and he already felt the urge to start. If I actually believed this bullshit (I think if Tess didn't neglect him he wouldn't be this delayed, so I don't think this is a super common issue) and my kid was almost 4 and still hadn't started potty training, I would probably start trying to push them into it then, or I'd be very confused on why they weren't catching on.

It's seriously disgusting to me that Tess had him to feed her narc supply and everyone just goes along with it because god forbid you judge a shitty parent.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Also requirements for preschools depend on the school. Some require the kid is potty trained, some just require that the kid is ready. But there's other requirements too, requirements I doubt Jolene or Tess could be bothered with (knowing how to count at least a little, maybe knowing the alphabet, not having separation anxiety, etc).

This has been heavily discussed over in the Kailyn Wilcher thread.

The preschool I attended (and my brother also) required kids to be mostly potty trained, but if they needed a little help in there now and then it was ok.
The preschool I worked at in high school (lab preschool) required parents to supply a change of clothes for the child's cubby, and was pretty forgiving of accidents. However, diapers or pullups were not allowed. One little boy was having daily accidents due to a medical situation but even he was not allowed a diaper. The kids also could not require help in the bathroom; they had to complete the whole process by themselves.

I very sorely doubt that any quality preschool is going to permit a child to wear diapers or pullups for very long, solely because of the strain that would put on the teacher.

 

[mrspotatohead]

The cutoff date is generally late August, and the child must turn five by the cutoff date or they wait until the next round.

There is also kindergarten screening when the child is 3-4. The local county hosts readiness screening where they observe if the child is intellectually and emotionally ready for kindergarten. This swings both ways: a three year old can be recommended to begin as soon as they are 4 by the cutoff (if the parents wish to send them early); but the parents may be told their child needs more preparation (they won't take the kid if they aren't fully toilet trained, or doesn't know basics like the alphabet, or can't count to 20), therapies, or if special education is recommended.

Kailyn is another cow who has declined to toilet train her young child, resulting in the kid being left behind for a year as her useless sped mother is given more time to achieve basic parenting.

There is no way Tess's lazy ass is going to take Bowie to one of those, or that she cares enough about anyone but herself enough to tell Jolene to do it.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Fat Amy, Kailyn, now this porker, none of them can be bothered to housebreak their own kids. I can't imagine being so lazy that it's preferable to change diapers all day.

 

[multiverse]

Shoop experts, start your engines. Enlighten us as to the miracle of Tess's back and stomachs magically became concave.


Tess tells us about "esquiste" heels. Frankly, I'm more interested to know which grade level you finally gave up on, Tess. Was it 10th, or 11th? I know you attended high school, but surely your English language skills languished somewhere closer to primary school.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Shoop experts, start your engines. Enlighten us as to the miracle of Tess's back and stomachs magically became concave.
View attachment 1148119View attachment 1148120

Tess tells us about "esquiste" heels. Frankly, I'm more interested to know which grade level you finally gave up on, Tess. Was it 10th, or 11th? I know you attended high school, but surely your English language skills languished somewhere closer to primary school.
View attachment 1148122

That's easy. The dots mysteriously shrink as they get closer to her fake waist. Also, the shrubs near her left arm are distorted. There's probably more. I suck at this.

Also, 'esquiste' heels? Holy shit. I know literal children who would spell it better than that. She dropped out of high school whenever it became clear that her failing 3rd grade grammar was going to be a problem regardless of any other factors that went into her leaving.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Some of the 'fashion' from her upcoming collaboration.

Shoop experts, start your engines. Enlighten us as to the miracle of Tess's back and stomachs magically became concave.
View attachment 1148119View attachment 1148120

Tess tells us about "esquiste" heels. Frankly, I'm more interested to know which grade level you finally gave up on, Tess. Was it 10th, or 11th? I know you attended high school, but surely your English language skills languished somewhere closer to primary school.
View attachment 1148122

LOL those sleeves are beyond maximum capacity.

 

[Water-T]

LOL. OF COURSE Tess stood next to the woman that looks like she is getting eaten out by Jabba the Hutt. Messy Tessy must have been thrilled to find someone who made her look lithe by comparison.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Don't have much time right now, but here's some humor for you, so others know what I'm looking for as well.

Spoiler: Dumbassery Ahead - with huge images

Chose to use the first picture, because it's easy. Like Tess. Hur hur (is dumb, deserves trash cans)

Dresses don't typically weave in and out of plants. That's clearly a plant being overlaid on top of said dress. There's a plant brush in GIMP that's close to this. There's one in Photoshop that's almost exactly this. Application of said brush with a smidge of smudge makes a convincing overlay. Even better (and the method I suspect was used) is a color-select copy and paste to snag leaves and then paste them elsewhere.

Dresses don't typically make perfectly straight lines, Tess.

I just really liked the obvious bubble of smudged shit here. Because it's obvious.

This color is replicated exactly nowhere else in this pattern. It appears to have been copied from the cactus next to it and then blotted in with a 20hd soft brush tool at 100% opacity. Hence why it goes over the dress and her flesh as well.

Not a shoop, but even Lovecraftian horrors would use the power of christ to save them from the dangly crotch string and lack of knees.

Sorry I couldn't do more, but I'm in a massive hurry to get shit done.

 

[lamp shade]

Not a shoop, but even Lovecraftian horrors would use the power of christ to save them from the dangly crotch string and lack of knees.

If you crop her feet out in this one it looks like the back of someone’s legs and ass.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

 

[SnarkySperg]

View attachment 1148677
Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

1. Did...did she say she wanted a fag VP? How woke of her.
2. Also, if they've been deported, they can't be president. That's the point.
3. I feel like some of these have already been fulfilled. These fuckers act like Trump was the first and only POTUS, good god.

 

[multiverse]

View attachment 1148677
Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

How did all of these incredibly WOKE folks, who adored Obama, never learn that he was not just a college graduate; not just a law school graduate; not just a lawyer - but also a constitutional law professor? The love Bernie - do they know know he's an 80 year old who went to a top tier college and has been in power for three of their lifetimes because he knows how to work the game?

They love that Mexican chick from NYC, whats-her-face, but even she knows she's too retarded to make a run for higher office.

Can we just serve the next Meeting of the Woke some poisoned rainbow cake at this point? We can knock off the Proud Boys or whatever their equivalent are, then maybe get back to educated shills running shit efficiently.

Top hats are welcome.

 

[JambledUpWords]

1. Did...did she say she wanted a fag VP? How woke of her.
2. Also, if they've been deported, they can't be president. That's the point.
3. I feel like some of these have already been fulfilled. These fuckers act like Trump was the first and only POTUS, good god.

You know, by the description of the post, it sounds like Tess wants a person with max oppression points as president. I don’t think she’d like that though, because then if that president did something she didn’t like, she couldn’t criticize because that person would be more oppressed than she is.