Bigot Brigade Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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JohnDoe said:
Dragonforce has some decent tracks for the gym at least, lets give them a little credit.
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They're a perfectly fine band, I really don't need to justify it to anyone from an intellectual level. If anything I sneer at people who presume listening to certain bands over others makes them smurt, which having gone to collage during the mid 00's indie rock scene really took of I've seen a lot off.
Metal is really good to work out to in general though. Spotify made an amazing workout lineup for me.
 
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Emperor Julian said:
They're a perfectly fine band, I really don't need to justify it to anyone from an intellectual level. If anything I sneer at people who presume listening to certain bands over others makes them smurt, which having gone to collage during the mid 00's indie rock scene really took of I've seen a lot off.
Metal is really good to work out to in general though. Spotify made an amazing workout lineup for me.
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Taste in music is subjective. Most rational people are just like you. It's goons who try to create an identity around their music and video game preferences.
 
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Emperor Julian said:
You know they could just enjoy Dragonforce because they enjoy it and not have to build some deeper rationale. I've noticed music fans do this a lot, that the emotions they feel have to be intellectually justified and that others also have to be (de)legitimized, makes sense SA posters wouldnt be able to disasociate their online antics to liking a song about dragons and magic.
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That's basically goons liking anything at all, write dissertation length forum posts about it's deep, hidden themes and meanings. At least kuuenbu's Dragonforce post probably had some sincerity and connection to how the music made him feel while he was listening to it, while later year goons would still write endless amounts of words about the same type of shit, except pretending they thought every thing they liked was secretly in favor of communism or self-castration
 
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Ilmseil said:
Yes, an extremely gay kid who demanded everyone take a feminism class so they can be just like him

goodmenproject.com

Lead a Good Life, Everyone: Trey Malone's Suicide Note - The Good Men Project

Trey Malone took his own life two years ago today, in June 2012. His last wish was that his voice finally be heard and listened to.
goodmenproject.com goodmenproject.com

E: it appears the cop thing was just a trigger, he was actually upset that his anal sodomy cherry didn't go to the man of his dreams and instead a random guy at the faggot parties where homosexuals generally make their assholes available 500+ times a year. He got blackout drunk as he was apparently known to do and some homo predator (redundant) took advantage. The only way out was jumping off the skyway bridge lol.
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Printer goon and "take a feminism class" goon were different. Feminism goon was TS12, who launched himself off a bridge because he was facing a charge of assaulting a cop. His suicide note (as much as I could be assed to read, it's a long, pathetic ramble that tries to be "poetic" but really shows what a self-regarding pseud he was) doesn't mention either his love life or the assaulting a cop charge so we don't know either way for sure. But it does mention feminism, his being allegedly sexually assaulted, and rape statistics.

News article

Thomas Francis "Trey" Malone
Bradenten, FL
b. 1992 d. June 18 2012 Age 20

Mugshot:

J8mPA1S.jpg


Full suicide note:

I suppose, in a lot of ways, this was how it was meant to end. The water tried to take me once and I’m drawn back to this day. Especially on a day like today.

There is a certain sense of irony involved in choosing to end my life in the one thing that’s always pushing forward. Even in this awful polluted bay, the water licks the seaweed and barnacle-covered pieces of rock. There’s some tortured metaphor in everything isn’t there?

When I was in elementary school, I often wondered if I’d get to be like Dad. I spent hours imagining my own reconstructed version of those stories. Initially, the base of these dreams was King Arthur. Endeared by months spent on that bed reading back and forth with mom, then it turned to Zelda, a black and white Gameboy game. The landmarks of St. Maarten all became transplants from that 2” by 2” screen. By the end of 2nd grade, however, it became your stories dad. All those years reading and imagining developed into that one strong fanciful King Arthur of New York. There is a special level of humility to all those tales. The triumphs and failings of a damaged man, certainly no less broken than the rest of us, but human, none the less.

My dreams and hopes have shifted since then, but that base has always been there. King Malone in the Volvo P1800 (with the broken headlights). These days, I’ve become more tired of remembering the past and wondering about the future. I’ve slowly watched that future collapse in on itself whether by my own actions or those of others and now I’m simply tired. My future is rubble and while below that rubble, there is still a foundation, my arms are weak and my tools are broken. My job is gone, relationships strained, and mugshot posted. Entropy is a funny thing I suppose. A house of stone may take a millennia to collapse, but it will collapse. Unfortunately, it would appear the imaginary building blocks of my future were far less sturdy.

