Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[SnarkySperg]

You know, by the description of the post, it sounds like Tess wants a person with max oppression points as president. I don’t think she’d like that though, because then if that president did something she didn’t like, she couldn’t criticize because that person would be more oppressed than she is.

She'd find something to complain about, however nonsensical, if it meant she didn't have to admit that she has to admit she lost at the oppression olympics.

 

[66andtwothirds]

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Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

just trying to get as much attention as possible with buzzwords and woke platitudes.

 

[Casta Spersions]

Some of the 'fashion' from her upcoming collaboration.


LOL those sleeves are beyond maximum capacity.

Funny how the "model" is the shortest one...

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

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Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

I’d sooner take Tess’ advice on diet and exercise before I listen to her about politics. Only late stage capitalism can support a morbidly obese model who is able to have a roof over her head and eat (a lot) while contributing absolutely nothing of value to society.

 

[Popoto]

2. Also, if they've been deported, they can't be president. That's the point.

I don't think it matters as long as the deportation was not from the US, otherwise entire swathes of people from those who thought teaching English in Asia would be a good idea to serving as a diplomat in a politically volatile region would be barred from running for President.

 

[*Dream Pineapple*]

Around here, you can start preschool as young as two (like, a friend of mine put her kid in a couple months after she turned two), though to me it just sounds like glorified daycare at that age.

Kindergarten usually isn't until you're five. Where I live (admittedly not anywhere close to Tess), if the child turns 4 before September 1st, they can start Pre-K, or kindergarten if they're five by that date. I know of a place to have a cutoff date as late as October 1st and here it was July 1st for a bit.

Also requirements for preschools depend on the school. Some require the kid is potty trained, some just require that the kid is ready. But there's other requirements too, requirements I doubt Jolene or Tess could be bothered with (knowing how to count at least a little, maybe knowing the alphabet, not having separation anxiety, etc).

Remember the kid I mentioned who made it clear he wanted to start potty training? Well, he was a boy. I think he wasn't even two yet. So he's half the age Bowie is and he already felt the urge to start. If I actually believed this bullshit (I think if Tess didn't neglect him he wouldn't be this delayed, so I don't think this is a super common issue) and my kid was almost 4 and still hadn't started potty training, I would probably start trying to push them into it then, or I'd be very confused on why they weren't catching on.

It's seriously disgusting to me that Tess had him to feed her narc supply and everyone just goes along with it because god forbid you judge a shitty parent.

My daughter just turned two and I’ve enrolled her in a two hour preschool class twice a week. Granted, that is nowhere near full time Preschool; but at least she’s getting the basics of taking turns, following directions, ABCs, etc. There’s no potty training assistance such as in many daycares this age, but we’ve been potty training for about 8 months so we’re on track to be finished by 3.

But with two ton Tess? Bowie is 4. Realistically, he should be potty trained. My son is 4 and he is completely trained, and it was no small feat. You start very early and take the long, less bumpy road. I could never imagine Tess, at 400+ pounds, running(lol) after Bowie to pick him up (which she can’t even do) and run (lol) him to the toilet to plop him down to use it after he let out a small amount of urine. That’s part of teaching them the connection, and that requires an observant eye and quick movements, both she doesn’t seem to have.

 

[SnarkySperg]

I don't think it matters as long as the deportation was not from the US, otherwise entire swathes of people from those who thought teaching English in Asia would be a good idea to serving as a diplomat in a politically volatile region would be barred from running for President.

She's spoken out against having rules around immigration (like, she's one of those 'no one is illegal on stolen land' people) to the US and since the only deportation these woketards seem to care about is from the US to Mexico, I assumed she was still referring to that.

 

[Tyrante]

I knew about that woman since I first started out in the alternative modeling business. There were so many people adoring her and calling her courageous because of her size that I began to think I was living in some alternate dimension. I am so glad some are not buying in this whole "being obese is beautiful" thing. She used to snap at every single person telling her she is unhealthy, I do not follow her anymore.

