Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I thought, that if movie has scientists, army men or people of other professions, they are usually real scientists, army men, etc. Also, that people on TV can see me, because how could it be possible that they can't? They are here, they are talking and I can hear them, fuck, they are even looking at me!

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I thought that the voice box was a literal box inside your throat that had a finite number of words in it.

I think my dad tried to mess with me by telling me that too.

(I don't think I ever seriously believed it though.)

 

[Farmer Dave]

I thought God was real.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

I used to legitimately believe the Zords in Power Rangers actually existed instead of using animatronics and that the mech battles themselves were real as opposed to being just a bunch of underpaid Japanese stuntmen in costumes. I was determined that I would be able to own my own Megazord when I became an adult. Sadly I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

 

[KiwiJoe]

When I was young around the time of the Iraq War I used to thought that the US was actually gonna take over Iraqistan (I got Afganistan and Iraq messed up often) and declare it as a new land (I'm guessing that was my young-self's meaning of state) where we were gonna have pyramids and camels.

Oh and find Osama's super secret mountain fortress.

 

[Orion Balls]

I completely misinterpreted the movie Batman. He was obviously the villain and the Joker was just a guy having fun. Who doesn't love a parade, some lightheated museum destruction, and a buzzer ring? It led to a recurring nightmare, where Batman would kidnap a bunch of people, and the Joker would save the day.

*Edit*- I was also completely convinced that I couldn't look up at the jaguar in my local zoo. Because it would fall on me. So, I walked around shielding my eyes everytime we went near its enclosure. Thanks, Winnie the Pooh!

 

[FluffyTehFennekin]

I used to think Rilakuma was a sanrio character ( that was before I learned about San-X)
I also used to think Miffy the bunny (she had her a claymation show that used to air on Noggin back in 2004-‘05) was a sanrio character too.

 

[Silicon Wasteland]

I thought all bikers were flaming homosexuals due to all the leather they wore. Honestly thought it was part of some gay subculture.

 

[Piss Bear]

I thought the U.S. was the only landmass on Earth and that North and South was just an endless ocean, I'm not sure how I reconciled this with knowing places like China and Africa existed.

Lmao. This reminded me: for short period of time as a kid, when I saw flat maps of the earth, I thought “Yeah I know those continents, but what’s on the other side of the earth?” and I used to think the other half of the earth was undiscovered territory. It didn’t take long for me to have the embarrassing realization, and thankfully I never asked the question aloud...

 

[ToroidalBoat]

When really young, I thought floppy disks had to stay in the disk drive to run what's on them, sort of like a movie. (In reality, you can eject the disk once the data is loaded into the RAM.)

 

[Niggernerd]

I thought the milk commercial with mario was the coolest thing ever created.

 

[Jason Wynn]

I thought Quest 64 looked amazing and convinced my mom to make that my Christmas gift the year it came out. Taught me to always be wary of advertising.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

For some reason I thought, that when you buy a bus ticket, you can travel for only one stop with it, after that you need to buy a new one.

 

[Chan Fan]

I used to think that all old people were nice, gave good advice and told interesting stories (my mom told me this when I was a kid so I thought it was true.) Turns out that old people are just like everyone else, some are super nice and interesting and others are complete douchebags

 

[TotallyAChick]

I thought gypsies were just whites who didn't wash. It didn't make me hate them though, I thought: Well, maybe they can't do it or have a good reason, we shouldn't hate them because of that. Maybe their moms never made them wash like mine did.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I used to think that retiring always meant quitting your job and living in an elderly home for the rest of your life. I thought it was pretty weird whenever I'd hear about a young person retiring from their job or something.

I forget where I saw it when I was young, but I saw a jar or tube of some sort of cream that I swear had a recommendation to use it for retirement parties. Young me couldn't understand what made this cream so special it could only be used upon retirement.

When really young, I thought floppy disks had to stay in the disk drive to run what's on them, sort of like a movie. (In reality, you can eject the disk once the data is loaded into the RAM.)

Sometimes, that worked, and sometimes that didn't. Here's a story about the latter:

In my 9th grade Introduction to Computers class, we had a half day before a holiday break, so the teacher let us play computer games in lieu of working on classwork during the limited time our class met that day. One particular game where the user played the role of a swashbuckling pirate who had to kill as many enemies before they weakened him to the point of death, was so popular that multiple people wanted to play it despite having a single floppy disk. Our teacher suggested what you did: one person loads the program and then passes the disk to the next person wanting to play the same game. That seemed to work. However, when the swashbuckler finally died, the program needed the disk to return back to the main screen for some reason. Needless to say, the four or five of us playing that game concurrently ended up with empty disk drives making noise when they needed the disk to continue the game.

 

[Xarpho]

I thought gypsies were just whites who didn't wash. It didn't make me hate them though, I thought: Well, maybe they can't do it or have a good reason, we shouldn't hate them because of that. Maybe their moms never made them wash like mine did.

Pretty sure that I thought something similar, that they were more of a subculture (like hippies) composed of fortune tellers and others, rather than an actual people group. Public school didn't help, of course...

 

[BOONES]

I used to think black people were cool and that if you acted black your skin would change color. This was when I was 4

 

[NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE]

I thought pee came from the ballsack until I was around 13. this "hairy bladder" joke I saw on TV reinforced my belief. I always wondered why the sack didn't get smaller after I pissed.

 

[Shield Breaker]

Growing up, we had a female cat and a male dog. A lot of cartoons made the cat female and the dog male as well. Therefore, four year old me assumed that they were the same species, and that all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.