Even absent that natural collapse, the sexual assault was too much. There was no adequate form of preparation available for that and no repair afterwards. What began as an earnest effort to help on the part of Amherst, became an emotionless hand washing. In those places I should’ve received help, I saw none. I suppose there are many possible reasons for this. But in the end, I’m still here and so too is that night. I hold no ill will nor do I place an iota of blame upon my family. I blame a society that remains unwilling to address sexual assault and chomp wad. One that pays some object form of lip service to the idea of sexual crimes while working its hardest to marginalize its victims. One where the first question a college president can pose to me, regarding my own assault is, “Have you handled your drinking problem?”

My story is far from exceptional in this regard. Every two minutes there is another victim. 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. 1 in every 6 woman in the US has been a victim of chomp wad and 1 in 33 men. Despite this, every awful myth about chomp wad persists. Society will continue to blame women for the clothes they wear (despite hard evidence showing no link) and continue to say, “You shouldn’t have been there” when 73% of rapes are committed by non strangers and more than 50% take place within one mile of the victims home. (4 in 10 take place at their home) Sexual crime is viewed as inconsequential unless the fabled “dark alley with a gun” assault occurs and even then, women face the eternal, “why were you there? What were you wearing?” badgering.

To hear men and women speak of our culture as some Feminazi PC nightmare is embarrassing. To act as though we are not to be held accountable for our words and language is even worse. Free speech has never nor will it ever mean immunity from criticism. Words and languages have meaning. If you don’t think what you say or how you phrase it matters, look up Frank Luntz. The next time you carelessly use the N-word or any other derogatory term, the next time you call some man a bitch or a pussy, try to think about the repercussions of casual slurs. If you’re angry about political correctness or whatever other worthless phrase you feel is necessary, ask yourself why you feel not only entitled to the usage of slurs but compelled to. Read some real freaking feminist literature and stop listening to Rush Limbaugh too. “Feminism is for Everybody” by bell hooks is a good start.

Sorry I ranted a bit, but please have someone read the last two paragraphs to whomever comes to say goodbye. I love all of you and I know this will hurt you more than anything else I could have done, but I’m tired and the water looks beautiful. Pithy a statement as it may be, “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” is certainly accurate. I’d take my own advice, but I stopped listening nine months and six days ago.

Mom, I’m sure you will blame yourself for any number of things, but I want you to know it is not nor was it ever your fault. If it were not for you, dad, Dan, Callan, and everyone else, I never would have lasted this long. I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you. Please go to Costa Rica. You deserve every minute of it. Besides, I hear they pack your lunch for you in heaven.

Dad, I imagine this will hit you the hardest . I want you to know that I still have that dream. Even if I’ll never get to see it. Please take care of your health. Callan will need you and so will everyone else. I love you dad.

Dan, Sorry about the $300. I’d pay you back if I could. You were right about most of the things you told me and I’m sorry that you’ll have to buy a ticket down as well. Take a break please. Find some way to spend time with everyone. I love you I’m sorry.

Callan, What happened over the last week has nothing to do with this, if nothing else, it was one helluva way to end it. Please study and work, You’re every bit as capable as I ever was. You can finish what I couldn’t. Spend the time you need to, please get A’s. I always wanted to name a son after dad and if you could for me, I’d be thankful. You are by no means required or even expected to. Do what you want to. Pet the dog too, she’s very nice. I love you Callan. You’re a beautiful girl and going to be a stunning woman. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Listen to dad and write down his stories cause I never could.

Sheng, Sorry I fell out of touch dude. You’re a great guy and I’m sorry that I’ll miss the parties. Make them count for me and even if it annoys you, try to take some Women and genders study classes. Tell nick I say hey (or bye I guess) as well. I’m not drunk enough to rant about politics right now, sorry. Either way, it meant more than you will ever know that you were such a good friend to me when I got back to Amherst.

Nathan- Freshman, you’re far too nice for your own good. No one dude, should be so willing to listen and talk. Sorry that I can’t give you the full story now, but I imagine the police report is funny as hell. Keep reading and do something important. Do me a favor and tell Sara Simonsson that my fake ID came in as well.

Everyone else, I’m sorry, my hand is falling off. If we were friends, remember me for at least a week or so. Please listen to what I said about sexual assault. There are millions more just like me that need help and no, someone who is drunk cannot give consent, fuckers.