 

[JuniperFalls]

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Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

Is this all supposed to be a description of one person? Setting aside the constitutional issue of being "deported" (the US constitution mandates a president be not only a US citizen, but a natural-born citizen -- meaning, a citizen from birth rather than someone who acquired citizenship later, and citizens by definition cannot be "deported" from their home countries), it sounds like this person has to be a black drug-addicted cross-dressing lesbian rape victim ex-teenage abortion patient with bad teeth who grew up in poverty, has cancer and AIDS, an arrest record, has been singled out by the Klan at least once, held her AIDS-ravaged significant other in her arms at the moment of death and presumably still suffers PTSD from all of this.

And if "deported" is also a requirement, this means that, despite being sick, traumatized and in poverty, this American woman somehow was able to go to a foreign country and spend some time there before the local government kicked her out and deported her back to the United States.

Did I miss anything?

You want this to be possible, Tess? Then go find someone who meets every standard you listed here, and urge them to run for office.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Is this all supposed to be a description of one person? Setting aside the constitutional issue of being "deported" (the US constitution mandates a president be not only a US citizen, but a natural-born citizen -- meaning, a citizen from birth rather than someone who acquired citizenship later, and citizens by definition cannot be "deported" from their home countries), it sounds like this person has to be a black drug-addicted cross-dressing lesbian rape victim ex-teenage abortion patient with bad teeth who grew up in poverty, has cancer and AIDS, an arrest record, has been singled out by the Klan at least once, held her AIDS-ravaged significant other in her arms at the moment of death and presumably still suffers PTSD from all of this.

And if "deported" is also a requirement, this means that, despite being sick, traumatized and in poverty, this American woman somehow was able to go to a foreign country and spend some time there before the local government kicked her out and deported her back to the United States.

Did I miss anything?

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You want this to be possible, Tess? Then go find someone who meets every standard you listed here, and urge them to run for office.

Great idea Tess, just give someone with PTSD, AIDS, and previous bouts of cancer one of the hardest jobs in the world. Surely nothing will go wrong

 

[tarrant]

tess strikes me as the kind of person who calls every president EXCEPT obama a war criminal even though obama did the exact same thing as the ones who came before him. she also strikes me as the kind of person who genuinely knows nothing about politics outside of what she reads on some other "woke influencer's" instagram story

 

[SnarkySperg]

tess strikes me as the kind of person who calls every president EXCEPT obama a war criminal even though obama did the exact same thing as the ones who came before him. she also strikes me as the kind of person who genuinely knows nothing about politics outside of what she reads on some other "woke influencer's" instagram story

I'm not even convinced she's truly this woke anyway. She strikes me as the type who feels like she HAS to discuss politics so she takes the easy way out. Easiest thing for a Millennial woman to identify as is Democrat, so she goes with that. I don't think I've ever seen her post anything she's said herself, she just retweets other people or adds their posts to her stories. She has no idea what she's talking about. She's put zero thought into her political views and is just parroting other people.

 

[mrspotatohead]

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Tess is posting more exceptional woke drivel on Instagram again.

That shit is from the 90s and I have seen it passed around on social media as early as 2008. Tess's attempts to be "woke" are embarrassing. Then again, of course she's late on everything. This is the woman that still thinks rockabilly shit is cool.

edited to prevent double posting

My daughter just turned two and I’ve enrolled her in a two hour preschool class twice a week. Granted, that is nowhere near full time Preschool; but at least she’s getting the basics of taking turns, following directions, ABCs, etc. There’s no potty training assistance such as in many daycares this age, but we’ve been potty training for about 8 months so we’re on track to be finished by 3.

But with two ton Tess? Bowie is 4. Realistically, he should be potty trained. My son is 4 and he is completely trained, and it was no small feat. You start very early and take the long, less bumpy road. I could never imagine Tess, at 400+ pounds, running(lol) after Bowie to pick him up (which she can’t even do) and run (lol) him to the toilet to plop him down to use it after he let out a small amount of urine. That’s part of teaching them the connection, and that requires an observant eye and quick movements, both she doesn’t seem to have.

Yep either that or just consistently taking them to the toilet every 10-15 minutes every single day until they get it, which even if she was willing to put forth that effort, she doesn't spend enough time with him to do that.