Remember me however you’d like. I hope it’s a positive memory. If not, I swear to god I will haunt you. I don’t know how that works, but I figure I’ll have plenty of time to figure it out. Lead a good life, everyone.

The water looks beautiful.
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Printer goon was a different guy, username was Borky. Everyone says he later committed suicide but I've never seen any evidence of this anywhere other than people just repeating it. His permaban message reads "Suicide by printer cable", but that's not exactly confirmation of anything and it doesn't link to a specific post. SA's search feature is so broken that of his 1965 posts, it can find a grand total of 2, and my account has both plat and archives. I have found no documentary evidence of his suicide, unless anyone else has managed better than I have it's at best a legend.

His Printer post:

A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.

I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.

By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed.

After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that

To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall.

This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door.

So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.
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A confirmed Goon suicide was Zerglingminor, who shot himself. Dude had gigantism and was in constant pain from various medical problems, by all accounts he was a cool dude.
 
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Battlecruiser3000ad said:
This is a more famous pic of GE Cafe
View attachment 1150587

was he the one who posted about fucking himself with a dildo until a piece of his insides fell out?
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Yep. I am rarely absolutely shocked by a piece of text but when he talked about greasing up mr sunshine my jaw dropped when I reached the infamous paragraph.
 
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smackpops said:
i wanna say the colon blaster was 2 worlds?
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Colon Blaster was GE Cafe, who told a variety of horrifying stories. That's a man, by the way (above a certain weight it can be hard to tell).

Two Worlds! (AKA Ariel Antonio Campos). There's a blast from the past. He'd definitely have a thread here if he was still active, but afaik he's gone to ground.

Backstory is that there was a goon dating thread. 2 Worlds posts in it, and then someone who allegedly knows him irl begs the mods not to let him have the personal details of any women. The mods threaten to ban her unless she unleashes the deets as to exactly why, and she responds with the following. Unlike some of the other posts I've quoted I'd highly advise you to read it all. It's fucking incredible:

“This is the longest thing I’ve ever posted on SA or anywhere online…
I don’t really remember when I started talking to Two Worlds but I believe he IMed me first and at the time I had no idea who he was. Some time later, he requested I make that avatar for him and I had to ask why he wanted all of those random characters in the first place. He proceeded to tell me in great detail about the Arielverse, how he has multiple “personas” and that each of those characters represents an individual persona in his mind: The Brute, The Tempest, Mr. C (now dead and with no current replacement), Partyman, The Saint and The Puppetmaster. He also talked about Helldump a lot and how he was the defender of SA (GBS in particular). He also told me about all these weird rules he has for his life like that he could not cuss or cry until he lost his virginity. The weird thing is though, he didn’t actually consider that he lost his virginity until the third time that he had sex because he hadn’t cummed inside her yet and they hadn’t both cummed at the same time.
Anyway, myself and some of the other goons listed as well as others often chat on Skype in the evenings so I invited Two Worlds in and he more or less became part of the group. It didn’t take long to find out that Two Worlds has problems. Lots and lots of problems. You see, he constantly talks about his problems and himself and always wants goony goon advice although he never ever takes it.

He insists on adding people to his Facebook so after much prodding a few finally became Facebook friends. One thing to note about Two Worlds is that EVERYONE trolls him. Not just Helldumpers or goons but people he knows in real life as well. He just kind of drives people to the edge, he has so many insane theories and misguided beliefs that he refuses to change that people he knows just end up insulting him or baiting him to say more ridiculous shit. I used to feel bad for him about this but now I know why they do it.

For instance, he believes in the upper world and the under world (Homo Lumen and Homo Cthoni he says). The upper world is full of people who go to Walmart, have 2.5 kids, live in suburban homes, go to church and don’t have any secrets at all, they don’t have any kinky fetishes and they don’t go on the Internet. Then there are the underworlders. This is essentially a laundry list that ranges from goons to channers to child rapists and goth kids. Ariel believes that he is the only person who is between these "two worlds” (yeah, that’s where the name comes from) and that he constantly has to balance the forces in his life. If you try to tell him, as many have, that most people who seemingly live normal lives have skeletons in their closet or have some kind of kinky sexual fetish he refuses to believe you and spergs out about it. He also refuses to believe that people “from the Internet” have “real world” problems or lives. Except for him of course, he’s a beautiful little unique snow flake.
At first, I took pity on him and I tried to help him. I spent a lot of damn time giving him good advice on things like women, making friends, sex and job searching. It’s amazing how completely naiive he is about the most common sense things. After he broke up with his girlfriend, I got onto the subject of sex and he said he didn’t use a condom with this lass. He then said “she only slept with 11 guys before me” and “she’s infertile” because he thought that that means he also cannot get an STD. I told him he should probably get tested and even looked up directions to a local clinic. He freaked out because the nurses would see him and know what he was coming in for and no one can know that he’s had sex. He asked me if he could just get tested for swine flu or something instead.

I told him how normal it is to get tested and told him that in the future he needs to wear condoms to which he had another freak out because the cashier will see him and maybe one of his former students may see him buying small penis condoms. Plus, they’ll all know he’s having premartial sex, which he believes Upper World people don’t do. He, to this day, refuses to buy condoms even when I gave him a link to ones he can buy online. He also claimed that Lutheran women don’t have premarital sex so he’ll just have sex with Lutheran women from now on. He treats non-lutheran women like chattel, if a girl is non-lutheran he has no problem asking them to make homegrown for his own personal enjoyment. When he’s mad at you and you’re a female he will threaten to masturbate to your photos, which he saves from Facebook and AwfulYearBook. Yes, this happened to me. One time, a goonette talked dirty to him as a joke and he had to leave the call to go jerk off.

Two Worlds is incredibly socially awkward. He doesn’t have any real friends to speak of in Decatur where he currently lives. He says that he has to have balance in his life so when he gets an opportunity to possibly hang out with someone he will often turn it down because they are too nerdy and he feels that he did one nerdy thing that day so now he needs to balance out his upper world and under world by hanging out with a broseph type at a bar. He doesn’t really like bros but he wants to be like them so he figures if he hangs out with them he will be more like them.
One time, he was feeling particularly lonely. He wanted our advice on how to set up something at his apartment. He’s never had anyone except for his ex-gf at his apartment before. So he turned on his webcam and walked us through his apartment so I could give him tips on what needed to be cleaned up/moved for guests. After this, he wrote up a message to send to some of his nerdy gamer friends on Facebook inviting them over for a party that weekend. I believe this was a Wednesday. In the past, when he tried to call people to hang out he would get very distressed if the call went to voice mail or they said that they were busy. We assured him that this wasn’t a big deal. I and another goon looked over his note to his nerd friends and it looked pretty chill. Invited them over to play some games, wii and drink. He kept asking us over and over again if he sounded gay. He is very afraid of sounding gay.

He sent off the message and the response from one of them was that he was busy that weekend but he knew some other people who might want to hang out. To this, Ariel responded that it was “too late” and just killed it right there.

Another time, there was a celebration in his town and he was whining that he had no one to go with but this one girl did express interest. He refused to call her because she was “too goony” (even though I’m pretty sure she’s not a goon), possibly watches anime and is the “bad kind of fat.” She was less heavy than his last girlfriend and a lot cuter but whatever. Eventually, he invited her to come to his apartment to watch a movie and hang out. She agreed even though they barely know each other. So he tells us that she’ll be coming over the next night around 8:30 PM to watch a movie. The goons he was talking to on Skype lightly joke with him that he’s going to get some. He spergs out, as usual. He claims he doesn’t want to get laid because getting laid turned out so badly last time. Eventually we convince him it might be a possibility. Then he says that he doesn’t want to do anything with his penis involved, and that he can show her his magic fingers, claiming she won’t be able to walk afterwards. Once he gets her off, he’ll simply jerk himself off so she doesn’t have to get him off.

Needless to say, it’s frustrating when someone asks you for advice then constantly doesn’t take it. Then when things don’t go his way he calls up crying and sobbing. On top of the crying and sobbing, there is literally no way of making him feel better. He wallows in self-pity. It’s like crack for him. I can give him compliments and he says, “I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON DON’T EVER SAY THAT.” I can tell him good things about himself and he just turns it around. He goes to the bar and gets drunk by himself on three screwdrivers then comes back and cries some more about how he’s going to kill himself via alcohol poisoning. It’s probably my own fault but I wasted a lot of time worrying about the little guy and trying to talk him out of “doing something to put himself on the news.”