 

[multiverse]

I know it shouldn't shock me as much as it does that no one has ever bothered to begin toilet training Bowie until it's nearly time for 4K (which he cannot be enrolled in come fall if he's in diapers). But seriously, until 4 months ago he had a nanny, a stay at home dad, and a mother who barely works and was mostly home. Between three adults ostensibly caring for him round the clock, NO ONE could have started potty training him at age two?

They didn't go to jobs all day; they didn't have to stick him in day care all day and only have the nights and weekends to work on it. This is why I hate it when lolcows have kids; it's far less funny when there are small people who suffer.

Anyway, here's another glimpse at how cheap and awful Tess's new "line" is going to be; she tells us that her laziness is an important and radical act; a white woman from Mississippi who holds some very racist opinions on black men teaches us how not to racism; and she's flexing Disney branded tarps.

 

[Tyrante]

I know it shouldn't shock me as much as it does that no one has ever bothered to begin toilet training Bowie until it's nearly time for 4K (which he cannot be enrolled in come fall if he's in diapers). But seriously, until 4 months ago he had a nanny, a stay at home dad, and a mother who barely works and was mostly home. Between three adults ostensibly caring for him round the clock, NO ONE could have started potty training him at age two?

They didn't go to jobs all day; they didn't have to stick him in day care all day and only have the nights and weekends to work on it. This is why I hate it when lolcows have kids; it's far less funny when there are small people who suffer.

Anyway, here's another glimpse at how cheap and awful Tess's new "line" is going to be; she tells us that her laziness is an important and radical act; a white woman from Mississippi who holds some very racist opinions on black men teaches us how not to racism; and she's flexing Disney branded tarps.
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Another brand based on glorifying discrimination and acting like a victim. It does not surprise me at all, she is a true influencer after all.

 

[SnarkySperg]

I know it shouldn't shock me as much as it does that no one has ever bothered to begin toilet training Bowie until it's nearly time for 4K (which he cannot be enrolled in come fall if he's in diapers). But seriously, until 4 months ago he had a nanny, a stay at home dad, and a mother who barely works and was mostly home. Between three adults ostensibly caring for him round the clock, NO ONE could have started potty training him at age two?

I'm just waiting for her to attempt to enroll him and be turned away and her try to pretend like she's persecuted because of it.

Anyway, here's another glimpse at how cheap and awful Tess's new "line" is going to be; she tells us that her laziness is an important and radical act; a white woman from Mississippi who holds some very racist opinions on black men teaches us how not to racism; and she's flexing Disney branded tarps.

Yes, because diVeRsiTy is more important than making the products look good.

I hate people. You all are okay though.

 

[mrspotatohead]

How much fucking filler is in her lips at this point? Her top lip is BIGGER than her bottom lip. That's not supposed to be that way!

 

[Sir Dank-a-Lot]

How much fucking filler is in her lips at this point? Her top lip is BIGGER than her bottom lip. That's not supposed to be that way!

Her whole body is not supposed to be that way, but here we are...

 

[Cockyxx]

I love how good the WOKE/SJW-crowd is with words.

What I think she means is:

1. Her 5 minutes of fame are over and nobody cares anymore
2. No company is hiring her so she has plenty of time to drink her problems away with her friends
3. "focusing on my boys" - yeah. You mean avoiding responsibility by giving away your older son and moving in with the babysitter of your younger one
4. "making meaningful connections" - she means trying to find women fatter than her for pictures so she appears smaller
5. you're not happy, Tess. You lost the only person that would wipe your ass for you and who the hell knows for how long you still will be here. Maybe another 10 years but I'm being optimistic.


EDIT: Oh god I love that this chick is replying to TESS fucking HOLLIDAY. You know, the Jabba The Hutt of Narcissism

 

[stuffandthings]

a white woman from Mississippi who holds some very racist opinions on black men teaches us how not to racism; and she's flexing Disney branded tarps.
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Tess, taking a stand against racism, fascism, and homophobia.

Also Tess, kneeling down to suck the cock of the Mouse who is simultaneously kneeling down to suck the cock of racist homophobic Red China.