The ultimate thing myself and all the goons who were talking to him tried to help Two Worlds with was getting him to go to a psychiatrist. He went to a therapist a few times (several times he skipped his appointments) and the therapist recommended that he go to a psychiatrist. All he had to do to get medication for his many issues was have a blood test done, so he said. Much like going to get tested for STDs, he flat out refused to do this. I never understood why but he simply would not go. Now, his insurance from his past job has run out and he has no hope of getting it done. Instead, he chooses to believe people who are trolling him’s diagnosis of Asperger’s, so he is now self-diagnosed aspie.

I guess I should address Two Worlds’ past career. There’s a lot of rumors on the forums about this I’ve noticed. He worked as a teacher for one year at a Lutheran high school. He had zero control over his classes and students walked all over him. He couldn’t even control a class of two students. As a result, Ariel called Professor Xavier to get the Dream Helm to help with the dementor attacks in his class, but the X-Men were too busy to bring Ariel the Dream Helm because the S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier was hijacked by terrorists (from his Live Journal). Eventually, the students who actually wanted to learn complained to their parents that nothing was getting done in class and the school had to let him go. He has been unemployed up until this month when he got a job as a delivery boy with Papa John’s.
Although he claims to be in between the two worlds of the Internet and the real world, I don’t know anyone who has more cross over between lives. Most people probably keep their Something Awful postings and general Internet shenanigans out of conversation with real life friends. Ariel does not do this. He talks about Something Awful on his Twitter and Facebook. He uses Intener memes in real life (I know from talking to one of his real life friends.) He even goatsed everyone on his Facebook once. He talks publically on his Facebook about separating his Lutheran friends/Decatur people from the Internet people on his list like they can’t see it. Telling him to remove Internet people from his friend’s list is futile. So I told him he could make a separate fake Facebook just for Internet people so that he wouldn’t make a gigantic ass of himself in front of friends and family in real life. Another piece of advice he did not take.

If there’s a term for Two Worlds, it would be “Too Much Information.” Even when people ask him not to he shares intimate details about things like his girlfriend’s vagina (horrid smell and the gaping size) and the kinky things he would do to her involving household objects such as his toothbrush, remote control and cellphone. He would also use the horrid smell of her vagina as the reason he couldn’t stay hard, even though he would constantly ask her if he was still hard while he was inside her. He would say these things both during and after he was dating her.

He never ever talks about anyone but himself. If you try to have a conversation about something it somehow gets turned into a conversation either about the Arielverse or his problems. Even when I had conversations with him about things we both mutually liked like comic books it would get turned into something about him. He never asks how I am doing or what’s going on in my life but I sure as hell knew every minute detail of his every day happenings whether I wanted to or not. He will blatantly interrupt you mid-sentence and ramble into one of his own problems totally unrelated to any conversation, and will ignore any attempts to move the conversation away from himself.

So after months of this bullshit, everyone just kind of got sick of it, so after he was invited in, we’d turn the conversation back to something that wasn’t Two Worlds. One time we tried to turn the conversation to food and he freaked out and said, “IS THAT A MEME?!” He thought we were laughing at him when we weren’t and would freak out over weird shit like one person in Skype saying, “WWCXD?” (What would Charles Xavier Do?) He yelled at us to shut the fuck up.
He told one goon that he was being “out of character for this story arc” because he stopped giving him advice. When the goon implored what he meant, Ariel said that he was “breaking the 4th wall” and that Warren Ellis was writing a story about them.

This all came to a head one night when one person in Skype told him he was One World and that if anyone was Two Worlds it was not him. He got really depressed about this. The next day he started raging out on Facebook about us. I sent him a message asking him to just remove me from his friend’s list and telling him that I hope he seeks psychological help and is happier some day. That afternoon, I find out he decided to start calling bosses to get back at us for whatever reason.
He called my friend’s boss and said that she was harassing him from work, which was totally bogus. So she had to have a conversation with her employer about Ariel Campos. She is a single mom by the way and probably the one person out of the group who was the nicest to him out of everyone.
This all happened very recently and I feel that people need to know this shit, that Ariel isn’t a poor soul who gets a bad rap on SA but actually a really big jerk who has mental problems but refuses to get help and revels in the attention that people give him; good or bad. I guess that’s where the “passive aggressive posts” come from because I didn’t want to troll the thread with the drama. I’m sorry to shit up your challenge, Ayb.

I think that’s about everything. I really didn’t want this to be tl;dr but it’s kind of impossible with someone like Two Worlds who holds four-hour conversations with you entirely about himself.“
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